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Gender: male
Age: 24
Consoles Owned: Nintendo DS, PS2
Video Games Played: Pokemon, Pokemon, and that one with the monsters you have to capture and battle. I forget what it's called.
Interests: Writing, Lucid dreaming, Pokemon, Transformers (yes, even the Michael Bay version), Christianity, and movies.
Date Signed Up:4/07/2011
Last Login:8/31/2015
Location:Right behind you
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I tell jokes and I make faces. I am JokeFace.

latest user's comments

#414163 - Is that a pun as well? If so I guess I've become the very thin…  [+] (2 new replies) 08/27/2015 on Hating - file complaints,... 0
User avatar #414171 - cantstumpthetrump (08/27/2015) [-]
Ohh no, I meant like the board. Me and you are both oldfags so it was just an inside joke.
User avatar #414172 - jokeface (08/28/2015) [-]
Ohh. I actually haven't been on /religion/ in a while. Not since it became all about shitposting. I've popped in a few times just to check up on things, but I almost never post there anymore.
#117 - I guess. Glad I'm not in that field of work, that I don't have… 08/27/2015 on Awesome! +1
#72 - Every time I see TLA mentioned I just want to skip the content…  [+] (2 new replies) 08/27/2015 on Oh... -5
#93 - thegreenbutton (08/27/2015) [-]
This is the first time people are talking about the sequel on here. Nothing really to be "tired" about.
User avatar #203 - jokeface (08/27/2015) [-]
I'm referring to the first movie as well. Every time that one gets mentioned it gets shit on. And now this one is gonna get the same treatment.
#115 - How much extra are you spending to have the coin locks on them?  [+] (2 new replies) 08/27/2015 on Awesome! +1
User avatar #116 - grandmabetty (08/27/2015) [-]
The trolleys with locks were only £10 more per trolley. So yes we could have had six more trolleys for the £500 extra it cost for locks, but we know less will go missing in a short period of time than they would without locks.

I think they had their old trolleys for about 10 years. I know they initially bought 80 and over that 10 year period they've lost 30, which is ridiculous. And baring in mind, that is with locks on them. So if they didn't have locks, they'd most likely have lost more.
User avatar #117 - jokeface (08/27/2015) [-]
I guess. Glad I'm not in that field of work, that I don't have to make those kinds of decisions.
#414104 - When you post a clever pun but then you realize most of your f…  [+] (4 new replies) 08/27/2015 on Hating - file complaints,... +1
User avatar #414118 - cantstumpthetrump (08/27/2015) [-]
Religion is dead huh?
User avatar #414163 - jokeface (08/27/2015) [-]
Is that a pun as well? If so I guess I've become the very thing I hate.
User avatar #414171 - cantstumpthetrump (08/27/2015) [-]
Ohh no, I meant like the board. Me and you are both oldfags so it was just an inside joke.
User avatar #414172 - jokeface (08/28/2015) [-]
Ohh. I actually haven't been on /religion/ in a while. Not since it became all about shitposting. I've popped in a few times just to check up on things, but I almost never post there anymore.
#68 - Voyeurism is just spying on someone else. I think you mean exh… 08/27/2015 on The future has arrived +14
#67 - Look, I'm all for ******* inanimate objects, but don't … 08/27/2015 on The future has arrived +2
#19 - Is that a real statistic? Because it's one of my favorites. To…  [+] (1 new reply) 08/27/2015 on hp +1
User avatar #20 - ludislavonac (08/27/2015) [-]
I'd agree with the anon, my fav is book 4, it has imo the most dynamic story
#88 - Comment deleted 08/27/2015 on Tumblr Dump 7 0
#87 - Depends if you're restricting the definition of "flavor&q… 08/27/2015 on Tumblr Dump 7 0
#86 - I don't think it really matters which pronouns we use for God … 08/27/2015 on Tumblr Dump 7 +4
#85 - Yo I'd do anything for a new Fireball right now and yes s… 08/27/2015 on Tumblr Dump 7 0
#105 - Recently I was "homeless" for about two and a half w… 08/27/2015 on Awesome! +1
#104 - He means the guy could have detached the front cart from whate… 08/27/2015 on Awesome! 0
#102 - To clarify I mean carts that have locking wheels.  [+] (1 new reply) 08/27/2015 on Awesome! 0
#149 - landcucumber (08/28/2015) [-]
I live in Wyoming, but I've seen them in Colorado too. I know they have them at Safeway and Albertson's. Most people don't know about them, unless for some reason the thing was broken and the cart locked up as you were walking out of the store. That's the only reason I know about them.
they look like this.
#101 - I've never heard of carts that do that. Where do you live?  [+] (2 new replies) 08/27/2015 on Awesome! 0
User avatar #102 - jokeface (08/27/2015) [-]
To clarify I mean carts that have locking wheels.
#149 - landcucumber (08/28/2015) [-]
I live in Wyoming, but I've seen them in Colorado too. I know they have them at Safeway and Albertson's. Most people don't know about them, unless for some reason the thing was broken and the cart locked up as you were walking out of the store. That's the only reason I know about them.
they look like this.
#99 - I've never understood why they do that. They're not doing it f…  [+] (9 new replies) 08/27/2015 on Awesome! 0
User avatar #134 - devilofscience (08/27/2015) [-]
It's to encourage all the fucking ass holes out there to return their carts, instead of leaving it out in the middle of the parking lot, on top of shit, flipped over in a ditch, out in the middle of the freeway, rolling precariously down a hill, etc..., so that when other customers want to use a cart they can actually get a cart, fucking greedy ass shits.
User avatar #124 - fuckoatmeal (08/27/2015) [-]
They do it so people stop being lazy fucks and actually return the cart to where it belongs instead of just leaving it to destroy peoples cars when the wind blows. They know people are so driven by money that they will walk to put the cart back just to get the quarter back.
User avatar #113 - grandmabetty (08/27/2015) [-]
Shopping trolleys aren't cheap, I recently put an order in for 50 brand new trolleys at my store and it's £80 for a flatbed with a custom printed handle and coin lock, £90 for a large steel one... and yes, even with coin locks, they get stolen - and that's one of the reasons we've ordered brand new ones - theft (and also the old ones are worn out). But we can only assume less will go missing if we have coin locks on them.

At the university I go to, there's always shopping trolleys littered around the student village which have been pinched from the nearby Waitrose, and they have no locks on at all.
User avatar #115 - jokeface (08/27/2015) [-]
How much extra are you spending to have the coin locks on them?
User avatar #116 - grandmabetty (08/27/2015) [-]
The trolleys with locks were only £10 more per trolley. So yes we could have had six more trolleys for the £500 extra it cost for locks, but we know less will go missing in a short period of time than they would without locks.

I think they had their old trolleys for about 10 years. I know they initially bought 80 and over that 10 year period they've lost 30, which is ridiculous. And baring in mind, that is with locks on them. So if they didn't have locks, they'd most likely have lost more.
User avatar #117 - jokeface (08/27/2015) [-]
I guess. Glad I'm not in that field of work, that I don't have to make those kinds of decisions.
User avatar #103 - Sewallman (08/27/2015) [-]
There is a homeless guy in the alleyway where I park every night, he has four walmart shopping carts that he broke and bent to make a shelter. He tied blankets around the wires and shit and so he stays warmer inside of there than he would sleeping anywhere else.

The guy's cool, but you can never believe a word that comes out of his mouth. According to him, he's wrote songs for famous singers, he's worked for NASA, he created cyber security (the list goes on..)

