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auesis

Last status update:
-
Personal Info
Gender: male
Age: 28
Facebook Profile: http://www.facebook.com/Auesis
Steam Profile: Auesis
Consoles Owned: PS3, PC
Video Games Played: L4D, NWN, GW, BF, GTA, TES, Fallout, Vindictus
X-box Gamertag: Auesis (Games for Microsoft)
PSN: Kixcon
Interests: Bass guitar, video games, metal
Date Signed Up:3/23/2011
Last Login:7/05/2015
Location:Wales
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#5310
Comment Ranking:#7497
Highest Content Rank:#5329
Highest Comment Rank:#31
Content Thumbs: 697 total,  1157 ,  460
Comment Thumbs: 51567 total,  55856 ,  4289
Content Level Progress: 20% (2/10)
Level 68 Content: FJ Cultist → Level 69 Content: FJ Cultist
Comment Level Progress: 43.3% (433/1000)
Level 350 Comments: Knight Of Funnyjunk → Level 351 Comments: Knight Of Funnyjunk
Subscribers:4
Content Views:72906
Times Content Favorited:97 times
Total Comments Made:7282
FJ Points:4472
Favorite Tags: oh (2) | the (2)
Bass. Games. Procrastination. Such is life.

latest user's comments

#38 - Played it at launch - it felt like **** . The combat was…  [+] (3 new replies) 03/19/2015 on Elder Scrolls Online +1
#42 - capps (03/19/2015) [-]
Hehe I'm still at patching mode. I know they added collision on NPC's so it doesn't just feel like you're hitting thin air at least.
#43 - John Cena (03/19/2015) [-]
So you ran straight trough the NPC's? Ughh, that's the worst
#44 - capps (03/19/2015) [-]
Yeah glad they changed it
#29 - Something about this face makes me laugh every time. Give it y… 03/18/2015 on Hehehe... 'doodles' 0
#74 - Picture 03/16/2015 on Extra wet +8
#72 - I didn't really know how else to describe it, but someone else…  [+] (7 new replies) 03/16/2015 on Extra wet +2
User avatar #75 - zeroqp (03/16/2015) [-]
I see.
User avatar #73 - frenulum (03/16/2015) [-]
LEAVE ME ALOOOOOONE
#141 - milkyhammer (03/16/2015) [-]
**milkyhammer used "*roll 1, 0-99*"**
**milkyhammer rolls 30**
User avatar #142 - frenulum (03/16/2015) [-]
**frenulum used "*roll 1, 0-999*"**
**frenulum rolls 305** failure
#143 - milkyhammer (03/16/2015) [-]
**milkyhammer used "*roll 3, 0-99*"**
**milkyhammer rolls 86**
**milkyhammer rolls 42**
**milkyhammer rolls 27**
#144 - milkyhammer (03/16/2015) [-]
**milkyhammer used "*roll 1, 0-99*"**
**milkyhammer rolls 45**
#74 - auesis (03/16/2015) [-]
#17 - Something like this happened to a friend, but 10x worse. …  [+] (55 new replies) 03/15/2015 on Extra wet +483
#139 - jcjohnson (03/16/2015) [-]
Good god
#134 - shittingmangos (03/16/2015) [-]
#132 - Carthusia (03/16/2015) [-]
Hfw
#129 - marconde (03/16/2015) [-]
HOLY SHIT THE CRINGE
#124 - borderlineparanoid (03/16/2015) [-]
#120 - saltyfries (03/16/2015) [-]
User avatar #115 - commoncrunch (03/16/2015) [-]
Hail to the king, thank goodness I'm listening to Avenged Sevenfold, or else I'd have to log out and go shit around in Garry's Mod just to get my mind away from the image of a dick spurting blood like a disconnected transmission fluid supply line.
#111 - sailorarctic (03/16/2015) [-]
#108 - themilkisdead (03/16/2015) [-]
#105 - omegez (03/16/2015) [-]
All 300+ people who read this dicks have shriveled and are now quivering in fear
#102 - predictablepeter (03/16/2015) [-]
#101 - umjamlam (03/16/2015) [-]
#100 - umjamlam has deleted their comment.
#94 - knurl (03/16/2015) [-]
Sweet Jesus, how do you not notice that immediately? Wouldn't it hurt like fuck? Wouldn't he get cold from the blood loss? Wouldn't he notice his insta-limp dick? The fact that this went unnoticed for any amount of time is giving me breathing problems.
#93 - sociocat has deleted their comment.
#85 - pwnfrnzy (03/16/2015) [-]
This is a whole new level of hell.
User avatar #84 - volcanicdiarrhea (03/16/2015) [-]
Great. Now my dick is fucking terrified and won't stop shaking.
#83 - Gonnafly (03/16/2015) [-]
#82 - moistnuggests (03/16/2015) [-]
I did something similar to myself on accident, except instead of nails cutting, I just pulled a little or a lot too hard and it snapped.

