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Personal Info
Gender: male
Facebook Profile: Fuck Facebook.
Youtube Channel: No.
Steam Profile: I already have friends!
Consoles Owned: Xbox 360, PS2, N64
Video Games Played: Skyrim, Fallout 3 and New Vegas, Civ 3, World of Tanks, Empire: Total War, Oblivion, Ace Combat, Europa Universalis III, CKII, Mount and Blade
Interests: Yes.
Date Signed Up:9/02/2012
Last Login:1/28/2016
FunnyJunk Career Stats
Content Thumbs: 144 total,  181 ,  37
Comment Thumbs: 7146 total,  7704 ,  558
Content Level Progress: 40% (4/10)
Level 14 Content: New Here → Level 15 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 36% (36/100)
Level 264 Comments: Pure Win → Level 265 Comments: Pure Win
Content Views:12621
Times Content Favorited:20 times
Total Comments Made:2357
FJ Points:6691

Text Posts

latest user's comments

#41 - Translator's note: keikaku means plan. 12/24/2015 on It didn't go like fakku... +8
#34 - Picture 11/22/2015 on Tumblr Comp Part 48 +3
#19 - You're right, Morty sucks as a DJ.  [+] (1 new reply) 11/11/2015 on Anon isn't happy with... +1
#25 - Anetheril (11/11/2015) [-]
**Anetheril used "*roll picture*"**
**Anetheril rolled image** maybe he just needs to get schwifty
#88 - Picture 11/09/2015 on Extra weight 0
#101 - Picture 09/01/2015 on Black Twitter Compilation #73 0
#90 - Picture 07/28/2015 on Sober +12
#73 - Ah yes, I too have seen the Nightly Show. 07/10/2015 on John Stewart +1
#183 - Yeah, I can't argue with that. Hitting cav with round shot on … 07/02/2015 on Webms rule the world now I... 0
#180 - Which boils down to being good at surprise attacks. Impaling c…  [+] (2 new replies) 07/02/2015 on Webms rule the world now I... 0
User avatar
#182 - wotterpatch (07/02/2015) [-]
If impaling cav from the front is beyond satisfying, slicing infantry across the back is orgasmic
User avatar
#183 - impaledsandwich (07/02/2015) [-]
Yeah, I can't argue with that. Hitting cav with round shot on purpose is like ascending to Nirvana, though.
#178 - Nah son, bayonet beats cavalry every time.  [+] (4 new replies) 07/02/2015 on Webms rule the world now I... +1
User avatar
#179 - wotterpatch (07/02/2015) [-]
Not if you're good cav
User avatar
#180 - impaledsandwich (07/02/2015) [-]
Which boils down to being good at surprise attacks. Impaling cav from the front is beyond satisfying.
User avatar
#182 - wotterpatch (07/02/2015) [-]
If impaling cav from the front is beyond satisfying, slicing infantry across the back is orgasmic
User avatar
#183 - impaledsandwich (07/02/2015) [-]
Yeah, I can't argue with that. Hitting cav with round shot on purpose is like ascending to Nirvana, though.
Leave a comment Refresh Comments (79)
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55 comments displayed.
#81 - whyheloitisijimble (12/22/2015) [-]
why helo, it is i

i am the jimble

did an invent of machine for say

merry christamble !

have a good
#78 - gugek (11/21/2014) [-]
Have a great day today!
#79 to #78 - impaledsandwich (11/21/2014) [-]
Thank you, but who are you, masked stranger?
#80 to #79 - gugek (11/21/2014) [-]
I'm Jordan Anthony Allison! And i like to make people smile.
#76 - soundofwinter (06/23/2014) [-]
**** you
#77 to #76 - impaledsandwich (06/23/2014) [-]
Well it's about goddamn time.
#75 - vcabcvc (12/14/2013) [-]
cum on
#71 - thepumpkinsrock (11/28/2013) [-]
operation flaming dildo in sequence
#72 to #71 - impaledsandwich (11/28/2013) [-]
Roger that, standing by for commencement of Operation Flaming Dildo. Just a quick request, uhhhh, can you explain what the op, uhhhhhhh, is, over?
#73 to #72 - thepumpkinsrock (11/28/2013) [-]
There is no time! Commence operation flaming dildo or else the mormons win
#74 to #73 - impaledsandwich (11/28/2013) [-]
Why didn't you say so before? Come on, we have a rubber dick to ignite for the fate of America!
#68 - doombunni (11/13/2013) [-]
Won't let me answer your comment, but I don't see why the gummint would want to operate in a place where the chief entertainment is waffle house
#69 to #68 - impaledsandwich (11/15/2013) [-]
That's just what they want you to think. Have you ever considered that maybe these so-called Waffle Houses are really just Illuminati feminist superbases of euphoria? They obviously run the gubermint.
#70 to #69 - doombunni (11/15/2013) [-]
No, I refuse to believe it. Waffle House is too awesome to be a tool of some dirty Gubermint conspiracy
#50 - Kairyuka (06/28/2013) [-]
(Seriously **** the FJ status system)
I have lots of confidence in myself. I'm an awesome guy. I just realize that no one else thinks that, no matter what they say they all go away. So at least I know how to entertain myself.
#51 to #50 - impaledsandwich (06/28/2013) [-]
"how to entertain myself." The Internet has ruined me.

