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carlonord

Last status update:
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Personal Info
Gender: male
Date Signed Up:7/30/2012
Last Login:8/02/2015
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#1710
Highest Content Rank:#3293
Highest Comment Rank:#897
Content Thumbs: 602 total,  672 ,  70
Comment Thumbs: 11946 total,  12677 ,  731
Content Level Progress: 70% (7/10)
Level 51 Content: Sammich eater → Level 52 Content: Sammich eater
Comment Level Progress: 52% (52/100)
Level 293 Comments: Post Master → Level 294 Comments: Post Master
Subscribers:0
Content Views:36692
Times Content Favorited:69 times
Total Comments Made:2676
FJ Points:9891
Favorite Tags: bullshit (2) | sjw (2)

latest user's comments

#30 - Fluffy's a prick, not so much an issue now that I know where h…  [+] (7 new replies) 05/28/2015 on Oh, well okay than. 0
#31 - larknok (05/29/2015) [-]
Since the last patch, there's a path from the Dam to PV. The path has tons of goodies in it now.

I've actually never been to PV. I'm 80 days into my Voyager run, and I'm thinking about going once I run out of resources. I shouldn't have to go for another 100 days tho, lol.
User avatar #32 - carlonord (05/29/2015) [-]
I made it to 50 days personally, could've gone on for waaaayyyyy longer, but the patch before the bow and arrow one caused all the containers in my safe house in the costal town to reset, while no other house did. So I decided to waste my time with what little was on me to get to 50 days, and haven't played since.
#33 - larknok (05/29/2015) [-]
> Not sleeping all your days away in the Camping Office near Mystery Lake.
> Git gud scrub.
User avatar #34 - carlonord (05/29/2015) [-]
Well that's what I was doing with my good friend Corner Corpse, but then I was beginning to run low on bullets, and had already looted the majority of the map, save the dam. So what I did was bugger off to the dam, killed the demon, then stayed a night with the food I got from it. From there, I just buggered off and made a beeline for the gas station. After which I changed my safe house to the house with the deck near the cabin on the hill, still in town. But what was nice about this place, is the bed and general heat of the place meant I could be naked and still not get cold. The location in the town also meant that all I had to do for food once I raided the map was walk outside, find a deer and herd it to a wolf, getting both their meat once wolf was shot. Or I could strut outside, blast an animal and eat forever. Or of course, live for years off my endless food supply of something like 50kg of wolf and deer meat, plus triple that in canned crap and such, plus 50kg of water.
#35 - larknok (05/29/2015) [-]
How to Survive a Long Fucking Time in The Long Dark:

1.) Locate all the items -- bullets, tools, guns, clothes, etc. you can. Efficiently bring them to the Camping Office.

2.) Kill Deer with minimum work / resources. This involves driving them into wolves, and then scaring the wolves off with a flare / torch, shooting the wolf in the head while he's eating, or moving in to knife the wolf with a nearly 100% knife for maximum damage and fear to the wolf. If knifing wolf, pray for no condition, and if you get no condition after the wolf runs, just extract meat from the deer and the wolf will immediately die of blood loss wherever he's standing due to the time lapse and knife injury.

3.) Make full set of Animal clothes. Maintain them with efficient kills like driving them into wolves or the knife+bleed out time lapse combo. Maintain non-animal clothes with whatever cloth you can salvage from non god-tier clothes you pick up.

4.) If you spot a bear that you can shoot from the nearest building to it, shoot the bear once, run into the house, sleep 12-15 hours, exit house. Bear dies instantly in front of you from time lapse blood loss, then you extract 30-50 kg of 900 calorie Bear Meat from the bear and dump it inside before moving it back to your main base.

5.) Maintain massive water and wood supply for when shit gets real.

6.) Now and then make voyages out to fringes of the map to pick up supplies you need for late game survival -- like the plants you can use for replacing antiseptic (Old Man's Beard Lichen bandages) and for replacing antibiotics (Reichi Tea made from Reichi mushrooms.)

