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cookedspider

Last status update:
-
Personal Info
Date Signed Up:4/01/2012
Last Login:7/17/2015
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#12272
Highest Content Rank:#1731
Highest Comment Rank:#2003
Content Thumbs: 6876 total,  7837 ,  961
Comment Thumbs: 5101 total,  5530 ,  429
Content Level Progress: 74% (74/100)
Level 168 Content: Soldier Of Funnyjunk → Level 169 Content: Soldier Of Funnyjunk
Comment Level Progress: 52% (52/100)
Level 249 Comments: Doinitrite → Level 250 Comments: Contaminated Win
Subscribers:1
Content Views:328099
Times Content Favorited:407 times
Total Comments Made:844
FJ Points:11849
Favorite Tags: pants (3) | fat pants (2) | i love you (2)

Funny Pictures

  • Views: 51496
    Thumbs Up 1530 Thumbs Down 103 Total: +1427
    Comments: 138
    Favorites: 143
    Uploaded: 04/26/13
    I bought fat pants and a gas mask I bought fat pants and a gas mask
  • Views: 34948
    Thumbs Up 1324 Thumbs Down 63 Total: +1261
    Comments: 47
    Favorites: 48
    Uploaded: 12/23/12
    forehead lips forehead lips
  • Views: 18463
    Thumbs Up 407 Thumbs Down 70 Total: +337
    Comments: 36
    Favorites: 20
    Uploaded: 12/16/12
    Indoor Parkour Indoor Parkour
  • Views: 13012
    Thumbs Up 284 Thumbs Down 24 Total: +260
    Comments: 5
    Favorites: 6
    Uploaded: 04/04/13
    My school is trying to tell me something My school is trying to tell me...
  • Views: 7862
    Thumbs Up 193 Thumbs Down 22 Total: +171
    Comments: 5
    Favorites: 4
    Uploaded: 09/06/12
    Breaking Bad Breaking Bad
  • Views: 3533
    Thumbs Up 109 Thumbs Down 10 Total: +99
    Comments: 1
    Favorites: 4
    Uploaded: 06/17/12
    Team Slayer Team Slayer
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YouTube Videos

Funny Gifs

1 2 > [ 9 ]

latest user's comments

#28 - I turned 70 two years ago 07/13/2015 on 13 going on 70 0
#240109 - I like to climb high things and drink a lot of red bull. L…  [+] (1 new reply) 05/19/2015 on FJ Backroom 0
User avatar #240162 - leafonthewind (05/19/2015) [-]
i too climb high things
#4 - Picture  [+] (12 new replies) 05/10/2015 on We Found Him +56
User avatar #42 - ryderjbudde (05/11/2015) [-]
Enemy wukong
#38 - sneezer (05/11/2015) [-]
Those fuckin balls
#45 - zaffy (05/11/2015) [-]
Did someone mention balls?
#48 - rollfourexplain (05/11/2015) [-]
**rollfourexplain used "*roll 1, 0000-9999*"**
**rollfourexplain rolls 8,415**

Woah. How do those even exist? They are the size of his head!
User avatar #6 - EaterofBabies (05/10/2015) [-]
Man, just look at that tiny little dongle.
User avatar #10 - Darianvincent (05/11/2015) [-]
Humans have the largest gentials of any primates apparently, even a gorillas is lower than asian tier.
User avatar #9 - ChuckNorrisVsMRT (05/11/2015) [-]
>The myth of BBC exposed!
#23 - destroyerofcheese (05/11/2015) [-]
British Broadcasting Corporation?
User avatar #25 - ChuckNorrisVsMRT (05/11/2015) [-]
big black british broadcasting corporation
User avatar #26 - destroyerofcheese (05/11/2015) [-]
Ah, the BBBBC. Of course.
#5 - anon (05/10/2015) [-]
Tired black man siting on the street resting after Baltimore riots.
#49 - anon (05/11/2015) [-]
Fucking original
#355 - I worry about anyone else's life as much as my own when it com…  [+] (1 new reply) 05/10/2015 on Morbid Photographs #2 +5
#454 - commencingfailure (05/10/2015) [-]
woa that's actually pretty cool. I would do something like that too if it wasn't for the fact im such a pussy bitch
#6 - Sweater stone is more efficient. Only issue is that it'll smel… 04/21/2015 on pills 0
#58 - My ex and I lasted two hours one night being our longest toget…  [+] (1 new reply) 04/21/2015 on How to last longer 0
#62 - kaizokuspy (04/21/2015) [-]
I do, but it's not so much a problem. Lasting for a good while makes any partner happy. Where it sucks though is the beginning part of relationship when you start having sex. Girl can't get you off in 15 mins like other men she's been with so she gets upset thinking there's something wrong with her. In the end, for me personally, it comes down to how firm the grip on my shaf is and rhythm of the sex. Basically, in our youth, we jacked it hard or squeezed to tight. If you want to fully correct the issue. Don't want it for 2 months. You will see a huge difference and sex will be just as pleasurable as your first time.
#207 - This comment is nothing more than me posting some rap/hip-hop …  [+] (3 new replies) 03/09/2015 on Rap 0
User avatar #266 - dorfdorfdorf (03/09/2015) [-]
>list of rappers
>not including watsky

get thee behind me, satan
#275 - Esplosions (03/09/2015) [-]
Watsky's amazing, I got to meet him last year at Warped tour.

