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cactaur

Last status update:
-
Personal Info
Gender: male
Steam Profile: eztarg3t
Consoles Owned: Xbox 360, PC, 3DS
Video Games Played: LoL, WoW, and other things
Date Signed Up:8/29/2012
Last Login:7/03/2015
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#856
Comment Ranking:#95
Highest Content Rank:#853
Highest Comment Rank:#64
Content Thumbs: 2638 total,  2920 ,  282
Comment Thumbs: 37222 total,  39794 ,  2572
Content Level Progress: 75% (75/100)
Level 119 Content: Funny Junkie → Level 120 Content: Respected Member Of Famiry
Comment Level Progress: 68.1% (681/1000)
Level 323 Comments: Covered In Thumbs → Level 324 Comments: Covered In Thumbs
Subscribers:12
Content Views:144769
Times Content Favorited:285 times
Total Comments Made:17350
FJ Points:25689
Favorite Tags: BrendanielReads (7) | soraka (6) | tags (6) | 4Chan (5) | lol (4) | league (2) | needs (2)

Funny Pictures

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    Thumbs Up 1914 Thumbs Down 87 Total: +1827
    Comments: 149
    Favorites: 180
    Uploaded: 05/10/15
    (untilted) (untilted)
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    Comments: 10
    Favorites: 14
    Uploaded: 03/10/15
    This movie This movie
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    Comments: 0
    Favorites: 2
    Uploaded: 11/04/12
    Pet rock Pet rock
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    Comments: 1
    Favorites: 3
    Uploaded: 04/12/15
    (untilted) (untilted)
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    Comments: 3
    Favorites: 1
    Uploaded: 06/30/15
    {untitled] {untitled]
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    Thumbs Up 5 Thumbs Down 3 Total: +2
    Comments: 3
    Favorites: 0
    Uploaded: 12/02/14
    Thanks Thanks

Funny Videos

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    Thumbs Up 244 Thumbs Down 34 Total: +210
    Comments: 23
    Favorites: 33
    Uploaded: 12/26/14
    4chan Story Time 4chan Story Time
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    Comments: 10
    Favorites: 6
    Uploaded: 05/19/15
    adorable adorable
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    Comments: 5
    Favorites: 5
    Uploaded: 12/27/14
    4chan story time 2 4chan story time 2
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    Comments: 2
    Favorites: 3
    Uploaded: 01/07/15
    4chan Story Time 7 4chan Story Time 7
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    Comments: 1
    Favorites: 1
    Uploaded: 12/31/14
    4chan story time 4 4chan story time 4
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    Comments: 4
    Favorites: 5
    Uploaded: 11/21/14
    (untitled) (untitled)
1 2 > [ 10 ]

Funny Gifs

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    Thumbs Up 40 Thumbs Down 3 Total: +37
    Comments: 7
    Favorites: 1
    Uploaded: 05/01/15
    Finals Finals

