x
Click to expand

deadfed

Last status update:
-
Personal Info
Gender: male
Age: 21
Date Signed Up:8/01/2013
Last Login:5/04/2015
Location:Living in a van down by the river
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#168
Comment Ranking:#1541
Highest Content Rank:#169
Highest Comment Rank:#1129
Content Thumbs: 15252 total,  16314 ,  1062
Comment Thumbs: 4006 total,  5833 ,  1827
Content Level Progress: 54.4% (272/500)
Level 210 Content: Comedic Genius → Level 211 Content: Comedic Genius
Comment Level Progress: 8% (8/100)
Level 231 Comments: Ambassador Of Lulz → Level 232 Comments: Ambassador Of Lulz
Subscribers:1
Content Views:627727
Times Content Favorited:909 times
Total Comments Made:1614
FJ Points:13819
I just made this account, I deleted my old one because of a roll I made. I said I would delete it if I rolled a pony, and guess fucking what. New account, doesnt mean Im new here. Ive been coming to funnyjunk since 2002. Im a dedicated funnyjunkie.

Funny Text/Links

Funny Pictures

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 > [ 45 ]

Funny Videos

  • Views: 1712
    Thumbs Up 13 Thumbs Down 6 Total: +7
    Comments: 6
    Favorites: 5
    Uploaded: 03/11/15
    Poking the bear Poking the bear

Funny Gifs

latest user's comments

#4 - Im spanish, and I can comfirm this is a common latina problem.… 2 hours ago on This comp is full of lies 0
#33 - Northern indiana. Weve got Martins Pawmarts right down the roa…  [+] (1 new reply) 2 hours ago on Friendship 0
#34 - StealerShock (2 hours ago) [-]
Hmm, I don't know of any big reptile shops near you, but if you were to look for some american reptile forums on google, then you can probably find a good online community to help you get started, and people are often happy to courier snakes to you if you're buying from them (it isn't too expensive, depending on how far they need to ship it). After you find one of those forums, the world is your oyster when it comes to exotic pets
#31 - It was an old fish aquarium, no lock just books on top. The sn…  [+] (3 new replies) 2 hours ago on Friendship 0
#32 - StealerShock (2 hours ago) [-]
yeah, realistically you would need something like this. Again, it's a uk site, but you can find them easily in the us, and probably a bit cheaper. Where in the us are you based, I might be able to point you towards some of the more famous shops to get some in person advice

www.reptiles.swelluk.com/reptile-supplies/vivariums-416/compact-vivariums--1310/vivexotic-repti-home-medium-tall-beech-378686.html
#33 - deadfed (2 hours ago) [-]
Northern indiana. Weve got Martins Pawmarts right down the road, but I dont really like them since I got fired from their supermarket. Theres another Martins pet shop, not related to the Martins supermarket at all. A few towns over theres a pet shop I dont know the name of, but theyve got some exotic animals. Were in the north and Ive seen them have alligators in there before. Usually some rich kid buys one and raises it for a few years and releases it in the lake.
#34 - StealerShock (2 hours ago) [-]
Hmm, I don't know of any big reptile shops near you, but if you were to look for some american reptile forums on google, then you can probably find a good online community to help you get started, and people are often happy to courier snakes to you if you're buying from them (it isn't too expensive, depending on how far they need to ship it). After you find one of those forums, the world is your oyster when it comes to exotic pets
#28 - Ok, thanks. I favorited the comment if I do decide in the futu…  [+] (5 new replies) 2 hours ago on Friendship 0
#30 - StealerShock (2 hours ago) [-]
Yeah, that can happen, though I would imagine the cage didn't have a lock on it? If you were to buy one of the specialist vivariums, they usually have a locking mechanism on the glass that prevents that.

