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dcooney

Last status update:
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Personal Info
Gender: male
Age: 21
Date Signed Up:5/14/2011
Last Login:9/04/2015
Location:Texas
FunnyJunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#3643
Comment Ranking:#1900
Highest Content Rank:#3609
Highest Comment Rank:#593
Content Thumbs: 2464 total,  2689 ,  225
Comment Thumbs: 8185 total,  8386 ,  201
Content Level Progress: 22% (22/100)
Level 123 Content: Respected Member Of Famiry → Level 124 Content: Respected Member Of Famiry
Comment Level Progress: 46% (46/100)
Level 262 Comments: Pure Win → Level 263 Comments: Pure Win
Subscribers:0
Content Views:112457
Times Content Favorited:83 times
Total Comments Made:308
FJ Points:8568

latest user's comments

#3 - I bet this mofo had something to do with Merica not finding any cheese  [+] (2 new replies) 08/04/2015 on Mooooooooooon +48
User avatar #28 - hexadecimated (08/05/2015) [-]
That fucker scared the shit outta me as a kid.
User avatar #7 - cisdroidcommander (08/04/2015) [-]
That robot terrified me when i was younger
#4 - Tom Segura is so ******* funny, take the time to listen… 08/04/2015 on Lawyer up. 0
#1 - Surely people only use that font to be "cool", there… 08/04/2015 on ★Front Page Material★ +17
#11 - sooo are you a completely different entity than admin? 07/28/2015 on adminstickies's profile 0
#2 - And then the hipsters gather round and applaud at the extremel…  [+] (7 new replies) 07/26/2015 on Bart +258
User avatar #58 - ninjaspartan (07/27/2015) [-]
This makes vomiting look about as relieving as a fart or a burp.

Goddamit I wish that was true.
#57 - fffffffuuuuuuuuuuu (07/26/2015) [-]
Mushroom cloud coming out of his mouth. Fallout 5 confirmed
#17 - vladi (07/26/2015) [-]
It sure would be original though.
#16 - leberkase (07/26/2015) [-]
hope that guy is either made to clean that shit up, or be arrest for vandalism.
just because you don't enjoy modern art, doesn't mean you should ruin it for others.
#36 - spanishninja (07/26/2015) [-]
found the hipster
User avatar #23 - kibbleking (07/26/2015) [-]
How do you ruin trash?
#19 - anon (07/26/2015) [-]
You mean modern garbage.
#2 - Good thing you didn't pull the secret string opening the secre…  [+] (7 new replies) 07/25/2015 on I found a safe in my house +183
User avatar #8 - dndxplain (07/26/2015) [-]
wouldn't that be any picture of Joshlol at any party?
#12 - anon (07/26/2015) [-]
Joshlol at a party?
#25 - anon (07/26/2015) [-]
>Joshlol
>Party
- Pick one
User avatar #14 - nickypickle (07/26/2015) [-]
joshlol?
User avatar #18 - ultralinkfan (07/26/2015) [-]
?
#20 - themanwithnoplan has deleted their comment.
User avatar #19 - kurusudarling (07/26/2015) [-]
.
#5 - Are you suggesting that parasols migrate?  [+] (1 new reply) 07/25/2015 on The Great Parasoll migration +6
User avatar #42 - moomootv (07/26/2015) [-]
If it was an African parasols then maybe.
#5 - You've...put some thought into this  [+] (1 new reply) 07/25/2015 on Shooty Stealy 0
#6 - cydom (07/25/2015) [-]
I'll admit, I had some inspirational help from this unbelievably funny radio show.
BBC Radio: Old Harry's Game - Welcome To Hell
#4 - Get up Mama  [+] (4 new replies) 07/25/2015 on Fat Squirrel +72
User avatar #7 - Spitfirex (07/25/2015) [-]
Is this gilbert grape joke
#19 - ljn (07/25/2015) [-]
my lord that was a sad movie
#10 - lujan (07/25/2015) [-]
Close
#27 - bohemianblasphemy (07/25/2015) [-]
I laughed, but it hurt a little
#6 - This past 4th of July we had a dude off himself with a mortar…  [+] (1 new reply) 07/24/2015 on Rest in penis +39
User avatar #8 - Javapenguin (07/25/2015) [-]
Man I can tell you right now that even the most experienced pyromanics would end up killing themselves eventually if every day were 4th of july. I like emptying the contents of 40 mortars into an aluminum foil bowl, sticking a fuse in it, then duct taping the shit out of it
#6 - My roommate and I were walking home one night and found this d…  [+] (3 new replies) 07/22/2015 on Guard toad +88
#48 - anon (07/22/2015) [-]
The number of thumbs for this definition is truly disturbing
#15 - teFlyingNinja (07/22/2015) [-]
That face tho
#12 - masanori (07/22/2015) [-]
Yay.

