holdup

Rank #1998 on Content
holdup Avatar Level 247 Comments: Doinitrite
Offline
Send mail to holdup Block holdup Invite holdup to be your friend flag avatar
Last status update:
-
Personal Info
Date Signed Up:8/31/2011
Last Login:1/25/2015
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#1998
Comment Ranking:#8116
Highest Content Rank:#1996
Highest Comment Rank:#1518
Content Thumbs: 1574 total,  1891 ,  317
Comment Thumbs: 4998 total,  6507 ,  1509
Content Level Progress: 11% (11/100)
Level 113 Content: Funny Junkie → Level 114 Content: Funny Junkie
Comment Level Progress: 97% (97/100)
Level 247 Comments: Doinitrite → Level 248 Comments: Doinitrite
Subscribers:2
Content Views:87545
Times Content Favorited:47 times
Total Comments Made:4678
FJ Points:1746
Favorite Tags: no (3) | on (3) | posts (3) | post (2) | sunday (2)

Show:
Sort by:
Order:

funny pictures

  • Views: 24271
    Thumbs Up 708 Thumbs Down 40 Total: +668
    Comments: 103
    Favorites: 13
    Uploaded: 01/20/15
    baby with a gun baby with a gun
  • Views: 22485
    Thumbs Up 578 Thumbs Down 35 Total: +543
    Comments: 23
    Favorites: 22
    Uploaded: 12/14/14
    old Chinese ladies old Chinese ladies
  • Views: 20281
    Thumbs Up 428 Thumbs Down 26 Total: +402
    Comments: 54
    Favorites: 9
    Uploaded: 09/25/13
    FUCK ME FUCK ME
  • Views: 2414
    Thumbs Up 23 Thumbs Down 3 Total: +20
    Comments: 4
    Favorites: 0
    Uploaded: 01/20/15
    giggidy. giggidy.
  • Views: 2015
    Thumbs Up 18 Thumbs Down 1 Total: +17
    Comments: 3
    Favorites: 0
    Uploaded: 01/20/15
    HA! HA!
  • Views: 847
    Thumbs Up 25 Thumbs Down 12 Total: +13
    Comments: 2
    Favorites: 1
    Uploaded: 01/04/12
    back in the day back in the day
1 2 3 > [ 15 Funny Pictures Total ]
Show:
Sort by:
Order:

youtube videos

  • Views: 699
    Thumbs Up 3 Thumbs Down 3 Total: 0
    Comments: 3
    Favorites: 0
    Uploaded: 01/06/12
    forget wobble forget wobble
  • Views: 1640
    Thumbs Up 1 Thumbs Down 2 Total: -1
    Comments: 0
    Favorites: 0
    Uploaded: 01/11/15
    (untitled) (untitled)
Show:
Sort by:
Order:

funny gifs

latest user's comments

#20 - LOL yea and little purple faggots come out and sing the high notes. 01/20/2015 on Best. Job. Ever. +1
#781 - anybody play the evil within? goddamn that keeper asshole is scary.  [+] (2 new replies) 01/18/2015 on no plans tonight? GET IN HERE 0
User avatar #796 - freedomreturns (01/18/2015) [-]
I have not, but it looks great.
Heard it gets really surreal after the initial horror part, and I love me some surrealism.
#21 - HAHA, I got 2 notifiers!  [+] (1 new reply) 01/17/2015 on Functional Jet-Propulsion +1
User avatar #22 - redstonealchemist (01/17/2015) [-]
yeah i call that the facebook effect: when someone likes, comments on and then shares something you've posted.
#18 - seriously, i **** you not a lava bubble floated o…  [+] (5 new replies) 01/17/2015 on Functional Jet-Propulsion +1
User avatar #20 - redstonealchemist (01/17/2015) [-]
holdup that's some cool shit.
still, if i am given enough extra floatation, i still can't even get any propulsion of any kind, like seriously how the fuck do people swim?
User avatar #34 - FoxFatal (01/18/2015) [-]
Keeping oxygen in your lungs keeps you afloat. When you breathe in, you are more buoyant, but when you have no air in your lungs the opposite happens and you sink. So, you learn proper movement techniques and breathing control and boom. Swimming = mastered.
User avatar #85 - redstonealchemist (01/18/2015) [-]
nono, you see i cannot float, unless i have an unreasonable amount of extra floats, i still can't float.
one of the times i almost drowned was learning to swim with my school, i was about 8. the teachers kept on demanding that i try it without floats (i had to use four flat square floats, 2 under each arm otherwise i'd sink) and i kept on saying that it wouldn't work with any less than four floats.
eventually i said "fine! you want to see me drown? fine i'll show you exactly what happens when i try swimming without floats!"
then i did exactly as the teacher had told me before about floating and swimming, i followed every single thing they had said before and i was turned upside down faster than eren in broken 3D gear. my only saving grace was to push off the floor with my hands, hope i could right myself and it took a long enough time to do it for me to nearly drown.
there was a lifeguard that day and you know what he was doing? the 20+ seconds my head was underwater, he was flirting with some girl his own age.
because of him and a few other cases, i have absolutely NO trust in lifeguards
User avatar #21 - holdup (01/17/2015) [-]
HAHA, I got 2 notifiers!
User avatar #22 - redstonealchemist (01/17/2015) [-]
yeah i call that the facebook effect: when someone likes, comments on and then shares something you've posted.
#34 - clearly you don't know jack **** , nirvana is mere… 01/17/2015 on Nirvana -4
#15 - have you ever seen a floating rock? i have.  [+] (7 new replies) 01/17/2015 on Functional Jet-Propulsion 0
User avatar #17 - redstonealchemist (01/17/2015) [-]
if there was a pie chart showing the percentage of people that can and cannot swim, i'd be one of the people respresented as a dot outside of the chart, said dot labelled "hopeless fuckers"
User avatar #18 - holdup (01/17/2015) [-]
seriously, i shit you not a lava bubble floated out of the bottom of the sea, floated at the top and became a hollow floating rock.
User avatar #20 - redstonealchemist (01/17/2015) [-]
holdup that's some cool shit.
still, if i am given enough extra floatation, i still can't even get any propulsion of any kind, like seriously how the fuck do people swim?
User avatar #34 - FoxFatal (01/18/2015) [-]
Keeping oxygen in your lungs keeps you afloat. When you breathe in, you are more buoyant, but when you have no air in your lungs the opposite happens and you sink. So, you learn proper movement techniques and breathing control and boom. Swimming = mastered.
User avatar #85 - redstonealchemist (01/18/2015) [-]
nono, you see i cannot float, unless i have an unreasonable amount of extra floats, i still can't float.
one of the times i almost drowned was learning to swim with my school, i was about 8. the teachers kept on demanding that i try it without floats (i had to use four flat square floats, 2 under each arm otherwise i'd sink) and i kept on saying that it wouldn't work with any less than four floats.
eventually i said "fine! you want to see me drown? fine i'll show you exactly what happens when i try swimming without floats!"
then i did exactly as the teacher had told me before about floating and swimming, i followed every single thing they had said before and i was turned upside down faster than eren in broken 3D gear. my only saving grace was to push off the floor with my hands, hope i could right myself and it took a long enough time to do it for me to nearly drown.
there was a lifeguard that day and you know what he was doing? the 20+ seconds my head was underwater, he was flirting with some girl his own age.
because of him and a few other cases, i have absolutely NO trust in lifeguards
User avatar #21 - holdup (01/17/2015) [-]
HAHA, I got 2 notifiers!
User avatar #22 - redstonealchemist (01/17/2015) [-]
yeah i call that the facebook effect: when someone likes, comments on and then shares something you've posted.
#13 - i'm a ******* whale, and I swim like one too.  [+] (33 new replies) 01/17/2015 on Functional Jet-Propulsion 0
#19 - speaksinriddles (01/17/2015) [-]
Bones are heavy, low body fat and the fact that I sink like a fucking rock gets me every time.
User avatar #66 - sharkwithrobotarms (01/18/2015) [-]
you sink because the water is afraid of you and so it goes around you rather then lift you up.
#67 - speaksinriddles (01/18/2015) [-]
Yeah, it'd better be scared or I'll have to break out my can of whatever-the-hell-beats-water.
User avatar #68 - sharkwithrobotarms (01/18/2015) [-]
saying thinks like that is why the water is afraid of you man. how do you expect to swim like that.
User avatar #69 - speaksinriddles (01/18/2015) [-]
I don't. But once all the elements are scared of me I'll be a walking immortal. Metal so afraid you can't shoot me, fire so afraid you can't burn me, air so afraid it won't leave me, water so afraid it won't stop.