If you feel like just looking stuff up in the meantime, check out www.reptileforums.co.uk/forums/

If you're catching garter snakes then you're based in the us, but there's still a lot of cool stuff going on this forum, and you can get an idea for the variety of snakes out there that people own
#31 - deadfed (2 hours ago) [-]
It was an old fish aquarium, no lock just books on top. The snake wasnt big enough to push it out, but I needed the weight for the heat lamp.
#32 - StealerShock (2 hours ago) [-]
yeah, realistically you would need something like this. Again, it's a uk site, but you can find them easily in the us, and probably a bit cheaper. Where in the us are you based, I might be able to point you towards some of the more famous shops to get some in person advice

www.reptiles.swelluk.com/reptile-supplies/vivariums-416/compact-vivariums--1310/vivexotic-repti-home-medium-tall-beech-378686.html
#33 - deadfed (2 hours ago) [-]
Northern indiana. Weve got Martins Pawmarts right down the road, but I dont really like them since I got fired from their supermarket. Theres another Martins pet shop, not related to the Martins supermarket at all. A few towns over theres a pet shop I dont know the name of, but theyve got some exotic animals. Were in the north and Ive seen them have alligators in there before. Usually some rich kid buys one and raises it for a few years and releases it in the lake.
#34 - StealerShock (2 hours ago) [-]
Hmm, I don't know of any big reptile shops near you, but if you were to look for some american reptile forums on google, then you can probably find a good online community to help you get started, and people are often happy to courier snakes to you if you're buying from them (it isn't too expensive, depending on how far they need to ship it). After you find one of those forums, the world is your oyster when it comes to exotic pets
#24 - Im not a snake owner, never have been. I was gonna buy a frien…  [+] (7 new replies) 2 hours ago on Friendship 0
#26 - StealerShock (2 hours ago) [-]
That's fair enough, it's common mis-information, and good on you for trying to research before you buy, it's more than most people do. If you want to send me a PM I can answer any other questions you might have, and help you make the best decisions when it comes to buying your first snake that will save you a lot of effort and money in the long run
#28 - deadfed (2 hours ago) [-]
Ok, thanks. I favorited the comment if I do decide in the future, but hes since sold his snake. I got a cat and I figured Id better not have a snake as well, because last time I captured a garter snake and tried to keep it the cat got in the cage and killed it.
#30 - StealerShock (2 hours ago) [-]
Yeah, that can happen, though I would imagine the cage didn't have a lock on it? If you were to buy one of the specialist vivariums, they usually have a locking mechanism on the glass that prevents that.

If you feel like just looking stuff up in the meantime, check out www.reptileforums.co.uk/forums/

If you're catching garter snakes then you're based in the us, but there's still a lot of cool stuff going on this forum, and you can get an idea for the variety of snakes out there that people own
#31 - deadfed (2 hours ago) [-]
It was an old fish aquarium, no lock just books on top. The snake wasnt big enough to push it out, but I needed the weight for the heat lamp.
#32 - StealerShock (2 hours ago) [-]
yeah, realistically you would need something like this. Again, it's a uk site, but you can find them easily in the us, and probably a bit cheaper. Where in the us are you based, I might be able to point you towards some of the more famous shops to get some in person advice

www.reptiles.swelluk.com/reptile-supplies/vivariums-416/compact-vivariums--1310/vivexotic-repti-home-medium-tall-beech-378686.html
#33 - deadfed (2 hours ago) [-]
Northern indiana. Weve got Martins Pawmarts right down the road, but I dont really like them since I got fired from their supermarket. Theres another Martins pet shop, not related to the Martins supermarket at all. A few towns over theres a pet shop I dont know the name of, but theyve got some exotic animals. Were in the north and Ive seen them have alligators in there before. Usually some rich kid buys one and raises it for a few years and releases it in the lake.
#34 - StealerShock (2 hours ago) [-]
Hmm, I don't know of any big reptile shops near you, but if you were to look for some american reptile forums on google, then you can probably find a good online community to help you get started, and people are often happy to courier snakes to you if you're buying from them (it isn't too expensive, depending on how far they need to ship it). After you find one of those forums, the world is your oyster when it comes to exotic pets
#2 - Is it just me or does Al look like he could play the old guy f… 4 hours ago on TV show marathon are... +2
#3 - I made an instagram solely for posting pictures of my cat. The… 4 hours ago on Same with FJ fame 0
#9 - Youre supposed to take the snake out of its cage and put it so…  [+] (9 new replies) 5 hours ago on Friendship 0
#21 - StealerShock (2 hours ago) [-]
No, no you really aren't. Taking the snake out of the vivarium to feed only increases the amount of stress put on the snake, as you have to then pick it up and put it back in the cage once it's done eating, which can cause it to regurgitate its meal.