Thank you.
#3 - it's going to be ok lil ***** , you can do it 07/16/2015 on The Feel Prince of Bel-Air 0
#1 - kilt master race 07/16/2015 on Pants +26
#6 - somebody posted something a while back about when anim…  [+] (2 new replies) 07/16/2015 on Happy Fox +3
User avatar #12 - mommamadeira (07/16/2015) [-]
What I know for sure is it's called Bite Inhibition.
#9 - anon (07/16/2015) [-]
I've heard that rabbits will sometimes nibble people to test how tough they are. I don't know if that's true so don't quote me on it.
#3 - R.I.P. in peace sweet prince  [+] (2 new replies) 07/16/2015 on Mitch Hedberg Compilation +19
#4 - anon (07/16/2015) [-]
Rest in piece in piece

ur a cunt m8
User avatar #6 - Savos Mok (07/16/2015) [-]
*peace
#11 - We call them June-bugs as well here in Texas, possibly the stu…  [+] (1 new reply) 07/11/2015 on How wrong i was. +4
#12 - Glitched (07/11/2015) [-]
It does not matter how backwards you are in Texas.
^ Those are known as Asian Lady Beetles.
They were brought to America to help with aphid infestations.

<--- Actual June Bug.
#5 - Picture  [+] (8 new replies) 07/11/2015 on This Town aint big enough +116
#26 - HAMMATIMEZ (07/11/2015) [-]
Clem! They got me Clem!

I don't think I've ever cried while making a joke before today
#34 - CAPSEDDIE (07/11/2015) [-]
#30 - expeditas (07/11/2015) [-]
the flashback at the end of season 2 though
#31 - HAMMATIMEZ (07/11/2015) [-]
Both seasons just had me all
User avatar #37 - sunibee (07/11/2015) [-]
Sauce?
User avatar #39 - admiralen (07/11/2015) [-]
some monogatari stuff
#32 - expeditas (07/11/2015) [-]
Lee, i miss you so much
#29 - uhh (07/11/2015) [-]
#6 - The mighty white whale hath been slain  [+] (1 new reply) 06/02/2015 on Bitch vs Meninist +354
#38 - MisfitsFan (06/02/2015) [-]
Obligitory
#3 - Crocodile Rock - Elton John, killer dance song 06/02/2015 on System of A Down syndrome +1
#1 - Man I was expecting his head to pop like a watermelon, safety …  [+] (7 new replies) 06/02/2015 on Safety ain't gay +451
#15 - anon (06/02/2015) [-]
eh even without his helmet he would be fine, humans are pretty durable, we just make machines that can split us up instantly which is why we feel so fragile
User avatar #72 - killerliquid (06/03/2015) [-]
the back of the skull is thinner than the front

that impact would have sent shards of bone into his brain killing him or blinding him in the best case scenario
#45 - ijustwannaplay (06/03/2015) [-]
vid.me/ScCX from /r/watchpeopledie
User avatar #33 - shenro (06/02/2015) [-]
dude, people die from getting hit by cars and hitting their heads on the concrete the same way this guy did, i doubt he would have gotten off fine without the helmet.
#26 - anon (06/02/2015) [-]
Did you even see how fast his head hit the ground? That shit would knock your brain against your skull and give you moderate-severe concussion.
User avatar #6 - kibbleking (06/02/2015) [-]
>>#2
#5 - kibbleking has deleted their comment.
#4 - Ya it does suck, what you're saying is right which is a damn shame  [+] (3 new replies) 05/30/2015 on best neeson. +3
#9 - bann (05/31/2015) [-]
It's the same reason restaurants throw out all extra food at the end of the night instead of donating it, because of liability. Laws make things stable, but they aren't always sensible.
#7 - anon (05/30/2015) [-]
And how does getting to spend a week on the International Space Station suck again?
#8 - bann (05/31/2015) [-]
No died icecream
#6 - My great uncle worked directly under Mike Huckabee for the Ark… 05/30/2015 on self fulfilling prophecy +3
#1 - First two times reading I thought it meant they'd be consuming…  [+] (2 new replies) 05/30/2015 on Die +56
User avatar #13 - mutzaki (05/30/2015) [-]
Have you seen so many tumblr posts that you don't recognize commas anymore?
#2 - lexoheight (05/30/2015) [-]
Yeah you figured out the joke, good for you
#2 - Watch a good friend of mine get attacked by an older asshole i…  [+] (5 new replies) 05/30/2015 on best neeson. +26
#3 - bann (05/30/2015) [-]
It sucks, but if the school takes a side in any case, they're open to so much legal liability. Not that that's right, but it is sensible.
User avatar #4 - dcooney (05/30/2015) [-]
Ya it does suck, what you're saying is right which is a damn shame
#9 - bann (05/31/2015) [-]
It's the same reason restaurants throw out all extra food at the end of the night instead of donating it, because of liability. Laws make things stable, but they aren't always sensible.
#7 - anon (05/30/2015) [-]
And how does getting to spend a week on the International Space Station suck again?
#8 - bann (05/31/2015) [-]
No died icecream
#3 - Poland inside France  [+] (1 new reply) 05/30/2015 on Cracked a cueball and found... +248
User avatar #8 - icewraithking (05/30/2015) [-]
Clever
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