But back on subject, um... I'm confused again. Still. I don't know. What's happening to you seems to be what's happening to me in a way, but from outside the situation itself seems completely insane. I'm trying to make sense of that, but it's very hard.
#52 to #51 - Kairyuka (06/28/2013) [-]
Meh. I'll just keep playing my guitar and my single player games and hope that someone will return of their own free will.
#53 to #52 - impaledsandwich (06/28/2013) [-]
Rock your heart out, man.
#54 to #53 - Kairyuka (06/28/2013) [-]
I always do. Many have asked me how I manage to rock out the way I do when I play or listen to music. Well, it's simple to rock out when the music brings out your true form. When I'm in or around music, I become completely and utterly alone, and I realize this. I end up in this world of strange and numb bliss where I'm alone, but I don't care. Not until it's over again.
#55 to #54 - impaledsandwich (06/28/2013) [-]
Are there any recordings of you playing?

Also, it's really unfortunate you dislike Pink Floyd, for more than just the obvious reasons. There are some songs that fit perfectly.
#56 to #55 - Kairyuka (06/28/2013) [-]
But I don't get that feeling from Pink Floyd, it's simply too boring for me. And I have some recordings, but nothing that's good.
#57 to #56 - impaledsandwich (06/28/2013) [-]

Oh *****, the things I could throw at you... all the obscure little recordings, all the albums... You don't even know half of it, I promise.

Any recording will do, though.
#58 to #57 - Kairyuka (06/28/2013) [-]
Just check my Soundcloud, there are solo recordings and a couple from the band as well: You need to login to view this link
#59 to #58 - impaledsandwich (06/28/2013) [-]
I will have to listen to it in a few minutes. Any Colour You Like is still on.

Let me try to un-bore you. One ******* badass song is One of These Days, though the only good version on Youtube isn't quite the best. Or if you're into lighter rock, the rest of the album Meddle is good, except for Echoes, which is god-tier and 24 minutes long.

Or there's The Dark Side of the Moon, on which Money is arguably the most energetic song. However, Time is legendary and Us and Them, while rather slow, is beautiful. Brain Damage (immediately followed by Eclipse) gives you this indescribable feeling of hope, loneliness, and all kinds of extremes.

Animals is an album you have to listen to in one sitting. It's really just three long songs, but god damn they're cool. Lots of ingenious and innovative rock, as well as outright sexy guitar solos.

Also there's The Wall.
#60 to #59 - Kairyuka (06/28/2013) [-]
And I don't really like the way Pink Floyd sounds. I've got lots of other bands I like, I'll listen to them.
#61 to #60 - impaledsandwich (06/28/2013) [-]
Hey, I listened to your thing!
#62 to #61 - Kairyuka (06/28/2013) [-]
Which one?
#63 to #62 - impaledsandwich (06/28/2013) [-]
The Soundcloud recording. It was good, though your voice could use some improvement. You can get it, though. I liked your playing.
#64 to #63 - Kairyuka (06/28/2013) [-]
I know my singing sucks. You can listen to some of the other things in my Soundcloud
#65 to #64 - impaledsandwich (06/28/2013) [-]
There were others? I have never been on that site, so I have no training in it. I will do that, though.
#66 to #65 - Kairyuka (06/28/2013) [-]
If my voice hurts your ears too bad, I have like two instrumental things I did to test out the effects in my new pedal.
#67 to #66 - impaledsandwich (06/28/2013) [-]
I would be interested in all of them. However, I'm checking out Tool's cover of No Quarter by Led Zeppelin at the moment, and so far I don't hate it. It's not as good as the original, but it's good.
#46 - isoscelessandwich (06/09/2013) [-]
We shall combine, and our offspring will be deadly polygonal sandwiches the likes of which the world has never seen.
#47 to #46 - isoscelessandwich (06/09/2013) [-]
Also, an avatar for you.

