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dagold

Rank #1668 on Comments
dagold Avatar Level 263 Comments: Pure Win
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Gender: male
Age: 25
Date Signed Up:1/19/2010
Last Login:12/22/2014
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#1854
Comment Ranking:#1668
Highest Content Rank:#971
Highest Comment Rank:#1722
Content Thumbs: 5763 total,  6449 ,  686
Comment Thumbs: 6912 total,  7840 ,  928
Content Level Progress: 8% (8/100)
Level 150 Content: Faptastic → Level 151 Content: Faptastic
Comment Level Progress: 51% (51/100)
Level 263 Comments: Pure Win → Level 264 Comments: Pure Win
Subscribers:2
Content Views:135136
Times Content Favorited:735 times
Total Comments Made:2385
FJ Points:11431

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  • Views: 51074
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    Uploaded: 08/03/11
    sxephil epic quote sxephil epic quote
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    Uploaded: 09/24/14
    having a bad day? having a bad day?
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    Uploaded: 07/27/14
    The gay avenger The gay avenger
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    Uploaded: 08/08/13
    thank you sir may I have another? thank you sir may I have another?
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    Uploaded: 05/02/10
    Point made Point made
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    Uploaded: 01/30/10
    pricelss backfire pricelss backfire
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  • Views: 919
    Thumbs Up 15 Thumbs Down 1 Total: +14
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    Uploaded: 05/04/11
    hobbit love hobbit love

latest user's comments

#90 - People can be hateful and cruel, but it takes a true monster t… 5 hours ago on Daww 0
#19 - Bean bag gun, notice how the guy just recoils in pain instead …  [+] (5 new replies) 14 hours ago on Mo Money +27
#104 - anonymous (7 hours ago) [-]
This kills the man if he's that close.
#55 - anonymous (10 hours ago) [-]
Bean bag can be lethal from that distance
#33 - notrueknight (12 hours ago) [-]
man that aint cool. those things still hurt like a sum bitch.
#92 - rainyeyes (8 hours ago) [-]
**rainyeyes used "*roll picture*"**
**rainyeyes rolled image**