latest user's comments

#10735506 - OH, right.  [+] (2 new replies) 9 minutes ago on Autism Board +1
User avatar #10735510 - nelliel (1 second ago) [-]
*cuck
#10735507 - puffyclouds (8 minutes ago) [-]
have fun
#10735502 - don't ******** yourself, let me do that for you.  [+] (4 new replies) 11 minutes ago on Autism Board +1
User avatar #10735504 - puffyclouds (10 minutes ago) [-]
do you really have time for shittalking?
don't you have goats to fuck?
#10735506 - cactaur (9 minutes ago) [-]
OH, right.
User avatar #10735510 - nelliel (1 second ago) [-]
*cuck
#10735507 - puffyclouds (8 minutes ago) [-]
have fun
#10735499 - goat goat goat goat goat goat goat  [+] (6 new replies) 11 minutes ago on Autism Board +3
User avatar #10735501 - puffyclouds (11 minutes ago) [-]
more like gay
User avatar #10735502 - cactaur (11 minutes ago) [-]
don't shittalk yourself, let me do that for you.
User avatar #10735504 - puffyclouds (10 minutes ago) [-]
do you really have time for shittalking?
don't you have goats to fuck?
#10735506 - cactaur (9 minutes ago) [-]
OH, right.
User avatar #10735510 - nelliel (1 second ago) [-]
*cuck
#10735507 - puffyclouds (8 minutes ago) [-]
have fun
#10735404 - neither have I. But she's sitting on her knees. 1 hour ago on Autism Board +1
#10735397 - have you ever sat on your knees before?  [+] (2 new replies) 1 hour ago on Autism Board +1
User avatar #10735401 - delahk (1 hour ago) [-]
not inside a bush
User avatar #10735404 - cactaur (1 hour ago) [-]
neither have I. But she's sitting on her knees.
#10735390 - no...how did you even come to that?  [+] (4 new replies) 1 hour ago on Autism Board +2
User avatar #10735392 - delahk (1 hour ago) [-]
she is squating in the bushes
User avatar #10735397 - cactaur (1 hour ago) [-]
have you ever sat on your knees before?
User avatar #10735401 - delahk (1 hour ago) [-]
not inside a bush
User avatar #10735404 - cactaur (1 hour ago) [-]
neither have I. But she's sitting on her knees.
#10735355 - I bet there is some law out there that would screw you over. … 2 hours ago on Autism Board +2
#10735353 - Sorry, I'll make sure to spam more often now. I should not let…  [+] (1 new reply) 2 hours ago on Autism Board +2
#10735356 - puffyclouds (2 hours ago) [-]
tfw
#10735345 - playing so much d3 I dont' have anytime to spam goat.  [+] (10 new replies) 2 hours ago on Autism Board +4
User avatar #10735378 - delahk (1 hour ago) [-]
is she taking a shit?
#10735390 - cactaur (1 hour ago) [-]
no...how did you even come to that?

User avatar #10735392 - delahk (1 hour ago) [-]
she is squating in the bushes
User avatar #10735397 - cactaur (1 hour ago) [-]
have you ever sat on your knees before?
User avatar #10735401 - delahk (1 hour ago) [-]
not inside a bush
User avatar #10735404 - cactaur (1 hour ago) [-]
neither have I. But she's sitting on her knees.
User avatar #10735374 - cuzsunny (1 hour ago) [-]
Because you have forsaken us
#10735349 - puffyclouds (2 hours ago) [-]
good
#10735353 - cactaur (2 hours ago) [-]
Sorry, I'll make sure to spam more often now. I should not let you guys go without your daily goat.
#10735356 - puffyclouds (2 hours ago) [-]
tfw
#10735343 - >calling me a weeb  [+] (1 new reply) 2 hours ago on Autism Board +1
User avatar #10735352 - newtamalego (2 hours ago) [-]
well maybe not weeb

how about goat fucker?

items

Total unique items point value: 36760 / Total items point value: 37261

Comments(830):

[ 830 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#761 - neppy (06/08/2015) [+] (1 reply)
stickied by cactaur
this is my cactaur   
I love and protect my cactaur   
with me, my cactaur is nothing   
without my cactaur, I am nothing   
I swear to diligently love my cactaur
this is my cactaur
I love and protect my cactaur
with me, my cactaur is nothing
without my cactaur, I am nothing
I swear to diligently love my cactaur
#557 - cactaur ONLINE (03/28/2015) [+] (15 replies)
stickied by cactaur
www.dropbox.com/sh/6avj9cvs3yjcpvf/AADM-xt6P6-v67AVw0kZNUC4a?dl=0
A nice large pile of spacegoat porn for your fapping needs.
User avatar #828 - nelliel ONLINE (06/19/2015) [-]
one of these days it will happen
and when it does i am writing a damn eulogy of how hard i rode that healers ass
User avatar #811 - dndxplain ONLINE (06/19/2015) [-]
how are your fridays?
User avatar #829 to #811 - nelliel ONLINE (06/19/2015) [-]
i do his ass on fridays, he's lying
User avatar #830 to #829 - dndxplain ONLINE (06/19/2015) [-]
it's too late. I own his butt on fridays now.

