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hawaiianhappysauce

Last status update:
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Personal Info
Gender: male
Age: 25
Date Signed Up:7/25/2011
Last Login:7/26/2015
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#6614
Comment Ranking:#13132
Highest Content Rank:#2083
Highest Comment Rank:#498
Content Thumbs: 1272 total,  1485 ,  213
Comment Thumbs: 9281 total,  12057 ,  2776
Content Level Progress: 70% (35/50)
Level 111 Content: Funny Junkie → Level 112 Content: Funny Junkie
Comment Level Progress: 76% (76/100)
Level 289 Comments: More Thumbs Than A Hiroshima Survivor → Level 290 Comments: Post Master
Subscribers:2
Content Views:111735
Times Content Favorited:108 times
Total Comments Made:6136
FJ Points:1079
Favorite Tags: Football (5)

latest user's comments

#35500 - I'm not sure if the author of the books could sue me for putti… 06/15/2015 on Technology Board 0
#35471 - ok, what if I just show the problems that are in many books an…  [+] (2 new replies) 06/15/2015 on Technology Board 0
User avatar #35472 - sineztro (06/15/2015) [-]
Then I think if multiple books use it then you might wanna cite one or if you can cite what the book is citing but as for lawsuits can you clarify that?
User avatar #35500 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/15/2015) [-]
I'm not sure if the author of the books could sue me for putting their problems in the videos and give them a chance to try to solve them.
#47983 - I don't get it.  [+] (1 new reply) 06/15/2015 on Sports - sports news, news... 0
User avatar #47984 - fuckberries (06/15/2015) [-]
ESPN used the logo for Georgia University instead of the Flag for the country Georgia.
#47982 - Patriots finally get their rings today. We're on to next season.  [+] (2 new replies) 06/15/2015 on Sports - sports news, news... 0
User avatar #48012 - plataeiou (06/16/2015) [-]
Were the diamonds deflated?
User avatar #48013 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/16/2015) [-]
Nope, they were built with the tears of crying Colts, Broncos, Seahawks, and Ravens fans.
#35463 - I'm not sure if there is a forum for this question, but this i…  [+] (4 new replies) 06/15/2015 on Technology Board 0
User avatar #35469 - sineztro (06/15/2015) [-]
Coomon knowledge generally applies to dates, but for stuff like proofs if you're getting it from a book then cite the book is always necessary but if say you already know the stuff like 2+3=5 then you would be your own source and thus wouldn't have to sight it unless you're referring back to a different video then sight your video Google Purdue OWL for more help with citing
User avatar #35471 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/15/2015) [-]
ok, what if I just show the problems that are in many books and online? And what kind of lawsuits could i bump into if I miss citing a source for one of my videos?
User avatar #35472 - sineztro (06/15/2015) [-]
Then I think if multiple books use it then you might wanna cite one or if you can cite what the book is citing but as for lawsuits can you clarify that?
User avatar #35500 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/15/2015) [-]
I'm not sure if the author of the books could sue me for putting their problems in the videos and give them a chance to try to solve them.
#188255 - Joshlol is that you?  [+] (1 new reply) 06/15/2015 on Advice - love advice,... 0
User avatar #188256 - joshlol (06/15/2015) [-]
no
#38 - when I was in college, my roommate and I bunked our beds for m… 06/14/2015 on Fancy Bunkbed 0
#30945 - Now I am done with the characters I think, so I wil…  [+] (7 new replies) 06/14/2015 on Television - cartoon... 0
User avatar #31233 - thedudeistheman (06/24/2015) [-]
Reply to this comment. I got logged out for some reason.
#31232 - anon (06/24/2015) [-]
I don't remember it very well, but I don't think Pratt opened the wall. Wasn't it the one guard trying to escape, and Pratt saw that as his only way out because the other way was blocked or something? The guard had opened it, Pratt followed.
User avatar #31242 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/24/2015) [-]
Pratt could have said something to stop him. A simple "probably not a good idea" would work...
User avatar #31004 - uptightmonkey (06/15/2015) [-]
1. agreed
2. they explained that they invested a shitload of money into it and did not to injure it
3. he was there mostly for comic relief
4. ever heard "a deer caught in the headlights"? he saw death in the eyes and his body froze from the shock. Plus him running away wouldn't make a difference
5. they were in the process of increasing the cages structural integrity
6. agreed
7. agreed
8. older kid went from being a cunt to make the younger brother happy because of the whole divorce thing
9. fair point but a tracking chip dug deep within the flesh isn't going anywhere.
10. agreed
11. she was looking for her nephews and seeing the little girl meet her mom sparked emotion in her

Also to note, the red head out running a t rex was bullshit
User avatar #31062 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/15/2015) [-]
2. In Lost World they captured a T-Rex with a tranquilizer dart
3. I don't want that in my Jurassic Park movie.
4. Fine.
5. But the reason why the structure wasn't secure in the first place is because they had no clue how smart it really was.
9. Tell that to the I-Rex, it makes no sense they released that thing early without understanding what it was capable of.
11. Her outrunning it isn't a stretch when you compare the other movies though.
1 - Ian running from Rex to the bathroom.
2 - Many Soldiers outrunning a rex and hiding in a waterfall
3 - Outrunning the Spinosauras at the large fence
it happens a lot.
#31063 - tranquilizer (06/15/2015) [-]
#31061 - hawaiianhappysauce has deleted their comment.
#30944 - Dr. Bad guy - The villain in the movie wants to mil…  [+] (9 new replies) 06/14/2015 on Television - cartoon... 0
User avatar #31230 - sphincterface (06/23/2015) [-]
Yeah I thought the dinosaur desk guy was too much of a tryhard to be Malcolm. I loved the movie though so whatever.
User avatar #30945 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/14/2015) [-]

Now I am done with the characters I think, so I will move onto dumb decisions these characters make or cringe moments:
1. Why did Chris Pratt open the I-Rex wall when Bryce said she can track it on the main computer, the entire problem would be avoided if he didn't do this.
2. They try to stop the I-Rex with... cattle prods? and of course, everyone dies. They thought cattle prods could be used to lure a dinosaur hybrid that was stronger than the T-Rex and take it down...
3. Going back to what I said earlier about the man who owned the park, practically every line made him look like a goof.
4. Guy has car behind him flipped open, just sits there and lets himself get eaten.
5. It's not a secret to tell that the base genome is T-Rex, but it's a secret that it's cuttlefish + raptor? Wouldn't it benefit the people building the cage to know that? Also, this thing attacked the glass and cracked it, no one thought that maybe that this thing is hard to contain or to replace the glass? Why didn't it continue hitting the glass, it was clearly working. I got an idea for the Rex, make a deep pit that it cannot climb out of and have underground tunnels to see it, sure it's expensive, but no walls / glass.
6. The I-rex survived a rocket.
7. The kids fix an old Jurassic Park car by basically replacing the battery.
8. Kids jumping off waterfall then laughing later, kids talking about divorce randomly, older kid having uncontrolled hormones in the movie, olderkid starting off passive then he suddenly becomes adventurous.
9. It seemed clear that the tracking chips would not stay in place consistently and they needed to change them routinely, why would this be an issue when they start getting tourists into the park?
10. You have these military people who "served in afganistan" but you cannot find a pilot for a helicopter?
11. Why does Bryce see a random family hugging and her looking away as if she feels bad for not having kids of her own? Who cares.

