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catburglarpenis    

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catburglarpenis Avatar Level 279 Comments: Ninja Pirate
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Gender: male
Age: 27
Date Signed Up:4/24/2013
Last Login:11/26/2014
Location:St Louis Missouri area USA
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#8943
Comment Ranking:#6346
Highest Content Rank:#5926
Highest Comment Rank:#249
Content Thumbs: 108 total,  157 ,  49
Comment Thumbs: 9865 total,  10969 ,  1104
Content Level Progress: 0% (0/5)
Level 7 Content: New Here → Level 8 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 68% (68/100)
Level 279 Comments: Ninja Pirate → Level 280 Comments: More Thumbs Than A Hiroshima Survivor
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Content Views:17228
Times Content Favorited:4 times
Total Comments Made:3725
FJ Points:8076
Favorite Tags: funny funny funn (5)
I'm just a noun wanting to be an adjective.

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    Uploaded: 04/22/14
    U fucking wot m8? U fucking wot m8?
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    FJ In a Nutshell FJ In a Nutshell
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    Uploaded: 07/26/14
    Desc. Desc.
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    Uploaded: 06/12/14
    Description Description
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latest user's comments

#188 - So you want me to fellate you? Not without a lengthy sword fig… 50 minutes ago on Ferguson 0
#165 - You lie!  [+] (2 new replies) 3 hours ago on Ferguson +1
#167 - Proximity (3 hours ago) [-]
More to the point, you may use your mouth and bottom to great affect, my dear cat burglaring penis.

Alton's a three-hour drive from here

But the point still stands.
#188 - catburglarpenis (50 minutes ago) [-]
So you want me to fellate you? Not without a lengthy sword fight mister.

No dice.
#158 - That defeats the whole purpose of proximity!  [+] (4 new replies) 4 hours ago on Ferguson +1
#160 - Proximity (4 hours ago) [-]
Hon hon, lucky you, I am multi-purpose.
There's much more to do in Illinois besides touching dicks...
#165 - catburglarpenis (3 hours ago) [-]
You lie!
#167 - Proximity (3 hours ago) [-]
More to the point, you may use your mouth and bottom to great affect, my dear cat burglaring penis.

Alton's a three-hour drive from here

But the point still stands.
#188 - catburglarpenis (50 minutes ago) [-]
So you want me to fellate you? Not without a lengthy sword fight mister.

No dice.
#111 - Well I'm excited. 5 hours ago on Ferguson 0
#105 - I live in Alton on the Illinois side. Wanna touch dicks?!  [+] (8 new replies) 5 hours ago on Ferguson 0
#136 - therobedpineapple (5 hours ago) [-]
30 minutes North-east of alton, no dick touching though
#158 - catburglarpenis (4 hours ago) [-]
That defeats the whole purpose of proximity!
#160 - Proximity (4 hours ago) [-]
Hon hon, lucky you, I am multi-purpose.
There's much more to do in Illinois besides touching dicks...
#165 - catburglarpenis (3 hours ago) [-]
You lie!
#167 - Proximity (3 hours ago) [-]
More to the point, you may use your mouth and bottom to great affect, my dear cat burglaring penis.

Alton's a three-hour drive from here

But the point still stands.
#188 - catburglarpenis (50 minutes ago) [-]
So you want me to fellate you? Not without a lengthy sword fight mister.

No dice.
#109 - furiousmarshmellow (5 hours ago) [-]
I live only 20 minutes away from Alton on Illinois side.

Let's have sexual intercourse.
#111 - catburglarpenis (5 hours ago) [-]
Well I'm excited.
#509 - > Ascendency I could get anything done, son. You k… 11/25/2014 on Choices 0
#322 - I do twice the work, and get twice the paycheck. It only makes sense. 11/25/2014 on Check your health privilege 0
#407 - 1) Randomly 2) Randomly 3) Safari (Mac Monster Race) 4) 11/24/2014 on Anyone getting logged out? 0
#320 - Combine this: with this: And put it in a b…  [+] (2 new replies) 11/24/2014 on Check your health privilege 0
User avatar #321 - warmbuns (11/25/2014) [-]
damn, that sucks bro. In bootcamp we barely did chin-ups. It was just a lot of mountain climbers, hiking, and push-ups.
#322 - catburglarpenis (11/25/2014) [-]
I do twice the work, and get twice the paycheck. It only makes sense.
#294 - #that'snothowitworks  [+] (4 new replies) 11/23/2014 on Check your health privilege 0
User avatar #319 - warmbuns (11/24/2014) [-]
then how does it work?
My unit doesn't PT, we do it on our own time
User avatar #320 - catburglarpenis (11/24/2014) [-]
Combine this: pt365.militarytimes.com/2014/10/16/crossfit-vs-unit-pt-troops-will-do-the-training-plans-in-whats-likely-the-biggest-crossfit-study-ever/

with this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=evcNPfZlrZs

And put it in a blender. Now drink it.

Basically, in Army ROTC we do a 5 mile run on Monday, Sprints and a Crossfit-style WOD on Tuesday, Legs on Wednesday (which usually involves MORE sprints and a 3 mile run, along with enough front squads to make a Bulgarian blush), Upper Body on Thursday (involving more Pushups than Jack Lalanne did in his whole lifetime, and more Chinups than a Marine does during his entire time in boot camp), and an 8 mile ruck march on Friday, all while doing what amounts to a Goddamn FTX on Thursday, with usually an additional one on the weekends, while trying desperately to get some fucking sleep in all this.

Yeah, I was prior enlisted. Active Duty too. So were a lot of other people in the program. This is a lot harder. Maybe that's why they call it "Surviving Westpoint" instead of "Oh man, all officers ARE pussies!"
User avatar #321 - warmbuns (11/25/2014) [-]
damn, that sucks bro. In bootcamp we barely did chin-ups. It was just a lot of mountain climbers, hiking, and push-ups.
#322 - catburglarpenis (11/25/2014) [-]
I do twice the work, and get twice the paycheck. It only makes sense.
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Total unique items point value: 1550 / Total items point value: 1950

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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#1 - harrisonfordor (09/28/2013) [-]
I just took your profile comment virginity.
I just took your profile comment virginity.
#2 to #1 - catburglarpenis (09/28/2013) [-]
Now I feel all dirty mmmmmm...
#3 to #2 - harrisonfordor (09/28/2013) [-]
This bra intrigues me.
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