7.) Sleep a metric fuck ton to use up all the resources you efficiently gain. No point doing something every day. Your meat density will get so high you'll have wasted bullets with no significant time gain.
User avatar #38 - carlonord (05/29/2015) [-]
This little guide implies that the camp office is the best place of a main base. Idk it seems like a pain in the ass to lug everything back there from elsewhere, but with the new way from the valley to the lake, it might be more viable.
#39 - larknok (05/29/2015) [-]
It's hard to move stuff from PV and CH to the Camp Office, but it is actually the best place for fast and consistent access to Deer, Wolves, and Fish alongside an indoor stove, an indoor crafting table, an indoor bed, and many containers for storage.
#28 - And then there's this asshole. The dam was spooky enough befor…  [+] (9 new replies) 05/28/2015 on Oh, well okay than. +2
#29 - larknok (05/28/2015) [-]
Fluffy is love. Fluffy is life.
User avatar #30 - carlonord (05/28/2015) [-]
Fluffy's a prick, not so much an issue now that I know where he spawns and how to engage him, but he's still a jarring experience every time I have to go in there and he's there. Btw, you know the big cave in Pleasant Valley? Is it worth goin inside? It's quite dark and I've only been there once, just when I spawn at the mouth then had to leave. It's also been the only time I was in PV, other than walking from the highway just to unlock the place.
#31 - larknok (05/29/2015) [-]
Since the last patch, there's a path from the Dam to PV. The path has tons of goodies in it now.

I've actually never been to PV. I'm 80 days into my Voyager run, and I'm thinking about going once I run out of resources. I shouldn't have to go for another 100 days tho, lol.
User avatar #32 - carlonord (05/29/2015) [-]
I made it to 50 days personally, could've gone on for waaaayyyyy longer, but the patch before the bow and arrow one caused all the containers in my safe house in the costal town to reset, while no other house did. So I decided to waste my time with what little was on me to get to 50 days, and haven't played since.
#33 - larknok (05/29/2015) [-]
> Not sleeping all your days away in the Camping Office near Mystery Lake.
> Git gud scrub.
User avatar #34 - carlonord (05/29/2015) [-]
Well that's what I was doing with my good friend Corner Corpse, but then I was beginning to run low on bullets, and had already looted the majority of the map, save the dam. So what I did was bugger off to the dam, killed the demon, then stayed a night with the food I got from it. From there, I just buggered off and made a beeline for the gas station. After which I changed my safe house to the house with the deck near the cabin on the hill, still in town. But what was nice about this place, is the bed and general heat of the place meant I could be naked and still not get cold. The location in the town also meant that all I had to do for food once I raided the map was walk outside, find a deer and herd it to a wolf, getting both their meat once wolf was shot. Or I could strut outside, blast an animal and eat forever. Or of course, live for years off my endless food supply of something like 50kg of wolf and deer meat, plus triple that in canned crap and such, plus 50kg of water.
#35 - larknok (05/29/2015) [-]
How to Survive a Long Fucking Time in The Long Dark:

1.) Locate all the items -- bullets, tools, guns, clothes, etc. you can. Efficiently bring them to the Camping Office.

2.) Kill Deer with minimum work / resources. This involves driving them into wolves, and then scaring the wolves off with a flare / torch, shooting the wolf in the head while he's eating, or moving in to knife the wolf with a nearly 100% knife for maximum damage and fear to the wolf. If knifing wolf, pray for no condition, and if you get no condition after the wolf runs, just extract meat from the deer and the wolf will immediately die of blood loss wherever he's standing due to the time lapse and knife injury.

3.) Make full set of Animal clothes. Maintain them with efficient kills like driving them into wolves or the knife+bleed out time lapse combo. Maintain non-animal clothes with whatever cloth you can salvage from non god-tier clothes you pick up.

4.) If you spot a bear that you can shoot from the nearest building to it, shoot the bear once, run into the house, sleep 12-15 hours, exit house. Bear dies instantly in front of you from time lapse blood loss, then you extract 30-50 kg of 900 calorie Bear Meat from the bear and dump it inside before moving it back to your main base.