But back to the relevant part.. His cart fort is cool and reminds me of what I wanted to do with my life at every sleep over, ever attended.
User avatar #146 - kommandantvideo (08/27/2015) [-]
yeah those people are always batshit crazy. i saw a video of a homeless guy who said he has studied ancient languages and religions, studied the stars, wrote many songs for dozens of different singers... the people are simply delusional.
User avatar #105 - jokeface (08/27/2015) [-]
Recently I was "homeless" for about two and a half weeks. I put that in quotes because it was barely so. I sill had my car and my job, so it was more like camping than actually being homeless. But I've always wondered how I'd fair if I did end up having to actually build my own shelter in the streets. That guy sounds clever and resourceful.
#97 - I live near an Aldi. My mom has shopped there my entire life. … 08/27/2015 on Awesome! 0
#109 - Yea Roger's kinda weird but I've been on the internet long eno… 08/27/2015 on tv show porn 0
#68 - I like how we're all liking things instead of hating them. Thi… 08/26/2015 on tv show porn +2
#67 - >Implying Game of Thrones isn't already half-porn to begin …  [+] (2 new replies) 08/26/2015 on tv show porn 0
User avatar #73 - warrenzthehero (08/26/2015) [-]
That's what bothers you?

THAT is what bothers you about the American Dad one?

Not the atrocity against nature that is Roger, but THAT?
User avatar #109 - jokeface (08/27/2015) [-]
Yea Roger's kinda weird but I've been on the internet long enough that I'm not really bothered by that.
#26 - Do you mean to tell me that PLANES got a ******* sequel?? 08/26/2015 on Facts about PIXAR! +3
#50 - To me the funniest thing about this is the bifurcated sofa. It… 08/26/2015 on Skeleton attack +4
#142 - Well he's a virgin for most of the flick and it only happens w… 08/26/2015 on Spykids 3D 0
#67 - Yea she'll treat her well. I got kicked out because I'm an ass…  [+] (1 new reply) 08/25/2015 on Das Mine 0
User avatar #68 - smaaen (08/25/2015) [-]
Alright. Not gonna butt into your family thing, we all have them. Good to hear about the dog though.

Provided she doesn't leave out a nutella jar for her, it should be fine. Good diet is important though if you want a healthy and long live span for the dog.


Total unique items point value: 2050 / Total items point value: 2050


What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #608 - lulzforalpsplane (04/03/2015) [-]
how are you liking the /religion/ board? Sad sight.
User avatar #609 to #608 - jokeface ONLINE (04/04/2015) [-]
I like that it's back to mostly intelligent posting. I was very active on it before when it was dominated by atheists. Not that I particularly enjoyed that aspect of it, but it was nice that the threads were actually interesting and intellectual. So I'm glad it's back to that.
User avatar #610 to #609 - lulzforalpsplane (04/04/2015) [-]
Yeah I remember.
#582 - cunninglinguist (03/10/2015) [-]
mfw you think my username is brilliant
mfw you think my username is brilliant
User avatar #607 to #582 - jokeface ONLINE (03/10/2015) [-]
The thread ran out so I'm continuing here.

How they treat humans depends on how they get treated by humans. If they're used to a lot of handling and physical contact they can be very playful and friendly. But if you don't play with them often they may not trust you very much. When considering them as pets you have to know ahead of time how often you'll be able to play with them, because if you can't give them a lot of daily attention, you should get two of them so they can play with each other, otherwise they'll get lonely and lethargic.

Of course, if you do decide to get two of them, then you also have to take into account their sexes. Two males have to be kept in separate cages and gradually introduced to each other until they become friendly with each other, because they'll probably fight each other for the alpha role. And obviously a male and a female will eventually breed. The best combination is two females.
User avatar #583 to #582 - jokeface ONLINE (03/10/2015) [-]
See, now I associate your username with a pretty girl making a flirty face, and if you're actually a dude, or underage, then it's gonna be really awkward for both of us.
User avatar #584 to #583 - cunninglinguist (03/10/2015) [-]
Ah, well you're in luck because that's my face. And I'm 22.
User avatar #585 to #584 - jokeface ONLINE (03/10/2015) [-]
That's Laura Mennell's character Janey Slater in Watchmen, and she's 34.
#590 to #585 - cunninglinguist (03/10/2015) [-]
Please excuse me while I cry in a hole.
Please excuse me while I cry in a hole.
User avatar #589 to #585 - cunninglinguist (03/10/2015) [-]
I thought you meant my profile picture, dawg
User avatar #591 to #589 - jokeface ONLINE (03/10/2015) [-]
Wait wut.

I...I didn't even see your profile picture until just now. Lol.
User avatar #592 to #591 - cunninglinguist (03/10/2015) [-]
Forget I ever said anything. I am still on my first cup of coffee. I thought you meant you associated my name with my picture, turns out it was the gif, and now I am BEYOND embarrassed and I want to start over.

User avatar #593 to #592 - jokeface ONLINE (03/10/2015) [-]
#594 to #593 - cunninglinguist (03/10/2015) [-]
Maybe I should just stick to cat pictures/gifs

how's it going
User avatar #595 to #594 - jokeface ONLINE (03/10/2015) [-]
It's going swell, thank you. How are you?
User avatar #596 to #595 - cunninglinguist (03/10/2015) [-]
Well aside from being embarrassed as **** , I'm doing alright.
User avatar #597 to #596 - jokeface ONLINE (03/10/2015) [-]
Well the good news for you is that I have ADD, so my brain has already moved past whatever it was about which you were embarrassed.
User avatar #598 to #597 - cunninglinguist (03/10/2015) [-]
That's wonderful. I have a lot of embarrassing moments and I wish my friends would get over them as quickly as you would have.
User avatar #599 to #598 - jokeface ONLINE (03/10/2015) [-]
It's one of the many perks of ADD, along with heightened creative ability, and an appreciation for smooth jazz.
User avatar #600 to #599 - cunninglinguist (03/10/2015) [-]
Intredasting, tell me ore about yourself.
User avatar #601 to #600 - jokeface ONLINE (03/10/2015) [-]
Well I'm 24, currently enrolled in community college working toward a degree in television production, and in the mean time I make money delivering pizza. My hobbies include writing, yo-yo tricks, playing drums, and knowing a great deal about chinchillas.
User avatar #602 to #601 - cunninglinguist (03/10/2015) [-]
Awesome. I'm 22 (as I mentioned earlier), I live in the Philippines, I got my degree on business management and I'm planning on taking up my masters soon. I used to be a radio DJ, and then I went into real estate for my dad's company but never enjoyed it, so now I'm the franchise officer for a brand called Potato Corner.

Chinchillas are cute, give me a fun fact.
User avatar #603 to #602 - jokeface ONLINE (03/10/2015) [-]
Oh man you're all over the place. I'm actually kind of intimidated.

As for a fun fact, chinchillas can't get wet. Their fur is so thick that if water gets into it, it won't be able to get out, and this can lead to various problems such as hypothermia, or fungal build-up, or even hair loss. The only way they can clean themselves is to roll around in volcanic ash, which coats their fur and absorbs dirt and oils and such. They do this naturally in the wild, and they're so good at it that they have the cleanest, thickest, and softest fur in the animal kingdom (rivaling only the mink in terms of luxuriousness).
User avatar #604 to #603 - cunninglinguist (03/10/2015) [-]
Eh, don't be, I'm not all that. I'm Asian, it comes naturally.

