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jacksipian

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jacksipian Avatar Level 318 Comments: Wizard
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Date Signed Up:9/24/2011
Last Login:12/19/2014
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#2596
Highest Content Rank:#240
Highest Comment Rank:#37
Content Thumbs: 15916 total,  17419 ,  1503
Comment Thumbs: 22247 total,  26047 ,  3800
Content Level Progress: 62.4% (624/1000)
Level 212 Content: Comedic Genius → Level 213 Content: Comedic Genius
Comment Level Progress: 13.9% (139/1000)
Level 318 Comments: Wizard → Level 319 Comments: Wizard
Subscribers:10
Content Views:782567
Times Content Favorited:1118 times
Total Comments Made:8675
FJ Points:31031
Favorite Tags: tag youre it (34) | 4Chan (6) | millipedes (3) | bugs (2) | children (2) | FML (2) | millipedes every (2) | people didnt des (2) | responsibility (2) | Tag youre it RDJ (2)

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    Uploaded: 01/01/14
    Clever Clever
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    Uploaded: 01/03/14
    No I am Batman! No I am Batman!
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    Wow, this is actually true. Wow, this is actually true.
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    Uploaded: 01/01/14
    Why the hell not? Why the hell not?
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    Uploaded: 07/02/14
    Russians. Russians.
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    Uploaded: 01/19/14
    Who else? Who else?
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 > [ 64 Funny Pictures Total ]
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#152 - 35F Intelligence Analyst, and yeah, I'm sure we will. maybe af…  [+] (1 new reply) 12/14/2014 on ever been this blind? +1
User avatar #154 - therealbigboss (12/14/2014) [-]
Yeah dude, there ya go.
#151 - we have a regular who comes in all the time, and apparently he…  [+] (1 new reply) 12/14/2014 on ever been this blind? +1
User avatar #153 - therealbigboss (12/14/2014) [-]
Nah man its a good story.
#143 - Army, everyone there wants to get me laid before i leave, but …  [+] (3 new replies) 12/14/2014 on ever been this blind? +1
User avatar #144 - therealbigboss (12/14/2014) [-]
Nah mane we will both get good at some point. I hope . Have fun in the Army, whats your MOS?
User avatar #152 - jacksipian (12/14/2014) [-]
35F Intelligence Analyst, and yeah, I'm sure we will. maybe after i get swole in the army, I'll come back and get with one of the girls lol
User avatar #154 - therealbigboss (12/14/2014) [-]
Yeah dude, there ya go.
#130 - you want to know what's bad, i work at Hooters, i leave for ba…  [+] (8 new replies) 12/14/2014 on ever been this blind? +1
#142 - therealbigboss (12/14/2014) [-]
Also how was the $250 bounty placed, jw?
User avatar #151 - jacksipian (12/14/2014) [-]
we have a regular who comes in all the time, and apparently he's a millionaire. Well he threw a Halloween party in october and i went there, and i was hanging out, not drinking because i was designated driver and stuff and i was waiting for my coworker, well my coworker, a hooters girl, and some girl that lived with the regular were in a hot tub and my buddy asked me to go get her a drink, so i did. Then the girl that lives there asked me to get her a drink, and my exact words were "I'm not your bitch" so i made her go get her own drink and i guess this was huge because no one ever says no to her (hell, i have trouble saying no to girls anyway) and the regular hated her and was about to kick her out. so later on when he found out that I have never had sex and was about to leave for the Army, he put the bounty on me as his thank you gift and going away gift.

He was also in the Army at one point. sorry for the long story
User avatar #153 - therealbigboss (12/14/2014) [-]
Nah man its a good story.
#138 - therealbigboss (12/14/2014) [-]
Better luck for the both of us in the future then. What branch you going into?
User avatar #143 - jacksipian (12/14/2014) [-]
Army, everyone there wants to get me laid before i leave, but i guess i just suck lol. hopefully you'll have better luck than i
User avatar #144 - therealbigboss (12/14/2014) [-]
Nah mane we will both get good at some point. I hope . Have fun in the Army, whats your MOS?
User avatar #152 - jacksipian (12/14/2014) [-]
35F Intelligence Analyst, and yeah, I'm sure we will. maybe after i get swole in the army, I'll come back and get with one of the girls lol
User avatar #154 - therealbigboss (12/14/2014) [-]
Yeah dude, there ya go.
#122 - because it's not about the money, it's about sending a m… 12/14/2014 on ever been this blind? 0
#117 - **** man, she just wanted to use you for your mov…  [+] (2 new replies) 12/14/2014 on ever been this blind? +1
#120 - swiftshadow (12/14/2014) [-]
I always tell her that I suspect she married me for my money. She usually just reminds me that I have no money.
User avatar #122 - jacksipian (12/14/2014) [-]
because it's not about the money, it's about sending a message the movies.
#114 - it's a test. say no. 12/14/2014 on ever been this blind? 0
#112 - tell me your story.  [+] (11 new replies) 12/14/2014 on ever been this blind? 0
#125 - therealbigboss (12/14/2014) [-]
There are many but here are a few notable ones:
>First time I made out with a girl she put my hand down her pants and I got nervous and pulled it back out.
>Girl once heavily hinted that she hoped we would get some "alone time" at my camp after prom, I got drunk instead of driving her to my cabin for a night alone (probs losing my vcard to her, no less.
>Girl crawled into bed with me once, after a party, I started cuddling her and didn't try anything. A mutual friend alter said she was dissapointed i wasn't into her.
>At a party a girl led me to a room and I offered her a seat, she told me like 3 times to sit first, I finally did, she sat in my lap, and kissed my neck, I froze and did nothing back.
>Later on, a girl I was bar hoping with in a group, who I had just met expressed interest, flirting, touching my knee, asking my opinion on her clothes, asking about my watch, etc. I was convinced hot girls (or all girls) did not like me. Next day the friend (girl) whos birthday we were celebrating asked why I did not like her friend, who had liked me, and said I was "cool and manly" and hoped we would hook up.