5.) Maintain massive water and wood supply for when shit gets real.

6.) Now and then make voyages out to fringes of the map to pick up supplies you need for late game survival -- like the plants you can use for replacing antiseptic (Old Man's Beard Lichen bandages) and for replacing antibiotics (Reichi Tea made from Reichi mushrooms.)

7.) Sleep a metric fuck ton to use up all the resources you efficiently gain. No point doing something every day. Your meat density will get so high you'll have wasted bullets with no significant time gain.
User avatar #38 - carlonord (05/29/2015) [-]
This little guide implies that the camp office is the best place of a main base. Idk it seems like a pain in the ass to lug everything back there from elsewhere, but with the new way from the valley to the lake, it might be more viable.
#39 - larknok (05/29/2015) [-]
It's hard to move stuff from PV and CH to the Camp Office, but it is actually the best place for fast and consistent access to Deer, Wolves, and Fish alongside an indoor stove, an indoor crafting table, an indoor bed, and many containers for storage.
#84 - Comment deleted 05/28/2015 on (untitled) 0
#10 - >Insecure and attention whores Sounds about right, than… 05/28/2015 on feminism +5
#60 - It's funny, I remember reading that a lot of countries experie… 05/28/2015 on Interesting Facts +2
#3 - What is it with these people and dying their hair, my ex was t…  [+] (8 new replies) 05/28/2015 on feminism +13
User avatar #23 - yeahvinyl (05/28/2015) [-]
Are you insulting those who dye their hair unnaturally or insulting the "feminist" gamer gate anti sexiest whatever-the-fucks on twitter?
User avatar #37 - penileburglar (05/29/2015) [-]
It's an "many neckbeards wear fedoras, but not all those who wear fedoras are neckbeards" kind of thing.

There are people with colored hair who are fine. They do it for fashion, artistic expression, showing school or team spirit, fun, etc. There are also people with colored hair who are simply 'rebel without a cause' types begging for attention. Feminazis definitely fall into the latter category.
#16 - shenro (05/28/2015) [-]
she started doing it too
User avatar #6 - penileburglar (05/28/2015) [-]
While they won't admit it, most of these people are insecure and seek attention, yet lack the social skills and body to do so properly. Bright, colored hair is an easy attention-getter and conversation starter for the socially inept.
#14 - anon (05/28/2015) [-]
Yeah yet every post in which hair color was mentioned on this website i got -100 thumbs for saying exactly the same thing as you. This website is only bad after the kids get home from school
User avatar #35 - penileburglar (05/29/2015) [-]
There's a difference between generalizing all people with colored hair and explaining why a specific group of people have colored hair--the fact that you don't understand that difference is why you got red thumbs, but because of YOUR ego you have to blame your own shortcomings on imaginary external circumstances.
User avatar #30 - trivdiego (05/29/2015) [-]
how is that supposed to make sense when kids get home at different times based on their time zones
User avatar #10 - carlonord (05/28/2015) [-]
>Insecure and attention whores
Sounds about right, thanks internet person.
#14 - Eh, not the gayest thing I've experienced, but not much comes …  [+] (1 new reply) 05/27/2015 on nataliedormer's profile 0
User avatar #15 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
That musta been an experience
#12 - ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°) So what's in your pants then? …  [+] (3 new replies) 05/27/2015 on nataliedormer's profile 0
User avatar #13 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Yeah, I'm a guy, and this is totally gay
User avatar #14 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
Eh, not the gayest thing I've experienced, but not much comes close to having a guy just straight out say he'd fuck me after just meeting me.
User avatar #15 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
That musta been an experience
#10 - Picture  [+] (5 new replies) 05/27/2015 on nataliedormer's profile 0
User avatar #11 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
_
User avatar #12 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

So what's in your pants then? Cause homo levels are reaching critical mass on this profile.
User avatar #13 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Yeah, I'm a guy, and this is totally gay
User avatar #14 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
Eh, not the gayest thing I've experienced, but not much comes close to having a guy just straight out say he'd fuck me after just meeting me.
User avatar #15 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
That musta been an experience
#8 - Picture  [+] (7 new replies) 05/27/2015 on nataliedormer's profile 0
User avatar #9 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
User avatar #10 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
User avatar #11 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
_
User avatar #12 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

