Rank #16731 on CommentsLevel 311 Comments: Wizard
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|Date Signed Up:||6/28/2011|
|FunnyJunk Career Stats|
|Highest Content Rank:||#4433|
|Highest Comment Rank:||#105|
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Level 114 Content: Funny Junkie → Level 115 Content: Funny Junkie
|Comment Level Progress:|| 67.6% (338/500) |
Level 311 Comments: Wizard → Level 312 Comments: Wizard
|Times Content Favorited:||51 times|
|Total Comments Made:||5247|
I'm 6'3, about 190, a legend...
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latest user's comments
|#64 - Saved peoples lives by doing what? [+] (56 new replies)||08/21/2016 on Dear women.||0|
#70 - catburglarpenis (08/21/2016) [-]
It was a speed racing event that I volunteered for. There was a shitload of drunk and oblivious people combined with careless drivers who nearly hit people a bare minimum of 30 times over the 3 day event. I literally had to tackle about 8 people out of the way for near misses, steal a bullhorn to get huge crowds out of the way a ton of times, and climb onto a hood just to get a driver to pay attention to where he was going. My compatriots didn't do any of these things often because they were on their phones or sometimes simply because "they were too shy". I got a lanyard and a t shirt out of the deal, the owner of the track had nothing else to give.
#79 - catburglarpenis (08/21/2016) [-]
I pay you several thousand dollars a month and you don't do shit. I pay superman several thousand dollars and he fixes everything because he doesn't have to worry about food or resort to crime to pay his bills.
Yeah, she totally saved all those people because she invested properly. Oh yeah! I also made thousands of jobs because I bought several name brand products!
#96 - catburglarpenis (08/21/2016) [-]
The... Firefighters? I don't understand what you're getting at. Everyone there was able to volunteer because someone was supporting them financially and they didn't have to pick up a job. They did nothing, I did something. By your logic without me being there their parents/spouses/boyfriends etc. would be responsible for the deaths of 30 people by supporting useless people for this particular job.
Notably the racetrack was barred from employing us anymore after that to avoid scarring volunteers that couldn't accomplish what I did, and the racetrack had to divert money to hiring bouncers and EMTs.
#241 - lolollo (08/22/2016) [-]
Your existence having an indirect role in an event where people are saved is not equivalent to them saving those people's lives. You're making a lot of assumptions on how everything would've played put had her role been something different. The more indirect your role is, the more of a butterfly effect your direct role has on the final outcome.
#245 - catburglarpenis (08/22/2016) [-]
Fucking what? Literally people nearly got ran over. Most the security guards there said those people would have died without me. The owner of the racetrack rewarded me and recognized me for the feats I had done and implemented further security measures to prevent such happenings in the future and it caused a permanent change in both the racetrack and the military's affiliation with them.
I was literally about to sign the papers for active duty before my wife and I married and her BAH/BAS rolled in. Without me there people would have actually perished and everyone present said precisely that.
#337 - lolollo (08/24/2016) [-]
Is this the part of the conversation where you completely and utterly forget what "sarcasm" is to include the fact that you've been trying to use it to snipe at the moral high ground?
Again...you make a lot of decisions which you think should make you look smart, but do the opposite.
#338 - catburglarpenis (08/25/2016) [-]
Yep, "me dumb you smart" is supposed to make me look smart. What part of "I don't care what you think about how smart I am and that's not on the thread topic and finding out whether or not you're smarter than me helps no one except by padding your ego" don't you understand? Me dumb you smart! You win your entirely unrelated derailment argument! Huzzah! Now fuck off!
#336 - catburglarpenis (08/24/2016) [-]
Ah so it's ME who is arguing to make an impression that I'm intelligent? I promise you you're going to find some interesting things when you look up Freudian Projection, because I can control+f the phrase "me dumb you smart" and it seems like I've used that one a whole lot.
Again, I've got 105 IQ, which is average. I've got an Associate's in Applied Science and am working towards my Bachelor's. I was on the Dean's List last semester but not this one. I don't give a fuck if you think I'm intelligent or not, I don't fucking care, that's not what this thread started with, that's not what this is about at all, it was YOU that derailed this conversation in that direction, that whole argument helps no one, I straight up don't give a fuck about it, and yet you've been on it for nearly a fucking week! Fuck off!
