x

corporate

Last status update:
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Personal Info
Gender: female
Consoles Owned: PS4, Xbox360
X-box Gamertag: Thelastmentor
PSN: UnknownAuditore
Date Signed Up:2/11/2011
Last Login:8/29/2015
Location:USA
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#30
Comment Ranking:#720
Highest Content Rank:#16
Highest Comment Rank:#241
Content Thumbs: 217147 total,  229381 ,  12234
Comment Thumbs: 13790 total,  14795 ,  1005
Content Level Progress: 15.27% (1527/10000)
Level 316 Content: Wizard → Level 317 Content: Wizard
Comment Level Progress: 16% (16/100)
Level 299 Comments: Post Master → Level 300 Comments: Lord Of Laughs
Subscribers:53
Content Views:8166042
Times Content Favorited:14172 times
Total Comments Made:12414
FJ Points:171663
Favorite Tags: tumblr (8) | funny (6) | lol (5) | do (2) | You (2)
FunnyJunk Mod.

Funny Pictures

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    Jesus Jesus
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    Disney Facts 2 Disney Facts 2
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    Female Soldier Female Soldier
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    Disney facts Disney facts
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    Jackie Chan Facts Jackie Chan Facts
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    Petitions Petitions
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Funny Videos

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    Breaking band Breaking band
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    gatta go fast gatta go fast
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    (untitled) (untitled)
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    Mayonnaise Mayonnaise
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    GOTTA GO FAST GOTTA GO FAST
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    Breaking Band part 2 Breaking Band part 2
1 2 > [ 8 ]

YouTube Videos

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    scepter scepter

Funny HD Gifs

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Funny Gifs

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    Uploaded: 04/13/15
    mum used to date a bald guy mum used to date a bald guy
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    Hot peppers Hot peppers
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    Blowing a puppy Blowing a puppy
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    (untitled) (untitled)
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    go hard or go home go hard or go home
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    Uploaded: 06/09/15
    Awesome drawing Awesome drawing
1 2 > [ 11 ]

latest user's comments

#19 - ;)  [+] (1 new reply) 4 hours ago on cheese nips vs cheese itz 0
User avatar #20 - murrlogic (4 hours ago) [-]
No bully
#17 - Yeah, Like i said.  [+] (3 new replies) 4 hours ago on cheese nips vs cheese itz 0
User avatar #18 - murrlogic (4 hours ago) [-]
FJ mods don't get made into mods by bullying
User avatar #19 - corporate (4 hours ago) [-]
;)
User avatar #20 - murrlogic (4 hours ago) [-]
No bully
#15 - Is this murrlogic IRL?  [+] (5 new replies) 4 hours ago on cheese nips vs cheese itz 0
User avatar #16 - murrlogic (4 hours ago) [-]
He looks like Chris Chan and 100 minions fused together

User avatar #17 - corporate (4 hours ago) [-]
Yeah, Like i said.
User avatar #18 - murrlogic (4 hours ago) [-]
FJ mods don't get made into mods by bullying
User avatar #19 - corporate (4 hours ago) [-]
;)
User avatar #20 - murrlogic (4 hours ago) [-]
No bully
#4 - Picture 5 hours ago on Pepper Spray 0
#1 - lol  [+] (2 new replies) 6 hours ago on Pepper Spray 0
User avatar #3 - swigs (5 hours ago) [-]
corporate plz
User avatar #4 - corporate (5 hours ago) [-]
#866 - **corporate used "*roll 1, 1-9999999999999999999999999999*"**… 7 hours ago on Free Shit: 74 games... +1
#865 - **corporate used "*roll 1, 1-9999999999999999999999999999*"**… 7 hours ago on Free Shit: 74 games... +1
#8 - Haha I legitimately enjoy helping users. Have you met me Phan?  [+] (1 new reply) 18 hours ago on raribear's profile 0
User avatar #9 - phanact (17 hours ago) [-]
Xd
#7 - Yes. I am.  [+] (2 new replies) 18 hours ago on idevourskittles's profile 0
User avatar #9 - idevourskittles (18 hours ago) [-]
#8 - idevourskittles (18 hours ago) [-]
Kanye?
#941074 - wow rood 18 hours ago on Backroom Nuns 9 0

user's channels

Join Subscribe morbid-channel
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items