I have a contract in writing
User avatar #831 to #830 - nelliel ONLINE (06/19/2015) [-]
ill swaddle that cute little printing paper you paid extra for and make paper mache out of cactuars ass
User avatar #832 to #831 - dndxplain ONLINE (06/19/2015) [-]
multiple copies, bitch
User avatar #833 to #832 - nelliel ONLINE (06/19/2015) [-]
good, i wanted to practice my cock origami
i want to see how fast i can make swans inside cocktaurs soft mouth
User avatar #834 to #833 - dndxplain ONLINE (06/19/2015) [-]
jesus christ man
User avatar #835 to #834 - nelliel ONLINE (06/20/2015) [-]
i am a ******* artist
i won't stop til i die in a gutter like poe
User avatar #812 to #811 - cactaur ONLINE (06/19/2015) [-]
I usually don't do anything on Fridays.
User avatar #813 to #812 - dndxplain ONLINE (06/19/2015) [-]
at nine PM my time. it's 8:35 pm right now
User avatar #814 to #813 - cactaur ONLINE (06/19/2015) [-]
Hey, same time zone.
User avatar #815 to #814 - dndxplain ONLINE (06/19/2015) [-]
my pathfinder group needs a healer
User avatar #816 to #815 - cactaur ONLINE (06/19/2015) [-]
I'm game.
User avatar #817 to #816 - dndxplain ONLINE (06/19/2015) [-]
gibbe de skype b0ss
User avatar #818 to #817 - cactaur ONLINE (06/19/2015) [-]
At work right now
User avatar #819 to #818 - dndxplain ONLINE (06/19/2015) [-]
aight. let me know when you're free
User avatar #820 to #819 - cactaur ONLINE (06/19/2015) [-]
Still new to skype. What information do I need to give?
User avatar #821 to #820 - dndxplain ONLINE (06/19/2015) [-]
your sign in name so I can add you
User avatar #822 to #821 - cactaur ONLINE (06/19/2015) [-]
movin_targ3t
User avatar #823 to #822 - dndxplain ONLINE (06/19/2015) [-]
sent
User avatar #824 to #823 - cactaur ONLINE (06/19/2015) [-]
Not receiving anything. Send me yours?
User avatar #825 to #824 - dndxplain ONLINE (06/19/2015) [-]
order of lycaon. _ in the spaces, no period
User avatar #826 to #825 - cactaur ONLINE (06/19/2015) [-]
At college right now, should be back around 10 or so then we can finish my character sheet.
User avatar #827 to #826 - dndxplain ONLINE (06/19/2015) [-]
alrighty
#806 - raeptiemx (06/18/2015) [-]
you didn't come by my place....I'm very dissapoint
#807 to #806 - cactaur ONLINE (06/18/2015) [-]
I'm not the one that was supposed to be ridden anyways.
User avatar #808 to #807 - raeptiemx (06/18/2015) [-]
soo..no sex
friendzoned again
#809 to #808 - cactaur ONLINE (06/18/2015) [-]
no sex

only piggy back rides.
User avatar #804 - dndxplain ONLINE (06/18/2015) [-]
goatpussy
User avatar #803 - nelliel ONLINE (06/16/2015) [-]
i need your nudes
User avatar #787 - falanvaul (06/12/2015) [-]
Heya. Long time no speak, yo.

Soraka has a big horse dong. :U
User avatar #789 to #788 - falanvaul (06/12/2015) [-]
Love you too~!

But how goes it?

I got a new PC so no pictures for me to use.
User avatar #790 to #789 - cactaur ONLINE (06/12/2015) [-]
alright, i suppose. Got a new commission from artist but I don't want to show it yet because I also want to do a follow up for it as well.
User avatar #791 to #790 - falanvaul (06/12/2015) [-]
Oh yeah? Is it porn or sfw?
User avatar #792 to #791 - cactaur ONLINE (06/12/2015) [-]
porn, most definitely porn.

Actually, the artist already published the first image. www.funnyjunk.com/nsfw/aljbLny/Lol/

It's the first soraka picture. There is also a cum version but I'll save that once the follow up is made.
User avatar #793 to #792 - falanvaul (06/12/2015) [-]
Damn dude, you really like Soraka.

I need to get someone to do my own little **** for my stream stuff but its so hard to find someone who's art I like that doesn't only do porn.
User avatar #796 to #793 - cactaur ONLINE (06/12/2015) [-]
**** forgot to add that Yeah, I do like Soraka quite a bit. I also know there are people out there that like her without a raging horse cock so I kinda do this for them as well as for myself.
User avatar #797 to #796 - falanvaul (06/12/2015) [-]
I like her both ways, perks of being the way I am.