Come at me universe, I'll kick your ass too.
User avatar #70 - sharkwithrobotarms (01/18/2015) [-]
the water is afraid so it wont save you from drowing, the earth is so afraid of you it shakes causing massive earthquakes, the air is so afraid of you it becomes hard to breath.
User avatar #71 - speaksinriddles (01/18/2015) [-]
Then I must scare it into submission! I'll do it, or I'll destroy the planet trying!
#60 - blackoutonetwotwo (01/18/2015) [-]
Drink more calcium.


To make your bones stronger than the will of water.

You can never have enough calcium.
#62 - speaksinriddles (01/18/2015) [-]
I drink milk every day, at least once a day. That way when I die my skeleton will thank me by letting me to continue my consciousness. I will be the bearer of bone, the harbinger of humanity, the coming of the age of calcium.

I will be the stone against the tide of soft drinks. Look not to the skies, little ones, but inside your very bodies. You all harbor the truth of the Calcium Crusader!
#49 - XanicLyoka (01/18/2015) [-]
Does anyone know the source of this GIF?
User avatar #37 - doctorprofessornv (01/18/2015) [-]
Just learn breathing control, if you can't use fat as buoyancy then lungs work too.
#38 - speaksinriddles (01/18/2015) [-]
I don't freak out. I know the right techniques and stuff (My dad was a diver) it's just...I sink. I also tire out pretty fast, but I know a few hours of cardio a week would help with that. Long story short is super dense bones (Not actually Big Boned) and a decent metabolism means swimming is one of my least favorite activities. Have trouble building muscle mass too, though I'm just normal level skinny.

Anyways, yeah. Swimming sucks.
User avatar #50 - jcenderion (01/18/2015) [-]
same prob dude not sure about super dense bones though might have to get checked.
#51 - speaksinriddles (01/18/2015) [-]
Yep. Just sink if I stop going arm over arm for even a second.. Maybe it was all the whole milk I drank as a kid...

But on the bright side I've haven't ever broken or even fractured any of my bones. And I've been in situations I had no right not breaking something in.
User avatar #52 - jcenderion (01/18/2015) [-]
Im more along the lines of cant even get going because I immediately sink when I get in the water and require a flotation device of some kind. I got a good story about what happened when I was in school and they made every kid swim.
User avatar #53 - speaksinriddles (01/18/2015) [-]
I almost drowned at my required swimming, you?

As long as I keep serious momentum I won't sink. I have pretty decent upper body strength. I wasn't ever shredded fit but I have always been in shape to some extant. Too bad I think my college will destroy my winning streak after all these years.
User avatar #54 - jcenderion (01/18/2015) [-]
Nah man, the only time I ever nearly drowned was as kid at some hotel we were staying at for the day with this big pool. But my required swimming, well my mom says they gave me a pink floaty tube but I dont think it was pink. So there I was when all the other kids were swimming and i was kicking my feet holding on to a questionably colored floaty. I do have that stupidly good metabolism though. Just today for dinner I had 2 burritos from taco bell and a slice of pizza and I assure you I wont gain a pound. Hell I lost weight before I started taking Growth hormone Pituitary gland don't work. .
User avatar #57 - speaksinriddles (01/18/2015) [-]
Suck to hear about the other condition, but I've almost drowned...two? maybe three times now? Hell, you think would've just learned my lesson by now, but I'm a risk taker at heart.

Unfortunately I have a condition where if I lose any noticeable amount of blood I will black out as my body goes into shock. On the bright side, I am pretty good at not getting cut, and I am lucky to have fairly thick skin. Can't donate blood though, and receiving would probably give me seizures.