Total unique items point value: 39523 / Total items point value: 83643
[ 77 items Total ]

Comments(2358):

[ 2358 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#2000 - corporate (04/03/2015) [+] (5 replies)
stickied by corporate
2000 holy **** mother ****** !!!!!!
#1241 - Konix (02/13/2015) [+] (3 replies)
stickied by corporate
Yo corporate, you seem like a genuinely awesome person and you bring a smile to my face whenever I see your comments. I don't really do anything other than lurk but I figured you should know that your friendliness is contagious

Plus anyone who preaches the superior katawa is cool in my book.
User avatar #3115 - andra ONLINE (08/25/2015) [-]
please give me a colonoscopy
User avatar #3116 to #3115 - corporate (08/25/2015) [-]
those hurt
User avatar #3117 to #3116 - andra ONLINE (08/25/2015) [-]
i know
User avatar #3118 to #3117 - corporate (08/25/2015) [-]
yiu don't want one o.o
User avatar #3113 - warioteam (08/25/2015) [-]
ur handicapped waifu is ****
User avatar #3111 - KevinPutt (08/24/2015) [-]
/user/yrucheckingvotes suspicious
/backroom/921986#921986

thumbing his own comments maybe?
User avatar #3112 to #3111 - corporate (08/25/2015) [-]
nah it's an ALT account for ***** and gigs
#3105 - trisomytwentyone (08/22/2015) [-]
I have no real reason to be here but you're not talking to me and I'm bored.
User avatar #3109 to #3105 - corporate (08/24/2015) [-]
Love me
User avatar #3110 to #3109 - trisomytwentyone (08/24/2015) [-]
I do.
Are you not talking to me on Skype because you assume I'm not on? I'm always on, I just prefer invisible.
#3106 to #3105 - corporate (08/22/2015) [-]
Get back on skype
#3107 to #3106 - trisomytwentyone (08/22/2015) [-]
When Corp tells you to get back on Skype.
#3100 - zoroso (08/19/2015) [-]
How the **** do you send photos through private messages
User avatar #3101 to #3100 - corporate (08/19/2015) [-]
Link?
#3102 to #3101 - zoroso (08/19/2015) [-]
This is needlessly complicated
User avatar #3103 to #3102 - corporate (08/19/2015) [-]
you wanted to send it ^-^
#3065 - zoroso (08/14/2015) [-]
Hey corporate
User avatar #3066 to #3065 - corporate (08/14/2015) [-]
yo what's up dawg
#3067 to #3066 - zoroso (08/14/2015) [-]
Went to karlis today. Didn't smash
User avatar #3068 to #3067 - corporate (08/14/2015) [-]
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
what happened *****
#3069 to #3068 - zoroso (08/14/2015) [-]
Everything was going good, we talked a little and cuddled. But she started getting paranoid and thought it would be best if I left. I didn't even get a kiss. She apologized like crazy and said we will do it again sometime soon. So I've got that going for me. Even though we didn't have any "fun", it was probably the best day of my summer just to see her and to be so close.
User avatar #3070 to #3069 - corporate (08/14/2015) [-]
ahhhh i understand. But at least you got to se eher! That's still great!