It's impaled on a toothpick.
#48 to #47 - impaledsandwich (06/09/2013) [-]
That's it. I do love you.
#34 - dcmp ONLINE (04/07/2013) [-]
This what I imagine Emily's face is when Markus mentions Brooke
This what I imagine Emily's face is when Markus mentions Brooke
#35 to #34 - impaledsandwich (04/07/2013) [-]
More like an "Oh dammit, her?" face. Not so much anger as tired frustration.
#36 to #35 - dcmp ONLINE (04/07/2013) [-]
We need to set up some collaboration time, we are hardly on at the same time
#37 to #36 - impaledsandwich (04/07/2013) [-]
You're right, and I apologize for that. I expect to be a bit more free this week, though. That's the hope.
#38 to #37 - dcmp ONLINE (04/07/2013) [-]
Don't apologize, I understand people are busy. I've been chugging away at the flowchart, and finished the pathway probabilities. At least for now, we are at 2456 possible combinations, 28% of those lead to your death. Day 9 outline is finished, and Sorrow has made some changes to valeria. That's about all the news I have for you. I'm free most of the time because college is easy, but I usually have to work nights.
#39 to #38 - impaledsandwich (04/07/2013) [-]
That's great to hear. I'm trying to find ways of being useful, but I'm having less luck than I'd like. I'm trying to shape Emily's path, though. It's going to be hard.
#40 to #39 - dcmp ONLINE (04/07/2013) [-]
I think we need to focus on getting act 1 finished, still have like 5 days left to write. Everybody on BA is a little burnt out and progress is pretty slow. So I'm taking the opportunity to try and get act 1 finished so we can set the writers loose. It's hard for me to write for Jess when the flowchart is unfinished, it nags at me. Im obsessive, once I start something I have to finish it.
#41 to #40 - impaledsandwich (04/07/2013) [-]
That's quite admirable. You said you needed my input on some things. What are they?
#42 to #41 - dcmp ONLINE (04/08/2013) [-]
I need your input on Emily. I need more of her filled in, and I also need to talk to Minator and Sorrow so they can fill in Cat and Valeria respectively. I need more information on the Brooke/Emily rivalry. Are we going with childhood friends turned enemies? That would be best with the current time line. Also, I edited Brooke's endings so that now she has a terrible ending, the one where she dies. The thing is I would like for markus to betray her in the worst possible way, i.e. cheating, for that ending to happen. My question about that is, who should it be? Could it be Emily? Or could it be someone else?
#43 to #42 - impaledsandwich (04/08/2013) [-]
Alright, here's what I've come up with:

Emily and Brooke knew each other quite well when they were kids. They grew up in the same small town and went to the same schools, though Brooke was a couple years older. In high school, Brooke began really retreating from everyone, including Emily. They had an argument, and spoke no more than a sentence at a time after that. Brooke went to this college in the middle of nowhere specifically to avoid Emily. However, Emily never got word of that, and did the same thing for a similar reason.

Brooke at the very least acts like she thinks Emily is a little brat. It's up to you if she actually thinks that. Emily would sooner not talk or think about Brooke, and doesn't really like her. She isn't mean, but would much rather be doing something else. She also remembers how well they got along, and is still regretful about how that was destroyed.

Brooke knows that Emily has hallucinations, but not that they're much worse now.

Emily, on some level, is tired and a little angry at the world, and could be talked into snapping by the player. In Brooke's terrible ending, the player could get a bit drunk and manage to literally drive Emily a bit mad. Maybe she's had something terrible happen recently, and is already stressed. I don't know. She'd become a different person, but not so different that it isn't surreal and creepy. She'd agree to sleep with Markus with the purpose of getting back at Brooke for whatever. Brooke would find out and that part of the ending would happen, but as a side note, Emily would begin to lose her grip on reality. Markus would have destroyed two people and have to live with the guilt.
#44 to #43 - dcmp ONLINE (04/08/2013) [-]
I will think this over, I like it, but I have some things I need to talk to you about it. But I can't right now, I have to go to work. I will talk to you later
#45 to #44 - impaledsandwich (04/08/2013) [-]
Alright then. Have fun, make friends.
#23 - Kairyuka (03/07/2013) [-]
Replying here because Funnyjunk's status system is broken:
That's right, it reminds me that I ain't dead. Yet. But I'll keep feeling like this forever. There is no resolution, no reward for my feelings. It's only pain and the occasional scaring a friend away.
#24 to #23 - impaledsandwich (03/07/2013) [-]
Prove it. You're not even 20 yet. How could you know what the rest of your life will be like?

Try one thing for me. Whenever you can for a while, find some music you really enjoy, turn up the volume, and rock yourself calm. I don't think it will make you feel good, but it will at least make you feel less. I know I just said that feeling is good, but there's also such a thing as being overwhelmed.

I recommend Animals by Pink Floyd, but you can do whatever the hell you like.
#25 to #24 - Kairyuka (03/07/2013) [-]
I've calmed down now. I just need to blind myself from the past and present, and only focus on the future. Ignore every routine and only think about the differences. I'm trying to start some parkour training, and our band is going to play live soon :D
#26 to #25 - impaledsandwich (03/07/2013) [-]
I don't think that's the best solution. Then again, my thing isn't a solution at all, so at least you're doing something.

On the bright side, you'll probably kick ass with the band. What do you guys play?
#27 to #26 - Kairyuka (03/08/2013) [-]
Hard rock. We're also working hard to have some recordings ready for the 18th, so we can apply for a live gig in April.
#28 to #27 - impaledsandwich (03/08/2013) [-]
Awesome, dude. I'll definitely want to hear You need to login to view this link it mostly original stuff, or do you do covers?
#29 to #28 - Kairyuka (03/08/2013) [-]
Original stuff. I think we'll make a soundcloud for it.
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