I can go on and on and I can't believe there are people on here who think this movie was over a 6/10.
User avatar #31233 - thedudeistheman (06/24/2015) [-]
Reply to this comment. I got logged out for some reason.
#31232 - anon (06/24/2015) [-]
I don't remember it very well, but I don't think Pratt opened the wall. Wasn't it the one guard trying to escape, and Pratt saw that as his only way out because the other way was blocked or something? The guard had opened it, Pratt followed.
User avatar #31242 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/24/2015) [-]
Pratt could have said something to stop him. A simple "probably not a good idea" would work...
User avatar #31004 - uptightmonkey (06/15/2015) [-]
1. agreed
2. they explained that they invested a shitload of money into it and did not to injure it
3. he was there mostly for comic relief
4. ever heard "a deer caught in the headlights"? he saw death in the eyes and his body froze from the shock. Plus him running away wouldn't make a difference
5. they were in the process of increasing the cages structural integrity
6. agreed
7. agreed
8. older kid went from being a cunt to make the younger brother happy because of the whole divorce thing
9. fair point but a tracking chip dug deep within the flesh isn't going anywhere.
10. agreed
11. she was looking for her nephews and seeing the little girl meet her mom sparked emotion in her

Also to note, the red head out running a t rex was bullshit
User avatar #31062 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/15/2015) [-]
2. In Lost World they captured a T-Rex with a tranquilizer dart
3. I don't want that in my Jurassic Park movie.
4. Fine.
5. But the reason why the structure wasn't secure in the first place is because they had no clue how smart it really was.
9. Tell that to the I-Rex, it makes no sense they released that thing early without understanding what it was capable of.
11. Her outrunning it isn't a stretch when you compare the other movies though.
1 - Ian running from Rex to the bathroom.
2 - Many Soldiers outrunning a rex and hiding in a waterfall
3 - Outrunning the Spinosauras at the large fence
it happens a lot.
#31063 - tranquilizer (06/15/2015) [-]
#31061 - hawaiianhappysauce has deleted their comment.
#30943 - I am going to point out every single flaw in this garbage of a…  [+] (11 new replies) 06/14/2015 on Television - cartoon... 0
#30947 - anon (06/14/2015) [-]
Still gonna watch it. Still gonna enjoy it. It's a movie about dinosaurs, I'm not gonna cherry pick it.
User avatar #30944 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/14/2015) [-]

Dr. Bad guy - The villain in the movie wants to militarize the dinosaurs, in particular the raptors. His character is so 1 dimensional, you could have replaced him with Dr. Evilston from Evil Avenue and no one would tell the difference. This guy is super hard core "lets make money and a difference with military stuff, and every time the park fails, I think of this as an opportunity to do my evil deeds, muhahahahahha. And because this movie is predictable as hell, you knew he was going to get killed by a Raptor.

The owner of the park - When I saw that he was going to fly the chopper that was going to shoot down the I-Rex, I just laughed. The owner of the park, the person who is in charge of everything, is incompetent. He has no clue what he is doing as both a character, and as an actor. He acts confused with little knowledge of what is going on throughout the whole movie, he doesn't even know anything about the I-Rex even though he OWNS THE WHOLE PARK. I guess he was comic relief? I would compare him to a poor mans Jar Jar (or a rich mans jar jar depending on what your goal is).

Bryce Howard - Her character was not horrible, but not great either. I think the major flaw is how she goes into a weak girl once Chris Pratt kisses her. I guess that's just his power.

Chris Pratt - His character was ok too, only problem is that he is barely in the movie.

The parents, mostly the mother - She was only in the movie for 4 minutes or so, but her reactions make no sense either. If something chases you, run? Horrible line. Then when she finds out her kids are ok, she asks if Bryce is ok... but in very awkward way. It would have been better if she slapped her and took her kids home, it's her fault she wasn't supervising them and that's why they got in trouble in the first place...

The guy who had dinosaur toys at his workplace - This guy I liked when after Bryce said "Indominous Rex, brought to you by verison." Basically saying how horrible that sounds and we might as well name our dinosaurs after corporations, we already do this with sports. Then he starts talking about his admiration of the older park, and at this point I am thinking, this guy best summarizes the comparison to these two movies. I can respect the older one, not this one. Unfortunately, this guy's role is weakened over time. He becomes a poor man's (and by poor I mean homeless), Ian Malcolm.

Wu - the only character from the original, I will talk more about him soon.

Overall, almost no characters had a story arc. I guess Bryce does, goes from uptight but organized woman to caring and motherly and loving and attracted to Pratt. But that is it. I forgot about one thing about the kids. They were in this train and they bring up their parents divorce... um... who cares? The kid is crying (poorly done crying), over divorce, but not over a dinosaur nearly killing him? Also, why bring this up now? Why put this in the movie? No one is going to care about this.
User avatar #31230 - sphincterface (06/23/2015) [-]
Yeah I thought the dinosaur desk guy was too much of a tryhard to be Malcolm. I loved the movie though so whatever.
User avatar #30945 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/14/2015) [-]

Now I am done with the characters I think, so I will move onto dumb decisions these characters make or cringe moments:
1. Why did Chris Pratt open the I-Rex wall when Bryce said she can track it on the main computer, the entire problem would be avoided if he didn't do this.
2. They try to stop the I-Rex with... cattle prods? and of course, everyone dies. They thought cattle prods could be used to lure a dinosaur hybrid that was stronger than the T-Rex and take it down...
3. Going back to what I said earlier about the man who owned the park, practically every line made him look like a goof.
4. Guy has car behind him flipped open, just sits there and lets himself get eaten.
5. It's not a secret to tell that the base genome is T-Rex, but it's a secret that it's cuttlefish + raptor? Wouldn't it benefit the people building the cage to know that? Also, this thing attacked the glass and cracked it, no one thought that maybe that this thing is hard to contain or to replace the glass? Why didn't it continue hitting the glass, it was clearly working. I got an idea for the Rex, make a deep pit that it cannot climb out of and have underground tunnels to see it, sure it's expensive, but no walls / glass.
6. The I-rex survived a rocket.
7. The kids fix an old Jurassic Park car by basically replacing the battery.
8. Kids jumping off waterfall then laughing later, kids talking about divorce randomly, older kid having uncontrolled hormones in the movie, olderkid starting off passive then he suddenly becomes adventurous.
9. It seemed clear that the tracking chips would not stay in place consistently and they needed to change them routinely, why would this be an issue when they start getting tourists into the park?
10. You have these military people who "served in afganistan" but you cannot find a pilot for a helicopter?
11. Why does Bryce see a random family hugging and her looking away as if she feels bad for not having kids of her own? Who cares.