Me dumb you smart! Me dumb you smart! Me dumb you smart! Now fuck off! You're the smartest, I'm the dumberest! I put all my skill points in fuck I don't know lets say Endurance instead of intelligence, wisdom or charisma! You win! Hurray you're smart and I'm dumb! Yay! Now go the fuck away, you haven't been on topic since you fucking started.
#334 - catburglarpenis (08/24/2016) [-]
"What alternate universe do you hail from where you think it's a credit to your intelligence"
>>#299 I called you out on it. You've literally just been arguing about my intelligence for nearly a week now on a fucking thread about domestic abuse. The main thing you're trying to prove (without any evidence whatsoever with pure theory) is that you're more intelligent than I am. You refuse to use measures such as IQ or test scores or degrees or anything and have used every other angle besides that to try to call into question my mental faculties with all sorts of armchair psychology.
If all you want is to fucking feel smart than I dumb you smart motherfucker now go the fuck away. If that's not what you want, then tell me what he fuck you want. Your new "victim complex" armchair psychology angle is grasping at straws and you proved yourself wrong. You admitted it. Word for word, quoted above. Me dumb, me super super dumb. Now fuck off.
#332 - catburglarpenis (08/24/2016) [-]
Jesus fucking Christ dude. What are you, Trump himself? "I said this but I meant this, you're misconstruing and twisting my word for word answers"? Yep, I sure do see only my side of things, when you've been arguing for days about your own intellectual superiority, admit it, deny you've admitted it, then deny that you forgot the original intent of this thread and admitted that you forgot it. Holy shit dude.
I've never seen Freudian projection so hard. Confirmation bias, inapplicable systems theory use, logical fallacies out the wazoo, no evidence whatsoever but repeated attacks and claim to superiority by any means necessary. This is fucking incredible. And all to a fellow military member, a charitable one that has directly saved many human lives (I got a fucking NMCRS medal literally for being more charitable than everyone, the Outstanding Contributor award)
For what dude, for fucking what?
What the fuck do you fucking want?! Fucking get it and go, holy shit
#328 - catburglarpenis (08/24/2016) [-]
so... you're not denying it, therefor proving yourself wrong on your new and improved victim logic angle? Man, that was your latest way of feeling superior to me. You'd better get back to your ad hominem attacks because this psychology degree pdf you just printed doesn't seem to be doing shit.
C'mon call into question my logic again, base it off of loose systems theory or philosophy. Call me a retard again. Call into question my sanity one more time, make this whole thing sporty. Feign concern again. Make it fun.
#326 - catburglarpenis (08/24/2016) [-]
you literally just admitted that you wouldn't know the point of this discussion if you got back to it, after admitting that you're arguing over intellectual superiority when that has nothing to do with the thread starting topic. Facts must be victim logic now I guess.
#323 - catburglarpenis (08/24/2016) [-]
Precisely what victim complex do I have Mr. super smart mega psychologist? Please help with my obvious mental insufficiencies what ever would i do without you? Is this about my factual statement of abuse at the start of this thread before you started trying to prove that you're smarter than me while simultaneously refusing to use any evidence? The factual statement of abuse that would have been left alone were it not for your extrapolating and derailing superiority complex?
#315 - lolollo (08/24/2016) [-]
I don't care how you perceive me compared to you. What I care about is that you keep saying all of that sarcastically as though its meant to snipe at the moral high ground. If I truly were that way, I wouldn't have even bothered to keep conversing with you after that he first time you tried that, because I wouldve made a passing insult and then blocked you so you couldn't respond.
#319 - catburglarpenis (08/24/2016) [-]
You literally admitted that for the last couple of days you've been trying to prove that you're smarter than me without using grades, standardized test scores, IQ scores, real life results, degrees or basically anything that can be misconstrued as proof, when this thread was started with a content relevant story of domestic abuse stated matter-of-factly.
I don't know what you want. Me dumb you smart. Your internet penis is huge. You beat dark souls with your ballsack. What the fuck do you want from me?
#304 - lolollo (08/23/2016) [-]
Things you would know if you actually understood the thing you were talking about.
