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ellwood

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ellwood Avatar Level 214 Comments: Comedic Genius
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Gender: male
Age: 19
Date Signed Up:4/30/2011
Last Login:12/25/2014
Location:USA
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#3481
Comment Ranking:#13769
Highest Content Rank:#3470
Highest Comment Rank:#3885
Content Thumbs: 1804 total,  2051 ,  247
Comment Thumbs: 1560 total,  1791 ,  231
Content Level Progress: 94% (94/100)
Level 116 Content: Funny Junkie → Level 117 Content: Funny Junkie
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Level 214 Comments: Comedic Genius → Level 215 Comments: Comedic Genius
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Content Views:108422
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Total Comments Made:571
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Favorite Tags: batman (3) | dark knight (3) | You (3) | carl (2) | Christmas (2) | do (2) | flute (2) | God (2) | Grinch (2) | joker (2) | Lift (2) | Walking dead (2)

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    Uploaded: 12/08/12
    Hopefully that won't be me Hopefully that won't be me
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    Uploaded: 12/12/14
    True love True love
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    Uploaded: 01/21/13
    the batman the batman
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    Uploaded: 03/16/13
    I'm da Govna I'm da Govna
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    Uploaded: 12/24/14
    Merry Christmas, Fuckers Merry Christmas, Fuckers
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    Uploaded: 10/15/12
    The Walking Dead The Walking Dead
1 2 3 4 > [ 20 Funny Pictures Total ]
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    Uploaded: 12/11/14
    Everyone's a little bit racist Everyone's a little bit racist
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    Uploaded: 01/30/13
    Farmers only Farmers only
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    Uploaded: 04/23/12
    the fudge? the fudge?
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latest user's comments

#9 - exactly 12/24/2014 on Women 21 0
#3 - If we're in a world where people are proud of what they do to …  [+] (2 new replies) 12/24/2014 on Women 21 +5
#8 - anonymous (12/24/2014) [-]
You don't have to be doing well to be proud. I'd be proud if they made it to adulthood without a child of their own.
User avatar #9 - ellwood (12/24/2014) [-]
exactly
#39 - "that's not how it ******* works." good… 12/24/2014 on NO NEW POSTS +20
#10 - Nice try elderly Neil Patrick Harris. We all know you're gay  [+] (1 new reply) 12/24/2014 on After moving out +1
User avatar #13 - ChuckNorrisVsMRT (12/24/2014) [-]
thats like nph if he smokes from now until he's in his late 60s
#166 - come on, guys. Yeah, there are people who do this, but let's n… 12/24/2014 on That time of year is coming... 0
#32 - aaaaaaaaaaaah. ok. Thanks man 12/23/2014 on Shoulda had a spork hand 0
#18 - Alright, question time. I'm legitimately curious because I thi…  [+] (2 new replies) 12/23/2014 on Shoulda had a spork hand 0
User avatar #25 - darthblam (12/23/2014) [-]
Different kind of orcs I believe.
They are different because of the regions they come from. The ones we saw in the Hobbit were Gundabad orcs that live in once Dwarven mountains.
What we saw in LotR were Morannon and Morgul orcs, which were a bit nastier since they all came from Mordor.
User avatar #32 - ellwood (12/23/2014) [-]
aaaaaaaaaaaah. ok. Thanks man
#42 - come on.....that's not an accurate depiction of harrison ford …  [+] (1 new reply) 12/22/2014 on kind of sad +8
User avatar #52 - splinfinity (12/22/2014) [-]
It's cool, we all got our man-crushes/crushes. No disrespect to ya.


faggot
#3 - I was with Jacob (my older sister’s husnand), Sydney (my old… 12/21/2014 on ellwood's profile 0
#2175 - Comment deleted 12/16/2014 on Fun roll types 0

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User avatar #3 - ellwood (12/21/2014) [-]
I was with Jacob (my older sister’s husnand), Sydney (my older sister) and two other people (probably dad and Katie, who is my younger sister). There was this old man who kidnapped us and took us beside a river. He put this hollowed out box on the ground with some shapes cut out of the top. Then, he made us put our toes over the cut out holes. My shape was that of a cross. He then started a fire in the hollowed out box. For some reason, I didn’t feel immense pain. Granted, my toes were warm, but they were not burning. He then told us to relieve ourselves of our sins by spitting on our toes. So, we reluctantly obeyed. Then, he told us what he was doing. Honestly, I don’t remember what he said. But in the end, I knew that something was coming for us. So, we were waiting. The old man talked with us for a bit and he seemed polite enough despite his intentions. I asked him if he’d let us go to which he replied “No. I still have things left to show you.” He then lit a fire in the metal barrel that was sitting beside him. That’s when we saw a figure emerging from the lake that began to come toward us. Instantly, my mind went to the main antagonist from the movie “the Ring” in terms of recognition. However, I still have no idea what it actually was or what its intentions were. As this was happening, Jacob saw his chance for an escape since the old man’s attention was elsewhere. He kicked the metal barrel over, which caused the old man to frenzy and chase after it. He ended up in the lake. After this, all we could see was darkness and we knew that whatever had come out of the lake was still coming towards us. Then, it was right next to us, its breath putrid and skin clammy. We ran away, out of the woods, and somehow found our way home to our beds. However, it wasn’t our home. It seemed like we went to some sort of shelter, because we were in one room with a multitude of people. I ended up in a bed with someone else, although I do not know who it was. I waited in my bed for the thing from the lake to come for us, but it did not that night.
This is where my memory of the dream gets hazy. The next day, we pretended that the thing from the lake had never happened. In fact, we convinced ourselves that it was another person that the old man had recruited into torturing us. We went on with our lives as normal, but things seemed different. I was outside of a house when Sydney came out to take care of our horses (which we apparently had in this dream). I looked to the right, and saw a goat the size of a horse. Only, it was not exactly the size of a horse for its body was of normal size while its legs were long and skinny. I decided to try befriending the goat, but it was not friendly. It bit my hand and began to ram into me repeatedly. However, it eventually warmed up to me and let me pet it. I went to go inside the house after this, but my sister was in a hurry. She asked me if I could feed Milo and I said that I could. I was nervous about going inside of the house because I thought that the old man may be waiting to take me back. Even more frightening was the thought that the thing from the lake may be waiting. I went inside anyway and got Milo’s food out of the closet (which looked like an attic for some reason) of the kitchen. I poured his food and realized that it was just the goldfish cheese crackers. Sydney came inside and I asked about this. She said that it was ok, so I let it be. After this, I don’t remember a whole lot until the happenings that night.
I was with my family in the living room of my house in Newnan. We were watching a movie and I was standing up beside the tv for some reason. All of the lights were off except for the warm, bluish glow of the television. I decided that I should use my old camcorder (which I found yesterday and have been using extensively since) to record the moment. I turned on the camcorder, but couldn’t see out of it because it was set to zoom as far as it could go. So, I zoomed out and aimed the camera at my family. All was well until I moved my camera to the gap between my parent’s room and the kitchen. There’s a little walkway there that resembles a doorway and leads to the kitchen. Anyway, I paused there shortly. And suddenly, I saw a small girl with glowing yellow eyes appear in the picture. She was wearing a dress, but it was black. In fact, she was completely black except for her glowing eyes. It then ran to the other side of the entry way. I immediately was disconcerted and turned the camera off. When I looked towards the entry way, it was gone. I went to show my dad the recorded video, but I then woke up. That is the dream I had last night.
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