Soon i expect. She's just gotta warm up more
#3071 to #3070 - zoroso (08/14/2015) [-]
Yeah, it felt so good to be so close. So kind, warm, soft, and she always knows how to make me feel better. I couldn't ask for anything else. I just hope I can see her again soon.
#3048 - zoroso (08/13/2015) [-]
CORPORATE!!!!!!!! I NEED TO TALK TO YOU IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!
User avatar #3049 to #3048 - corporate (08/13/2015) [-]
Yo what's up maTE
#3050 to #3049 - zoroso (08/13/2015) [-]
Alright, hard to talk because I'm super ******* excited. You know Karli? Well we just made a plan for me to sneak over to her house tomorrow and I can tell you, Someone's getting ****** LAID. It's like the gods of fate said "lets help the lil ***** " and it became so. I can't tell you how I feel right now, It has to be pure ecstasy. I just can't imagine the joy of seeing her after so long, It'll be bliss.
User avatar #3051 to #3050 - corporate (08/13/2015) [-]
WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
That's awesome! Bro you did it!
#3052 to #3051 - zoroso (08/13/2015) [-]
I know, I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack. It was so sudden and random I thought she was just joking, but she started giving me times and made sure I wouldn't be followed and I knew it was true.
User avatar #3053 to #3052 - corporate (08/13/2015) [-]
Have you ever slayed poon before bro?
#3054 to #3053 - zoroso (08/13/2015) [-]
No. That worries me. She said as long longer than 30 seconds, it should be fine.
User avatar #3055 to #3054 - corporate (08/13/2015) [-]
Oh my god she's gonna be your first?! That's adorable x3

You'll be alright. Just make sure it's in missionary position. and that you don't bust a nut immediately


You two are gonna be great
#3056 to #3055 - zoroso (08/13/2015) [-]
Thanks corporate, you always know what to say. If I could I'd make you my I'd make you scream first. Hopefully I don't get her preggers.
User avatar #3057 to #3056 - corporate (08/13/2015) [-]
Just don't bust a nut in her and you'll be fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

Or become a father *shrug* she seems cool.
#3058 to #3057 - zoroso (08/13/2015) [-]
I wouldn't do that to her  yet . She wants to travel the world and 			****		, I'd love to join her on that crusade.
I wouldn't do that to her yet . She wants to travel the world and **** , I'd love to join her on that crusade.
User avatar #3059 to #3058 - corporate (08/13/2015) [-]
get her pregnant in every country you visit. Have her give birth in everhy one of those countries
Have kids in every country in the world. Officially have a wider bloodline that the Huns
#3060 to #3059 - zoroso (08/13/2015) [-]
That.. Is the greatest plan I have ever heard in my entire life. It shall be done
#3061 to #3060 - corporate (08/13/2015) [-]
Make sure you snuggle her after. After sex snuggles are ******* amazing
#3062 to #3061 - zoroso (08/13/2015) [-]
Before and after baby. I don't **** around when it comes to snuggling.
User avatar #3063 to #3062 - corporate (08/13/2015) [-]
Cuddle her WHILST she's giving birth.
#3064 to #3063 - zoroso (08/13/2015) [-]
That is kind of disturbing but I'll ******* do it
User avatar #3044 - danmegaflakes (08/13/2015) [-]
HIGH FIVE
User avatar #3046 to #3045 - danmegaflakes (08/13/2015) [-]
With your hands
#3047 to #3046 - corporate (08/13/2015) [-]
I mean.. I would but
I mean.. I would but
User avatar #3039 - thechosentroll (08/13/2015) [-]
Quick question. Does someone have to be in my friends list for me to IM them? Because you are clearly online and this thing isn't doing jack **** .

Anyway, what'd you want to discuss?
User avatar #3040 to #3039 - corporate (08/13/2015) [-]
Nope.

Oh uh... I'll get back to you on it. Just act like I never said anything
User avatar #3041 to #3040 - thechosentroll (08/13/2015) [-]
Aaaaaaaaaaw. Can't I at least know what it was about? I'm curious now.
User avatar #3042 to #3041 - corporate (08/13/2015) [-]
I promise you will know soon enough
User avatar #3043 to #3042 - thechosentroll (08/13/2015) [-]
Define "soon". Because, depending on who you ask, it can mean 5 minutes and it can mean 11 months.
#3035 - hkfoortyseven (08/11/2015) [-]
Statement: I have come to the realization that you are not so bad.. for a meatbag.