As for just 'throwing the food in there' and risking getting bitten, if you're doing things properly you really should be using tongs to feed; that being said I've never really used them, and have only been bitten three times, one of which I didn't even have food on me.

In case you're wondering if I'm a credible source, I've worked in an exotic pet shop, own 9 snakes of my own, and breed them to sell. This means I've fed something in the region of about 70 different snakes in the last 18 months
#24 - deadfed (2 hours ago) [-]
Im not a snake owner, never have been. I was gonna buy a friends snake so I was looking up tips for caring for them. That was what one site said, and Ive seen it posted about several times. I may be wrong, but its because the internet is full of lies. Heres proof if you think I was just being a dumb fuck spouting off shit I dont know about.

Thats just what Ive always thought, because thats what I was told when I did research into the subject.

www.wikihow.com/Feed-a-Snake-Frozen-Food
#26 - StealerShock (2 hours ago) [-]
That's fair enough, it's common mis-information, and good on you for trying to research before you buy, it's more than most people do. If you want to send me a PM I can answer any other questions you might have, and help you make the best decisions when it comes to buying your first snake that will save you a lot of effort and money in the long run
#28 - deadfed (2 hours ago) [-]
Ok, thanks. I favorited the comment if I do decide in the future, but hes since sold his snake. I got a cat and I figured Id better not have a snake as well, because last time I captured a garter snake and tried to keep it the cat got in the cage and killed it.
#30 - StealerShock (2 hours ago) [-]
Yeah, that can happen, though I would imagine the cage didn't have a lock on it? If you were to buy one of the specialist vivariums, they usually have a locking mechanism on the glass that prevents that.

If you feel like just looking stuff up in the meantime, check out www.reptileforums.co.uk/forums/

If you're catching garter snakes then you're based in the us, but there's still a lot of cool stuff going on this forum, and you can get an idea for the variety of snakes out there that people own
#31 - deadfed (2 hours ago) [-]
It was an old fish aquarium, no lock just books on top. The snake wasnt big enough to push it out, but I needed the weight for the heat lamp.
#32 - StealerShock (2 hours ago) [-]
yeah, realistically you would need something like this. Again, it's a uk site, but you can find them easily in the us, and probably a bit cheaper. Where in the us are you based, I might be able to point you towards some of the more famous shops to get some in person advice

www.reptiles.swelluk.com/reptile-supplies/vivariums-416/compact-vivariums--1310/vivexotic-repti-home-medium-tall-beech-378686.html
#33 - deadfed (2 hours ago) [-]
Northern indiana. Weve got Martins Pawmarts right down the road, but I dont really like them since I got fired from their supermarket. Theres another Martins pet shop, not related to the Martins supermarket at all. A few towns over theres a pet shop I dont know the name of, but theyve got some exotic animals. Were in the north and Ive seen them have alligators in there before. Usually some rich kid buys one and raises it for a few years and releases it in the lake.
#34 - StealerShock (2 hours ago) [-]
Hmm, I don't know of any big reptile shops near you, but if you were to look for some american reptile forums on google, then you can probably find a good online community to help you get started, and people are often happy to courier snakes to you if you're buying from them (it isn't too expensive, depending on how far they need to ship it). After you find one of those forums, the world is your oyster when it comes to exotic pets
#131 - Were not gay, but if someone heard some of our conversations t… 7 hours ago on Pussy 0
#130 - I really only know the basics. I used to do mechanic work, I w… 7 hours ago on Pussy 0