Oh gosh I want to touch one.
User avatar #605 to #604 - jokeface ONLINE (03/10/2015) [-]
They're so unbelievably soft. I owned several of them. They make great pets because they're usually very quiet and produce no odor, and because their fur is so thick, it prevents them from producing dander, which is the cause of animal allergies. So they're hypoallergenic. Which was good for me because I'm allergic to animal dander.
#606 to #605 - cunninglinguist (03/10/2015) [-]
Hwat, sounds like the perfect pet. Are they sweet? Or assholes like cats?

pic related, that is my cat
User avatar #587 to #585 - cunninglinguist (03/10/2015) [-]
User avatar #588 to #587 - cunninglinguist (03/10/2015) [-]
I am not a clever woman
#586 to #585 - cunninglinguist has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #576 - justsomechickyo (02/16/2015) [-]
Hey how are you?! I know it's been a while but I'd really love to talk w/ ya!
User avatar #577 to #576 - jokeface ONLINE (02/18/2015) [-]
Hey Good to hear from you! I'm alright. How have you been?
User avatar #578 to #577 - justsomechickyo (02/18/2015) [-]
Glad you are doing well!! Had a rough couple of days but things are better now So you still going for God?
User avatar #579 to #578 - jokeface ONLINE (02/18/2015) [-]
Very much so. In fact I just went through a pretty stressful period in the last couple months that was made especially difficult because of my faith. But I know God only subjected me to it because it would make me stronger. How about you?
User avatar #580 to #579 - justsomechickyo (02/19/2015) [-]
Well I'm sorry for the stress :/ But I'm so glad to hear that you stuck w/ your faith and are strong as ever! I am too, I feel kinda bad though I actually forgot it was Ash Wednesday today oops! I always say I'm going to use the season to really take a step back from everything and reflect; and to become closer w/ the lord and all that entails.... but sometimes I wonder if I'm actually taking those steps or not....
User avatar #581 to #580 - jokeface ONLINE (02/19/2015) [-]
I'll let you in on a little secret: Rituals are the least important part of following Christ. All that matters is that you know Him, and love Him, and live a life according to His calling. As long as you do that, you don't have to worry about not being good enough.

Here, give this a quick skim, I think it'll help you: www.alanknox.net/2010/06/jesus-cares-more-about-people-than-rituals/
#573 to #572 - jokeface ONLINE (09/02/2014) [-]
A shiny!

I shall cherish this gift forever.
#574 to #573 - tridaak (09/02/2014) [-]
User avatar #575 to #574 - jokeface ONLINE (09/02/2014) [-]
User avatar #552 - justsomechickyo (06/13/2014) [-]
yo! soooo umm I know this is really random, but what are some good verus for like hope and paitence? idk it's a long story but i'm way stressed and I know you usually have some pretty insightful ideas......thanks!
User avatar #553 to #552 - jokeface ONLINE (06/13/2014) [-]
"Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him." - James 1:12

"but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." - Isaiah 40:31

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ." - II Corinthians 1:3-5

"For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope." - Romans 15:4

"And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you." - I Peter 5:10
User avatar #554 to #553 - jokeface ONLINE (06/13/2014) [-]
I could find more if you want me to.
User avatar #555 to #554 - justsomechickyo (06/14/2014) [-]
Naw this is great! Thanks so much!
User avatar #556 to #555 - jokeface ONLINE (06/14/2014) [-]
No problem, happy to be of assistance. May I ask what's troubling you, that you found yourself needing reassurance?
User avatar #557 to #556 - justsomechickyo (06/14/2014) [-]
Well my bf went to jail yesterday and I'm really bummed out about it......I waited for him while he was in prison for a long time and he's only out for r a moth then this happened......now idk wat will happen w/ him or us
User avatar #558 to #557 - jokeface ONLINE (06/14/2014) [-]
Damn. That's rough. I'm sorry that happened, and I'll certainly pray for both of you. You know, it's my firm belief that God doesn't allow bad things to happen in the world without opening doors for good things to come from them. It's definite;y distressing that this happened, but at the same time, think of it as an opportunity to grow in your strength and faithfulness. When you put your trust in Christ, He provides comfort, and He will stand by you in times of great pain. And the pain will pass. It, like everything else on Earth, is finite. But the love and grace of God is eternal. Let Him guide you through this trial, and I guarantee you'll come out stronger on the other side.
User avatar #559 to #558 - justsomechickyo (06/14/2014) [-]
Thank you so much! Ya I know it will pass and I'm trying to stay strong but it's tough......I should really be focused on myself right now anyways.....I'm trying to get sober and that's enough of a challenge in itself. I know God is here for me and I will get through this all w/ him by my side
User avatar #560 to #559 - jokeface ONLINE (06/14/2014) [-]
Here, this song might bring you some comfort/support:

Sidewalk Prophets - "The Words I Would Say" with Lyrics
User avatar #550 - thebritishguy (02/02/2014) [-]
Do you know any good theist youtubers?
User avatar #561 to #550 - jokeface ONLINE (07/17/2014) [-]
Update: I've been on Youtube a lot more than I used to be and I know a few more of the big names on there now. John Green is one of my favorites, and he's a Christian. But he's very soft-spoken about it and keeps his videos very impartial. Here's one of the only videos where he talks about religion:

User avatar #563 to #561 - thebritishguy (07/18/2014) [-]
I met this born again rapper at college, he's not a bad rapper, although he rejects reason in favour of faith by his own volition.
User avatar #565 to #563 - jokeface ONLINE (07/19/2014) [-]
What sort of reason does he reject?
User avatar #567 to #565 - thebritishguy (07/19/2014) [-]
Just the principles in philosophy like logic, he says that if people study philosophy, science and reason then they will turn away from God. So you must fear reason and logic as God is illogical and unreasonable. It's strange how much I agreed with him. I was dumbfounded.
User avatar #569 to #567 - jokeface ONLINE (07/19/2014) [-]
Yea see, that's where I draw the line. I don't believe that reason and faith automatically have to oppose each other. I believe that sometimes they do, but I don't think it's always the case. As I've said before, most science I find very reliable and even necessary to human existence. Without science we wouldn't have most medicines and technology that allows us to live our everyday lives. The Christians who reject all science give us a bad name. They don't realize that they are the product of science. Maybe not physiologically, but psychologically, they grew up in a world that was shaped by it. They depend on it even without realizing it.
User avatar #570 to #569 - thebritishguy (07/19/2014) [-]
I just held up my phone and said
"This was built on the basis of scientific principles and theories, if science has no value and is innacurate, if the theories are just guesses and the scientists were deluded, it should not work"
Then I turned it on, at that point though he just caved in and said he was not interested in debating and whatever I say will not change his mind, so there was no point in it.

I think it's because a lot of people think it is either science or God when this is of course not the case. I consider faith to be apart from reason though because it is elementary that what can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence.
User avatar #571 to #570 - jokeface ONLINE (07/19/2014) [-]
And you have every right to feel that way. I completely understand that mindset.
User avatar #562 to #561 - thebritishguy (07/18/2014) [-]
He's incredibly vague, he never really answered the question
User avatar #564 to #562 - jokeface ONLINE (07/19/2014) [-]
Agreed, but he does that intentionally. As he said, the way people handle religion on the internet is very sloppy, and my guess is he feels that if he expressed his religious views outwardly, he would appear narrow-minded and bigoted, and he is very much NOT that. In fact, I've only ever heard him admit to being a Christian once, maybe twice, in all of his videos that I've seen. He doesn't ever say anything preachy, ever, and he doesn't let his faith define his character. So really, it wouldn't matter what his beliefs were, he'd still be the same person.
User avatar #566 to #564 - thebritishguy (07/19/2014) [-]
I'll check out more of his videos tommorow. It doesn't seem like he is taking a cut throat rationalist aproach though but more of an emotional appeal.
User avatar #568 to #566 - jokeface ONLINE (07/19/2014) [-]
That's what I thought too, and I don't like when people do that, but I understand why they do it. And considering that so many of his videos are educational, and the fact that he and his brother also host a second channel specifically for academic learning (called CrashCourse in case you're interested), it makes sense that he's trying to reach as many people as possible, and quite frankly, he doesn't actually need to have a particular religious stance in order to be that kind of YouTuber.
User avatar #551 to #550 - jokeface ONLINE (02/03/2014) [-]
I don't really know any Youtubers, let alone theist ones. The only one I really like is TomSka, and I don't know what he believes.
User avatar #548 - thebritishguy (01/04/2014) [-]
I don't know what this means
"'He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me scatters. Therefore I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. And whoever says a word against the Son of man will be forgiven; but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come" (Matthew 12:22-32).

