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imalex

Last status update:
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Personal Info
Gender: male
Facebook Profile: DJ 4DM1N
Consoles Owned: pc
Video Games Played: DayZ, Skyrim, EuroTruck, KSP, Gran Turismo 5
X-box Gamertag: xbox blew up
Interests: cars, drifting, racing, engines
Date Signed Up:10/30/2012
Last Login:5/26/2016
Location:norway
FunnyJunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#6294
Highest Content Rank:#32
Highest Comment Rank:#595
Content Thumbs: 84865 total,  94650 ,  9785
Comment Thumbs: 7730 total,  9586 ,  1856
Content Level Progress: 23.6% (236/1000)
Level 283 Content: More Thumbs Than A Hiroshima Survivor → Level 284 Content: More Thumbs Than A Hiroshima Survivor
Comment Level Progress: 40% (40/100)
Level 270 Comments: Ninja Pirate → Level 271 Comments: Ninja Pirate
Subscribers:4
Content Views:3194704
Times Content Favorited:5217 times
Total Comments Made:3036
FJ Points:90306
I am a nordic master race,

Text Posts

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    Uploaded: 02/02/13
    aw aw
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    Uploaded: 11/08/12
    FJ for ya FJ for ya
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    Uploaded: 11/01/12
    Fuck bullies Fuck bullies
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    Uploaded: 11/10/12
    What can you see? What can you see?
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    Thumbs Up 2250 Thumbs Down 121 Total: +2129
    Comments: 84
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    Uploaded: 12/08/12
    so yea I was going to work today so yea I was going to work today
  • Views: 64333
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    Uploaded: 11/29/12
    God dammit anon! God dammit anon!
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    Uploaded: 12/02/12
    Meanwhile in Russia Meanwhile in Russia
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    Uploaded: 02/20/13
    the best gif on the internet the best gif on the internet
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    Thumbs Up 1056 Thumbs Down 58 Total: +998
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    Uploaded: 01/09/13
    GOD DAMMIT CARLOS GOD DAMMIT CARLOS
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    Uploaded: 10/31/12
    First! First!
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    Uploaded: 01/09/13
    Just a regular day at the office Just a regular day at the office
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    Uploaded: 12/13/12
    Anon Anon

latest user's comments

#101 - "am a marine" is that code for base dweller in wow l… 05/12/2016 on Best Moment from an SR-71... +1
#19 - well i could buy that explanation, but bob has a really big su…  [+] (1 new reply) 05/04/2016 on Designated Driver +1
User avatar
#20 - dndxplain (05/04/2016) [-]
it's uh... part of his pajamas
#17 - "ah just a friendly soldier driving around with three dea…  [+] (3 new replies) 05/04/2016 on Designated Driver +2
User avatar
#18 - dndxplain (05/04/2016) [-]
they're just sleeping, don't you know
User avatar
#19 - imalex (05/04/2016) [-]
well i could buy that explanation, but bob has a really big suspicious hole in his chest
User avatar
#20 - dndxplain (05/04/2016) [-]
it's uh... part of his pajamas
#93 - seems like 8 and up wont sette for less than a 10 04/24/2016 on /pol feels those... 0
#63 - good looking white girls have such insane standards today it i…  [+] (2 new replies) 04/24/2016 on /pol feels those... 0
User avatar
#76 - helgheimftw (04/24/2016) [-]
Seems b8-ish but ok i'll bite, a 9 0r a 10 dont have to go lower than what they are. So dont bitch about standards of white women when everyone wants someone close to their league
User avatar
#93 - imalex (04/24/2016) [-]
seems like 8 and up wont sette for less than a 10
#84 - but that isnt common sense, its ******* stupid?  [+] (1 new reply) 04/21/2016 on Islam comp: four twenty... 0
User avatar
#85 - cyberviking (04/21/2016) [-]
Morality over logic, or something along those lines.
#82 - what?  [+] (3 new replies) 04/21/2016 on Islam comp: four twenty... 0
User avatar
#83 - cyberviking (04/21/2016) [-]
We live in the age where common sense is a recommendation, example: LETTING A FUCK TON OF THIRD WORLD MUSLIMS INTO A FIRST WORLD, WHITE, AND CHRISTIAN COUNTRY.
User avatar
#84 - imalex (04/21/2016) [-]
but that isnt common sense, its fucking stupid?
User avatar
#85 - cyberviking (04/21/2016) [-]
Morality over logic, or something along those lines.
#77 - When will they form an army so we can form a crusade and *****…  [+] (6 new replies) 04/21/2016 on Islam comp: four twenty... +3
User avatar
#119 - angelusprimus (04/21/2016) [-]
Well Pope Francis will push the Church more to astethicism and shift power more toward monastic orders.
After him will come another Pope, lets call him Pious VIII, who will keep shifting the Church more toward the monastic orders and keep taking the power from the Bishops.
After him will come new Urban. He will again allow Militant Orders, for the defense of Europe. Already richer and more spread orders like Fransicans and Jesuits will sprout militant suborders. And everything will be ready for the Crusade.