Query: Are your internal systems fully operational as they should be?
#3036 to #3035 - corporate (08/11/2015) [-]
Well, I don't know if you consider that i have no arms "Fully Functional"   
   
But thank you. You're a very nice.... Droid?
Well, I don't know if you consider that i have no arms "Fully Functional"

But thank you. You're a very nice.... Droid?
#3037 to #3036 - hkfoortyseven (08/11/2015) [-]
Statement: Having no arms seems indeed incvonenient. How are you supposed to slaughter meatbags now?

Extrapolation: I am HK-47, an assassination droid and fluent in over 600 languages. There doesn't seem to be a hologram function on this website and I am stuck with disturbingly few pictures of myself.
#3038 to #3037 - corporate (08/11/2015) [-]
It isn't that inconvenient to me.. I can use my feet just as well as most people use their hands.

Also I can slaughter meatbag. heh.
User avatar #3033 - tenfinnvo (08/10/2015) [-]
You're cool.
#3034 to #3033 - corporate (08/10/2015) [-]
Thank you so much! That's so nice of you to say!
#3010 to #2988 - corporate (08/06/2015) [-]
I also have 3 black belts and 7 years competitive combat experience.
#3011 to #3010 - zoroso (08/06/2015) [-]
Jesus man, you are a weapon. Have you killed a man yet
#3012 to #3011 - corporate (08/06/2015) [-]
I uh.. I decline to answer...
#3013 to #3012 - zoroso (08/06/2015) [-]
I have, I didn't want to but I did it. It's haunting corporate. I think about it all the time but I know given the chance I would do it again
User avatar #3014 to #3013 - corporate (08/06/2015) [-]
I have dreams about killing people...

last nights dream ****** me up
#3015 to #3014 - zoroso (08/06/2015) [-]
You think it would be hard but it's like putting a knife in cold butter, seems tough but their isn't much resistance. the dreams are nothing like it
User avatar #3016 to #3015 - corporate (08/06/2015) [-]
Oh trust me.. I know the dreams are nothing like it. Real life is much easier.
In my dreams I kill other people.. different people...

In my dream last night i was in the hunger games. All the contestants were my friends. One was my father. I managed to hide and sneak about for a while before stealing a gun off of a guard. I then put bullets into multiple of my friends heads without hesitation. THen i got a long pairing knife after I rain out of bullets. I proceeded to slice the throat of several othe friends in close up detail. In the end it came to me having to kill my father. I woke up before I did..
#3017 to #3016 - zoroso (08/06/2015) [-]
I stabbed a guy in the spine three times in California two years ago. He was a bum who was robbing a lady and I just had to stop him. Figured out a few days later his name was Earl Spellman. I put so much force into it but all that did was make a bigger mess.
User avatar #3018 to #3017 - corporate (08/06/2015) [-]
I stabbed a guy once for trying to jump me and a friend. He pulled a knife on me and I put it into his gut. He had to have multiple surgeries to fix his organs. 6 inch blade to the lung isn't good I hear. I don't even know if he ended up keepin on or not. I never bothere dot find out. After court and everything I was let go and faced no charges. But my friend still brags to this day.

#3019 to #3018 - zoroso (08/06/2015) [-]
Few people know what I've done and I was never caught. The lady was ok and she led them to the body. I didn't leave my house for a week. At least it was fast, I hope
User avatar #3020 to #3019 - corporate (08/06/2015) [-]
**** happens.
Life happens.

I still wonder to this day if that kid survived or not. I'm assuming he did. I don't care either way. He pulled a knife on me and my friend. What do you expect? Me to just let him have the chance to harm us? No. NO that wont' happen...