So what actually is this unforgivable sin please?
#546 - snood (12/20/2013) [-]
Hey i just read a lot of your comments about Christianity. You're one of the good ones on here, at least from what i saw. Keep it up.
User avatar #547 to #546 - jokeface ONLINE (12/20/2013) [-]
Thank you. I try to be good.
#541 - thebritishguy (07/22/2013) [-]
What do you think about Zimmerman? I think he was innocent, he just pulled a family out of a burning SUV!
User avatar #542 to #541 - jokeface ONLINE (07/22/2013) [-]
I have mixed feelings about Zimmerman. On the one hand I don't support killing people, even in self defense. But on the other hand, I believe his testimony and understand why he shot the kid. If it had been me, and I was being attacked, I might have shot him, but not fatally. I would have tried to shoot his leg or something to just injure him so that I could gain control of the situation. But ultimately, from a legal standpoint and not a religious one, I consider him innocent.
#543 to #542 - thebritishguy (07/23/2013) [-]
From what the evidence shows I would have shot him but many people doubt the evidence. The way the media portrayed him was really silly I thought, he had several reasons why he was suspicious of Trayvon, it was raining and he was wandering around leisurely staring at houses, there were recent break ins in the area and the particular house Treyvon was looking at had been left unlocked on previous occasions. Yet the media insists that race is the sole reason Zimmerman not only was suspicious of Trayvon, but even why he shot him.
User avatar #544 to #543 - jokeface ONLINE (07/23/2013) [-]
Yea I really don't think race had anything to do with it.
#537 - anon (06/09/2013) [-]
is this you? I assume you made that slinky video so therefore this guy would have to be you
User avatar #538 to #537 - jokeface ONLINE (06/09/2013) [-]
I didn't make the slinky video, I just found it and thought it was cool. And no, that's not me. Number one I don't have access to giant shellfish, and number two I wouldn't be caught dead without my trilby hat.
User avatar #535 - josieabby (04/13/2013) [-]
I just wanted you to know that your "Thrift Shop" thread with taxation was one of the most epic things I've ever seen. I put the song on so I could sing your lyrics over it. I'm gonna have a perma-grin for at least a week!
User avatar #536 to #535 - jokeface ONLINE (04/13/2013) [-]
Haha, thank you. I'm glad you liked it. I just wish we could have done the entire song. But I ran out of ideas lol.
#502 - thebritishguy (03/24/2013) [-]
what do you think about atheist church's? there's one in England they just give science lectures, sing pop songs and comedians come on. I'd love to go
User avatar #503 to #502 - jokeface ONLINE (03/24/2013) [-]
Sounds awesome. Of course, I wouldn't agree with them denouncing the belief in God, but other than that it sounds like it'd be fun. Why do they call it a church though?
User avatar #504 to #503 - thebritishguy (03/24/2013) [-]
I think it is just that there aren't really any other names for that sort of thing
The word church originally just meant a meeting place but I get what you mean
#496 - necessary **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #497 to #496 - jokeface ONLINE (03/24/2013) [-]
She was supposed to come up a few weeks ago but she never did. And I finally got fed up with not being able to see her, and so I put our relationship on hold until she comes up here. I'd go down to see her myself but I live on my own now and have a bunch of expenses that prevent me from being able to.
#498 to #497 - necessary **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #499 to #498 - jokeface ONLINE (03/24/2013) [-]
#473 - thebritishguy (03/17/2013) [-]
Are you worried about North Korea?
User avatar #479 to #473 - jingleforth (03/18/2013) [-]
Lmao, north korea is not a threat.
User avatar #482 to #479 - thebritishguy (03/18/2013) [-]
well China and Russia are and they have relations also the citizens of North Korea will be screwed
User avatar #483 to #482 - jingleforth (03/18/2013) [-]
Yes they do, but I've told you. If north korea attacks us, they lose support, and if such an event happened. They'd turn into a nuclear crater.
User avatar #484 to #483 - thebritishguy (03/18/2013) [-]
I suppose, it's still sad for all the poor North Koreans
User avatar #485 to #484 - jingleforth (03/18/2013) [-]
Oh well.

User avatar #474 to #473 - jokeface ONLINE (03/17/2013) [-]
Define "worried".
#475 to #474 - thebritishguy (03/17/2013) [-]
uuum like scared that world war 3 will begin or the civilians of North Korea will be nuked like Hiroshima , they have connections with Russia and China and have the fourth biggest military, Kim Jong Un told his troops to prepare for war and they always do nuclear weapon testing. On the other hand South Korea thinks they are just trying to get attention and trying to look big.
User avatar #476 to #475 - jokeface ONLINE (03/17/2013) [-]
And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not alarmed, for this must take place, but the end is not yet. For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and there will be famines and earthquakes in various places. - Matthew 24:6-7

I'm a little nervous of how it might affect people on a personal level, yes. But I know it's coming and I've accepted that fact, because as Jesus said, the end is not yet.
User avatar #480 to #476 - jingleforth (03/18/2013) [-]
Lmao, taking the bible seriously.

Gee, Jaime, you get into unusual stuff.
User avatar #486 to #480 - jokeface ONLINE (03/18/2013) [-]
I'm afraid I don't get that reference.
User avatar #487 to #486 - jingleforth (03/18/2013) [-]
You're Christian/Catholic/Whatever.

Laughable. Possibly..
User avatar #489 to #487 - jokeface ONLINE (03/18/2013) [-]
Why is it laughable? Or, to be more specific, why am I more laughable than other Christians?
User avatar #490 to #489 - jingleforth (03/18/2013) [-]
I find all Christians laughable on an equal level.

However, evolutionary theists have a special place in my colon.
User avatar #491 to #490 - jokeface ONLINE (03/18/2013) [-]
And why is that?
User avatar #492 to #491 - jingleforth (03/18/2013) [-]
They're naturally trained to ******** their way through an argument.

No matter what you say, it somehow fits in with science, or it's metaphorical, just...something to at the very least neutralize the argument given to them.
User avatar #477 to #476 - thebritishguy (03/17/2013) [-]
hmmm this supports my psycho analysis of the God delusion.
"When people make decisions they use their Ego to decide what to do, the ego is where morality comes from and is sometimes called the "soul" according to Frued. When people base their morality and decisions based on what they think a God says the God becomes the ego. This is supported by the fact people ignore/highlight certain verses and lessons if they agree/disagree with them rather than getting a true perspective of the characters to keep the character as their ego rather than having to separate God from ego. It is also supported by people using words like "reject" and why religious people are so protective of their Gods and are personally insulted when people criticise their Gods. Also the emotions they feel when some theists talk to atheists are similar to those of rejection, when an atheist doesn't believe in God they are not rejecting the proposed God and yet they use that word, it seems to me that they use the word reject because they feel they are being rejected"
User avatar #478 to #477 - jokeface ONLINE (03/18/2013) [-]
Quite insightful. However allow me to make a few counterarguments.

From the perspective of someone who believes God exists as described in the Bible, consider that such a being would indeed have dominion over morality and, yes, even the ego of those who choose to submit to Him. That being said, can you really blame us for it?

As for your point about verses, understand that I don't ignore any of the Bible. At most, I don't apply the laws that Jesus and Paul said are no longer relevant. It's like studying slavery. We don't have slaves anymore, but that doesn't stop us from learning about the slavery that existed years and years ago. In the same way, some parts of the Bible, such as Mosaic Law, are now obsolete, but that doesn't stop us from learning about it.