TL/DR I'm socially awkward around vagina's.

It kills me just looking back on it. Really painful stuff, and the reason I am now a 23 year old virgin. I need a drink after writing this.
#133 - therealbigboss (12/14/2014) [-]
I'm not usually open but I'm drunk and this is hte internet. therealbigboss isn't my real name
#130 - jacksipian (12/14/2014) [-]
you want to know what's bad, i work at Hooters, i leave for basic training in 16 days and there has been a $250 bounty on my V-card for a couple months now and i still can't get laid. you literally can't pay people to have sex with me.
#142 - therealbigboss (12/14/2014) [-]
Also how was the $250 bounty placed, jw?
User avatar #151 - jacksipian (12/14/2014) [-]
we have a regular who comes in all the time, and apparently he's a millionaire. Well he threw a Halloween party in october and i went there, and i was hanging out, not drinking because i was designated driver and stuff and i was waiting for my coworker, well my coworker, a hooters girl, and some girl that lived with the regular were in a hot tub and my buddy asked me to go get her a drink, so i did. Then the girl that lives there asked me to get her a drink, and my exact words were "I'm not your bitch" so i made her go get her own drink and i guess this was huge because no one ever says no to her (hell, i have trouble saying no to girls anyway) and the regular hated her and was about to kick her out. so later on when he found out that I have never had sex and was about to leave for the Army, he put the bounty on me as his thank you gift and going away gift.

He was also in the Army at one point. sorry for the long story
User avatar #153 - therealbigboss (12/14/2014) [-]
Nah man its a good story.
#138 - therealbigboss (12/14/2014) [-]
Better luck for the both of us in the future then. What branch you going into?
User avatar #143 - jacksipian (12/14/2014) [-]
Army, everyone there wants to get me laid before i leave, but i guess i just suck lol. hopefully you'll have better luck than i
User avatar #144 - therealbigboss (12/14/2014) [-]
Nah mane we will both get good at some point. I hope . Have fun in the Army, whats your MOS?
User avatar #152 - jacksipian (12/14/2014) [-]
35F Intelligence Analyst, and yeah, I'm sure we will. maybe after i get swole in the army, I'll come back and get with one of the girls lol
User avatar #154 - therealbigboss (12/14/2014) [-]
Yeah dude, there ya go.
#41 - cock inglip superman, 4chan started it to troll them and they … 12/14/2014 on Tumblr talks about Tumblr 0
#33 - aquaman could kill superman.  [+] (5 new replies) 12/14/2014 on Superpranks +42
#52 - anonymous (12/14/2014) [-]
"could". Most likely will lose.

#45 - godofhorizons (12/14/2014) [-]
So long as he's got a shard of kryptonite
User avatar #51 - HAMMATIMEZ (12/14/2014) [-]
I'm pretty sure the magic from his trident affects him too.
#54 - anonymous (12/14/2014) [-]
Yup. Superman is weak against magic and the trident is super magic. Fighting Aquaman will be big mistake.
User avatar #50 - swagloon (12/14/2014) [-]
Or depending on which superman Some writing say he doesn't need to breath others say he can just hold his breath for a long time. we're talking about Aquaman just need to hold him down there till he drowns.