but mfw no Gambino.
User avatar #210 - danmegaflakes (03/09/2015) [-]
How about lil b and brother Ali?
#50 - And they're ****** jacked.  [+] (4 new replies) 03/08/2015 on Evolution 2 +17
User avatar #134 - RaptorJesus (03/08/2015) [-]
Awh, i love beanbag chairs....
User avatar #84 - Gandalfthewhite (03/08/2015) [-]
They can tear eachothers arms off they're strong as fuck
User avatar #64 - Tyranitar (03/08/2015) [-]
#62 - piraterobins (03/08/2015) [-]
don't stare at the balls
#10 - It is m8 03/07/2015 on Now what? 0
#2514 - Y'know, I'm quite interested to see how well this could work o… 03/05/2015 on Hook up with an FJer 0

user's channels

Join Subscribe breakingbad
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items

Total unique items point value: 550 / Total items point value: 550
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #50 - folkflunky (03/28/2014) [-]
Hey.
#48 - anon (01/12/2014) [-]
You still go on funnyjunk ***** ?
You gay kid
#49 to #48 - anon (01/13/2014) [-]
Dis haaaxderp yo
#47 - someponynew (04/27/2013) [-]
HOLY **** ! YOU GO TO AITE TOO?
User avatar #44 - haaaxderp (04/02/2013) [-]
april fools *****
User avatar #45 to #44 - cookedspider (04/02/2013) [-]
HAGNMNDMN SFSJNFJ KDSLKFKJSD ALD TYOU DS

HUMPING MICE GIF FOR NO REASON NOW THANK YOU
User avatar #46 to #45 - haaaxderp (04/02/2013) [-]
dat wus hawt do
User avatar #41 - haaaxderp (02/16/2013) [-]
post .GIF as content dude
the "wut" gif
User avatar #42 to #41 - cookedspider (02/16/2013) [-]
So basically reposting what I last submitted but as a gif.
That or I have to think of some other title/desc. to go with it.
fak u fgt <4
User avatar #43 to #42 - haaaxderp (02/16/2013) [-]
The .gif is much funnier than the picture.
title it "MFW Harlem Shake"
give me dedz in desctiption
#39 - haaaxderp (02/14/2013) [-]
We have to do this when I get back.   
Broballs
We have to do this when I get back.
Broballs
#29 to #28 - cookedspider (12/18/2012) [-]
BRANDON! LDSFSNSJDFLSDJFFLJDSL YOU'RE BACK. GYM CLASS. TOMORROW 			*****		.  IT SUCKS.  EXCEPT FOR PUSHUPS AND RUNNING. SFPOJSF
BRANDON! LDSFSNSJDFLSDJFFLJDSL YOU'RE BACK. GYM CLASS. TOMORROW ***** . IT SUCKS. EXCEPT FOR PUSHUPS AND RUNNING. SFPOJSF
User avatar #30 to #29 - haaaxderp (12/18/2012) [-]
Well, apparently, by "come back on Monday" Mr Gross meant "Come back on Thursday". Also, i'm leaving for Pennsylvania Thusday morning.
See you in January.
#31 to #30 - cookedspider (12/18/2012) [-]
elwfhlsjfhd ok..welp, as long as you weren't expelled.  Still though, none of this should have happened.  I knew nobody who had proof of it.
elwfhlsjfhd ok..welp, as long as you weren't expelled. Still though, none of this should have happened. I knew nobody who had proof of it.
User avatar #32 to #31 - haaaxderp (12/18/2012) [-]
I got suspended for calling some kid who doesn't even go to AITE a ****** , and having a picture of a rifle saved on my laptop.
I am rage so hard.
#33 to #32 - cookedspider (12/18/2012) [-]
That's pretty 			*******		 stupid.  Hell, Conor, Schyler, and a few others tried to unionize and to shorten your suspension.
That's pretty ******* stupid. Hell, Conor, Schyler, and a few others tried to unionize and to shorten your suspension.
User avatar #34 to #33 - haaaxderp (12/18/2012) [-]
I know.
Joel even showed him messages from Lauren about **** .
We need to get everything we can, to prove that she's bullying me/us as a whole.
We can do this.
User avatar #35 to #34 - cookedspider (12/18/2012) [-]
Aye. The one thing that pissed us all off is that she got involved because she thought it'd be an opportunity to get you expelled. In the meantime, I have to shower and finish up my English project, and also Angerfist has some new **** with Miss K8. Sounds pretty ******* good. Hope you get your stuff back man and see you next year I guess. :/
User avatar #36 to #35 - haaaxderp (12/18/2012) [-]
She didn't do this because I was bullying her.
She did this because she wanted me expelled.
It makes me rage every time.
#15 - gamechap (09/28/2012) [-]
Want all my Breaking Bad gifs you whore?
Want all my Breaking Bad gifs you whore?
#9 - haaaxderp (08/12/2012) [-]
It appears you have quite a few items.
No rare ones though.

faggot
User avatar #10 to #9 - cookedspider (08/12/2012) [-]
All I need is some blue meth woman
User avatar #11 to #10 - haaaxderp (08/12/2012) [-]
I accepted the request negra
User avatar #12 to #11 - cookedspider (08/12/2012) [-]
I know. I need moar meth woman.
User avatar #13 to #12 - haaaxderp (08/12/2012) [-]
nah negra, my meth
User avatar #14 to #13 - cookedspider (08/12/2012) [-]
fak yu beer
#1 - haaaxderp (07/30/2012) [-]
feels good man
User avatar #2 to #1 - cookedspider (07/30/2012) [-]
Wait, you saw me making out with Kelly and felt it through your dick? dafuq bruh?
User avatar #3 to #2 - haaaxderp (07/30/2012) [-]
You made out with Kelly?
awesome
#4 to #3 - cookedspider (07/30/2012) [-]
No dammit. I woke up from a dream like that though.
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