Upload
Login or register

captainspankmonkey

Last status update:
-
Gender: male
Date Signed Up:4/08/2011
Location:Somewhere on Mars
Stats
Comment Ranking:#807
Highest Content Rank:#2435
Highest Comment Rank:#36
Content Thumbs: 1713 total,  2065 ,  352
Comment Thumbs: 26800 total,  27964 ,  1164
Content Level Progress: 74% (74/100)
Level 114 Content: Funny Junkie → Level 115 Content: Funny Junkie
Comment Level Progress: 35.8% (358/1000)
Level 323 Comments: Covered In Thumbs → Level 324 Comments: Covered In Thumbs
Subscribers:5
Content Views:72942
Times Content Favorited:76 times
Total Comments Made:11500
FJ Points:25671
Favorite Tags: The Game (2)
I lurk your profile.

latest user's comments

#7087 - Picture 10/25/2015 on captainspankmonkey's profile 0
#1 - Picture  [+] (4 replies) 10/25/2015 on white and proud +89
User avatar
#98 - jamesisawesome (10/26/2015) [-]
I've been seeing that picture for years, and somehow I still always chuckle when I see it.
This cool story has been brought to you by Bro Inc.
#2 - funkydiscomaggot (10/25/2015) [-]
god damn i love being half-human half-gem
User avatar
#3 - oxymoronking (10/25/2015) [-]
why did you post this
User avatar
#16 - funkydiscomaggot (10/25/2015) [-]
for pinkies
#7083 - **captainspankmonkey used "*roll 1, 1-999*"** **captainspan…  [+] (2 replies) 10/25/2015 on captainspankmonkey's profile 0
#7084 - funkydiscomaggot (10/25/2015) [-]
**funkydiscomaggot used "*roll 1, 0-999*"**
**funkydiscomaggot rolls 352** Well shiet
#7085 - captainspankmonkey (10/25/2015) [-]
**captainspankmonkey used "*roll 1, 1-999*"**
**captainspankmonkey rolls 963** Shit well.
#7081 - **captainspankmonkey used "*roll 1, 1-999*"** **captainspan…  [+] (4 replies) 10/25/2015 on captainspankmonkey's profile 0
#7082 - funkydiscomaggot (10/25/2015) [-]
**funkydiscomaggot used "*roll 1, 0-999*"**
**funkydiscomaggot rolls 235** It needs more normal
#7083 - captainspankmonkey (10/25/2015) [-]
**captainspankmonkey used "*roll 1, 1-999*"**
**captainspankmonkey rolls 071** Well that's just too bad.
#7084 - funkydiscomaggot (10/25/2015) [-]
**funkydiscomaggot used "*roll 1, 0-999*"**
**funkydiscomaggot rolls 352** Well shiet
#7085 - captainspankmonkey (10/25/2015) [-]
**captainspankmonkey used "*roll 1, 1-999*"**
**captainspankmonkey rolls 963** Shit well.
#7079 - A normal conversation.  [+] (6 replies) 10/25/2015 on captainspankmonkey's profile 0
#7080 - funkydiscomaggot (10/25/2015) [-]
**funkydiscomaggot used "*roll 1, 0-999*"**
**funkydiscomaggot rolls 954** I think we've passed that point of it being normal
#7081 - captainspankmonkey (10/25/2015) [-]
**captainspankmonkey used "*roll 1, 1-999*"**
**captainspankmonkey rolls 175** It all looks normal to me.
#7082 - funkydiscomaggot (10/25/2015) [-]
**funkydiscomaggot used "*roll 1, 0-999*"**
**funkydiscomaggot rolls 235** It needs more normal
#7083 - captainspankmonkey (10/25/2015) [-]
**captainspankmonkey used "*roll 1, 1-999*"**
**captainspankmonkey rolls 071** Well that's just too bad.
#7084 - funkydiscomaggot (10/25/2015) [-]
**funkydiscomaggot used "*roll 1, 0-999*"**
**funkydiscomaggot rolls 352** Well shiet
#7085 - captainspankmonkey (10/25/2015) [-]
**captainspankmonkey used "*roll 1, 1-999*"**
**captainspankmonkey rolls 963** Shit well.
#7077 - 1: "Most dads are boring AND christian, because they're o…  [+] (8 replies) 10/25/2015 on captainspankmonkey's profile 0
#7078 - funkydiscomaggot (10/25/2015) [-]
what are we even doing
#7079 - captainspankmonkey (10/25/2015) [-]
A normal conversation.
#7080 - funkydiscomaggot (10/25/2015) [-]
**funkydiscomaggot used "*roll 1, 0-999*"**
**funkydiscomaggot rolls 954** I think we've passed that point of it being normal
#7081 - captainspankmonkey (10/25/2015) [-]
**captainspankmonkey used "*roll 1, 1-999*"**
**captainspankmonkey rolls 175** It all looks normal to me.
#7082 - funkydiscomaggot (10/25/2015) [-]
**funkydiscomaggot used "*roll 1, 0-999*"**
**funkydiscomaggot rolls 235** It needs more normal
#7083 - captainspankmonkey (10/25/2015) [-]
**captainspankmonkey used "*roll 1, 1-999*"**
**captainspankmonkey rolls 071** Well that's just too bad.
#7084 - funkydiscomaggot (10/25/2015) [-]
**funkydiscomaggot used "*roll 1, 0-999*"**
**funkydiscomaggot rolls 352** Well shiet
#7085 - captainspankmonkey (10/25/2015) [-]
**captainspankmonkey used "*roll 1, 1-999*"**
**captainspankmonkey rolls 963** Shit well.
#7075 - 1: "Statements like these are lies, just like the lie of …  [+] (10 replies) 10/25/2015 on captainspankmonkey's profile 0
#7076 - funkydiscomaggot (10/25/2015) [-]
"It's only awkward if you have a boring dad or a Christian dad who is extremely politically correct. Also you posted a gif of the Mongols who bested the Russian hordes. It's like you're trying to prove yourself wrong. "