I can go on and on and I can't believe there are people on here who think this movie was over a 6/10.
User avatar #31233 - thedudeistheman (06/24/2015) [-]
Reply to this comment. I got logged out for some reason.
#31232 - anon (06/24/2015) [-]
I don't remember it very well, but I don't think Pratt opened the wall. Wasn't it the one guard trying to escape, and Pratt saw that as his only way out because the other way was blocked or something? The guard had opened it, Pratt followed.
User avatar #31242 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/24/2015) [-]
Pratt could have said something to stop him. A simple "probably not a good idea" would work...
User avatar #31004 - uptightmonkey (06/15/2015) [-]
1. agreed
2. they explained that they invested a shitload of money into it and did not to injure it
3. he was there mostly for comic relief
4. ever heard "a deer caught in the headlights"? he saw death in the eyes and his body froze from the shock. Plus him running away wouldn't make a difference
5. they were in the process of increasing the cages structural integrity
6. agreed
7. agreed
8. older kid went from being a cunt to make the younger brother happy because of the whole divorce thing
9. fair point but a tracking chip dug deep within the flesh isn't going anywhere.
10. agreed
11. she was looking for her nephews and seeing the little girl meet her mom sparked emotion in her

Also to note, the red head out running a t rex was bullshit
User avatar #31062 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/15/2015) [-]
2. In Lost World they captured a T-Rex with a tranquilizer dart
3. I don't want that in my Jurassic Park movie.
4. Fine.
5. But the reason why the structure wasn't secure in the first place is because they had no clue how smart it really was.
9. Tell that to the I-Rex, it makes no sense they released that thing early without understanding what it was capable of.
11. Her outrunning it isn't a stretch when you compare the other movies though.
1 - Ian running from Rex to the bathroom.
2 - Many Soldiers outrunning a rex and hiding in a waterfall
3 - Outrunning the Spinosauras at the large fence
it happens a lot.
#31063 - tranquilizer (06/15/2015) [-]
#31061 - hawaiianhappysauce has deleted their comment.
#202 - I can confirm this. I am 5'10 and above the center of my door… 06/14/2015 on 4chan height detectives 0
#47934 - 5 fouls, now i know it's rigged, they never foul him. 06/13/2015 on Sports - sports news, news... 0
#21 - First thing I thought of when I saw that. 06/12/2015 on AWKWARD +5
#30882 - im guessing you live in Europe. It's ******* retarded …  [+] (1 new reply) 06/12/2015 on Television - cartoon... 0
#30885 - altairtheassassin (06/12/2015) [-]
No I dont live in Europe, and the world doesnt revolve around America.

We always get films earlier than you guys so LOL.
#33 - I didn't see the movie, but I knew how the movie was going to … 06/11/2015 on Why they don't eat him -2
#30863 - Yes, but the beer lines were out of nowhere and the Kingsman o… 06/11/2015 on Television - cartoon... 0
#30850 - George: Well I just got back from posting on /tv/. And there w…  [+] (1 new reply) 06/11/2015 on Television - cartoon... +1
User avatar #30870 - machiavellianhumor (06/11/2015) [-]
so like rhaz al ghul is a soup nazi
#30849 - Kramer: Hey, what are you doing? Jerry: Oh, I'm delet…  [+] (2 new replies) 06/11/2015 on Television - cartoon... +1
User avatar #30850 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
George: Well I just got back from posting on /tv/. And there was a waifu thread...

Jerry: Oh... You mean... cunny.

George: Yes. Significant cunny!

Jerry: So you feel you are an ebophile?

George: Yes! I mean, if she thinks I'm a pedo she's under a complete misapprehension. That was not me, Jerry. That was not me.

Jerry: Well, so what's the difference?

George: What if she discusses it with Jane?

Jerry: Oh, she's not gonna tell Jane.

George: How do you know?

Jerry: Women aren't like us.

George: They're worse! They're much worse than us, they talk about everything! Couldn't you at least tell her about the difference between pedophilia and ebophilia?

Jerry: No, I'm not gonna tell her about your perversion. Besides, I think women know about ebophilia.

George: How do women know about ebophilia? (They see Elaine walking down the hall) Elaine! Get! (She enters) Do women know about ebophilia?

Elaine: What do you mean, like child porn?

George: No.

Jerry: Like when a girl is a teen... over 13...

Elaine: You mean like kids?

Jerry: Like teenagers!
User avatar #30870 - machiavellianhumor (06/11/2015) [-]
so like rhaz al ghul is a soup nazi
#30848 - GEORGE: Hey, /tv/ Boys. STEVEN: So, Mister Costanza, …  [+] (3 new replies) 06/11/2015 on Television - cartoon... +1
User avatar #30849 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
Kramer: Hey, what are you doing?

Jerry: Oh, I'm deleting this thread. It came undone when someome started talking about black IQ levels. That's the end of that.

Kramer: Did you see Reddit's general last night? 'Cause I read on the Internet they memed.

Jerry: They memed. They only do well when they have /tv/ for dank memes. He's an SJW shill.

Kramer: Well, you gotta give him some credit. (starts posting pics of Brendan Frasers face) You're just being totally ridiculous. (keeps posting) I'll see you later buddy.

Jerry: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute.

Kramer: What?

Jerry: Do I have to ask?

Kramer: Brendan's alimony is really high so im going to meme about it. Anything else, Mr. Nosy?

(Kramer starts to post, Jerry grabs the mouse by the cord and drags it back.)

Jerry: Why is his alimony so high?

Kramer: She FUCKED HIS SHIT UP.

Jerry: Oh Moses smell the roses.

Kramer: Jerry, it's vastly superior to any conventional shitposting. Now post yfw.
User avatar #30850 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
George: Well I just got back from posting on /tv/. And there was a waifu thread...

Jerry: Oh... You mean... cunny.

George: Yes. Significant cunny!

Jerry: So you feel you are an ebophile?

George: Yes! I mean, if she thinks I'm a pedo she's under a complete misapprehension. That was not me, Jerry. That was not me.

Jerry: Well, so what's the difference?

George: What if she discusses it with Jane?

Jerry: Oh, she's not gonna tell Jane.

George: How do you know?

Jerry: Women aren't like us.

George: They're worse! They're much worse than us, they talk about everything! Couldn't you at least tell her about the difference between pedophilia and ebophilia?

Jerry: No, I'm not gonna tell her about your perversion. Besides, I think women know about ebophilia.

George: How do women know about ebophilia? (They see Elaine walking down the hall) Elaine! Get! (She enters) Do women know about ebophilia?

Elaine: What do you mean, like child porn?

George: No.

Jerry: Like when a girl is a teen... over 13...

Elaine: You mean like kids?

Jerry: Like teenagers!
User avatar #30870 - machiavellianhumor (06/11/2015) [-]
so like rhaz al ghul is a soup nazi
#30847 - Jerry is in his apartment, cleaning up. Kramer bursts through …  [+] (4 new replies) 06/11/2015 on Television - cartoon... +1
#30848 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
GEORGE: Hey, /tv/ Boys.

STEVEN: So, Mister Costanza, I heard you were an oldfag?

GEORGE: Now, fellas, fellas.. easy. You wouldn't want to troll one of your own.

MEMBER 2: Is that right? Then why don't you post a triforce?

GEORGE: Right.. the triforce...

^
^^

STEVEN: That's not a triforce.

GEORGE: (Defensively loud) It was when I was shitposting!
User avatar #30849 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
Kramer: Hey, what are you doing?