It doesn't HAVE to be a horse cock.. :c
#799 to #797 - cactaur ONLINE (06/12/2015) [-]
I honestly can't stand it. I've tried to fap to it but I want Soraka to be the ultimate form of a submissive, closet slut, bondage loving, satyr **** goat, cum hungry, jizz dumpster and her having a giant horse cock kinda takes that away a bit.
User avatar #805 to #799 - dndxplain ONLINE (06/18/2015) [-]
this
User avatar #800 to #799 - falanvaul (06/12/2015) [-]
I can understand that entirely. You have a very deep fantasy it seems, I don't think I've even gone that deep with something.
#801 to #800 - cactaur ONLINE (06/12/2015) [-]
It's just something about her innocent that I want to completely corrupt her into some closet slut.

I do have this little shipping in my head between her and Karma. Karma is the dominant who loves sexually torturing Soraka to no end and Soraka loves every second of it ever since she discovered the carnal pleasure of the mortal flesh. But after all the bondage gear is put away and their fantasies are satisfied they would snuggle in bed. It's kinda like 50 Shades of gray but an actual relationship built on similar interests instead of rape with some rich dude.
User avatar #802 to #801 - falanvaul (06/12/2015) [-]
Also understandable.

50 Shades of Gray pissed me off to no end. I've never read the book but someone explained it pretty much how you said it. It's annoying.
User avatar #794 to #793 - cactaur ONLINE (06/12/2015) [-]


I also have another commission in the works but the artist seems to have gone AFK. At least I got a pretty good sketch and I didn't pay for it. Still waiting for him to pop back up and see if he's made any progress. This happened before, he told me he lives in Ukraine and they've had the occasional practice emergency shutdowns.
User avatar #795 to #794 - falanvaul (06/12/2015) [-]
Understandable. How much do you normally pay for these?
User avatar #798 to #795 - cactaur ONLINE (06/12/2015) [-]
It really varies between artists. The first one I ever commissioned costed me $175. The one I posted only costed me $37 and the follow up is going to cost $60 (X-rays and panels). I also got a sexy pin-up for Soraka which costed $25 with an additional $10 for the SFW version. Finally my other commission I was talking about is going to cost $80.


The best thing you should do is constantly search for artists and prices. I've also noticed that sometimes they like to update commission prices seasonally.

If you want to commission porn be careful about what you want. My first commission ended up costing quite a bit because it was $100 per character from the artist and i wasn't aware of that. Was able to knock down the price by cutting off some of the character to save money. Look though other pieces of porn to find something you like so you can help the artists with visual aids and try to be as descriptive as possible, the more the better.
User avatar #780 - professormeatwad (06/11/2015) [-]
Third ******* time you said you'd let me ride you but here I am, still haven't gotten a single ride
#781 to #780 - cactaur ONLINE (06/11/2015) [-]
I still believe your first time was false and I have given you a ride the previous time.
User avatar #783 to #781 - professormeatwad (06/11/2015) [-]
And pull your horn thing
#784 to #783 - cactaur ONLINE (06/11/2015) [-]
Can't blame you, who wouldn't want to ride soraka?
#786 to #785 - cactaur ONLINE (06/11/2015) [-]
Its the exact amount of lewd.
User avatar #782 to #781 - professormeatwad (06/11/2015) [-]
WELL I DON'T REMEMBER ALL I KNOW IS I WANNA RIDE YOU HARD
User avatar #763 to #762 - cactaur ONLINE (06/10/2015) [-]
interesting...thingy ya got there.
User avatar #764 to #763 - dndxplain ONLINE (06/10/2015) [-]
it took me four hours.