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User avatar #160 - qwarthos (07/03/2014) [-]
Im at walmart now and will be for at least an hour if you wanted to come now dude
User avatar #161 to #160 - jacksipian (07/03/2014) [-]
ok. do you have something to take a picture with? i can't get my camera because then they won't let me leave lol. sports section, right?
User avatar #162 to #161 - qwarthos (07/03/2014) [-]
Yeah ill have a phone
User avatar #163 to #162 - jacksipian (07/03/2014) [-]
next time we do this, we should probably give a description of ourselves or something so we can find eachother lol
User avatar #164 to #163 - qwarthos (07/03/2014) [-]
Could help, I've got an orange shirt and jeans on if that helps
User avatar #165 to #164 - jacksipian (07/03/2014) [-]
i already left, i was there until noon and left because i realized i wasn't going to find you by chance. i was wearing a cyber patriot shirt with my sunglasses on my head and checking out the footballs and stuff.
User avatar #156 - Byte ONLINE (06/25/2014) [-]
Oh my beloved belly button.
The squidgy ring in my midriff mutton.
Your mystery is such tricky stuff:
Why are you so full of fluff?
User avatar #157 to #156 - jacksipian (06/25/2014) [-]
that's not personalized at all! 0/10
#159 to #157 - Byte ONLINE (06/25/2014) [-]
but jack if that's the way you feel   
you're getting it in the butt   
now best go kneel   
in the 						****					 hut
but jack if that's the way you feel
you're getting it in the butt
now best go kneel
in the **** hut
User avatar #158 to #157 - Byte ONLINE (06/25/2014) [-]
but I thought of you as my belly button
#151 - datgrass ONLINE (06/23/2014) [-]
You're the first person to receive a ditto gif   
   
congrats
You're the first person to receive a ditto gif

congrats
User avatar #152 to #151 - jacksipian (06/23/2014) [-]
yaay thank you sir!
User avatar #153 to #152 - datgrass ONLINE (06/23/2014) [-]
You're welcome
#149 - dogsonalog (06/22/2014) [-]
hello
User avatar #150 to #149 - jacksipian (06/22/2014) [-]
Howdy.
#147 - presidentmoose (06/21/2014) [-]
It worked earlier, I don't know what is going on right now
#148 to #147 - jacksipian (06/21/2014) [-]
oh well, it's the thought that counts! I just appreciate that you would actually do that for me.
#145 - aldothenazi (06/16/2014) [-]
**aldothenazi rolled image** I think you should pray upon me and that means lets be friends and i will be normal yes? test btw if i can roll flippin pics here
User avatar #146 to #145 - aldothenazi (06/16/2014) [-]
Well aint I a ******* polite one haha.
User avatar #142 - qosfortyone (06/13/2014) [-]
you dead yet?
User avatar #143 to #142 - jacksipian (06/13/2014) [-]
Not yet.
User avatar #135 to #133 - whereistherumgone (03/11/2014) [-]
Are you muslim
User avatar #136 to #135 - jacksipian (03/11/2014) [-]
I still don't understand, but no, I'm Agnostic.
User avatar #137 to #136 - whereistherumgone (03/11/2014) [-]
I don't get why anyone would have any opinion either way on me commenting 'rubbudingirapids brudda' let alone negative
User avatar #138 to #137 - jacksipian (03/11/2014) [-]
oh, that makes more sense, it just seemed random, unrelated, and overall pointless, so i deemed it "unfunny" and gave it the red thumb.
User avatar #139 to #138 - whereistherumgone (03/11/2014) [-]
You clearly have not seen four lions.
User avatar #140 to #139 - jacksipian (03/11/2014) [-]
what is that?
User avatar #141 to #140 - whereistherumgone (03/11/2014) [-]
Probably the most well-known film the guy in that post had a part in. It's a comedy about terrorists trying and failing to bomb a marathon so they can me martyred and go strait to muslim paradise. Put by one of the characters, 'like skipping the queue for the rubber dingy rapids ride at alton towers' (british theme park) Because everyone know that's the ultimate ride at Alton Towers. Apparently.

User avatar #131 - jorgethemaster ONLINE (12/30/2013) [-]
Badbadbad.
User avatar #127 - joshlol (12/23/2013) [-]
**joshlol rolls 86**
User avatar #126 - toastandbananas (12/23/2013) [-]
**toastandbananas rolls 60**
User avatar #124 - princepeanut (12/23/2013) [-]
**princepeanut rolls 69**
User avatar #123 - UnaOWNED (12/23/2013) [-]
**UnaOWNED rolls 31**
User avatar #122 - phanact (12/23/2013) [-]
**phanact rolls 46**
User avatar #121 - twi (12/23/2013) [-]
**twi rolls 00**
User avatar #125 to #121 - twi (12/23/2013) [-]
**twi rolled user theluppijackal **
User avatar #130 to #125 - UnaOWNED (12/23/2013) [-]
STOP BEING SLOW AND REROLL
User avatar #128 to #125 - phanact (12/23/2013) [-]
REROLL FIRNEDS ONLY
User avatar #120 - UnaOWNED (12/23/2013) [-]
**UnaOWNED rolls 14**
User avatar #119 - phanact (12/23/2013) [-]
**phanact rolls 13**
User avatar #118 - UnaOWNED (12/23/2013) [-]
**UnaOWNED rolls 96**
User avatar #117 - phanact (12/23/2013) [-]
**phanact rolls 18**
[ 151 comments ]
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