Jerry: Oh, I'm deleting this thread. It came undone when someome started talking about black IQ levels. That's the end of that.

Kramer: Did you see Reddit's general last night? 'Cause I read on the Internet they memed.

Jerry: They memed. They only do well when they have /tv/ for dank memes. He's an SJW shill.

Kramer: Well, you gotta give him some credit. (starts posting pics of Brendan Frasers face) You're just being totally ridiculous. (keeps posting) I'll see you later buddy.

Jerry: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute.

Kramer: What?

Jerry: Do I have to ask?

Kramer: Brendan's alimony is really high so im going to meme about it. Anything else, Mr. Nosy?

(Kramer starts to post, Jerry grabs the mouse by the cord and drags it back.)

Jerry: Why is his alimony so high?

Kramer: She FUCKED HIS SHIT UP.

Jerry: Oh Moses smell the roses.

Kramer: Jerry, it's vastly superior to any conventional shitposting. Now post yfw.
User avatar #30850 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
George: Well I just got back from posting on /tv/. And there was a waifu thread...

Jerry: Oh... You mean... cunny.

George: Yes. Significant cunny!

Jerry: So you feel you are an ebophile?

George: Yes! I mean, if she thinks I'm a pedo she's under a complete misapprehension. That was not me, Jerry. That was not me.

Jerry: Well, so what's the difference?

George: What if she discusses it with Jane?

Jerry: Oh, she's not gonna tell Jane.

George: How do you know?

Jerry: Women aren't like us.

George: They're worse! They're much worse than us, they talk about everything! Couldn't you at least tell her about the difference between pedophilia and ebophilia?

Jerry: No, I'm not gonna tell her about your perversion. Besides, I think women know about ebophilia.

George: How do women know about ebophilia? (They see Elaine walking down the hall) Elaine! Get! (She enters) Do women know about ebophilia?

Elaine: What do you mean, like child porn?

George: No.

Jerry: Like when a girl is a teen... over 13...

Elaine: You mean like kids?

Jerry: Like teenagers!
User avatar #30870 - machiavellianhumor (06/11/2015) [-]
so like rhaz al ghul is a soup nazi
#30846 - Jerry: Hey, George, you know Tim Whatley. George: Yea…  [+] (5 new replies) 06/11/2015 on Television - cartoon... +1
User avatar #30847 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
Jerry is in his apartment, cleaning up. Kramer bursts through the door. He's covered in bruises, and his shirt is torn.

Kramer (absent mindedly): Oh, hey Jerry.
Jerry: Kramer! Are you alright? You look like you've been beat up or something.
Kramer: What? Oh, uh, it's nothing. I'm fine.

Kramer begins pacing back and forth.

Jerry: You sure?
Kramer (nervously): Yeah, I'm sure.
Jerry: Alright, then.

Jerry continues tidying up.

Kramer (loudly): Okay! I'll tell you then!

Jerry stops.

Jerry: What is it?

Kramer: It was horrible! They were vicious!

Jerry: Were you mugged? Was it a gang? Have you been spending time with those Van Buren boys again?
Kramer: No, Jerry! I swear! There were three of them. They-they said to me, "Hey mister, buy us some tequila or you're gonna regret it." But they were obviously just kids, so I blew 'em off and kept on walking.
Jerry: Who were they?
Kramer: They swarmed at me with their tiny little fists. Have you ever been swarmed? It's the worst!
Jerry: You should go to the police.
Kramer: You don't understand, I did. I found a beat cop and told him what happened!
Jerry: And?
Kramer: He laughed at me, Jerry! He laughed!
Jerry: Why?
Kramer: Because I told him-- I told him-
Jerry: What? What?
Kramer: It was those three little girls! You know the ones. The ones with the creepy baby faces, they dress up like adults, they hang out on 13th and Broadway.
Jerry: Jordyn did this? No way. I don't believe you. She's literally perfection, you know.
Kramer: You gotta believe me, man!
The door opens. George walks in, shirt torn up, covered in bruises. George looks at Kramer for a second before looking away, upset.
Jerry: And what happened to you?
George: I don't -- I don't want to talk about it.
Kramer: It happened to you too, didn't it George?
George: I said, I don't want to talk about it.
Jerry: Oh, brother.
Kramer: These cunnies... they're outta control!
#30848 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
GEORGE: Hey, /tv/ Boys.

STEVEN: So, Mister Costanza, I heard you were an oldfag?

GEORGE: Now, fellas, fellas.. easy. You wouldn't want to troll one of your own.

MEMBER 2: Is that right? Then why don't you post a triforce?

GEORGE: Right.. the triforce...

^
^^

STEVEN: That's not a triforce.

GEORGE: (Defensively loud) It was when I was shitposting!
User avatar #30849 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
Kramer: Hey, what are you doing?

Jerry: Oh, I'm deleting this thread. It came undone when someome started talking about black IQ levels. That's the end of that.

Kramer: Did you see Reddit's general last night? 'Cause I read on the Internet they memed.

Jerry: They memed. They only do well when they have /tv/ for dank memes. He's an SJW shill.

Kramer: Well, you gotta give him some credit. (starts posting pics of Brendan Frasers face) You're just being totally ridiculous. (keeps posting) I'll see you later buddy.

Jerry: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute.

Kramer: What?

Jerry: Do I have to ask?

Kramer: Brendan's alimony is really high so im going to meme about it. Anything else, Mr. Nosy?

(Kramer starts to post, Jerry grabs the mouse by the cord and drags it back.)

Jerry: Why is his alimony so high?

Kramer: She FUCKED HIS SHIT UP.

Jerry: Oh Moses smell the roses.

Kramer: Jerry, it's vastly superior to any conventional shitposting. Now post yfw.
User avatar #30850 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
George: Well I just got back from posting on /tv/. And there was a waifu thread...

Jerry: Oh... You mean... cunny.

George: Yes. Significant cunny!

Jerry: So you feel you are an ebophile?

George: Yes! I mean, if she thinks I'm a pedo she's under a complete misapprehension. That was not me, Jerry. That was not me.

Jerry: Well, so what's the difference?

George: What if she discusses it with Jane?

Jerry: Oh, she's not gonna tell Jane.

George: How do you know?

Jerry: Women aren't like us.

George: They're worse! They're much worse than us, they talk about everything! Couldn't you at least tell her about the difference between pedophilia and ebophilia?

Jerry: No, I'm not gonna tell her about your perversion. Besides, I think women know about ebophilia.

George: How do women know about ebophilia? (They see Elaine walking down the hall) Elaine! Get! (She enters) Do women know about ebophilia?

Elaine: What do you mean, like child porn?

George: No.

Jerry: Like when a girl is a teen... over 13...

Elaine: You mean like kids?

Jerry: Like teenagers!
User avatar #30870 - machiavellianhumor (06/11/2015) [-]
so like rhaz al ghul is a soup nazi
#30845 - George: Did you see what just happened? Jerry: Well, …  [+] (6 new replies) 06/11/2015 on Television - cartoon... +1
User avatar #30846 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
Jerry: Hey, George, you know Tim Whatley.

George: Yeah, dentist of the stars.

Jerry: What's up?

Tim: I'll tell you what's up. I'm baneposting.

