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|#195950 - Well I"m asian so I can already read minds. So I'll go wi… [+] (3 new replies)||02/27/2014 on PARTY ROOM||+14|
|#195886 - MARRY ME ADMIN. I'LL LET YOU TOUCH MY BOOTY||02/27/2014 on PARTY ROOM||0|
|#195705 - We talk **** , we ******** , we're …||02/27/2014 on PARTY ROOM||+1|
|#193443 - Picture||02/26/2014 on PARTY ROOM||+2|
|#193306 - I LEIK DIS SONG||02/26/2014 on PARTY ROOM||+1|
|#193127 - Sorry I'm late guys, happy MLK day!||02/26/2014 on PARTY ROOM||0|
|#192904 - waiting for the drop....||02/26/2014 on PARTY ROOM||+1|
|#192819 - **jellybob rolled a random image posted in comment #4802166 …||02/26/2014 on PARTY ROOM||0|
|#192423 - Bene||02/26/2014 on PARTY ROOM||0|
|#192302 - Picture||02/26/2014 on PARTY ROOM||+1|
|#118 - If you have a flying legendary and it is not named "Breez…||02/26/2014 on Twitch Team||0|
|#5 - I see a vase.||02/26/2014 on This cows face...||+1|
|#4 - Ask me if I'm sorry. Hint: I'm not||02/26/2014 on toastar wars||+2|
|#7 - Holy ******* **** on a ******…||02/25/2014 on Creepypasta||+3|
|#29 - It's okay he drank an elixer of resist fire before he attempted this.||02/25/2014 on light yourself on fire...||0|
|#31 - don't be so anal about it man, it's a compliment that's perfec…||02/24/2014 on Spongeychicken likes...||0|
|#17 - 10/10 best troll 2059 [+] (1 new reply)||02/23/2014 on Still, no one wants Bieber||+14|
|#13 - but can it .gif? [+] (3 new replies)||02/23/2014 on Still, no one wants Bieber||+5|
|#11 - this is gonna be fun [+] (6 new replies)||02/23/2014 on Still, no one wants Bieber||+2|
|#185052 - god damn that was hard||02/23/2014 on PARTY ROOM||0|
|#185026 - Picture||02/23/2014 on PARTY ROOM||0|
|#7 - "Terminal deceleration syndrome"||02/22/2014 on Medical Speak||+4|
|#75 - 9 8||02/22/2014 on Logic skill - 2||0|
|#623 - I believe you're thinking of pansexual good sir||02/22/2014 on FJ Demographics||0|
|#14 - You're going to do amazing things with your life you feel indu… [+] (5 new replies)||02/22/2014 on Life 101||+8|
#16 - infinitereaper (02/22/2014) [-]
Thanks, I hope so man. To tell you truth, I've got a lot of dreams. I've carried them with me for a long time. When was younger I dreamed of changing the world, no, changing the course of human history. "This world could be a paradise" I thought. "Humanity can stand united" I thought. I was young, naive, and a lot has changed since then, but my wishes haven't. Even though my fine motor skills are slowly deteriorating I haven't given up my dream of being an artist, event though I haven't been able to complete any book or novel I haven't given up my dream of being a writer, even if my health happens to get so bad that I die I still want to live forever, because it's not enough for me, nothing is enough, my soul cries out with ambition. I want to make an impact, I want to help make the world a better place, I want to see what great heights humanity reaches. I want to help people. I want to save people. I want to leave my mark as one of the greatest humans to walk the Earth...
and while I'm not sure I believe I'm capable of any of that anymore, like when I was younger, like back when people came to me thanking me from stopping them from committing suicide or telling me I helped them, inside of me, there still exists hope, that I can make something of my life, that I can grasp the person I was once again, and become an even better person that I ever was before, this life of mine... it's been so short, I don't want to give up. I don't want this journey to end now. I've come so far.
And have so far to go.
So thank you, it's kind words like yours, that help me grasp a little more light, and drag myself myself forward.
#75 - sciencexplain (02/22/2014) [-]
#117 - infinitereaper (02/22/2014) [-]
I honestly have no idea. It might just be my blood flow and chronic pain. My biggest problem now is that no one is listening to me, including the doctors I've seen, American healthcare really pales in comparison to healthcare around the world. From the start I was told "Oh nothing is wrong they'll/we'll never/probably find nothing." And what? They found bacteria in my stomach, and a vein that's strangling my intestine. (and they said just about everybody comes back normal from this catscan) I know my body, and by god, by now, I know I'm fucking right. If I say I'm dying, then I'm fucking dying. I just hope that they figure out everything that's wrong with me, but I'm not just going to leave it to them. I'm trying to get every test/doc visit possible. I'm going to ask about everything I can think of. I'm not going to let them shove me off like they have been. The only major issues is that I'm running out of heath insurance so I have to figure out a way to go to school with my body, much less get my license, and even though it's hard for me to think at times, I'm going to write down everything (since it helps me) so I can explain to the doctors better and get the help that I need.
And thanks man, I appreciate everything. And about my brain, I'm not sure, I have hit my head a few times in my life. But I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it. As it is, most my symptoms (like peeing 20x times a day) and having sleeping energy and metabolism problems, I've had ever since I was born.
There are quite a few clues I think, it's just a matter of solving the puzzle. Hopefully the doctors don't just make it worse or end up killing me, one of them already almost did.