So I'll say, two more Popes.
User avatar
#81 - cyberviking (04/21/2016) [-]
The crusades didn't have the best record when it came to common sense, which is why it needs to be done now.
User avatar
#82 - imalex (04/21/2016) [-]
what?
User avatar
#83 - cyberviking (04/21/2016) [-]
We live in the age where common sense is a recommendation, example: LETTING A FUCK TON OF THIRD WORLD MUSLIMS INTO A FIRST WORLD, WHITE, AND CHRISTIAN COUNTRY.
User avatar
#84 - imalex (04/21/2016) [-]
but that isnt common sense, its fucking stupid?
User avatar
#85 - cyberviking (04/21/2016) [-]
Morality over logic, or something along those lines.
#56 - Picture 04/21/2016 on Skyrim with a fresh set of... +5
#2 - Ive never undestood this, I cant feel **** when shes ontop, I …  [+] (48 new replies) 04/21/2016 on Iggy mighta rapped about... +62
#65 - jokersaysamuseme (04/22/2016) [-]
**jokersaysamuseme used "*roll picture*"**
**jokersaysamuseme rolled image** Nope, you're not the only one.

#61 - notafunnyguy (04/22/2016) [-]
because shes not good on top. and if youve had this problem with multiple women, its because none of them were good on top.

a girl on top who goes up and down and they're basically stiff the whole time, thats an amateur girl on top.

a girl who rides you and is bouncing, grinding, using her hips/waist to move her and not her whole body, thats a girl whos fucking you with talent and will get you off every time.

i know its a surprise for some guys who still need a bit more experience, but girls can be bad in bed too.
User avatar
#59 - catburglarpenis (04/22/2016) [-]
I always have to grab her hips and move her manually. She's on top and I'm STILL doing half the work sheeit
User avatar
#55 - liru (04/21/2016) [-]
My girl has always been really chill with me instructing her how to do things better, same with her helping me out as well. Now she is a beast on top and I can eat her out like a champ. Communication and trust gets you pretty far in bed yo!
#54 - anon (04/21/2016) [-]
LMAO people on fj implying they have sex, your hand isn't a she silly fj'r
User avatar
#53 - xXxCenturionxXx (04/21/2016) [-]
It depends, my girlfriend fucking kills it.
#50 - anon (04/21/2016) [-]
if you want to feel shit, try sticking it in the other hole, bro.
User avatar
#45 - buckymcbadbait (04/21/2016) [-]
tell her to do kegel exercises
#42 - anon (04/21/2016) [-]
She ain't gonna let you pull out.
User avatar
#41 - lemonn (04/21/2016) [-]
Sometimes it hurts my johnson, if she leans back too much her pelvic bone practically causes a penile fracture.
#40 - hitlerwasreich (04/21/2016) [-]
It honestly depends on the skill of the girl
#39 - farted (04/21/2016) [-]
I have to do all the work, even when she's on top. So that doesn't help either.
User avatar
#31 - datassman (04/21/2016) [-]
Honestly it really depends on the woman. I've been with ones that I can't go more than 5 minutes of them being on top before I just get bored, and with ones that I almost prefer being on bottom to the other way around.
User avatar
#29 - IronTortureDevice (04/21/2016) [-]
It's a more difficult position, my current gf is extremely good at it and destroys me in minutes while on top, whereas previous gf's have just auto-killed my erection whenever they even mention it.
User avatar
#27 - kyoutu (04/21/2016) [-]
You must be circumcised.
User avatar
#32 - StewieGGriffin (04/21/2016) [-]
That literally makes no difference, I'm circumcised and it feels fine.
User avatar
#33 - kyoutu (04/21/2016) [-]
My condolences.
#35 - anon (04/21/2016) [-]
Are you borderline retarded?
#25 - kronosan (04/21/2016) [-]
You're on Funny Junk. Trust me, you're the only one with experience.
#28 - sexwithyourwife (04/21/2016) [-]
I get the whole everyone on funnyjunks a virgin bit. But some of these fuckers are married. Id know..
User avatar
#44 - nidhugg (04/21/2016) [-]
Masturbating to 2D pictures is not the same as sex though
User avatar
#62 - mondamini (04/22/2016) [-]
Yeh its better that way amirite guyz im so lonely
#49 - sexwithyourwife (04/21/2016) [-]
Just cause thats all you can get doesnt mean thats all everyone here can get.