Jerry: Excuse me?

Tim: I'm baneposting. I finished making a thread two minutes ago.

Jerry: Well... (Thinking of something to say) Welcome to /tv/

Tim: Thanks.

George: Hey, where you just at /v/?

Tim: Oh, well, I didn't do much. I just shitpost in threads. You know, it was more like a Dr. Pavel shitpost. I'll see ya. (Jerry and George give confused looks)

Elaine and Jerry at his place.

Jerry: Elaine, the guy's on /tv/ two days, he's already baneposting.

Elaine: So what? When someone comes to 4chan, they usually shit post the first night.

Jerry: Shit posting is not a religion.

Elaine: Tell that to my plebbit.
User avatar #30847 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
Jerry is in his apartment, cleaning up. Kramer bursts through the door. He's covered in bruises, and his shirt is torn.

Kramer (absent mindedly): Oh, hey Jerry.
Jerry: Kramer! Are you alright? You look like you've been beat up or something.
Kramer: What? Oh, uh, it's nothing. I'm fine.

Kramer begins pacing back and forth.

Jerry: You sure?
Kramer (nervously): Yeah, I'm sure.
Jerry: Alright, then.

Jerry continues tidying up.

Kramer (loudly): Okay! I'll tell you then!

Jerry stops.

Jerry: What is it?

Kramer: It was horrible! They were vicious!

Jerry: Were you mugged? Was it a gang? Have you been spending time with those Van Buren boys again?
Kramer: No, Jerry! I swear! There were three of them. They-they said to me, "Hey mister, buy us some tequila or you're gonna regret it." But they were obviously just kids, so I blew 'em off and kept on walking.
Jerry: Who were they?
Kramer: They swarmed at me with their tiny little fists. Have you ever been swarmed? It's the worst!
Jerry: You should go to the police.
Kramer: You don't understand, I did. I found a beat cop and told him what happened!
Jerry: And?
Kramer: He laughed at me, Jerry! He laughed!
Jerry: Why?
Kramer: Because I told him-- I told him-
Jerry: What? What?
Kramer: It was those three little girls! You know the ones. The ones with the creepy baby faces, they dress up like adults, they hang out on 13th and Broadway.
Jerry: Jordyn did this? No way. I don't believe you. She's literally perfection, you know.
Kramer: You gotta believe me, man!
The door opens. George walks in, shirt torn up, covered in bruises. George looks at Kramer for a second before looking away, upset.
Jerry: And what happened to you?
George: I don't -- I don't want to talk about it.
Kramer: It happened to you too, didn't it George?
George: I said, I don't want to talk about it.
Jerry: Oh, brother.
Kramer: These cunnies... they're outta control!
#30848 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
GEORGE: Hey, /tv/ Boys.

STEVEN: So, Mister Costanza, I heard you were an oldfag?

GEORGE: Now, fellas, fellas.. easy. You wouldn't want to troll one of your own.

MEMBER 2: Is that right? Then why don't you post a triforce?

GEORGE: Right.. the triforce...

^
^^

STEVEN: That's not a triforce.

GEORGE: (Defensively loud) It was when I was shitposting!
User avatar #30849 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
Kramer: Hey, what are you doing?

Jerry: Oh, I'm deleting this thread. It came undone when someome started talking about black IQ levels. That's the end of that.

Kramer: Did you see Reddit's general last night? 'Cause I read on the Internet they memed.

Jerry: They memed. They only do well when they have /tv/ for dank memes. He's an SJW shill.

Kramer: Well, you gotta give him some credit. (starts posting pics of Brendan Frasers face) You're just being totally ridiculous. (keeps posting) I'll see you later buddy.

Jerry: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute.

Kramer: What?

Jerry: Do I have to ask?

Kramer: Brendan's alimony is really high so im going to meme about it. Anything else, Mr. Nosy?

(Kramer starts to post, Jerry grabs the mouse by the cord and drags it back.)

Jerry: Why is his alimony so high?

Kramer: She FUCKED HIS SHIT UP.

Jerry: Oh Moses smell the roses.

Kramer: Jerry, it's vastly superior to any conventional shitposting. Now post yfw.
User avatar #30850 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
George: Well I just got back from posting on /tv/. And there was a waifu thread...

Jerry: Oh... You mean... cunny.

George: Yes. Significant cunny!

Jerry: So you feel you are an ebophile?

George: Yes! I mean, if she thinks I'm a pedo she's under a complete misapprehension. That was not me, Jerry. That was not me.

Jerry: Well, so what's the difference?

George: What if she discusses it with Jane?

Jerry: Oh, she's not gonna tell Jane.

George: How do you know?

Jerry: Women aren't like us.

George: They're worse! They're much worse than us, they talk about everything! Couldn't you at least tell her about the difference between pedophilia and ebophilia?

Jerry: No, I'm not gonna tell her about your perversion. Besides, I think women know about ebophilia.

George: How do women know about ebophilia? (They see Elaine walking down the hall) Elaine! Get! (She enters) Do women know about ebophilia?

Elaine: What do you mean, like child porn?

George: No.

Jerry: Like when a girl is a teen... over 13...

Elaine: You mean like kids?

Jerry: Like teenagers!
User avatar #30870 - machiavellianhumor (06/11/2015) [-]
so like rhaz al ghul is a soup nazi
#30844 - Kramer: So did you see the new Mad Max movie? It's great! It's…  [+] (7 new replies) 06/11/2015 on Television - cartoon... +2
User avatar #30845 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
George: Did you see what just happened?

Jerry: Well, that all depends. . .

George: Did you happen to notice that Julie said "big guy" to Elaine?

Jerry: Yeah, so?

George: Well, she didn't see The Dark Knight. I saw The Dark Knight.

Jerry: Is that a fact?

George: Yes it is. She just took credit for my meme. That's not right.

Jerry: No it isn't.

George: I mean I'm the one who said it.

Jerry: Yes you did.

George: You think she should have said something?

Jerry: She could have.

George: Oh, I know.

Jerry: Imagine, her taking credit for your big guy.

George: You know you start a dank meme for somebody it would be nice if they knew it.

Jerry: Obviously.
User avatar #30846 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
Jerry: Hey, George, you know Tim Whatley.

George: Yeah, dentist of the stars.

Jerry: What's up?

Tim: I'll tell you what's up. I'm baneposting.

Jerry: Excuse me?

Tim: I'm baneposting. I finished making a thread two minutes ago.

Jerry: Well... (Thinking of something to say) Welcome to /tv/

Tim: Thanks.

George: Hey, where you just at /v/?

Tim: Oh, well, I didn't do much. I just shitpost in threads. You know, it was more like a Dr. Pavel shitpost. I'll see ya. (Jerry and George give confused looks)

Elaine and Jerry at his place.

Jerry: Elaine, the guy's on /tv/ two days, he's already baneposting.

Elaine: So what? When someone comes to 4chan, they usually shit post the first night.

Jerry: Shit posting is not a religion.

Elaine: Tell that to my plebbit.
User avatar #30847 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
Jerry is in his apartment, cleaning up. Kramer bursts through the door. He's covered in bruises, and his shirt is torn.