You seem like a pretty cool guy though. Send me a friend request if you're interested in talking more or anything.
User avatar #58 - jcenderion (01/18/2015) [-]
Yeah dude that sounds pretty bad. I assume you cant have cats then But mine isn't much of a prob just a tiny shot and I've always been good with needles.
User avatar #59 - speaksinriddles (01/18/2015) [-]
Actually, I have to lose enough blood to make me light headed, which is what causes me to black out. Scratches are fine, and semi-deep cuts aren't too bad assuming I can stop the blood loss. My GF has like 7.

I'm okay with needles as long as they aren't in my mouth. Had a bad dentist experience. It's like they're payed to be evil incarnate.
User avatar #61 - jcenderion (01/18/2015) [-]
Oh well not as bad then. Yeah I have this thing where if plastic is in my mouth my gag reflex kicks in Not bad enough to vomit or anything which makes the dentist a B. On the plus side my dentist has flavored laughing gas.
User avatar #63 - speaksinriddles (01/18/2015) [-]
I'm technically a ginger No soul, my hair is reddish brown in normal light, but my hair turns gradually more red the more sun I get. Not too pale though, although I burn like a fucking cake left in an oven compared to just tanning. , so it takes quite a bit more anesthetics than a normal person to numb me. This has resulted in me being fully aware at the dentist more than once. Some nightmare stuff watching them work.
User avatar #64 - jcenderion (01/18/2015) [-]
I have a pretty high resilience to pain so it isn't to, too, two? bad.
User avatar #65 - speaksinriddles (01/18/2015) [-]
It'd be "too". No sweat though.

I'm moderate on the pain mark. Never had to really rate it, or have had anything to rate it against. I dunno, maybe I'm a puss? Stumps me.
User avatar #14 - redstonealchemist (01/17/2015) [-]
i'd say i sink like a rock, but rocks at least have a chance at floating
User avatar #15 - holdup (01/17/2015) [-]
have you ever seen a floating rock? i have.
User avatar #17 - redstonealchemist (01/17/2015) [-]
if there was a pie chart showing the percentage of people that can and cannot swim, i'd be one of the people respresented as a dot outside of the chart, said dot labelled "hopeless fuckers"
User avatar #18 - holdup (01/17/2015) [-]
seriously, i shit you not a lava bubble floated out of the bottom of the sea, floated at the top and became a hollow floating rock.
User avatar #20 - redstonealchemist (01/17/2015) [-]
holdup that's some cool shit.
still, if i am given enough extra floatation, i still can't even get any propulsion of any kind, like seriously how the fuck do people swim?
User avatar #34 - FoxFatal (01/18/2015) [-]
Keeping oxygen in your lungs keeps you afloat. When you breathe in, you are more buoyant, but when you have no air in your lungs the opposite happens and you sink. So, you learn proper movement techniques and breathing control and boom. Swimming = mastered.
User avatar #85 - redstonealchemist (01/18/2015) [-]
nono, you see i cannot float, unless i have an unreasonable amount of extra floats, i still can't float.
one of the times i almost drowned was learning to swim with my school, i was about 8. the teachers kept on demanding that i try it without floats (i had to use four flat square floats, 2 under each arm otherwise i'd sink) and i kept on saying that it wouldn't work with any less than four floats.
eventually i said "fine! you want to see me drown? fine i'll show you exactly what happens when i try swimming without floats!"
then i did exactly as the teacher had told me before about floating and swimming, i followed every single thing they had said before and i was turned upside down faster than eren in broken 3D gear. my only saving grace was to push off the floor with my hands, hope i could right myself and it took a long enough time to do it for me to nearly drown.
there was a lifeguard that day and you know what he was doing? the 20+ seconds my head was underwater, he was flirting with some girl his own age.
because of him and a few other cases, i have absolutely NO trust in lifeguards
User avatar #21 - holdup (01/17/2015) [-]
HAHA, I got 2 notifiers!
User avatar #22 - redstonealchemist (01/17/2015) [-]
yeah i call that the facebook effect: when someone likes, comments on and then shares something you've posted.
#31 - i'm not going to tell you my life story but i only became an a…  [+] (1 new reply) 01/17/2015 on Nirvana -4
#73 - anthonyhart (01/18/2015) [-]
hey, i understand. im only 20 and ive had to adjust as well. i found the easiest way to get through it is to take every situation and evaluate the consequences of any course of action. do this very deliberately for a while and soon enough you'll find that actions taken in an emotion state usually lead to the wrong result. im not going to pretend to know you, i just want to see people be nice to each other
#471 - i don't know, I wanna think its a fun game but I hear alot of … 01/17/2015 on wut games u play 0
#14 - ...not really... 01/17/2015 on some food for thought +1