Pic related its me and my Bitch
User avatar
#66 - longtimecasual (04/22/2016) [-]
When I saw that pic I just assumed whoever posted it was making fun of those two people for any number of reasons. But it went the completely opposite way and you proudly claim that it's a pic of yourself and your girl. And that's just depressing.

Although, what kind of person can we really expect to get with a name like 'sexwithyourwife.' And unless you grew up in the ghetto you should have more respect for yourself and your woman than to call her a bitch. But by the looks of her, she visits the brothers in the ghetto quite often.
#68 - sexwithyourwife (04/22/2016) [-]
I can see why your names long time casual so here you go buddy.

I made my name in 9th grade because at the time those mastercard commercials were popular and i liked this photo that was "sex with your girlfriend..priceless but it was to long and i didnt think to put GF instead
#56 - anon (04/21/2016) [-]
You both look like you make horrible decisions and care to much about your looks nigha
User avatar
#21 - RomanR (04/21/2016) [-]
I love it when shes on top and shes riding back and forth instead of up and down, shits so cash
User avatar
#18 - metalheadtildeath (04/21/2016) [-]
something is wrong with your dick then bro
User avatar
#17 - postwhatevs (04/21/2016) [-]
Me neither, but in the only few cases I had sex, the girl never ever wanted to do any effort so maybe its because they're lazy shits on top
#14 - anon (04/21/2016) [-]
Shes only seen women on top in porn.

Your pee pee is smaller than a porn star.

Shes not good at it because not enough practice.

Grind, not bounce.
#12 - qotsa (04/21/2016) [-]
that sounds odd to me cause my bf cums rather quick when i'm on top.
#36 - wobblewub (04/21/2016) [-]
hhh...
#15 - agronimo (04/21/2016) [-]
He fakes it
#51 - thepizzadevourer (04/21/2016) [-]
I'm no sexpert, but that seems like a tough thing for a guy to do
User avatar
#63 - crazyanimal (04/22/2016) [-]
You know how girls in pornos hold in water to "squirt".. Well he just stuffs mayo through his urethra until he wants to "cum"
User avatar
#64 - thepizzadevourer (04/22/2016) [-]
My dick just got even smaller
Didn't know that was physically possible
#11 - anon (04/21/2016) [-]
Ok so if she doesn't know what she is doing you either feel nothing or it becomes painfull over time . Let her squat over you with her knees directly over your waist , this makes the pelvic muscle flex when she goes up and down . you might need to help her if she isnt super fit and brace yourself it is tight and you might not make it [small][small]
#10 - Nahyon (04/21/2016) [-]
Now that you're saying it.