that's too bad im sure the inventors intended for it to feel like cuddling with a fluffy bear sarcasm
#53 - toohntown (10 hours ago) [-]
"Hey look a guy with a gun trained to use it I should shove him that outta teach him!"
#31 - You clever **** , you. have a thumb. 15 hours ago on She triggered me! +3
#48 - I get the distinct impression you are an angry white girl with… 15 hours ago on Racism nd shit Pt.2 +1
#46 - I love how they needed two black guys 15 hours ago on Racism nd shit Pt.2 +1
#71 - Left her for cheating on me with another soldier, sadly. But n… 15 hours ago on Based Hotwheels 0
#69 - My ex wife made me do all the ******* work.  [+] (2 new replies) 15 hours ago on Based Hotwheels +1
#70 - angelusprimus (15 hours ago) [-]
EX being the key word here, I think
User avatar #71 - dagold (15 hours ago) [-]
Left her for cheating on me with another soldier, sadly. But now I have a cute 18 year old redhead for a GF so I'm fine with it.
#88 - Thanks for the pointers. I helped raise my niece from birth so…  [+] (2 new replies) 15 hours ago on Daww 0
User avatar #89 - holycrapimacupcake (9 hours ago) [-]
Anytime. We're a weird people, you'll find a lot of racists and perverts here, but when it comes to babies we get our shit down.
User avatar #90 - dagold (5 hours ago) [-]
People can be hateful and cruel, but it takes a true monster to hate babies I guess.
#12 - My daughter will be born in the next couple weeks, I look forw…  [+] (13 new replies) 12/21/2014 on Daww +64
User avatar #68 - TarnRazor (23 hours ago) [-]
Good luck!
User avatar #55 - holycrapimacupcake (12/21/2014) [-]
Also if you need to, like say if the baby is just being fussy to be fussy, let it cry, it's actually good for it, it'll let it get some steam out and it'll be out like a light. When my nephew was a few months old I'd do that when I was watching him, he'd just start crying for no reason, I'd just fed him and changed him, all the jazz, so I just tucked him into his crib and sat in the living room for a little while.
User avatar #88 - dagold (15 hours ago) [-]
Thanks for the pointers. I helped raise my niece from birth so the basic baby stuff I already have experience with, but I'm sure that the baby being mine will be a lot different.
User avatar #89 - holycrapimacupcake (9 hours ago) [-]
Anytime. We're a weird people, you'll find a lot of racists and perverts here, but when it comes to babies we get our shit down.
User avatar #90 - dagold (5 hours ago) [-]
People can be hateful and cruel, but it takes a true monster to hate babies I guess.
#52 - anonymous (12/21/2014) [-]
Please, always remember to be patient with the baby. Babies can't communicate their needs and desires very well, and so they will cry and scream. Just try to cool yourself down when you are stressed and don't freak out every time the little one shrieks. Also, try to touch and talk to you baby whenever you can. Babies literally need social interaction. Of course, they need alone time too, but seriously, give that baby some kisses and one-sided conversations sometimes.
User avatar #38 - DoktorHax (12/21/2014) [-]
In addition to what the other bloke said, store all your household chemicals above chest height. Soap, laundry powder, kitchen stuff, nuclear waste, and aerosols. And keep your cup of coffee far away from you if you are holding a child. Nothing worse than boiling hot coffee on both of you.
User avatar #33 - badsamaritan (12/21/2014) [-]
Have fun! Also good luck sleeping!
User avatar #29 - nikolaier (12/21/2014) [-]
Is the house childproofed?
No really, you can't have any edges, open power outlets or unlocked doors for areas she shouldn't be in.
Second, stock some cleaning supplies for every area you can think of. A child painting on a wall is very common.
A third tip I have is to make sure small things like keys will stay out of reach, and more importantly out of the mouth, of your child.
One more thing, you cant predict how fast a child is going to learn how to crawl or walk.
#36 - daniboyi (12/21/2014) [-]
Funnyjunk:
The only place on the internet where I can go from a joke about 9/11 and the holocaust, to seeing a person giving parent-advice.
User avatar #32 - imadps (12/21/2014) [-]
You can predict it, but according to my parents, I was walking before I could properly crawl at 8mos. old.

Locked doors shouldn't be a problem until like 10 months, but open plugins and small objects are spot on hazards. I've helped raised my two youngest siblings and it seems to be universal that small things have a craving for danger.

Also, close all low-height windows. My little brother was leaning out of a screenless window once and landed in a pile of snow. Lucky it was winter or he'd probably have cried.
User avatar #28 - sphincterface (12/21/2014) [-]
Congrats man. Babies are a real joy to raise, even though there are times you feel like you never get to sleep.
#15 - incoming (12/21/2014) [-]
I read that as "will be in porn in the next couple of weeks" and was confused. On a more serious note congratulations man.
#18 - I would watch that movie at least once, just to see how they p… 12/19/2014 on This would have been better +3
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Total unique items point value: 2050 / Total items point value: 2250