So what's in your pants then? Cause homo levels are reaching critical mass on this profile.
User avatar #13 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Yeah, I'm a guy, and this is totally gay
User avatar #14 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
Eh, not the gayest thing I've experienced, but not much comes close to having a guy just straight out say he'd fuck me after just meeting me.
User avatar #15 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
That musta been an experience
#6 - ... well that used to work before the whole drag gif size thing... 05/27/2015 on nataliedormer's profile 0
#5 - Picture  [+] (10 new replies) 05/27/2015 on nataliedormer's profile 0
#7 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Mistakes were made
User avatar #8 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
User avatar #9 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
User avatar #10 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
User avatar #11 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
_
User avatar #12 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

So what's in your pants then? Cause homo levels are reaching critical mass on this profile.
User avatar #13 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Yeah, I'm a guy, and this is totally gay
User avatar #14 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
Eh, not the gayest thing I've experienced, but not much comes close to having a guy just straight out say he'd fuck me after just meeting me.
User avatar #15 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
That musta been an experience
User avatar #6 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
... well that used to work before the whole drag gif size thing...
#37 - Agreed No homo?  [+] (1 new reply) 05/27/2015 on Car 3 0
User avatar #38 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
total homo
#35 - If I lay here...... If I just lay here  [+] (3 new replies) 05/27/2015 on Car 3 +1
User avatar #36 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Would you lie with me and just forget the world? That was amazing
User avatar #37 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
Agreed No homo?
User avatar #38 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
total homo
#33 - I don't know where....... Confused about how as well  [+] (5 new replies) 05/27/2015 on Car 3 +1
User avatar #34 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Just know that these things will never change for us at all
User avatar #35 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
If I lay here...... If I just lay here
User avatar #36 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Would you lie with me and just forget the world? That was amazing
User avatar #37 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
Agreed No homo?
User avatar #38 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
total homo
#31 - All that I am....... All that I ever was  [+] (7 new replies) 05/27/2015 on Car 3 +1
User avatar #32 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see
User avatar #33 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
I don't know where....... Confused about how as well
User avatar #34 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Just know that these things will never change for us at all
User avatar #35 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
If I lay here...... If I just lay here
User avatar #36 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Would you lie with me and just forget the world? That was amazing
User avatar #37 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
Agreed No homo?
User avatar #38 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
total homo
#29 - Before we get too old  [+] (9 new replies) 05/27/2015 on Car 3 +1
User avatar #30 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
User avatar #31 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
All that I am....... All that I ever was
User avatar #32 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see
User avatar #33 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
I don't know where....... Confused about how as well
User avatar #34 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Just know that these things will never change for us at all
User avatar #35 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
If I lay here...... If I just lay here
User avatar #36 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Would you lie with me and just forget the world? That was amazing
User avatar #37 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
Agreed No homo?
User avatar #38 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
total homo
#27 - Would you lie with me and just forget the world?  [+] (11 new replies) 05/27/2015 on Car 3 +1
User avatar #28 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Forget what we're told
User avatar #29 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
Before we get too old
User avatar #30 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
User avatar #31 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
All that I am....... All that I ever was
User avatar #32 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see
User avatar #33 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
I don't know where....... Confused about how as well
User avatar #34 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Just know that these things will never change for us at all
User avatar #35 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
If I lay here...... If I just lay here
User avatar #36 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Would you lie with me and just forget the world? That was amazing
User avatar #37 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
Agreed No homo?
User avatar #38 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
total homo
#25 - If I lay here Ran out or replies  [+] (13 new replies) 05/27/2015 on Car 3 +1
User avatar #26 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
If I just lay here Oh shiet
User avatar #27 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
User avatar #28 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Forget what we're told
User avatar #29 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
Before we get too old
User avatar #30 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
User avatar #31 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
All that I am....... All that I ever was
User avatar #32 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see
User avatar #33 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
I don't know where....... Confused about how as well
User avatar #34 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Just know that these things will never change for us at all
User avatar #35 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
If I lay here...... If I just lay here
User avatar #36 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Would you lie with me and just forget the world? That was amazing
User avatar #37 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
Agreed No homo?
User avatar #38 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
total homo
#23 - To remind me  [+] (1 new reply) 05/27/2015 on Car 3 +1
User avatar #24 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
To find my own
#21 - Around our heads  [+] (3 new replies) 05/27/2015 on Car 3 +1
User avatar #22 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
I need your grace
User avatar #23 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
To remind me
User avatar #24 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
To find my own
#19 - Let's waste time  [+] (5 new replies) 05/27/2015 on Car 3 +1
User avatar #20 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Chasing cars
User avatar #21 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
Around our heads
User avatar #22 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
I need your grace
User avatar #23 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
To remind me
User avatar #24 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
To find my own
#17 - Show me a garden  [+] (7 new replies) 05/27/2015 on Car 3 +1
User avatar #18 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
that's bursting into life
User avatar #19 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
Let's waste time
User avatar #20 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Chasing cars
User avatar #21 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
Around our heads
User avatar #22 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
I need your grace
User avatar #23 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
To remind me
User avatar #24 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
To find my own
#15 - Forget what we're told  [+] (9 new replies) 05/27/2015 on Car 3 +1
User avatar #16 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Before we get too old
User avatar #17 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
Show me a garden
User avatar #18 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
that's bursting into life
User avatar #19 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
Let's waste time
User avatar #20 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Chasing cars
User avatar #21 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
Around our heads
User avatar #22 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
I need your grace
User avatar #23 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
To remind me
User avatar #24 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
To find my own
#13 - If I just lay here  [+] (11 new replies) 05/27/2015 on Car 3 +1
User avatar #14 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
User avatar #15 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
Forget what we're told
User avatar #16 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Before we get too old
User avatar #17 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
Show me a garden
User avatar #18 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
that's bursting into life
User avatar #19 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
Let's waste time
User avatar #20 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
Chasing cars
User avatar #21 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
Around our heads
User avatar #22 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
I need your grace
User avatar #23 - carlonord (05/27/2015) [-]
To remind me
User avatar #24 - nataliedormer (05/27/2015) [-]
To find my own