I mean I enjoy that hell a lot ( ya know, just the looks of it, the situation ) but somehow not necessarily for the reason what my dick feels ? is it the condom, or the position ? I mean it's most likely depending on her skill/movement on you but it's definitely different when you're doing it yourself.
User avatar
#48 - spacehawk (04/21/2016) [-]
With a condom on any sex is mediocre at best tbh.
User avatar
#9 - vishnarg (04/21/2016) [-]
Hahaha Yeah bro all the time1!! I have sex every day bro and I hate when she's on top hahahahahahaha
#8 - anon (04/21/2016) [-]
You've just had shit women in bed
User avatar
#7 - deutschblut (04/21/2016) [-]
I am not promiscuous, but have enough experience to know that women are either incapable of being on top, or there must be some special university degree that is first required to learn it...

I think it is just not the natural/optimal way. Honestly, what animal has the female doing the work? Besides that, there are certain muscles in the "thrusting" that seem to be necessary for coitus/sensation.
#20 - llllxeallll (04/21/2016) [-]
well when a female is on top they don't have the option of just thrusting. They have to keep their shit lined up while moving their whole pelvic region up and down, it seems like a much more skill/cardio intensive maneuver. For guys it's just push and pull.
#38 - anon (04/21/2016) [-]
A guy shouldnt just be thrusting either, if a guy can use his hips appropriately then angles come into play instead of straight in and out.
#4 - pulseythekid (04/21/2016) [-]
**pulseythekid used "*roll picture*"**
**pulseythekid rolled image** You need to learn how to have sex son.
#52 - zeebeejeebee (04/21/2016) [-]
#5 - evilkingganon (04/21/2016) [-]
Now thats a boner killin roll
User avatar
#19 - totallytito (04/21/2016) [-]
I imagine sticking it in there to feel like a really weak midget trying to tug on your wee wee
Leave a comment Refresh Comments (52)
Anonymous comments allowed.
51 comments displayed.
#47 - captainsweden (02/23/2015) [-]
#48 to #47 - imalex (02/24/2015) [-]
indeed, he did nothing wrong, just trying to keep the filth away from our country
#49 to #48 - captainsweden (02/24/2015) [-]
Yeah say that irl you ******* pussy
#50 to #49 - imalex (02/24/2015) [-]
id rather not due to it being a controversial opinion
#51 to #50 - captainsweden (02/24/2015) [-]
******* pussy.
#52 to #51 - imalex (02/24/2015) [-]
swedish filth calling me a pussy

hah, like it even matters
#53 to #52 - captainsweden (02/24/2015) [-]
******* kill yourself you norweigan *********.
#54 to #53 - imalex (02/25/2015) [-]
rich aryan norwegian
you call me a ********* but im guessing your skin looks like a *********
#55 to #54 - captainsweden (02/25/2015) [-]
Damn bro i should just stomp your ****** norwiecuck skull in like you deserve you ******* autist.
#56 to #55 - imalex (02/25/2015) [-]
typical muslim behavior
#57 to #56 - captainsweden (02/25/2015) [-]
Seriously bro, i will ******* stomp your head in like the retarded ******* queer you are.
Seriously bro, i will ******* stomp your head in like the retarded ******* queer you are.
#42 - alicorn (08/12/2014) [-]
Somebody else here who likes GT, and he lifts

Nice dude
#43 to #42 - imalex (08/12/2014) [-]
Gran Turismo?

if so well i dont play that anymore.. they closed the ****** multiplayer -.-
so if i want to play it i have to buy a ps4 and gt6.. hellna..
#44 to #43 - alicorn (08/12/2014) [-]
Dude, gt6 is for the ps3. It's only like 39 bucks now

You should totally get it, it's miles ahead of gt5 everything about it is better
#45 to #44 - imalex (08/13/2014) [-]
yeah well ill think about it.. i personally like forza better since im more into drifting but them again i dont have an xbox anymore..
#46 to #45 - alicorn (08/13/2014) [-]
forza is pretty good, sounds are much better but I like gt's overall feel when driving