Move on. It's the best choice you have.
#3021 to #3020 - zoroso (08/06/2015) [-]
I know. It was like I was a passenger in my own body, I had no control. Though I want to do it again. Why do I want to man? It's like I lost my self preservation. I wouldn't take care of myself. I would hurt myself, hurt others, take dumb risks that have had terrible consequences. Only these last few months I've been able to hold back some of the urges.
User avatar #3022 to #3021 - corporate (08/06/2015) [-]
I know the feeling. I've been having some very....concerning.... thoughts lately.
I don't want to think of myself as ****** up..or dangerous. But.. I don't know.
I think I'm totally capable of controlling myself..
but still. I've had dreams similar to this before. I just... I don't know what to think.

#3023 to #3022 - zoroso (08/06/2015) [-]
I have been to two therapists and they have both quit on me and ever since my  Attempted suicide  I haven't taken any medication what so ever. even the ones I need for my spine/ribs and schizophrenia, the pain is great but the fear is greater.  My parents have no idea or they don't care about whats going on. Karli has been my only outlet and I just want her to hold me and say things are ok.
I have been to two therapists and they have both quit on me and ever since my Attempted suicide I haven't taken any medication what so ever. even the ones I need for my spine/ribs and schizophrenia, the pain is great but the fear is greater. My parents have no idea or they don't care about whats going on. Karli has been my only outlet and I just want her to hold me and say things are ok.
#3024 to #3023 - corporate (08/06/2015) [-]
I've been miserable since my breakup. It was the extreme catalyst to destroying me. with 2 following suicide attempts.
Parkour was my outlet. It free's me. Parkour has saved me... But even with it. My life is still miserable and gloomed over by **** .

I'm trying to make the best of it.

Hey what am I gonna do? haha
#3025 to #3024 - zoroso (08/06/2015) [-]
Even if it was cut short, at least you had someone. I have spent my life in an empty house with everyone in it ignoring my existance. So many conversations with myself that I realized I'm not even fun to talk to in person. I also used to do parkour but I fell four stories and hurt my leg pretty bad. Never went to the hospital or knew the specifics of the injury but I need a cane if I'm walking long distances.
User avatar #3026 to #3025 - corporate (08/06/2015) [-]
i'll be back in a few hours. Gonna sleep real quick
love tyou
#3027 to #3026 - zoroso (08/06/2015) [-]
Alright, I have work in the morning anyways. love you
#3028 to #3027 - corporate (08/06/2015) [-]
ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
#2990 to #2989 - zoroso (08/06/2015) [-]
How are you?
User avatar #2991 to #2990 - corporate (08/06/2015) [-]
Not too bad
Just enjoying myself.
you?
#2992 to #2991 - zoroso (08/06/2015) [-]
I've been doing better, I have actually began talking to people more now. Especially My friend Karli Who is drop dead gorgeous and even got a job. I've been trying to better myself.
#2993 to #2992 - corporate (08/06/2015) [-]
Damn brother get it! I'm glad to hear you're doing well!   
   
I got my drivers permit last week  So i'm officially on the road. Driving without arms is challenging I promise
Damn brother get it! I'm glad to hear you're doing well!

I got my drivers permit last week So i'm officially on the road. Driving without arms is challenging I promise
#2994 to #2993 - zoroso (08/06/2015) [-]
Thanks, I know that feeling. I'm getting my full license in October.

Here's Karli

Goddamn she's a qt3.14
User avatar #2995 to #2994 - corporate (08/06/2015) [-]
Damn son. She is a qt! Lucky you man :3 any chance of you two maybe getting together?
#2996 to #2995 - zoroso (08/06/2015) [-]
God I hope so. We have tons of trust with each other and she does find me attractive. Maybe someday, if I'm lucky. She's the only person who as actually said they loved me, no one has ever done that, not even my parents. The only reason I wake up is to see her and talk to her.
#2997 to #2996 - corporate (08/06/2015) [-]
Boy I know that feeling... But she left me and is dating another guy!

I seriously hope you two love bugs make it happen :3 you're gonna be adorable.