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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#50 - lordgeneral (04/06/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#48 - lordgeneral (03/22/2014) [-]
founded a cult with dagold
User avatar #49 to #48 - dagold (03/22/2014) [-]
excellent
User avatar #47 - scvice (01/19/2014) [-]
Nice Profile Pic
User avatar #10 - acharminbear (08/12/2013) [-]
So, I heard you were a soldier. Who do you fight for?
User avatar #46 to #10 - acharminbear (08/13/2013) [-]
(replying to this because it won't let me on the others)
What do you mean it sneaks up on you?
User avatar #11 to #10 - dagold (08/13/2013) [-]
I'm American.
User avatar #12 to #11 - acharminbear (08/13/2013) [-]
What branch?
User avatar #13 to #12 - dagold (08/13/2013) [-]
Army, combat medic
User avatar #14 to #13 - acharminbear (08/13/2013) [-]
Holy **** , that's exactly what i plan to do.
User avatar #15 to #14 - dagold (08/13/2013) [-]
Expect a long, tough road. And if you end up in foxtrot at AIT, expect to run a lot.
User avatar #16 to #15 - acharminbear (08/13/2013) [-]
**** . I hate running. Are you in the Rangers or Green Berets or anything of that sort?
User avatar #17 to #16 - dagold (08/13/2013) [-]
I hated running too, but then when you do battalion runs and you outrun 1200 other people you feel pretty good about yourself. And ha, no. I just got out of AIT about a month ago, I'm nothing special just yet. I can answer any questions about the training you have though.
#18 to #17 - acharminbear (08/13/2013) [-]
What's it like being a combat medic? Do people respect you a lot?
I meant to but this on my last picture.
User avatar #20 to #18 - dagold (08/13/2013) [-]
It is actually one of the most respected MOSs. If you show you know what you are doing people will always be happy to see you, call you doc, and if you are senior medical personnel you can order around a captain if the situation calls for it.
User avatar #22 to #21 - dagold (08/13/2013) [-]
Ah, right. Your MOS is your job in the military, and is run by codes. Infantry is 11B, medics are 68W, stuff like that. Medics are a high value addition to any squad because their job is to keep the soldiers alive, which usually causes them to be well guarded.
User avatar #23 to #22 - acharminbear (08/13/2013) [-]
Oh, okay. I'm sorry I'm asking a lot of questions, I plan on joining the second I'm 18 (I'm 15 now). Whats the best way to prepare? Right now I'm in football but I'm about to quit, and I'm in FFA. My school has an ROTC program, but the people in in aren't respected at all.
User avatar #24 to #23 - dagold (08/13/2013) [-]
Don't worry about asking the questions, my knowledge is no good if I can't share it. Honestly if you want to get ready for basic, do a lot of pushups, sit ups, and running and expect to do a lot of them. The PT tests run on these three and they are common methods of smoking. Another fun one is being left in the front leaning rest. If you want to know how much that sucks, get into the push up ready position and just stay there for a whole minute without flexing your back. Also, sleep while you can.
User avatar #25 to #24 - acharminbear (08/13/2013) [-]
I've done that push-up thing in football practices. Would it be a bad thing for me to quit football> Also, How would college work, because don't you need some form of doctorate to be a medic?
User avatar #26 to #25 - dagold (08/13/2013) [-]
quitting football won't hurt you other than needing a new way to stay in shape. As for a doctorate, no. You are thinking of a PA, which is an officer in charge of aid stations. To be a medic you need a national EMT certification but if you don't have one you get one while there, though that doubles your time at AIT. If you want your training to be 4 months (including basic) instead of six, get a national EMT cert before you ship out.
User avatar #27 to #26 - acharminbear (08/13/2013) [-]
Is that very hard?
User avatar #28 to #27 - dagold (08/13/2013) [-]
For some. For me it was pretty easy, but I've always been good at tests and paying attention. Once you get past EMT and pass your final PT test (This is halfway through AIT) you will receive gold phase privileges which is eating where you want for dinner and getting to leave post on weekends. After EMT is whiskey side, which is the actual medic training (medics are called 68 whiskeys) and it is much more physically demanding. I would call the EMT side death by power point, and whiskey side death by IV stick. Your final step will be camp bolis, which will be the most physically demanding and beat the hell out of you, but it is so worth it in the end.
#30 to #28 - dagold (08/13/2013) [-]
as context, me before heading out into the field
#31 to #30 - dagold (08/13/2013) [-]
and this is when I got back
User avatar #34 to #31 - acharminbear (08/13/2013) [-]
you don't look that different...
User avatar #29 to #28 - acharminbear (08/13/2013) [-]
This all happens within those 4 or 6 weeks?
User avatar #32 to #29 - dagold (08/13/2013) [-]
EMT is about 8 weeks total, but the actual class is six weeks. Whiskey side is another 6 weeks, then you go to bullis for two weeks, and then you have a week of out processing.
User avatar #33 to #32 - acharminbear (08/13/2013) [-]
So, if I were to get EMT done now, It would only be 15 weeks as opposed to 23?
User avatar #19 to #18 - acharminbear (08/13/2013) [-]
*comment
User avatar #35 to #19 - dagold (08/13/2013) [-]
(replying to this because it won't let me on the others)