Lastly, I don't think that's entirely why theists react the way they do to atheists. Because that would imply that theists view atheists as the "popular kids" and they feel excluded from them. Such is not the case. I mean, that might be said for some people, but speaking for myself and many others, being a theist among atheists is more like being in a special club with amazing benefits, and you can invite as many people as you want, but nobody else wants to join. And it hurts, yes, but not because we feel rejected; Rather, we're simply disappointed that no one else wants to share in our joy.
#481 to #478 - thebritishguy (03/18/2013) [-]
so then why would God make the morality so different? all of our morals are different and change over time, if I was born in the 60's I would probably have different morals than I do now, if I was born in Afghanistan I would have different morals, therefore morality must be something we learn to an extent (we all share common morals like murder, lying and stealing is wrong) rather than God given and also this would intrude on free will. When you think of God I'm sure you don't think about when he ordered the deaths of millions of people or the time he sent bears to kill children for making fun of a bald guy but you pay attention to all the nice verses or like how you ignore the part in the bible were Jesus said to give away all your money or that for some odd reason God dislikes ordinary things that you probably do every day.
I'm not implying theists desperately want atheists to like them I'm saying that when I say "God is a dictator" people start saying I personally attacked them when I didn't
User avatar #488 to #481 - jokeface ONLINE (03/18/2013) [-]
What you say about common morals is true, and those are the ones which I believe God instills in us. But it's not an intrusion on free will because the morality God gives us is just instinct, and we have the freedom to either give in or resist that instinct. And I do think about everything in the Bible (or at least, everything I can remember, since I haven't been able to memorize all of it). I know God did some crazy **** in the past, but that doesn't take away from the importance of His words now. We don't ignore any of it. Or at least, the Christians I know don't ignore any of it. I'm sure there are some who do but I don't condone it. God gave us the entire Bible so that we could learn from the entire Bible.
User avatar #493 to #488 - thebritishguy (03/18/2013) [-]
I would have thought your morals would have come from the bible as you don't think sex before marriage is good for instance. Well I have never heard about all the horrible and contradictory things in the bible at Sunday school or in church I only heard about the nice (well they cartooned it to make it seem nice) stuff and how God was great. Never heard about the rape, incest, slavery, stoning, homophobia, sexism etc. until I became and atheist. do you know how the bible was written?
User avatar #494 to #493 - jokeface ONLINE (03/18/2013) [-]
Some of it. I know the first five books (called the Pentateuch) were written by Moses. I don't remember who write the rest of the Old Testament. The Four Gospels were written by their namesakes: Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John the Apostle. Acts was written by Luke, and Paul wrote the 21 Epistles. And Revelation was written by John the Apostle. It was completed almost 150 years after Jesus' death (about AD 150).
User avatar #495 to #494 - thebritishguy (03/18/2013) [-]
They are the scriptures. The first Christians needed a book to read to their people so they all met up and have a long conversation about which books to add and which ones to exclude based on what they wanted to teach. The first Christians already burnt a few scriptures which are amusing (there was one were Jesus tamed dragons) but they complied them together and then gave them to really good authors to edit so that they all fit together. there's a documentary on it
User avatar #463 - ragnarfag (03/14/2013) [-]
It seems Thebritishguy is quite intrusive on your profil, would you consider as him a friend or as more of a rivle?
User avatar #465 to #463 - jokeface ONLINE (03/15/2013) [-]
He is what I call a "lost one". I feel no enmity toward him, but rather sadness at his adamant stance against the faith. However, he seems intelligent and his debate style is intellectually stimulating, so I imagine he would be fun to talk to about other issues, even if we disagree on those as well.
#464 to #463 - anon (03/15/2013) [-]
thebritishguy is a troll
User avatar #466 to #464 - jokeface ONLINE (03/15/2013) [-]
Why would an anon come to my page? I suspect you are Thebritishguy, having been summoned by the calling of your name, and you replied to it as an anon. If that is the case, your "trolling" efforts are uninspiring.
User avatar #468 to #466 - thebritishguy (03/15/2013) [-]
I'm not sure how to prove that he is not me but...he's not me
#469 to #468 - anon (03/15/2013) [-]
what are you talking about? you're definitely me
User avatar #470 to #469 - thebritishguy (03/15/2013) [-]
if you were me why would you reply to my comment, unless it was me and this was a double bluff, but if it was a double bluff I would not mention it is a double bluff because I'd want you to fall for it
#471 to #470 - anon (03/16/2013) [-]
lol jk. it really is me, thebritishguy. i'd like to admit that i'm only an atheist because i was molested
User avatar #472 to #471 - thebritishguy (03/16/2013) [-]
#467 to #466 - anon (03/15/2013) [-]
man, you got me all figured out...
User avatar #427 - thebritishguy (03/11/2013) [-]
I am more moral than God, I believe no one deserves to be burnt alive for eternity, slavery is wrong, we should all be treated equal, witches don't...wait witches don't even exist, I'm not homophobic , I am against genocide, I don't demand constant worship, I don't threaten people so they agree with me. Surely you are also more moral than God?
User avatar #532 to #427 - jokeface ONLINE (03/25/2013) [-]
To say God is anything less than perfect is to say that He doesn't meet the "proper" standards of decency. And if that's the case, then I have to ask, who has set the proper standards? Certainly no human. We're all flawed. So who are we to decide what's right or wrong? God is without flaw because there is no one to set standards for Him. Therefore only He can set standards, and if He is the standard, then anyone who doesn't match Him is wrong. Ergo, He is perfect.
#533 to #532 - thebritishguy (03/25/2013) [-]
God is perfect?
User avatar #534 to #533 - jokeface ONLINE (03/25/2013) [-]
God is above the laws He sets for humanity. He is not bound to follow them, and even so, they can't really be applied to His actions for certain reasons.

Godly wrath is not the same as the sinful wrath, because He has every right to bring judgment upon us. As I said, He's perfect, so his wrath is justified, whereas ours is hypocritical.

The reason He doesn't want us to worship other gods is because He knows they are not real and therefore our worship of them is wasteful, as well as disrespectful to Him, the one true God whom we should be worshiping.

God was never idle, except for on the last day of the week of Creation, and it wasn't because He was tired or lazy, it was because He was setting a model for all of humanity to live by.

People do not hunger because God deprives them, but because we do. As agents of Christ we are called to help our fellow man, and if people starve because we fail to feed them, that's on us, not God. It's one of the duties we accepted when we chose to fall away from Him.

Once again, being perfect, He has every right to advertise Himself as such and demand people to worship. When He condemns humans for being prideful it's because we don't have anything to be proud of by His standards. Maybe by our own, but since we're not the standard, our own self-satisfaction doesn't count as praise-worthy.

God commands us to give to the poor and needy, not to Him. That is not greed.

He is not lustful, either. Lust would mean He gets sexually aroused, which He doesn't. I think whoever made this list just got to lust and couldn't think of anything so they just threw that one in their without much thought.
User avatar #430 to #427 - jokeface ONLINE (03/12/2013) [-]
God never condoned slavery, "witches" in the Bible are referring to people like Wiccans and others who practice magic (that is, magic that is taken seriously, not magic tricks), God doesn't fear anyone or anything so He cannot be homophobic, and frankly it doesn't matter what your personal opinions are because just because you disagree doesn't make you right. God's word is infallible and His doctrines are perfect. No human can ever be more moral than God. Hell, no human can ever be as moral as God.
#431 to #430 - thebritishguy (03/12/2013) [-]
The bible never says anything about it not being real which is kind of ******* important seeing as millions of innocent people were killed because they were "witches". You know that homophobic doesn't mean scared lol it means you hate gay people. If you think it is perfect then go burn a witch! oh no wait you aren't going to do that you are going to ignore it like all the rest of the bible, if you thought it was perfect you would live by it, you would sell your computer and give the money to charity like Jesus said.
User avatar #539 to #431 - teoberry (07/11/2013) [-]

Phobic - one who has a fear of something (adjc. of phobia)

Phobia - a fear of something

Jeez British, lrn2english
User avatar #540 to #539 - thebritishguy (07/11/2013) [-]
noun [C usually plural] (WOOD) (US also fagot)
/ˈfæɡ.ət/ old-fashioned
› sticks of wood, tied together and used as fuel for a fire

hmmm I guess when people say faggot on the internet they are talking about bundles of sticks.
You know as well as I do that homophobes aren't simply terryfied of gay people, it also means if they have contempt towards homosexuals, particularly in this culture.
User avatar #432 to #431 - jokeface ONLINE (03/12/2013) [-]
Obviously it can't be talking about real witches since humans can't do magic unless God gives them powers, and the only people He gave powers to were the Disciples.