Did you like the FJ dance video? haha
#2998 to #2997 - zoroso (08/06/2015) [-]
Hell yeah, you were tearing it up out there
#2999 to #2998 - corporate (08/06/2015) [-]
that was really annoying to film. I'm not even gonna lie. Plus I don't have a black tie so....
Also, my shirt isn't white. It's pink. But I made the vid black and white so you can't tell :3

You should join in on FJ dances! I'd love to see you bust a move!
#3000 to #2999 - zoroso (08/06/2015) [-]
I don't know. My dancing ranges from ketchup packet to white dad at barbecue. It's pretty bad
User avatar #3002 to #3000 - corporate (08/06/2015) [-]
There now the order is fixed and i'm on evens
User avatar #3001 to #3000 - corporate (08/06/2015) [-]
i bet it's awesome

also **** you you stole comment 4000
#3005 to #3004 - zoroso (08/06/2015) [-]
You having some trouble there friend? Also I don't dance
User avatar #3006 to #3005 - corporate (08/06/2015) [-]
you took my 3000k comment. I wanted all the thousands :l
Whatever it's okay cause i love you and i don't mind


I don't really either anymore. Hence why I wiggled my nubs
#3007 to #3006 - zoroso (08/06/2015) [-]
Are you implying you used to dance?
#3008 to #3007 - corporate (08/06/2015) [-]
I used ot be in a dance group haha We used to tear it up.

But I don't really do that anymore.
#3009 to #3008 - zoroso (08/06/2015) [-]
You get more interesting every time I talk to you
User avatar #2916 to #2915 - lightspeedtooslow (08/04/2015) [-]
I have some catching up to do
User avatar #2917 to #2916 - corporate (08/04/2015) [-]
Catching up on?
User avatar #2919 to #2918 - corporate (08/04/2015) [-]
Oh **** you god readded lmao

I though you were done for good
User avatar #2920 to #2919 - lightspeedtooslow (08/04/2015) [-]
Let's just say something major happened that is not exactly happy. I saw post was recruiting and pretty much picked up an old addiction

I might start drinking soda again too, send my life further down the drain
User avatar #2921 to #2920 - corporate (08/04/2015) [-]
****** A.
Well, welcome back. It's nice to have you here again
User avatar #2923 to #2921 - Felris (08/04/2015) [-]
>>2922,
I consider us three to be sort of the same generation of mods. Good to be together again
User avatar #2925 to #2923 - corporate (08/04/2015) [-]
It definitely is a good warm feeling. Now if only Vi rt could get his **** together
User avatar #2924 to #2923 - Felris (08/04/2015) [-]
stupid link didn't work. lightspeedtooslow
Welcome back
User avatar #2926 to #2924 - lightspeedtooslow (08/04/2015) [-]
Good to see ya
User avatar #2922 to #2921 - lightspeedtooslow (08/04/2015) [-]
I'm gonna try to make the best of it

This time I'll stay as long as I can, though I got a lot of vidya ripe for the playing
User avatar #2913 - friedgreenpomatoes (08/03/2015) [-]
i can smell you
User avatar #2911 - friedgreenpomatoes (08/03/2015) [-]
no homo
User avatar #2912 to #2911 - corporate (08/03/2015) [-]
no homo
User avatar #2907 - corporate (08/02/2015) [-]
Murrlogic wat
User avatar #2908 to #2907 - murrlogic (08/02/2015) [-]


Love you
User avatar #2903 - ambamzerotwo (07/31/2015) [-]
Hi Corps!
User avatar #2905 to #2904 - ambamzerotwo (08/01/2015) [-]
How's it going
User avatar #2906 to #2905 - corporate (08/01/2015) [-]
Just woke up. Getting ready to meet up with a freidn and go do some parkour training
User avatar #2899 - nelliel (07/28/2015) [-]
gay
User avatar #2902 to #2901 - corporate (07/28/2015) [-]
2funi
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