user's channels

Join Subscribe cringe-channel

items

Total unique items point value: 16038 / Total items point value: 34601
[ 87 items Total ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #41 - cluckycluckerson (03/29/2015) [-]
it says gullible on the ceiling, *****
#42 to #41 - deadfed (03/29/2015) [-]
That jokes as old as your mothers crusty cunt flaps.
User avatar #43 to #42 - cluckycluckerson (03/29/2015) [-]
keep your sick fantasies to yourself
#44 to #43 - deadfed (03/29/2015) [-]
Well you paint us a very vivid image of yourself and your family.
User avatar #45 to #44 - cluckycluckerson (03/29/2015) [-]
I thought I told you to stop stalking me
i'd block you if I wasnt enjoying it so much
User avatar #25 - emptysuperman (12/05/2014) [-]
No balls.
User avatar #46 to #25 - cluckycluckerson (03/29/2015) [-]
His ball level is -20% amirite
#47 to #46 - deadfed (03/29/2015) [-]
But yours is over 9000.
User avatar #47 to #47 - emptysuperman (04/21/2015) [-]
Hot!!!
#48 to #47 - deadfed (04/22/2015) [-]
Ive been thinking about you lately hott stuff.
#26 to #25 - deadfed (12/05/2014) [-]
No rolls, no risk, no game. The **** off my profile.
User avatar #27 to #26 - emptysuperman (12/07/2014) [-]
Exactly, you got no balls. Youre too cowardly to roll, rick, or to game.
#28 to #27 - deadfed (12/12/2014) [-]
Say what you want, Ive still got more proof I do than you.
User avatar #29 to #28 - emptysuperman (12/12/2014) [-]
Im sorry, what? I cant hear you over the echoing of your empty sack.

Roll, pussy.
#30 to #29 - deadfed (12/12/2014) [-]
See, you try to sound tough, but your badassery only goes as far as your insignificant brain thinks of it.
User avatar #31 to #30 - emptysuperman (12/12/2014) [-]
Why dont you show how cool you are and roll? You go then i go.
#32 to #31 - deadfed (12/13/2014) [-]
*roll 1* If roll becomes "7" (seven), rollers account gets deleted.
#33 to #32 - deadfed (12/13/2014) [-]
*roll 1*
#34 to #33 - deadfed (12/13/2014) [-]
*roll1* **** , I mustve forgotten how to roll.
User avatar #36 to #34 - emptysuperman (12/13/2014) [-]
Admin changed how you roll.
User avatar #35 to #34 - emptysuperman (12/13/2014) [-]
Maybe its because youre on your profile.
#23 - emptysuperman (08/20/2014) [-]
Looks like I just missed your 1 year anniversary of when you first came to FJ! Congrats! Does it feel like only a year since you first saw this site? DOES IT??
#24 to #23 - deadfed (08/31/2014) [-]
No, it more or less feels like watching a bunch of one year old monkeys trying to **** a football.
#14 - emptysuperman (04/30/2014) [-]
*Knock Knock*
You: *Pulls dick from mouth* "Who's there?"
Everyone in the world: "lol ur a fag!!"
You: "...yeah" *continues to gargle the semen of 7 men*
#15 to #14 - deadfed (05/01/2014) [-]
At least Ive done something with my life.
#16 to #15 - emptysuperman (05/01/2014) [-]
>Implying I haven't
>Implying breaking the world record for most dicks sucked is "doing something with your life"
#18 to #16 - deadfed (05/01/2014) [-]
>implying implifications
#17 to #16 - deadfed (05/01/2014) [-]
>implying it isnt
>implying you arent just an emptyregularman
#19 to #17 - emptysuperman (05/01/2014) [-]
Maybe if you weren't so new I could take you seriously.
#20 to #19 - deadfed (05/01/2014) [-]
I hope you die because of things.
#21 to #20 - emptysuperman (05/01/2014) [-]
What's that? I can't see your text through your blinding white username.
#22 to #21 - deadfed (05/01/2014) [-]
Oh no, Im not angry, I just sincerely hope the end of you comes to a theater near you sometime soon.
#13 - deadfed (03/16/2014) [-]
**deadfed rolled a random image posted in comment #834659 at Friendly **
#10 - emptysuperman (02/17/2014) [-]
Oh, hello, newfriend! I see you've only been here since late 2013, do you want me to give you some help navigating the site in case you haven't quite got it down yet?
Oh, hello, newfriend! I see you've only been here since late 2013, do you want me to give you some help navigating the site in case you haven't quite got it down yet?
#11 to #10 - deadfed (03/02/2014) [-]
Ive been coming to funnyjunk since 2002.
#12 to #11 - emptysuperman (03/03/2014) [-]
That's not what your profile says.
That's not what your profile says.
#8 - emptysuperman (09/21/2013) [-]
I don't know if you know this, but there was another guy on FJ who had the same username as you. But he was such an enormous faggot his account killed itself. Just wanted you to know, in case that username was still infected with AIDS.
#9 to #8 - deadfed (09/21/2013) [-]
Still me, you worthless piece of **** .
 Friends (0)