Most dads are boring AND christian, because they're old, at a point where they are so old (they have to be old enough so their son is old enough to comprehend what sex is) that they're old. Also the gif was obviously supposed to imply an exception for Russian hordes.

"Or too much spanking. "
Or both
#7077 - captainspankmonkey (10/25/2015) [-]
1: "Most dads are boring AND christian, because they're old, at a point where they are so old (they have to be old enough so their son is old enough to comprehend what sex is) that they're old. Also the gif was obviously supposed to imply an exception for Russian hordes."

That's only in the South and Utah, real States don't have fathers that are boring and Christian, like Oregon where fathers are high and buddhist/earth mother worshipping or Detroit where you have to go on a quest to find your father because you're Black and he's Black.

"Or both"
Intense butt spank message action.
#7078 - funkydiscomaggot (10/25/2015) [-]
what are we even doing
#7079 - captainspankmonkey (10/25/2015) [-]
A normal conversation.
#7080 - funkydiscomaggot (10/25/2015) [-]
**funkydiscomaggot used "*roll 1, 0-999*"**
**funkydiscomaggot rolls 954** I think we've passed that point of it being normal
#7081 - captainspankmonkey (10/25/2015) [-]
**captainspankmonkey used "*roll 1, 1-999*"**
**captainspankmonkey rolls 175** It all looks normal to me.
#7082 - funkydiscomaggot (10/25/2015) [-]
**funkydiscomaggot used "*roll 1, 0-999*"**
**funkydiscomaggot rolls 235** It needs more normal
#7083 - captainspankmonkey (10/25/2015) [-]
**captainspankmonkey used "*roll 1, 1-999*"**
**captainspankmonkey rolls 071** Well that's just too bad.
#7084 - funkydiscomaggot (10/25/2015) [-]
**funkydiscomaggot used "*roll 1, 0-999*"**
**funkydiscomaggot rolls 352** Well shiet
#7085 - captainspankmonkey (10/25/2015) [-]
**captainspankmonkey used "*roll 1, 1-999*"**
**captainspankmonkey rolls 963** Shit well.
#7073 - 1: Because telling the Alpha male of the house your sexual con…  [+] (12 replies) 10/25/2015 on captainspankmonkey's profile 0
#7074 - funkydiscomaggot (10/25/2015) [-]
"1: Because telling the Alpha male of the house your sexual conquest is like telling your liege about how you slaughtered the Russian horde. You get rewards and some titles. "