1. A P value is a mathematical representation of somethings propensity to happen in the real world, physically making it applicable to such. It's the whole point of the concept.
2. More data points > less data points
3. What you've just described as "data points" aren't data points.
4. What you're trying to describe with P values is a concept which can't be accurately described with P values...by nature.
And then there's still the simple fact the heat every bit of logic you try to apply to your wife saving those people can be applied to your parents...with the only difference being "no its different because P values" despite all of the glaring holes in keep poking in it.
#296 - lolollo (08/23/2016) [-]
Which would be relevant were it not for the fact that p-values are calculated through statistical analysis of a concise, or continuous statistic as it pertains to an observed event over the course of many trials, which I know you didn't fucking do with whether or not people would have died at an event were it not for your decisions pertaining to your wife. What did you do, hack into 5th Dimensional space to run fucking trials?
#300 - catburglarpenis (08/23/2016) [-]
Didn't need to. Again, inapplicable to real world results. Everyone there stated hey would have died without me, laws of physics stated, etc etc etc
I didn't need to do an ANOVA study because it was just 2 data points. Wife was there, wife was not there. People got saved v people not saved. I could honestly plug this data into a simple chart but I don't need to, it's already been documented at its occurrence.
#294 - catburglarpenis (08/23/2016) [-]
Yep, with a science degree I totally had to google p values that was never covered during my degree progress not at all nuh uh
Significance in p values can essentially be dumbed down to probability of statement correlation or truthfulness. Again, a 2 step process is a direct corollary and a 30 step process is an incredibly loose corollary but you're weighing them the same, an inadmissible practice in science.
Again, you're questioning my intelligence based know on wisdom, literally now with a Google war including link vs link and before simply burden of proof. YOU WANT TO FEEL SMARTER THAN ME. I GET IT. FUCKING TALK ABOUT THE PRICE OF RICE IN CHINA OR SOMETHING I HAVEN'T A CLUE ABOUT.
You're still just trying to feel smarter than me because you have no evidence that you could directly point to- IQ score, Achievements, SAT/ACT, degrees, etc. Again you have abandoned the original commentary long ago. Do what you need to feel smarter and go away. All you're after is a feeling. Will listening to some binaural beats help? That'll make you feel better regardless of their efficacy! The placebo effect works even if the patient knows it's only a placebo! Watch, I'm a wizard! With the magic words "hagfish jdbshvd iaidhbf" you're smarter than everyone! Did that work? Are you free yet?
#280 - lolollo (08/23/2016) [-]
Ok...Let's look at it scientifically...your mother gave birth to you after your father inseminated her.
So, had they not done that, you wouldn't have existed and those people would've died. That's not philosophy, that's hilariously presumptive science exactly like your conclusion with your wife.
#285 - catburglarpenis (08/23/2016) [-]
Ignoring P Values is a sure way to disprove my points scientifically. Oh shit wait no it isn't.
"Do you think my adding of this research chemical caused this reaction (2 step process)?"
"Naw I think it's because your mom fucked ur dad!"
NOBEL PRIZE AWARDED TO MRS. DEAN KILLENSKI FOR CURING CANCER WITH HER VAGINA
LINES OF CANCER PATIENTS AROUND THE BLOCK TRYNA GET THAT SWEET PUSS
#278 - catburglarpenis (08/23/2016) [-]
Someone who's been banned from several negotiation tables and whole countries leading to an inevitable war causing the death of potentially millions? No, morally I cannot vote for Trump because you or someone like you would likely die as a direct result of his election. For the record I don't like either candidate but only one of them leads to nearly inevitable war.
Here's the divide between science and philosophy: in science the P Value of something with a correlation of 1:1 is very high, very likely to be a direct contributing factor. Statistically almost 100% likely factor. Something further out does not.
> was going to join active military or be homeless (again)
> instead get married to active duty wife and lives are saved
2 steps. 1:1 incident.
> (all of life's events)
> for argument's sake one per year >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>
> get married and lives are saved
Minimum 30 steps, highly unlikely to be correlated. This is why we don't use philosophy in day to day life. Your judgment scale is broken, essentially a feather weighs as much as a ton of bricks, there's no way to judge events numerically or properly to give actual advice/results. These events do not weigh the same scientifically, stop trying to force them to. In the real world, you're hammering a square peg in a round hole and going "SEE?! THEYRE THE SAME AND YOURE SUPID IF YOU DISAGREE!"