And God doesn't hate gay people, He loves everyone.

And we're not ignoring the Bible, in fact, paying closer attention to it is exactly why we don't follow Mosaic Law. Because Jesus and Paul both clarified that it wasn't required after the Crucifixion.
User avatar #433 to #432 - thebritishguy (03/12/2013) [-]
Jesus also said to sell everything and give it to the poor and a rich man can't get into heaven. the question is whether God is a moral person, he said homosexual acts are an abomination and you should kill them. If the writers of the bible didn't believe in witches why the **** didn't they say they didn't exist and it wasn't real? instead they had loads of rules on witchcraft, it's not like there was a word limit. don't be the interpreter
User avatar #458 to #433 - jokeface ONLINE (03/13/2013) [-]
God didn't adopt the attitudes of men, men adopted the attitudes of God.

And it doesn't matter if God is benevolent or not, because it doesn't change the way the system works. We worship Jesus so we can go to heaven, or else we go to hell. That's a fact, regardless of whether or not God appeals to your personal preferences.

And yes, I know you don't believe in Him anyway, but for the sake of argument, let's say God revealed Himself to everyone, to the point where He could not be denied by anyone, and He confirmed to us that everything in the Bible is an accurate depiction of both Him and the afterlife. Are you going to sit there and tell me that you would accept eternity in hell just because God doesn't base all His decisions around what you think they should be?
User avatar #461 to #458 - thebritishguy (03/13/2013) [-]
******** , guys had those attitudes before the bible was written, your God is similar to many other Gods in mythology, if God revealed himslef I would worship him out of blind fear I guess but that's not going to happen
User avatar #462 to #461 - jokeface ONLINE (03/14/2013) [-]
I'm sure they did have those attitudes before the Bible was written, but what I'm saying is, the authors that wrote those things in the Bible only wrote them because God told them to. It doesn't matter what their personal feelings were, even if they agreed with them. That wasn't their motive. And if you admit that you would worship God out of blind fear then how can you judge us for doing the same?
User avatar #500 to #462 - thebritishguy (03/24/2013) [-]
I wouldn't say it was blind fear why Christians worship God, but there is barely any evidence for God. What I'm saying is do you think it's a coincidence that a benevolent and just God had the same attitudes as the homophobic slave owners of thousands of years ago? If he is real then those homophobic slave owners were perfect and should carry on ******* slaves. However it is really obvious that it was those people who wrote the book so they could justify having sex and beating their slaves among other things
User avatar #505 to #500 - jokeface ONLINE (03/24/2013) [-]
God never said we should have slaves, and neither did the Bible. The most we're told about slaves is that if you are a slave, you should be kind and obedient to your master, because violent rebellion would be sinful. That's a commandment for the slave, not the slave owner.
#506 to #505 - thebritishguy (03/24/2013) [-]
just ignore the Old Testament why don't you
When a man strikes his male or female slave with a rod so hard that the slave dies under his hand, he shall be punished. If, however, the slave survives for a day or two, he is not to be punished, since the slave is his own property. (Exodus 21:20-21 NAB)
I would argue religion is slavery as shown in this picture
User avatar #507 to #506 - jokeface ONLINE (03/24/2013) [-]
Mosaic Law only applied to specific groups of Israelites at the time they were given. They became overruled when Jesus died.

And that picture is beautiful. I'm not even kidding. I'm inspired by it.
User avatar #508 to #507 - thebritishguy (03/25/2013) [-]
stock·holm syn·drome
Feelings of trust or affection felt in many cases of kidnapping or hostage-taking by a victim toward a captor.
regardless of whether you follow it or not it is written in the bible and supposedly said by your God, my point still stands. Also the New Testament never says that slavery is wrong it says slaves should be good so it is on the side of the slave masters
User avatar #509 to #508 - jokeface ONLINE (03/25/2013) [-]
Yea, there's a lot of names that make it sound bad, but the fact is that we're perfectly adjusted and functional, so there's nothing wrong with having faith. Submission to God has no negative impacts on a person's life. All it does is ensure our place in heaven after we die.
User avatar #511 to #509 - thebritishguy (03/25/2013) [-]
it had a bad impact on my life, I used to cry because I thought millions of people will be or are burning in hell, I find it quite bizarre that no body else seems to care. I used to feel guilty for doing normal things like fapping. Stockholm syndrome originated when hostages defended their captor. Their reasoning was that he was good because he didn't kill or beat them and they loved him because he didn't abuse them physically, this is very similar to religion.
User avatar #515 to #511 - jokeface ONLINE (03/25/2013) [-]
I don't know what you mean by "nobody else seems to care." As Christians we care a great deal about the dangers of hell and naturally we aim to save as many people as possible from it. As for fapping, the Bible doesn't actually say anything about it. A lot of people like to reference some quote about it being better for your seed to fall into the belly of a whore than on the ground, but that's never mentioned in the Bible. As for the Stockholm Syndrome, I understand the connection your making, but the difference is that in that situation the kidnapper has done something bad by kidnapping the person. God's done nothing wrong to us. He's only done good and perfect things. He's not a villain, He's a hero.
#516 to #515 - thebritishguy (03/25/2013) [-]
did you just skip the entire old testament? just the simple fact that you believe he will burn me alive for eternity should be enough to say he is a cunt Jesus ******* Christ
User avatar #521 to #516 - jokeface ONLINE (03/25/2013) [-]
Why does that make Him a cunt? He's a just God. Everything He does is perfect. All human beings deserve to burn for eternity because we all have wickedness in our hearts. But He has offered us salvation in spite of that, and that makes Him benevolent.
#529 to #521 - thebritishguy (03/25/2013) [-]
so when I burn alive it is justice? you ass hole! you need to get therapy for your severe Stockholm syndrome. It is like Jesus is your abusive boyfriend and he has told you that you are a piece of **** and worthless and disgusting but if you love him you are good. It is the same tactics abusive partners use to manipulate and control people
User avatar #530 to #529 - jokeface ONLINE (03/25/2013) [-]
You keep saying that, but I don't get what you think I should do about it. How is it helpful for you to inform me of this similarity?
User avatar #531 to #530 - thebritishguy (03/25/2013) [-]
I just want you to realise common tactics religions use to control people and that your God isn't a cool dude he is a controlling dictator. come on man if someone sends people to burn and be tortured for eternity and you think they're perfect something is wrong with you
User avatar #510 to #509 - jingleforth (03/25/2013) [-]
"There's nothing wrong with faith."

Sure, but it goes against the scientific nature of humans.

Our society exists on the structure of scientific discoveries, which is the exact opposite of faith. Faith is "idunoo lol, but i believe in it" while science takes a more reasonable approach forming extremely good hypothesis', testing them, making sure everything fits right.