user's channels

Join Subscribe klubbseal
Show:
Sort by:
Order:

items

Total unique items point value: 30420 / Total items point value: 85244
[ 86 items Total ]

Comments(257):

[ 257 comments ]

Show All Replies Show Shortcuts
Per page:
Order:
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #281 - konradkurze (01/09/2015) [-]
**konradkurze used "*roll cah answer*"**
**konradkurze rolls Porn Stars.**
what made holdup crazy
User avatar #282 to #281 - holdup (01/09/2015) [-]
hm?
User avatar #283 to #282 - konradkurze (01/09/2015) [-]
too much porn made you fap yourself crazy
User avatar #284 to #283 - holdup (01/09/2015) [-]
i guess.
User avatar #285 to #284 - konradkurze (01/09/2015) [-]
so whats new bruh
User avatar #286 to #285 - holdup (01/09/2015) [-]
thinking about moving to California.
User avatar #287 to #286 - konradkurze (01/09/2015) [-]
where you live now?
User avatar #288 to #287 - holdup (01/09/2015) [-]
canada.
User avatar #289 to #288 - konradkurze (01/09/2015) [-]
from maple syrup and cheap meds to guns and illegal drugs
and either way....tons of weed

User avatar #290 to #289 - holdup (01/09/2015) [-]
yea, smoke alot not many places i can go.
User avatar #291 to #290 - konradkurze (01/09/2015) [-]
and youre gonna melt like a popsicle in south cali summers
User avatar #292 to #291 - holdup (01/09/2015) [-]
i will be damn sure to find air conditioning.
User avatar #293 to #292 - konradkurze (01/09/2015) [-]
you have to go outside sometime
not everyone can be joshlol
User avatar #294 to #293 - holdup (01/09/2015) [-]
yea, I go hiking in the cold sometimes.
User avatar #279 - konradkurze (03/13/2014) [-]
can i please have some fj points

need them BAD
User avatar #278 - konradkurze (02/10/2014) [-]
*rattles tin cup*
can is of having your FJ points plox
is of for good cause

