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crazymannequin

Last status update:
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Date Signed Up:4/09/2013
Last Login:9/27/2015
Stats
Content Thumbs: 982 total,  1076 ,  94
Comment Thumbs: 9061 total,  9294 ,  233
Content Level Progress: 0% (0/10)
Level 96 Content: Srs Business → Level 97 Content: Srs Business
Comment Level Progress: 23% (23/100)
Level 265 Comments: Pure Win → Level 266 Comments: Pure Win
Subscribers:0
Content Views:62686
Times Content Favorited:78 times
Total Comments Made:1335
FJ Points:7578

  • Views: 36912
    Thumbs Up 741 Thumbs Down 48 Total: +693
    Comments: 27
    Favorites: 48
    Uploaded: 10/20/13
    Here's Johnny Here's Johnny
  • Views: 4321
    Thumbs Up 46 Thumbs Down 4 Total: +42
    Comments: 14
    Favorites: 2
    Uploaded: 05/22/15
    fuck this planet fuck this planet
  • Views: 1295
    Thumbs Up 6 Thumbs Down 1 Total: +5
    Comments: 18
    Favorites: 0
    Uploaded: 12/04/13
    OH FUCK NO OH FUCK NO
  • Views: 7190
    Thumbs Up 123 Thumbs Down 12 Total: +111
    Comments: 6
    Favorites: 15
    Uploaded: 12/08/14
    getting technical getting technical

latest user's comments

#25 - I got a couple. One time when I was 11 or 12 I was riding my b…  [+] (3 replies) 09/08/2015 on Joey +52
#51 - kanaka (09/09/2015) [-]
8/10 raffed hard man. Anything else

We're greedy bastards, the lot of us
#68 - crazymannequin (09/09/2015) [-]
I don't know if this one falls in the same vein this has been described as more assholish than funny. But before I tell this one a little context is needed. This took place in a place called Carmel which is close to Monterey in cali. Carmel is known for its rich people were talking million plus dollar homes and the people can be snobbish, not in the sense where they they look down on people but think people need to wait on or for them.

So what happens is it was my dad, my brother, and I were in my dad's truck. We just got done watching a movie and the theater was in Carmel. As we were leaving the parking lot we pull up to a crosswalk. On one side of the street we see this Carmel girl getting ready to cross. No big deal, so she start crossing but taking her godamn time, she even fucking stops like a complete stop just to answer her phone like her mind can't do two things at once. So my dad rolls down her window to tell her to move. Which she responds with the single digit salute and begins to walk. Well before my dad could say anything back she starts to stumble and then falls in the crosswalk thanks to a hole. My brother had his window down and didn't miss a beat. He shouted out the window while pointing at the tree line across the street and said "Sniper in the trees!" The girls face gets beat red and quickly picks herself up snd finishes crossing.

Don't know if this will be funny but I remember me and my dad and brother laughing our assessment off

Mfw my brother said this
#40 - thenoahgoesree (09/09/2015) [-]
#4 - We never had this specific thing happen at my school but somet…  [+] (6 replies) 09/08/2015 on Joey +116
User avatar
#66 - fjaddictftw (09/09/2015) [-]
A special Ed teacher had a hitlist of my teachers in 8th grade. My English teacher was near the top and her room was right next to the cooky lady's. Our school was on lockdown when it happened.
#7 - twoderrick (09/08/2015) [-]
thats funny shit,
got anything else?
#25 - crazymannequin (09/08/2015) [-]
I got a couple. One time when I was 11 or 12 I was riding my bike down a hill pretty fast. My dad comes up behind me in his truck and I couldn't hear him where he proceeds to gets right behind me and blare his horn. I get the shit scared outta me and start peddling for my life. I was coming home from a friend's house and knew my parents weren't home so I blew past my house and went to my friends house (different ftiend) down the street and i knew he was home. I don't remember exactly what happened due to blinding fear but my dad said he'd never seen anyone peddle so fast in his life, and when I got close to my friends house he said I jumped off my bike while it was still going and ran to my friends front door. My dad calls me hotwheels to this day.

Gif relevant basically me
#51 - kanaka (09/09/2015) [-]
8/10 raffed hard man. Anything else

We're greedy bastards, the lot of us
#68 - crazymannequin (09/09/2015) [-]
I don't know if this one falls in the same vein this has been described as more assholish than funny. But before I tell this one a little context is needed. This took place in a place called Carmel which is close to Monterey in cali. Carmel is known for its rich people were talking million plus dollar homes and the people can be snobbish, not in the sense where they they look down on people but think people need to wait on or for them.