Statements like these are lies, just like the lie of telling his dad about sex. It's still awkward, sexual lies are awkward, and you should feel awkward. Nobody slaughters a Russian horde, not even Russian hordes

"2: That would mean the son was getting pegged (gf using a dildo) and that's not exactly common unless you're a male feminist. "

or very intense butt rubs
#7075 - captainspankmonkey (10/25/2015) [-]
1: "Statements like these are lies, just like the lie of telling his dad about sex. It's still awkward, sexual lies are awkward, and you should feel awkward. Nobody slaughters a Russian horde, not even Russian hordes "

It's only awkward if you have a boring dad or a Christian dad who is extremely politically correct. Also you posted a gif of the Mongols who bested the Russian hordes. It's like you're trying to prove yourself wrong.

2: "or very intense butt rubs"
Or too much spanking.
#7076 - funkydiscomaggot (10/25/2015) [-]
"It's only awkward if you have a boring dad or a Christian dad who is extremely politically correct. Also you posted a gif of the Mongols who bested the Russian hordes. It's like you're trying to prove yourself wrong. "

Most dads are boring AND christian, because they're old, at a point where they are so old (they have to be old enough so their son is old enough to comprehend what sex is) that they're old. Also the gif was obviously supposed to imply an exception for Russian hordes.

"Or too much spanking. "
Or both
#7077 - captainspankmonkey (10/25/2015) [-]
1: "Most dads are boring AND christian, because they're old, at a point where they are so old (they have to be old enough so their son is old enough to comprehend what sex is) that they're old. Also the gif was obviously supposed to imply an exception for Russian hordes."

That's only in the South and Utah, real States don't have fathers that are boring and Christian, like Oregon where fathers are high and buddhist/earth mother worshipping or Detroit where you have to go on a quest to find your father because you're Black and he's Black.

"Or both"
Intense butt spank message action.
#7078 - funkydiscomaggot (10/25/2015) [-]
what are we even doing
#7079 - captainspankmonkey (10/25/2015) [-]
A normal conversation.
#7080 - funkydiscomaggot (10/25/2015) [-]
**funkydiscomaggot used "*roll 1, 0-999*"**
**funkydiscomaggot rolls 954** I think we've passed that point of it being normal
#7081 - captainspankmonkey (10/25/2015) [-]
**captainspankmonkey used "*roll 1, 1-999*"**
**captainspankmonkey rolls 175** It all looks normal to me.
#7082 - funkydiscomaggot (10/25/2015) [-]
**funkydiscomaggot used "*roll 1, 0-999*"**
**funkydiscomaggot rolls 235** It needs more normal
#7083 - captainspankmonkey (10/25/2015) [-]
**captainspankmonkey used "*roll 1, 1-999*"**
**captainspankmonkey rolls 071** Well that's just too bad.
#7084 - funkydiscomaggot (10/25/2015) [-]
**funkydiscomaggot used "*roll 1, 0-999*"**
**funkydiscomaggot rolls 352** Well shiet
#7085 - captainspankmonkey (10/25/2015) [-]
**captainspankmonkey used "*roll 1, 1-999*"**
**captainspankmonkey rolls 963** Shit well.
#7071 - How r00d. 10/24/2015 on captainspankmonkey's profile 0