Kramer (absent mindedly): Oh, hey Jerry.
Jerry: Kramer! Are you alright? You look like you've been beat up or something.
Kramer: What? Oh, uh, it's nothing. I'm fine.

Kramer begins pacing back and forth.

Jerry: You sure?
Kramer (nervously): Yeah, I'm sure.
Jerry: Alright, then.

Jerry continues tidying up.

Kramer (loudly): Okay! I'll tell you then!

Jerry stops.

Jerry: What is it?

Kramer: It was horrible! They were vicious!

Jerry: Were you mugged? Was it a gang? Have you been spending time with those Van Buren boys again?
Kramer: No, Jerry! I swear! There were three of them. They-they said to me, "Hey mister, buy us some tequila or you're gonna regret it." But they were obviously just kids, so I blew 'em off and kept on walking.
Jerry: Who were they?
Kramer: They swarmed at me with their tiny little fists. Have you ever been swarmed? It's the worst!
Jerry: You should go to the police.
Kramer: You don't understand, I did. I found a beat cop and told him what happened!
Jerry: And?
Kramer: He laughed at me, Jerry! He laughed!
Jerry: Why?
Kramer: Because I told him-- I told him-
Jerry: What? What?
Kramer: It was those three little girls! You know the ones. The ones with the creepy baby faces, they dress up like adults, they hang out on 13th and Broadway.
Jerry: Jordyn did this? No way. I don't believe you. She's literally perfection, you know.
Kramer: You gotta believe me, man!
The door opens. George walks in, shirt torn up, covered in bruises. George looks at Kramer for a second before looking away, upset.
Jerry: And what happened to you?
George: I don't -- I don't want to talk about it.
Kramer: It happened to you too, didn't it George?
George: I said, I don't want to talk about it.
Jerry: Oh, brother.
Kramer: These cunnies... they're outta control!
#30848 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
GEORGE: Hey, /tv/ Boys.

STEVEN: So, Mister Costanza, I heard you were an oldfag?

GEORGE: Now, fellas, fellas.. easy. You wouldn't want to troll one of your own.

MEMBER 2: Is that right? Then why don't you post a triforce?

GEORGE: Right.. the triforce...

^
^^

STEVEN: That's not a triforce.

GEORGE: (Defensively loud) It was when I was shitposting!
User avatar #30849 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
Kramer: Hey, what are you doing?

Jerry: Oh, I'm deleting this thread. It came undone when someome started talking about black IQ levels. That's the end of that.

Kramer: Did you see Reddit's general last night? 'Cause I read on the Internet they memed.

Jerry: They memed. They only do well when they have /tv/ for dank memes. He's an SJW shill.

Kramer: Well, you gotta give him some credit. (starts posting pics of Brendan Frasers face) You're just being totally ridiculous. (keeps posting) I'll see you later buddy.

Jerry: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute.

Kramer: What?

Jerry: Do I have to ask?

Kramer: Brendan's alimony is really high so im going to meme about it. Anything else, Mr. Nosy?

(Kramer starts to post, Jerry grabs the mouse by the cord and drags it back.)

Jerry: Why is his alimony so high?

Kramer: She FUCKED HIS SHIT UP.

Jerry: Oh Moses smell the roses.

Kramer: Jerry, it's vastly superior to any conventional shitposting. Now post yfw.
User avatar #30850 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
George: Well I just got back from posting on /tv/. And there was a waifu thread...

Jerry: Oh... You mean... cunny.

George: Yes. Significant cunny!

Jerry: So you feel you are an ebophile?

George: Yes! I mean, if she thinks I'm a pedo she's under a complete misapprehension. That was not me, Jerry. That was not me.

Jerry: Well, so what's the difference?

George: What if she discusses it with Jane?

Jerry: Oh, she's not gonna tell Jane.

George: How do you know?

Jerry: Women aren't like us.

George: They're worse! They're much worse than us, they talk about everything! Couldn't you at least tell her about the difference between pedophilia and ebophilia?

Jerry: No, I'm not gonna tell her about your perversion. Besides, I think women know about ebophilia.

George: How do women know about ebophilia? (They see Elaine walking down the hall) Elaine! Get! (She enters) Do women know about ebophilia?

Elaine: What do you mean, like child porn?

George: No.

Jerry: Like when a girl is a teen... over 13...

Elaine: You mean like kids?

Jerry: Like teenagers!
User avatar #30870 - machiavellianhumor (06/11/2015) [-]
so like rhaz al ghul is a soup nazi
#30843 - Elaine: "You're not going to believe this." Jerr…  [+] (8 new replies) 06/11/2015 on Television - cartoon... +2
#30844 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
Kramer: So did you see the new Mad Max movie? It's great! It's the rebirth of action movies. Trust me, you'll love it!
George: No! And you know why I didn't? Because George Costanza is not a cuckold.
Elaine, Jerry, and Kramer are incredulous.
Jerry: Okay, I've gotta hear this. How would watching an action movie make you a cuckold?
George (upset): It's.. it's those damned SJWs.
Kramer: SJWs.
George: Yes! Social justice warriors. SJWs. They're forcing every movie and television show to have strong, female characters, because everything is, is, is triggering them! It's disgusting, and I won't stand for it. I will not be a cuckold.
Elaine: And why do you think it's disgusting? Do you have something against strong, female characters?
George: Well no, its-
Kramer: It's the movie of the century, George. Everybody loves it.
George: Will you let me just-
Jerry: You told me the other day that you were sick of how all these mindless CGI-filled movies were destroying cinema. And now you hate a movie just because it has strong women characters? Sounds like you're the one getting triggered here, Georgie.
George: Excuse me?
Jerry: You heard me.
George: I do not get triggered. Okay? I'm the triggerer, alright? End of discussion.
Elaine: I still don't understand this whole SJW-cuckold connection.
Kramer: My buddy, Bob Sacamano? Actually, he's into that whole cuckolding thing. But he's no SJW. And he hated Mad Max! Said there weren't enough bucks for his taste, whatever that means.
Jerry: It's just a movie, George. You can handle it. You're a big guy.
George (defeated): For you.
User avatar #30845 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
George: Did you see what just happened?

Jerry: Well, that all depends. . .

George: Did you happen to notice that Julie said "big guy" to Elaine?

Jerry: Yeah, so?

George: Well, she didn't see The Dark Knight. I saw The Dark Knight.

Jerry: Is that a fact?

George: Yes it is. She just took credit for my meme. That's not right.

Jerry: No it isn't.

George: I mean I'm the one who said it.

Jerry: Yes you did.

George: You think she should have said something?

Jerry: She could have.

George: Oh, I know.

Jerry: Imagine, her taking credit for your big guy.

George: You know you start a dank meme for somebody it would be nice if they knew it.

Jerry: Obviously.
User avatar #30846 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
Jerry: Hey, George, you know Tim Whatley.

George: Yeah, dentist of the stars.

Jerry: What's up?

Tim: I'll tell you what's up. I'm baneposting.

Jerry: Excuse me?

Tim: I'm baneposting. I finished making a thread two minutes ago.

Jerry: Well... (Thinking of something to say) Welcome to /tv/

Tim: Thanks.

George: Hey, where you just at /v/?