#274 - catburglarpenis (08/23/2016) [-]
Systems theory doesn't apply here. Stop trying to apply the butterfly effect to a closed circuit connection. Grow the fuck up. You want me to start belittling you with your own logical determinism? Ok, you only passed high school and got into college because of your economic social disposition, your ideas are stolen and poorly implemented because of your poor understanding of how they apply in real time, your country opened up opportunities to do so and people died for you to be free. Why aren't you saluting the flag, sucking my dick as a hero of our nation fighting for your freedom to repeatedly misuse philosophical concepts as if they're absolute laws of physics, honoring your parents, bowing to your ancestors, fucking your dog, buying war bonds, etc etc etc
Nothing matters when you extrapolate as you do but you think your logic only applies to others. In your mind, your view doesn't matter, my actions are excusable, my wife's actions are excusable, societal laws are malleable, and everything is predetermined, but you weaponized this concept on others and consider it inapplicable to yourself.
You want to feel superior to a nearly 30 year old active military member. Do what you need to feel that feeling and go away. My suggestion would be to head to a soup kitchen or something. It's not hard to surpass me, you just have to try. I mean, a man saved hundreds/thousands of children by making a YouTube video with Kony 2012, that's definitely a start.
#265 - lolollo (08/23/2016) [-]
The point I'm making is that those people lived because of you. To get into the deeper philosophies of it on "oh it's because I stayed with my wife" is pointless since the final, eventual conclusion for all of it is is simply "the universe moves in a forward direction because of cause and effect." To get completely and utterly technical, and hilariously philosophical, the event turning out the way it did wouldn't have turned out the way it did unless the universe matched up precisely the way it did...to include your wife beating you, you dropping out of school, you getting your associates degree, other various tangentially related events which put you where you are.
The point could very well be made that had you finished high school, had your family not been poor, those people would be dead. You don't use that to say "drop out of school kids!" is simply the chaotic, yet cause/effect centered nature of the universe appearing as order and direction.
You're telling me about your education, let me tell you about all those petty philosophy classes I took as diversity credits for my degree...
#268 - catburglarpenis (08/23/2016) [-]
A direct cause and effect relationship is less philosophical determinism and more physics. Stop extrapolating what-if scenarios like an 8 year old child and start realizing that an honest to Flying Spaghetti Monster cause-effect relationship exists that can be verified scientifically, not pseudologically disproven.
Yeah, I had to take those classes too. The difference was being military police and having to take "philosophy in motion" "classes" (constant training) that involved the movement and ebb and flow of real human lives. Get out of your head- in the real, actual human breathing world there is far and above more science at play than philosophy. Fun thing that- that's what my degree is in.
#256 - lolollo (08/22/2016) [-]
Ok then...did you call both of your parents to thank them for saving those people? I mean...without them you wouldn't exist. What about your recruiter? 9th grade English teacher? Without that guy you'd have never graduated high school!
Logic dictates they're just as responsible for saving those people...where's their thanks?
#262 - catburglarpenis (08/23/2016) [-]
Everyone else there was part of the same organization and didn't save the people, I did.
This isn't butterfly effect bullshit here, I was ready to sign a contract guaranteeing that I would not be able to do what I did for years at a time. The contract did not get signed because my wife stepped in. End of story. Also I dropped out of high school to watch my little brothers because my family was immeasurably poor. I now have an Associate's and am a scant couple of classes away from my Bachelor's, so only the latest degree actually counts on a resume *shrugs*
You continue to extrapolate with systems theory where it simply does not apply. What-if scenarios have no place where you're a grown ass man- just results. These people lived where they would have died. These cause and effect relationships are easy to follow and definitive.
#253 - catburglarpenis (08/22/2016) [-]
Do you not get logic?
> She paid my bills (government paid my bills because she's married to me)
> So I was free to volunteer instead of becoming Active Duty
> I volunteered for every event (including this one)
> I saved people
What precise point are you trying to make?
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