This site has some pretty good drift tunes if you consider getting it

www.team-shmo.com/GT6Main/drift.php
#37 - jorgemaster (04/29/2013) [-]
nice Youtube. Subbed
#38 to #37 - imalex (04/29/2013) [-]
thanks!:D
more skyrim coming :3
#39 to #38 - jorgemaster (04/29/2013) [-]
by the way, do you use thoose fj points?
I'ts just what I need to be able to make demigods
#40 to #39 - imalex (04/29/2013) [-]
i really dont understand what fj points are you used for..
#41 to #40 - jorgemaster (04/29/2013) [-]
I need 200k to use my scrolls :)
They are not worth much tbh. But I suck at posting content :)
#29 - lordartan (01/11/2013) [-]
can i share this in other sites?
www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/4360277/At+the+bar/
#30 to #29 - imalex (01/11/2013) [-]
yup
#31 to #30 - lordartan (01/11/2013) [-]
thanks bro
#32 to #31 - imalex (01/11/2013) [-]
bw subscribe me?:)
#33 to #32 - lordartan (01/11/2013) [-]
ok no problem
#22 - mrallex (01/10/2013) [-]
Hi Alex! I'm Alex. nice to meet you!
#23 to #22 - imalex (01/10/2013) [-]
Hi Alex!. Nice to meet you to

-Sincerely Alex
#24 to #23 - mrallex (01/10/2013) [-]
So Alex. what'ya do today? anything interesting?
#25 to #24 - imalex (01/10/2013) [-]
oh nothing, school, ate some food had a proteinshake nothing much really.

How about you Alex?
#26 to #25 - mrallex (01/10/2013) [-]
WOAH what a Coincidence! I ate some food too today!

We have a lot in common Alex.

what are you doin' this evening?

#27 to #26 - imalex (01/10/2013) [-]
have some more food! then sleep

you Alex?
#28 to #27 - mrallex (01/10/2013) [-]
well Alex, I just ate a sammich. was pretty good. gonna make some homework and then sleepytime for me too.

#7 - runeception (01/02/2013) [-]
So I'm pretty bored ''Alex'' and I was thinking... I'm going to figure out who you are, where you live, and all of your info, but I got into a little problem. You posted earlier a picture of a graveyard, and someone found the picture on ''VG'' and you said that you sent it in, and it says that the one who sent it in was Kent Skibstad who lives in Sandnes, but you're FJ name and info tells me you are one ''Alex'' so enlighten me ''Alex'', what is your true identity, Alex or Kent? Yes I know I'm a creep, and I am typing in english just to make you more terrified.
and no I will not rape you, calm down.
#8 to #7 - imalex (01/02/2013) [-]
***** bare me funnyjunk å sa de var mitt hhaha

#9 to #8 - runeception (01/02/2013) [-]
aha! jævel ass :P
#10 to #9 - imalex (01/02/2013) [-]
:p
#11 to #10 - runeception (01/02/2013) [-]
I will figure this **** out... just wait alex... just wait... helmsgaard.
#13 to #11 - runeception (01/02/2013) [-]
AHA! alex helmsgård, varhaug, født 11.mai 1997 født på bryne
#12 to #11 - imalex (01/02/2013) [-]
du harjo navne mitt..
#15 to #12 - runeception (01/02/2013) [-]
fornavnet mitt rimer på nuben, og etternavnet mitt rimer på tatsen, (bare den første bokstaven som er forskjellig på begge ''navnene'') pb på facebook er meg i en kjole, GO!
#16 to #15 - runeception (01/02/2013) [-]
nei faen det var feil, tatsen har 2 bokstaver som er forskjellige fra etternavnet mitt, jeg veit jeg maser men jeg kjeder meg!!!
#14 to #12 - runeception (01/02/2013) [-]
din tur
#18 to #14 - imalex (01/07/2013) [-]
ka du hette då -__-
#19 to #18 - runeception (01/07/2013) [-]
fornavnet mitt rimer på nuben, og etternavnet rimer på tatsen, bytt t'ene med M og D
#20 to #19 - imalex (01/07/2013) [-]
ruben madsen?
#21 to #20 - runeception (01/07/2013) [-]
damn you good
#17 to #14 - imalex
Comment deleted by imalex [-]
#6 - imadethistopost ONLINE (12/08/2012) [-]
i hear you think that enlisting means dying at the hands of a Muslim, **** you.
#1 - greatgatsby (11/01/2012) [-]
take down that C&H post or you will get banned....


just warning ya
#2 to #1 - imalex (11/04/2012) [-]
wheres my ban at?