Y 4 U MAYK ME SUFFER
User avatar #254 - konradkurze (02/09/2014) [-]
HOLDUP

can i has your FJ points plox
User avatar #255 to #254 - holdup (02/09/2014) [-]
.....no
User avatar #256 to #255 - konradkurze (02/09/2014) [-]
can i please have just 1050 then
User avatar #257 to #256 - holdup (02/09/2014) [-]
y da fuq r u bothering me?
User avatar #259 to #258 - holdup (02/09/2014) [-]
no.
User avatar #261 to #260 - holdup (02/09/2014) [-]
what the hell for?
User avatar #262 to #261 - konradkurze (02/09/2014) [-]
i need to buy items
User avatar #263 to #262 - holdup (02/09/2014) [-]
what makes you think im going to give you my points?
User avatar #264 to #263 - konradkurze (02/09/2014) [-]
because your my fj friend and im asking nicely
User avatar #265 to #264 - holdup (02/09/2014) [-]
fine, but this makes you MY BITCH.
User avatar #266 to #265 - konradkurze (02/09/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolled user kisman **
this person is your bitch instead of me
User avatar #268 to #266 - holdup (02/09/2014) [-]
but konnie-san i want you.
User avatar #269 to #268 - konradkurze (02/09/2014) [-]
too bads, kisman is your ass slave
User avatar #271 to #269 - holdup (02/09/2014) [-]
*sigh* k, but this is not over. come here kisman.
User avatar #275 to #271 - konradkurze (02/09/2014) [-]
*grabs a camera, films, and posts online to make you into a porn star*
User avatar #274 to #271 - kisman (02/09/2014) [-]
no
User avatar #270 to #269 - kisman (02/09/2014) [-]
no you are an ass slave
User avatar #272 to #270 - konradkurze (02/09/2014) [-]
see, Holdup wants your beefy ass
User avatar #273 to #272 - kisman (02/09/2014) [-]
no
User avatar #276 to #273 - konradkurze (02/09/2014) [-]
you'll do as youre told like a good ass slave
User avatar #277 to #276 - kisman (02/09/2014) [-]
no
User avatar #267 to #266 - kisman (02/09/2014) [-]
no you still the bitch
User avatar #253 - princepeanut (07/21/2013) [-]
Everyone items across all profiles have been deleted
Dont beleive any rumors, especially the proxy
we dont know why items got reset exactly
User avatar #252 - pyrain (07/19/2013) [-]
Thank you!
User avatar #247 - sexymossantamby (07/15/2013) [-]
still a NEVER!!!!! on the damnation egg? : P
User avatar #248 to #247 - holdup (07/15/2013) [-]
I'm accually pretty close to hatching it now.
User avatar #249 to #248 - sexymossantamby (07/15/2013) [-]
damn well then I wish u gl with your sweet dragon
User avatar #244 - sexymossantamby (07/13/2013) [-]
selling your damnnation egg?
User avatar #245 to #244 - holdup (07/13/2013) [-]
NEVER!!!!
User avatar #243 - bitchyouabitch (07/13/2013) [-]
if you accept i will shower you with alll the gems i get for a month
User avatar #225 - phantomi (03/11/2013) [-]
Plan?
#222 - itemmaaan (01/08/2013) [-]
What do you want for the bubble statues and the jimmy rustler?
User avatar #217 - catbob (10/23/2012) [-]
how much demonic ore for 2 furnaces and your 25 casino token?
User avatar #218 to #217 - holdup (10/23/2012) [-]
furnaces not for sale. 8 demonic ore for casino token.
User avatar #219 to #218 - catbob (10/23/2012) [-]
just saw thing on items board he selling for 5 ill leave it
#202 - dolanduk **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #203 to #202 - holdup (10/23/2012) [-]
that **** you offered for my iron chest and the message "please" I know you a troll phagget.
#204 to #203 - dolanduk **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #205 to #204 - holdup (10/23/2012) [-]
2 fab gem and dice, for iron chest.
User avatar #206 to #205 - acanadianmoose (10/23/2012) [-]
sir, i believe u made a mistake. i asked for 68 angelic tickets for my 68 fabulous tickets, i never wanted an iron chest
User avatar #207 to #206 - holdup (10/23/2012) [-]
the same dude sent me that crap twice, don't wanna sell tix anyway.
User avatar #208 to #207 - acanadianmoose (10/23/2012) [-]
uh ok, but i didnt ask for iron chest. i accept that u wont trade tix, but i dont want any misunderstandings between us. I apologize if somebody else sent u a ****** trade, but it was not dolan
User avatar #209 to #208 - holdup (10/23/2012) [-]
alright. i,ll un-block and calm down. but on the items board suspicion is the name of the game.
User avatar #196 - lesmusiceetrend (10/20/2012) [-]
Sell me your Demonic Ingots and Ores please
See if anything that I have interests you
User avatar #197 to #196 - holdup (10/20/2012) [-]
those are not for sale.
User avatar #193 - CottonTail (10/18/2012) [-]
SoRT and morris idol fish.
User avatar #194 to #193 - CottonTail (10/18/2012) [-]
for corrupt souls.
User avatar #195 to #194 - holdup (10/18/2012) [-]
no
User avatar #191 - ROFL (10/18/2012) [-]
if you give me 10 angelic ores and 2 wooden mystery boxes you can have both keys and the chest
User avatar #192 to #191 - ROFL (10/18/2012) [-]
deal?
User avatar #190 - FeeFieFoe (10/18/2012) [-]
all I want is the bat, and the wrath soul, do you wanna trade those for my armored imp?
User avatar #189 - randomosity (10/18/2012) [-]
anything you want for the gun on my profile (of my dupes i dont sell singles)
[ 257 comments ]
Leave a comment
 Friends (0)