Tim: Oh, well, I didn't do much. I just shitpost in threads. You know, it was more like a Dr. Pavel shitpost. I'll see ya. (Jerry and George give confused looks)

Elaine and Jerry at his place.

Jerry: Elaine, the guy's on /tv/ two days, he's already baneposting.

Elaine: So what? When someone comes to 4chan, they usually shit post the first night.

Jerry: Shit posting is not a religion.

Elaine: Tell that to my plebbit.
User avatar #30847 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
Jerry is in his apartment, cleaning up. Kramer bursts through the door. He's covered in bruises, and his shirt is torn.

Kramer (absent mindedly): Oh, hey Jerry.
Jerry: Kramer! Are you alright? You look like you've been beat up or something.
Kramer: What? Oh, uh, it's nothing. I'm fine.

Kramer begins pacing back and forth.

Jerry: You sure?
Kramer (nervously): Yeah, I'm sure.
Jerry: Alright, then.

Jerry continues tidying up.

Kramer (loudly): Okay! I'll tell you then!

Jerry stops.

Jerry: What is it?

Kramer: It was horrible! They were vicious!

Jerry: Were you mugged? Was it a gang? Have you been spending time with those Van Buren boys again?
Kramer: No, Jerry! I swear! There were three of them. They-they said to me, "Hey mister, buy us some tequila or you're gonna regret it." But they were obviously just kids, so I blew 'em off and kept on walking.
Jerry: Who were they?
Kramer: They swarmed at me with their tiny little fists. Have you ever been swarmed? It's the worst!
Jerry: You should go to the police.
Kramer: You don't understand, I did. I found a beat cop and told him what happened!
Jerry: And?
Kramer: He laughed at me, Jerry! He laughed!
Jerry: Why?
Kramer: Because I told him-- I told him-
Jerry: What? What?
Kramer: It was those three little girls! You know the ones. The ones with the creepy baby faces, they dress up like adults, they hang out on 13th and Broadway.
Jerry: Jordyn did this? No way. I don't believe you. She's literally perfection, you know.
Kramer: You gotta believe me, man!
The door opens. George walks in, shirt torn up, covered in bruises. George looks at Kramer for a second before looking away, upset.
Jerry: And what happened to you?
George: I don't -- I don't want to talk about it.
Kramer: It happened to you too, didn't it George?
George: I said, I don't want to talk about it.
Jerry: Oh, brother.
Kramer: These cunnies... they're outta control!
#30848 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
GEORGE: Hey, /tv/ Boys.

STEVEN: So, Mister Costanza, I heard you were an oldfag?

GEORGE: Now, fellas, fellas.. easy. You wouldn't want to troll one of your own.

MEMBER 2: Is that right? Then why don't you post a triforce?

GEORGE: Right.. the triforce...

^
^^

STEVEN: That's not a triforce.

GEORGE: (Defensively loud) It was when I was shitposting!
User avatar #30849 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
Kramer: Hey, what are you doing?

Jerry: Oh, I'm deleting this thread. It came undone when someome started talking about black IQ levels. That's the end of that.

Kramer: Did you see Reddit's general last night? 'Cause I read on the Internet they memed.

Jerry: They memed. They only do well when they have /tv/ for dank memes. He's an SJW shill.

Kramer: Well, you gotta give him some credit. (starts posting pics of Brendan Frasers face) You're just being totally ridiculous. (keeps posting) I'll see you later buddy.

Jerry: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute.

Kramer: What?

Jerry: Do I have to ask?

Kramer: Brendan's alimony is really high so im going to meme about it. Anything else, Mr. Nosy?

(Kramer starts to post, Jerry grabs the mouse by the cord and drags it back.)

Jerry: Why is his alimony so high?

Kramer: She FUCKED HIS SHIT UP.

Jerry: Oh Moses smell the roses.

Kramer: Jerry, it's vastly superior to any conventional shitposting. Now post yfw.
User avatar #30850 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
George: Well I just got back from posting on /tv/. And there was a waifu thread...

Jerry: Oh... You mean... cunny.

George: Yes. Significant cunny!

Jerry: So you feel you are an ebophile?

George: Yes! I mean, if she thinks I'm a pedo she's under a complete misapprehension. That was not me, Jerry. That was not me.

Jerry: Well, so what's the difference?

George: What if she discusses it with Jane?

Jerry: Oh, she's not gonna tell Jane.

George: How do you know?

Jerry: Women aren't like us.

George: They're worse! They're much worse than us, they talk about everything! Couldn't you at least tell her about the difference between pedophilia and ebophilia?

Jerry: No, I'm not gonna tell her about your perversion. Besides, I think women know about ebophilia.

George: How do women know about ebophilia? (They see Elaine walking down the hall) Elaine! Get! (She enters) Do women know about ebophilia?

Elaine: What do you mean, like child porn?

George: No.

Jerry: Like when a girl is a teen... over 13...

Elaine: You mean like kids?

Jerry: Like teenagers!
User avatar #30870 - machiavellianhumor (06/11/2015) [-]
so like rhaz al ghul is a soup nazi
#30842 - Found this on 4chan. Could not stop laughing George:…  [+] (9 new replies) 06/11/2015 on Television - cartoon... +2
#30843 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
Elaine: "You're not going to believe this."
Jerry: "What happened?"
Elaine: "You remember Bill? Talia's friend? Anyway, so we had our third date last night."
Jerry: "Oh yeah? How'd it go?"
Elaine: "The date was fine, we had dinner and drinks, he invites me up to his place. And you won't believe what I saw."
Jerry: "What?"
Elaine: "Well I asked to use his computer real quick, because I had a work email and my phone had just run out of power. But there's this folder called, 'teevee cunny'."
Jerry: "Cunny? What's that.. like Coney Island? Rabbits?"
Elaine: "No, Jerry. It was full of photos and videos of little girls."
Jerry: "Like child porn?"
Elaine: "That's the thing, it was just normal photos. I think one of them was on The Walking Dead, you know, that zombie show? Anyways, it had to be hundreds of files. Over a gigabyte."
Jerry: "A gigabyte?!"
Elaine: "A gigabyte, Jerry. Of little girls! What kind of man likes these.. these cunnies?"
Jerry averts his eyes for a second.
Elaine: "Wait a second. Did you- do you like cunnies? Is this a thing? Grown men liking cunnies?"
Jerry: "Well..."
Elaine: "You're a sick man, Jerome."
Elaine gets up and storms out the apartment.
Jerry shouts out the door: "It's perfectly legal! Y-you just don't get it! They're PURE, Elaine! Pure waifus!"
#30844 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
Kramer: So did you see the new Mad Max movie? It's great! It's the rebirth of action movies. Trust me, you'll love it!
George: No! And you know why I didn't? Because George Costanza is not a cuckold.
Elaine, Jerry, and Kramer are incredulous.
Jerry: Okay, I've gotta hear this. How would watching an action movie make you a cuckold?
George (upset): It's.. it's those damned SJWs.
Kramer: SJWs.
George: Yes! Social justice warriors. SJWs. They're forcing every movie and television show to have strong, female characters, because everything is, is, is triggering them! It's disgusting, and I won't stand for it. I will not be a cuckold.
Elaine: And why do you think it's disgusting? Do you have something against strong, female characters?
George: Well no, its-
Kramer: It's the movie of the century, George. Everybody loves it.
George: Will you let me just-
Jerry: You told me the other day that you were sick of how all these mindless CGI-filled movies were destroying cinema. And now you hate a movie just because it has strong women characters? Sounds like you're the one getting triggered here, Georgie.
George: Excuse me?
Jerry: You heard me.
George: I do not get triggered. Okay? I'm the triggerer, alright? End of discussion.
Elaine: I still don't understand this whole SJW-cuckold connection.
Kramer: My buddy, Bob Sacamano? Actually, he's into that whole cuckolding thing. But he's no SJW. And he hated Mad Max! Said there weren't enough bucks for his taste, whatever that means.
Jerry: It's just a movie, George. You can handle it. You're a big guy.
George (defeated): For you.
User avatar #30845 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
George: Did you see what just happened?