I'm not saying your belief is completely wrong, I'm just saying it has absolutely no value to society in our era..
User avatar #523 to #510 - jokeface ONLINE (03/25/2013) [-]
I'm not saying the Bible doesn't have graphic and frightening things in it, because it does. I'm saying that the things we're supposed to be doing (covered thoroughly in the New Testament) are all good. Most of the violence and objectionable stuff is in the Old Testament, but we're not supposed to be doing that stuff.
User avatar #524 to #523 - jingleforth (03/25/2013) [-]
The new testament is still quite graphic, not to mention God in the old testament was a pretty huge dick, as well. He was extremely EXTREMELY malevolent then.
User avatar #525 to #524 - jokeface ONLINE (03/25/2013) [-]
No, He was extremely just back then.
User avatar #526 to #525 - jingleforth (03/25/2013) [-]
You're either a troll, or a really moronic human. Guessing both.
User avatar #527 to #526 - jokeface ONLINE (03/25/2013) [-]
Neither. God gave us very simple commandments, and we continually choose to disobey Him. Why would we deserve His love or grace? We don't. It's a gift. The most amazing gift we could ever hope for. That makes Him benevolent.
User avatar #528 to #527 - jingleforth (03/25/2013) [-]
User avatar #512 to #510 - jokeface ONLINE (03/25/2013) [-]
I didn't say it was in line with scientific nature, I just said it only has positive consequences.
User avatar #513 to #512 - jingleforth (03/25/2013) [-]
Considering I was never truly apart of this conversation...What positive aspects other than some sort of denialistic stuff?
User avatar #514 to #513 - jokeface ONLINE (03/25/2013) [-]
It grants us access to heaven, which gives us hope and peace of mind until we die. Also the Bible is full of good morals and lessons on how to be a better person.
User avatar #517 to #514 - jingleforth (03/25/2013) [-]
1. To a place that you don't know exists, okay..
2. I said without denialsm..
3. lol, no.
User avatar #520 to #517 - jokeface ONLINE (03/25/2013) [-]
1. I trust the testimonials of all the people who claim to have seen heaven when they had near-death experiences.
2. What denialism? I'm not denying anything.
3. No what? What are you referring to?
User avatar #522 to #520 - jingleforth (03/25/2013) [-]
1. Near-death experiences have easily been explained, not to mention people in those times had no scientific knowledge. That's why the Greeks thought earthquakes were caused by a guy shaking his head..
2. Not explaining, too much trouble.
3. The bible has tons of immoral stuff in it. Now, you can easily ******** your way through it and ignore the fact it's got a ton of disgusting stuff in it and claim all it's goodness even though I could ******* do it to just about any piece of literature..
#459 to #458 - say (03/13/2013) [-]
Imma christian, and I say just be a good person and serve your brothers (be a nice guy) whenever you have the option to be a dick instead, do what's right and you're good.

Also you gotta remember, the book was written by a bunch of old guys 2000+ years ago. they were wise, very, very, wise, but they lived in a time period where certain things that should be acceptable today weren't back then due to man made culture and beliefs, not god based, like being gay.
#501 to #459 - thebritishguy (03/24/2013) [-]
but why did your God agree with the people who wrote the book?
#545 to #501 - say (09/04/2013) [-]
who ever said he did?
User avatar #460 to #459 - jokeface ONLINE (03/13/2013) [-]
I agree with loving your brother and refraining from being a dick, yes. That's something Jesus said was very important. But He said loving Him was just as important, if not more so.

And also, remember that those men were directly inspired by God. He put the words in their hearts and commanded them to write them down. Aside form the outdated Mosaic Law, there weren't really any commandments that lost their relevance. The only one I can think of is the one about women teaching. I researched that one and yes that one was relevant to both the current time period as well as the current place Paul was was speaking to. For reference, I invite you to go to this link:
...and Ctrl+F the phrase: "Scripture is Finally Explained". Those couple paragraphs give a very clear and insightful meaning of the verse.
User avatar #434 to #433 - jokeface ONLINE (03/12/2013) [-]
Jesus told one man to sell everything he had to follow Him. He wasn't saying every human should sell everything they own. And nowhere in the Bible are we commanded to kill homosexuals. All it says is that they shall be put to death. It doesn't say we are the ones who should put them to death. It means God will kill their souls. And we know this is the case because Jesus said not to kill anyone, and killing the gays would contradict this. So death of the spirit is the only possible way to interpret it.
User avatar #435 to #434 - thebritishguy (03/12/2013) [-]
yes, killing the gays contradicts it, there are loads of contradictions in the bible, it says to kill loads of different people, I think we have had this conversation before it never says anything about the soul your just making **** up it also says that their blood shall be upon them but if God was taking their soul there would be no blood. He said a rich man won't enter heaven and he says on a number of occasions to sell your stuff and give to the poor, did you watch the video?
User avatar #437 to #435 - jokeface ONLINE (03/12/2013) [-]
Okay, I watched it. I'll concede to the thing about selling your possessions, but I still don't think He meant literally. Remember when He went into the temple and got angry at the people who were buying and selling there, and He started flipping tables and **** ? I think if He really wanted us to literally sell all our possessions, then He would be flipping tables every place He went. He'd always be scrutinizing people for owning things. No, what I think He means is to not let the possessions become more important than your loyalty to Him. That is, don't sell them from your ownership, but rather sell them from your heart. Let go of them spiritually, so that they don't prevent you from following Him.

The other part of the video I'll address is the thing about abolishing the old laws. Let me break it down for you:

Jesus said "I have not come to abolish [the old laws] but to fulfill them." What He means is that His arrival on Earth does not cancel or nullify the laws. They're still in place even though He has arrived, and because he is the Son of God, only He can fulfill them, because man is imperfect and can never fulfill the law. However, He goes on to say that nothing about the laws will change "until all is accomplished." What do you think He's referring to? I'll give you a hint: What did He come to Earth to do besides fulfill the law? He came to die. And right before He breathed His last breath, His last words were: "It is finished." That was it. That was Him declaring that the old law was obsolete and the new law would begin.