So what happens is it was my dad, my brother, and I were in my dad's truck. We just got done watching a movie and the theater was in Carmel. As we were leaving the parking lot we pull up to a crosswalk. On one side of the street we see this Carmel girl getting ready to cross. No big deal, so she start crossing but taking her godamn time, she even fucking stops like a complete stop just to answer her phone like her mind can't do two things at once. So my dad rolls down her window to tell her to move. Which she responds with the single digit salute and begins to walk. Well before my dad could say anything back she starts to stumble and then falls in the crosswalk thanks to a hole. My brother had his window down and didn't miss a beat. He shouted out the window while pointing at the tree line across the street and said "Sniper in the trees!" The girls face gets beat red and quickly picks herself up snd finishes crossing.

Don't know if this will be funny but I remember me and my dad and brother laughing our assessment off

Mfw my brother said this
#40 - thenoahgoesree (09/09/2015) [-]
#26 - **** that must have been the water war equivalent to a flame thrower  [+] (9 replies) 08/20/2015 on Has science gone too far? +25
#40 - artyomthebadass (08/20/2015) [-]
I used to have this as a kid. Held 20Litres of water
User avatar
#41 - artyomthebadass (08/20/2015) [-]
Sorry. Not 20 Litires. about 2 litres
User avatar
#57 - technobanana (08/20/2015) [-]
Was about to say 20ltrs seems like a bit too much!
User avatar
#45 - solidderking (08/20/2015) [-]
i was about to write that it seemed pretty small for 20 liter and that i doubt that a toy for children can weight that much, but then i saw, that you already corrected yourself. that thing must have been cool nonetheless
User avatar
#82 - artyomthebadass (08/20/2015) [-]
I felt like the Terminator walking into the water fights
User avatar
#83 - solidderking (08/20/2015) [-]
i think i can relate
User avatar
#31 - solidderking (08/20/2015) [-]
it was, it made everyone wet up to 20 meters away ( due to his modifications). he could wet a room in less than 3 seconds and he had no mercy
User avatar
#38 - rainbowrush (08/20/2015) [-]
If I was a girl and had that weapon in a water fight, damn right I'd be wet in less than 3 seconds.
User avatar
#39 - solidderking (08/20/2015) [-]
>implying you aren't wet right now
>implying you don't want my cousin or his 25 liter long range water thrower it werfs wasser
#9 - I'll never understand these modern day black movements. They a…  [+] (10 replies) 08/12/2015 on Sexual Innuendo +133
User avatar
#105 - donatelo (08/12/2015) [-]
yea...as someone who is neutral, they have just managed to pit me against them.
User avatar
#75 - atrocitustheking (08/12/2015) [-]
There are peaceful demonstrations, but those never make the news.
User avatar
#54 - whistleandrun (08/12/2015) [-]
You're talking about black americans like they're one homogenous group. The ones looting etc aren't usually politically active or aware, they just use the protests as an excuse to do criminal shit. The ones who actually care about black rights are usually smart enough to realise that violence gets you nowhere (or shot)
#111 - earthandfire (08/12/2015) [-]
Well said.
#95 - anon (08/12/2015) [-]
I wouldn't say violence gets you nowhere, but it's usually not a good place to go.
User avatar
#60 - shadowhorn (08/12/2015) [-]
this
User avatar
#34 - kitchendweller (08/12/2015) [-]
That specific black chick admitted that she didnt care if she set back the BLM movement with her actions and that she basically did it because he's a white liberal (even though she claims to be liberal now) and she wanted to make a scene to interrupt him (and Hilary has too many guards so she wouldnt be able to make a scene). She also said she did it through extreme religious motivation because she sees Bernie as an extreme far left liberal. Other people who used to see her at protest said that she'd only show up if it was guaranteed to be highly publicized. She has also made a statement that implies she doesnt give a shit about white's or white allies.

This bitch used to be a Palin supporter.
#37 - anon (08/12/2015) [-]
she's a bully
#30 - AnomynousUser (08/12/2015) [-]
Have this.
#13 - anon (08/12/2015) [-]
sjws are just backwards in general, everything they say about the world is the exact opposite of how things really are and everything they do is the exact opposite of what they claim to stand for
#10 - Picture 08/11/2015 on . +4