items

Total unique items point value: 550 / Total items point value: 750

Comments(50):

carlonord has disabled anonymous comments.
[ 50 comments ]
#44 - mcburd ONLINE (01/07/2015) [+] (4 replies)
stickied by carlonord
#29 - therealsuperderpy (08/09/2014) [-]
stickied by carlonord
User avatar #51 - therealsuperderpy (07/29/2015) [-]
ily
User avatar #42 - gugek (01/03/2015) [-]
Have a great day homie your the best
User avatar #40 - pumkinz (11/11/2014) [-]
Why havent you opened that chest?
User avatar #41 to #40 - carlonord (11/11/2014) [-]
Because I literally do not give a **** , and rarely even look at my profile.
User avatar #39 - energyman (09/07/2014) [-]
You're kinda gay
User avatar #38 - jeffthellamaking (09/03/2014) [-]
Apparently, you're gay.
[Tardiness Intensifies]
User avatar #36 - goobyman (08/11/2014) [-]
did you know that therealsuperderpy is ******* gay as hell?
User avatar #35 - NutHut ONLINE (08/10/2014) [-]
y r u so gay
#34 - syrianassassin (08/10/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #33 - peanutsaurusrex ONLINE (08/10/2014) [-]
ur gay
#32 - medewu ONLINE (08/09/2014) [-]
User avatar #31 - aczzoh (08/09/2014) [-]
u r gay
User avatar #30 - walcorn (08/09/2014) [-]
ur gay
User avatar #28 - Sunset (08/09/2014) [-]
you're gay
User avatar #27 - josa (08/09/2014) [-]
therealsuperderpy told me to say that you're gay.
[ 50 comments ]
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