Then later in Galatians, the Apostle Paul write about how violation of the law no longer condemns us because Christ died to sanctify us in spite of sin: "[We] know that a person is not justified by the works of the law, but by faith in Jesus Christ. So we, too, have put our faith in Christ Jesus that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the law, because by the works of the law no one will be justified...I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!"
User avatar #438 to #437 - thebritishguy (03/12/2013) [-]
but God still told people to commit mass genocides and kill loads of innocent people, he's a cunt
User avatar #439 to #438 - jokeface ONLINE (03/12/2013) [-]
I really don't care what He said to do in the Old Testament. We don't worship Him because we agree with Him. We worship Him because He is the only one who can save us from hell. And that's infinitely more important than anything that happens on Earth.
User avatar #441 to #439 - thebritishguy (03/12/2013) [-]
wouldn't you go to hell just for saying/thinking that? the thought police are on you now
User avatar #442 to #441 - jokeface ONLINE (03/12/2013) [-]
No, because that's exactly what Jesus told us to think. Every time He told us to have faith in Him, He said it was because only through Him would we enter heaven.
User avatar #443 to #442 - thebritishguy (03/12/2013) [-]
he didn't say "ignore My Dad he's a dick" though
User avatar #444 to #443 - jokeface ONLINE (03/12/2013) [-]
No, but He did say that we weren't bound by the laws His dad had previously set.
#445 to #444 - thebritishguy (03/12/2013) [-]
this reminds me of this, the way I see it the Christians wanted to separate themselves from the Jews so that's why they had Jesus saying these things, you still believe Gid is an asshole though right?
User avatar #446 to #445 - jokeface ONLINE (03/12/2013) [-]
I never believed God was an asshole. And the Christians didn't want to separate themselves from the Jews. The first Christians were Jews themselves. They just wanted everyone to worship Jesus with them. Read Galatians 2. It sheds some light on that issue.
User avatar #448 to #446 - thebritishguy (03/12/2013) [-]
most Jews don't believe Jesus was a prophet also I think it was like 98% of jews just thought he was a hippie
User avatar #450 to #448 - jokeface ONLINE (03/12/2013) [-]
I know that Jews and Christians are very different now, but I'm saying when Christianity first began, that wasn't as much the case. Again, the first Christians were Jews.
User avatar #452 to #450 - thebritishguy (03/12/2013) [-]
I saw a documentary about it, I think they wanted to make it clear that they were different from the Jews so that's why they had certain elements, don't you think it's a coincidence that your God had the same attitudes towards thing like homosexuality and women as the people who wrote the bible?
User avatar #454 to #452 - jokeface ONLINE (03/12/2013) [-]
I don't understand. Why would it be a coincidence?
User avatar #455 to #454 - thebritishguy (03/12/2013) [-]
exactly, if an omniscient and benevolent God wrote it why would he have the same attitudes as 2000 year old dessert dwellers
User avatar #447 to #446 - thebritishguy (03/12/2013) [-]
this in the belief that your God is going to burn me alive, if someone was going to burn you alive I wouldn't love them I would hate them
User avatar #449 to #447 - jokeface ONLINE (03/12/2013) [-]
Well that's a shame.
User avatar #451 to #449 - thebritishguy (03/12/2013) [-]
it isn't a shame it is sane, why would anyone believe another human deserves to go to hell? even Hitler only deserves to go there for a day or two and then he can go back to sleep
#457 to #451 - anon (03/13/2013) [-]
for the love of God, stop being a faggot. You're not even listening to anything he's saying.
User avatar #453 to #451 - jokeface ONLINE (03/12/2013) [-]
Everyone deserves eternity in hell because everyone has turned away from God. It doesn't matter what's "sane" by your standards. God made a decision. There's no questioning it, no challenging it, no arguing it. We follow Him or we go to hell. That's it. There's nothing to discuss. Just decide if you prefer heaven or hell. It's simple.
User avatar #456 to #453 - thebritishguy (03/12/2013) [-]
no it's grotesque and dictatorial he is not benevolent or just he is the most evil character in all of history, you know I don't believe it is true
User avatar #440 to #439 - thebritishguy (03/12/2013) [-]
out of fear, like how they worship Kim Jong Un in North Korea
User avatar #436 to #435 - jokeface ONLINE (03/12/2013) [-]
I'll watch it later, I'm on the phone right now. But anyway, I know there are parts of the Bible where it says to kill people but those parts are in the Mosaic Law and don't apply anymore. I can provide sources explaining why.
#428 to #427 - anon (03/11/2013) [-]
oh shut up troll
User avatar #429 to #428 - thebritishguy (03/11/2013) [-]
no anon I am not even trolling
#387 - thebritishguy (03/04/2013) [-]
I might become a Buddhist, I don't know I have been reading a book on it and it seems pretty cool, but I won't believe in re incarnation. Pastafarianism was fun for a while but I seem to be losing faith in a carbohydrate based deity...I can't feel his noodley appendages holding me down anymore R'Amen
User avatar #388 to #387 - jokeface ONLINE (03/04/2013) [-]
Buddhism is an admirable philosophy but it deceives you about the afterlife and the true God. It would be good to apply some of its principles to a Christian lifestyle (such as letting go of desire, being nonviolent, etc.) but any belief that does not focus on Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior is wrong and will lead to suffering.
#393 to #388 - thebritishguy (03/04/2013) [-]
like the belief in Jesus has not caused suffering, Buddhism has no God you don't worship anyone but some cultures have there own separate Gods which they include into Buddhism. The statement that believing in any other religion will cause suffering is frankly wrong and nothing more than an idea supported by your opinion.
User avatar #394 to #393 - jokeface ONLINE (03/05/2013) [-]
I wasn't talking about suffering in this life. I was referring to hell.
#398 to #394 - thebritishguy (03/05/2013) [-]
all these people will go to hell because they were born into the "wrong" families, your God is an ass
User avatar #400 to #398 - jokeface ONLINE (03/05/2013) [-]
No, they'll go to hell because we are asses for depriving them of the truth. It's our job to save them.
User avatar #401 to #400 - thebritishguy (03/05/2013) [-]
you don't know or even have any evidence what you say is the truth, if you were born in India you would be saying the same thing about there God, if you were born in Afghanistan you would be saying the same thing about Allah, religion isn't innate it is geographic
User avatar #404 to #401 - jokeface ONLINE (03/05/2013) [-]
We have evidence but apparently it's not good enough for you.
User avatar #406 to #404 - thebritishguy (03/05/2013) [-]
no, the reasoning you use to explain God and the bible isn't good enough (hows your girlfriend btw?)
User avatar #409 to #406 - jokeface ONLINE (03/05/2013) [-]
Things are hard right now. She couldn't make it up to visit as scheduled, and then two days later her father passed away. So it's tough.
User avatar #410 to #409 - thebritishguy (03/05/2013) [-]
hmmmmmm have you heard of the show cat fish? maybe she is a he, have you spoken to...her..on webcam?
User avatar #412 to #410 - jokeface ONLINE (03/05/2013) [-]
I've heard of the show but I haven't watched it. However I did see the movie so I know what it's about. Coincidentally, the main guy in that movie looks so much like me it's eerie. And no, we haven't webcammed, but we've spoken on the phone so I at least know she's a girl. She also has videos of herself on Facebook, so I can match the voice to the face in the pictures.
User avatar #414 to #412 - thebritishguy (03/05/2013) [-]
the guy in the film looks pretty cool, maybe you could say to hold up a piece of paper with your name on it and take a photo to be sure, it seems coincidental these kind of things happening together
User avatar #415 to #414 - jokeface ONLINE (03/05/2013) [-]
Nah, my IRL identity and Jokeface must remain separate. I like the anonymity.
User avatar #417 to #415 - thebritishguy (03/05/2013) [-]
well you could just say any word, it would be just as valid, if they took the pictures and videos from a model or from another profile I doubt they would be able to do it
#405 to #404 - thebritishguy has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #370 - ragnarfag (03/01/2013) [-]
Since we waited like 10h by now, what is your ''severed arm analogy''?
User avatar #371 to #370 - jokeface ONLINE (03/02/2013) [-]
I just got back to my computer and answered on the board. But to reiterate:

Suppose a person donates their arm to science. The arm is connected to a machine that simulates a heart, pumping clean blood through the arm to keep the tissue alive. Then suppose someone damages the arm in such away that the tissue dies. A bunch of living, human tissue. So is this person guilty of murder?
User avatar #386 to #371 - thebritishguy (03/04/2013) [-]
a murder is the taking away of a human life, not human cells
User avatar #389 to #386 - jokeface ONLINE (03/04/2013) [-]
Exactly. And what is an non-cognizant embryo if not just a collection of cells? Until it's aware, it may be "living" tissue but it's not "alive"
User avatar #392 to #389 - thebritishguy (03/04/2013) [-]
yeah, your right, did you see that post which said "if abortion is murder, are blowjobs cannibalism?"
User avatar #395 to #392 - jokeface ONLINE (03/05/2013) [-]
Exactly. It's absurd.
User avatar #364 - whtkid ONLINE (03/01/2013) [-]
Good luck on the sex!!
User avatar #365 to #364 - jokeface ONLINE (03/01/2013) [-]
Actually I'm waiting until marriage, but thank you for the sentiment. :)
User avatar #363 - OpticalIllusion (03/01/2013) [-]
Best of luck with your net girlfriend, hope you get some righteous sex.
User avatar #366 to #363 - jokeface ONLINE (03/01/2013) [-]
As I said to Whtkid, we're waiting until marriage. But thank you. :)
User avatar #372 to #366 - OpticalIllusion (03/02/2013) [-]
Whatever floats your boat.

I hope all is going well?
User avatar #376 to #372 - jokeface ONLINE (03/02/2013) [-]
So far so good. She gets on her flight in about 12 hours.
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