when I generated the to-build guide, it had 87 steps
#765 to #764 - cactaur ONLINE (06/10/2015) [-]
Ah, ok.
User avatar #766 to #765 - dndxplain ONLINE (06/10/2015) [-]
are you not familiar with bionicle?
User avatar #767 to #766 - cactaur ONLINE (06/10/2015) [-]
yep
User avatar #768 to #767 - dndxplain ONLINE (06/10/2015) [-]
... you whore
#769 to #768 - cactaur ONLINE (06/10/2015) [-]
so long as I'm a whore for satyrs IDGAF
#770 to #769 - dndxplain ONLINE (06/10/2015) [-]
nah, minotaurs.
User avatar #772 to #771 - dndxplain ONLINE (06/10/2015) [-]
User avatar #773 to #772 - cactaur ONLINE (06/10/2015) [-]
Hey, I've been thinking about those tabletop games you were talking about. I may want to give that a whirl again but I'm not entirely sure if I'm capable.
User avatar #774 to #773 - dndxplain ONLINE (06/10/2015) [-]
I am thinking about setting up a fallout tabletop game in honor of fallout 4 being announced.
User avatar #775 to #774 - cactaur ONLINE (06/10/2015) [-]
fallout, eh? I might be up for that. It's been a long time since I last played, like 6 years I think.
User avatar #776 to #775 - dndxplain ONLINE (06/10/2015) [-]
it's gonna be first come first serve
User avatar #777 to #776 - cactaur ONLINE (06/10/2015) [-]
first come, first serve eh? What's the starting date and what do I need?
User avatar #778 to #777 - dndxplain ONLINE (06/10/2015) [-]
the thing is that I don't know. I only have an inkling of a story. might not even be a major story... hm...
User avatar #779 to #778 - cactaur ONLINE (06/10/2015) [-]
Ah, alright. Hit me up when you got something together. Just hit me up a bit earlier, I may need a little hand to get some things together.
#757 - keltainenlumi (06/07/2015) [-]
You got these 2?
#759 to #758 - cactaur ONLINE (06/07/2015) [-]
Not this one, thanks.
User avatar #760 to #759 - keltainenlumi (06/07/2015) [-]
ur welcum
#756 - medewu ONLINE (06/06/2015) [-]
User avatar #753 - neppy (06/04/2015) [-]
you are mine
my cactus
User avatar #749 - neppy (06/03/2015) [-]
GOAT BAE
#747 - murphyslawtesties (06/02/2015) [-]
I will explore you when you least expect it
#742 - neppy (06/02/2015) [-]
goat pussy
goat pussy
#743 to #742 - cactaur ONLINE (06/02/2015) [-]
how lewd
#744 to #743 - neppy (06/02/2015) [-]
I'm going to 			****		 it
I'm going to **** it
#745 to #744 - cactaur ONLINE (06/02/2015) [-]
Don't be gentle. She likes it rough.
#746 to #745 - neppy (06/02/2015) [-]
8 inches   
anal   
no lube   
lots of hair pulling   
   
lets do this
8 inches
anal
no lube
lots of hair pulling

lets do this
#734 to #733 - cactaur ONLINE (06/02/2015) [-]
you and I both know that ain't a true.
#735 to #734 - adunsaveme (06/02/2015) [-]
You're old news, hon
#737 to #736 - adunsaveme (06/02/2015) [-]
Nobody even makes good Soraka porn anymore. You're oldschool cheese.
User avatar #738 to #737 - cactaur ONLINE (06/02/2015) [-]
give me some time, I've been working on a second commission. I'm not made out of money.
#739 to #738 - adunsaveme (06/02/2015) [-]
I bet it'll be trash
#740 to #739 - cactaur ONLINE (06/02/2015) [-]
You'll fap to it, regardless.
User avatar #731 - meringueluka ONLINE (06/02/2015) [-]
https://youtube.com/devicesupport
merry god dam ******* Christmas ya goat!
#732 to #731 - cactaur ONLINE (06/02/2015) [-]
holy **** , someone made a song for Soraka. Not my kind of song but it's still pretty good, regardless. Thank you.
User avatar #725 - neppy (06/01/2015) [-]
are you mine
User avatar #726 to #725 - cactaur ONLINE (06/01/2015) [-]
>>412,
User avatar #727 to #726 - neppy (06/01/2015) [-]
oki just making sure

love you ♥
User avatar #723 - avocadomessiah ONLINE (05/31/2015) [-]
not enough porn here

sorry kid you're gay B^)
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