I probably did the math wrong on that... AIT is 16 weeks total, 26 with basic training. As for the pictures I guess you can't see it as well, but I was bruised up and dirty. I could upload shots from the actual camp bollis training if you want though.

As for getting an EMT cert now, yes that will drastically shorten your training because you won't need the classes. You would be accelerated to a company already in gold phase. Just make sure it is a national cert, they won't take a state cert.
User avatar #36 to #35 - acharminbear (08/13/2013) [-]
Oh hell you are bruised up! Just wondering, whats you company and division?
User avatar #37 to #36 - dagold (08/13/2013) [-]
Currently awaiting permanent assignment, I report to my new unit this weekend actually.
User avatar #38 to #37 - acharminbear (08/13/2013) [-]
I have to report to school in a few days
User avatar #39 to #38 - dagold (08/13/2013) [-]
heh, it will fly by, it might feel like forever but when you walk into the auditorium and everyone is cheering it will hit you with a big old "Holy **** I'm graduating high school." You'll probably miss school for a year or two because you are bored, and then you will be happy to be free of all the drama.
User avatar #40 to #39 - acharminbear (08/13/2013) [-]
I won't be bored, I'll probably be in PT by then
User avatar #41 to #40 - dagold (08/13/2013) [-]
true enough. I waited until I was 22 to sign up (I'm 23 now) because I wanted to be sure it was what I wanted. Granted that makes my promotability a bit screwed up, but it doesn't matter.
User avatar #42 to #41 - acharminbear (08/13/2013) [-]
How easy is it to be promoted? I've seen a lot of shows that make it seem like a cakewalk, but both of my grandfathers were specialists and never anything more.
User avatar #43 to #42 - dagold (08/13/2013) [-]
going from private to specialist is literally just a matter of time if you don't **** up. After 6 months you go from pvt to pv2, another 6 months to a year is pfc, after another year or so is specialist. After that is NCO ranks, which you need to be an exceptional soldier to make because you are expected to lead. You go before a board and answer questions, and they decide if you deserve to be an NCO or not.
User avatar #44 to #43 - acharminbear (08/13/2013) [-]
That explains it. My grandpas probably didn't want to do that. Have you made any friends in the Army?
User avatar #45 to #44 - dagold (08/13/2013) [-]
Yes, quite a few. Some of them are even invited to my wedding. My room mate at AIT was my bunk mate in basic, so we were literally together non-stop for six months. He became like a brother to me, and I would trust him with my life any time. You are going to hate people in the army, and you will become family with people in the army, it sneaks up on you.
User avatar #9 - edzeppelin (04/13/2011) [-]
Friended for knowing Ron White :D
#4 - bobJML (03/06/2011) [-]
DUDE OMG WHAT'S UP?
DUDE OMG WHAT'S UP?
User avatar #5 to #6 - dagold (03/06/2011) [-]
Not too much here, congrats on reaching max level!
User avatar #6 to #7 - bobJML (03/06/2011) [-]
I'm not level 37 lol.
User avatar #7 to #8 - dagold (03/06/2011) [-]
Oh damn shows how much i pay attention! I level up pretty slow but mine is mostly through comments.
User avatar #8 to #9 - bobJML (03/06/2011) [-]
I'm almost at level 31. I need to upload some new content so I can level up.
User avatar #2 - ARealLiveKazakhGuy (05/20/2010) [-]
doctor, my sister has cancer.....
User avatar #3 to #4 - dagold (05/20/2010) [-]
Zombie cancer!
#1 - EmperorColo **User deleted account** (02/14/2010) [-]
1st
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