Jerry: Well, that all depends. . .

George: Did you happen to notice that Julie said "big guy" to Elaine?

Jerry: Yeah, so?

George: Well, she didn't see The Dark Knight. I saw The Dark Knight.

Jerry: Is that a fact?

George: Yes it is. She just took credit for my meme. That's not right.

Jerry: No it isn't.

George: I mean I'm the one who said it.

Jerry: Yes you did.

George: You think she should have said something?

Jerry: She could have.

George: Oh, I know.

Jerry: Imagine, her taking credit for your big guy.

George: You know you start a dank meme for somebody it would be nice if they knew it.

Jerry: Obviously.
User avatar #30846 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
Jerry: Hey, George, you know Tim Whatley.

George: Yeah, dentist of the stars.

Jerry: What's up?

Tim: I'll tell you what's up. I'm baneposting.

Jerry: Excuse me?

Tim: I'm baneposting. I finished making a thread two minutes ago.

Jerry: Well... (Thinking of something to say) Welcome to /tv/

Tim: Thanks.

George: Hey, where you just at /v/?

Tim: Oh, well, I didn't do much. I just shitpost in threads. You know, it was more like a Dr. Pavel shitpost. I'll see ya. (Jerry and George give confused looks)

Elaine and Jerry at his place.

Jerry: Elaine, the guy's on /tv/ two days, he's already baneposting.

Elaine: So what? When someone comes to 4chan, they usually shit post the first night.

Jerry: Shit posting is not a religion.

Elaine: Tell that to my plebbit.
User avatar #30847 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
Jerry is in his apartment, cleaning up. Kramer bursts through the door. He's covered in bruises, and his shirt is torn.

Kramer (absent mindedly): Oh, hey Jerry.
Jerry: Kramer! Are you alright? You look like you've been beat up or something.
Kramer: What? Oh, uh, it's nothing. I'm fine.

Kramer begins pacing back and forth.

Jerry: You sure?
Kramer (nervously): Yeah, I'm sure.
Jerry: Alright, then.

Jerry continues tidying up.

Kramer (loudly): Okay! I'll tell you then!

Jerry stops.

Jerry: What is it?

Kramer: It was horrible! They were vicious!

Jerry: Were you mugged? Was it a gang? Have you been spending time with those Van Buren boys again?
Kramer: No, Jerry! I swear! There were three of them. They-they said to me, "Hey mister, buy us some tequila or you're gonna regret it." But they were obviously just kids, so I blew 'em off and kept on walking.
Jerry: Who were they?
Kramer: They swarmed at me with their tiny little fists. Have you ever been swarmed? It's the worst!
Jerry: You should go to the police.
Kramer: You don't understand, I did. I found a beat cop and told him what happened!
Jerry: And?
Kramer: He laughed at me, Jerry! He laughed!
Jerry: Why?
Kramer: Because I told him-- I told him-
Jerry: What? What?
Kramer: It was those three little girls! You know the ones. The ones with the creepy baby faces, they dress up like adults, they hang out on 13th and Broadway.
Jerry: Jordyn did this? No way. I don't believe you. She's literally perfection, you know.
Kramer: You gotta believe me, man!
The door opens. George walks in, shirt torn up, covered in bruises. George looks at Kramer for a second before looking away, upset.
Jerry: And what happened to you?
George: I don't -- I don't want to talk about it.
Kramer: It happened to you too, didn't it George?
George: I said, I don't want to talk about it.
Jerry: Oh, brother.
Kramer: These cunnies... they're outta control!
#30848 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
GEORGE: Hey, /tv/ Boys.

STEVEN: So, Mister Costanza, I heard you were an oldfag?

GEORGE: Now, fellas, fellas.. easy. You wouldn't want to troll one of your own.

MEMBER 2: Is that right? Then why don't you post a triforce?

GEORGE: Right.. the triforce...

^
^^

STEVEN: That's not a triforce.

GEORGE: (Defensively loud) It was when I was shitposting!
User avatar #30849 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
Kramer: Hey, what are you doing?

Jerry: Oh, I'm deleting this thread. It came undone when someome started talking about black IQ levels. That's the end of that.

Kramer: Did you see Reddit's general last night? 'Cause I read on the Internet they memed.

Jerry: They memed. They only do well when they have /tv/ for dank memes. He's an SJW shill.

Kramer: Well, you gotta give him some credit. (starts posting pics of Brendan Frasers face) You're just being totally ridiculous. (keeps posting) I'll see you later buddy.

Jerry: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute.

Kramer: What?

Jerry: Do I have to ask?

Kramer: Brendan's alimony is really high so im going to meme about it. Anything else, Mr. Nosy?

(Kramer starts to post, Jerry grabs the mouse by the cord and drags it back.)

Jerry: Why is his alimony so high?

Kramer: She FUCKED HIS SHIT UP.

Jerry: Oh Moses smell the roses.

Kramer: Jerry, it's vastly superior to any conventional shitposting. Now post yfw.
User avatar #30850 - hawaiianhappysauce (06/11/2015) [-]
George: Well I just got back from posting on /tv/. And there was a waifu thread...

Jerry: Oh... You mean... cunny.

George: Yes. Significant cunny!

Jerry: So you feel you are an ebophile?

George: Yes! I mean, if she thinks I'm a pedo she's under a complete misapprehension. That was not me, Jerry. That was not me.

Jerry: Well, so what's the difference?

George: What if she discusses it with Jane?

Jerry: Oh, she's not gonna tell Jane.

George: How do you know?

Jerry: Women aren't like us.

George: They're worse! They're much worse than us, they talk about everything! Couldn't you at least tell her about the difference between pedophilia and ebophilia?

Jerry: No, I'm not gonna tell her about your perversion. Besides, I think women know about ebophilia.

George: How do women know about ebophilia? (They see Elaine walking down the hall) Elaine! Get! (She enters) Do women know about ebophilia?

Elaine: What do you mean, like child porn?

George: No.

Jerry: Like when a girl is a teen... over 13...

Elaine: You mean like kids?

Jerry: Like teenagers!
User avatar #30870 - machiavellianhumor (06/11/2015) [-]
so like rhaz al ghul is a soup nazi

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User avatar #1 - vissova (06/28/2013) [-]
Takes major balls not to remove a comment with -100 thumbs. Respect to you, sir.
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