And no the skin doesn't reconnect and the hole doesn't heal over
User avatar #140 - relvel (03/16/2015) [-]
OW OW OW OW OW OW OW
#80 - moldybreadcrumb (03/16/2015) [-]
#78 - dryp (03/16/2015) [-]
#76 - ykaliber (03/16/2015) [-]
"He was completely limp and if his body tried to get erect the blood would just pour out on to the floor."

This is horror porn material
User avatar #70 - loonquawl (03/15/2015) [-]
Well... My first "oh god I didn't want to know that" cringe of the day.
Oh god, I'm still doing it. The mental images alone...
They won't stop.
I have to go find a pallet cleanser.
#69 - John Cena (03/15/2015) [-]
WHAT THE FUCK
#68 - redbannerman (03/15/2015) [-]
Sweet Christ... What does that lady do? Glue knives to her fingers and call them nails?
#67 - furiousmarshmellow (03/15/2015) [-]
no
User avatar #65 - zeroqp (03/15/2015) [-]
"the fleshy bit" of the dick? What part of the dick is not fleshy?
User avatar #72 - auesis (03/16/2015) [-]
I didn't really know how else to describe it, but someone else gave the right word (frenulum)
User avatar #75 - zeroqp (03/16/2015) [-]
I see.
User avatar #73 - frenulum (03/16/2015) [-]
LEAVE ME ALOOOOOONE
#141 - milkyhammer (03/16/2015) [-]
**milkyhammer used "*roll 1, 0-99*"**
**milkyhammer rolls 30**
User avatar #142 - frenulum (03/16/2015) [-]
**frenulum used "*roll 1, 0-999*"**
**frenulum rolls 305** failure
#143 - milkyhammer (03/16/2015) [-]
**milkyhammer used "*roll 3, 0-99*"**
**milkyhammer rolls 86**
**milkyhammer rolls 42**
**milkyhammer rolls 27**
#144 - milkyhammer (03/16/2015) [-]
**milkyhammer used "*roll 1, 0-99*"**
**milkyhammer rolls 45**
#74 - auesis (03/16/2015) [-]
#62 - ztron (03/15/2015) [-]
#54 - hawaiianman (03/15/2015) [-]
#52 - AnthonyHelmsley (03/15/2015) [-]
#50 - bumpin (03/15/2015) [-]
jesus...
#43 - chozodark (03/15/2015) [-]
well... that pretty much did it for me
#42 - muffindemon (03/15/2015) [-]
MFW
#89 - John Cena (03/16/2015) [-]
Which jontron vid is that from?
User avatar #114 - commoncrunch (03/16/2015) [-]
Hercules games.
User avatar #97 - oceanfrank (03/16/2015) [-]
japanese shooters
#40 - greyhoundfd (03/15/2015) [-]
There aren't even enough characters for me to "hnnnng" enough.
User avatar #39 - xtremehivoltage (03/15/2015) [-]
Jesus christ

Is caked the frenulum and is where 90% of the ducked nerves are
#37 - redeadhunter (03/15/2015) [-]
Okay, logging out now. Dick blood is where I draw the line.
#35 - dragginbref (03/15/2015) [-]
#34 - kameken (03/15/2015) [-]
#29 - John Cena (03/15/2015) [-]
#28 - John Cena (03/15/2015) [-]
This happened with me and an ex-boyfriend. It wasn't so bad he had to go to the hospital but he bled enough inside me that I had to wear a tampon afterwards to not make a mess.
User avatar #64 - zeroqp (03/15/2015) [-]
I would never bleed inside you, baby.
#25 - thegentleluger (03/15/2015) [-]
#23 - kingdaniel (03/15/2015) [-]
What the fffffffuck?
#48 - No it's totally true, games are just a straight white dudes' c… 03/10/2015 on Based mom defends gamers... +17
#37 - 5'4 manlet  [+] (2 new replies) 03/09/2015 on Double Standards 0
User avatar #79 - heartlessrobot (03/09/2015) [-]
5'5"
#76 - haseotakaeda (03/09/2015) [-]
Same here brother
#136 - Yes 03/09/2015 on I DRAW REALLY GOOD! +3
#16 - 10/10 would get crushed to death by  [+] (3 new replies) 03/08/2015 on I DRAW REALLY GOOD! +16
User avatar #109 - djkrabs (03/09/2015) [-]
is that Eir?
#136 - auesis (03/09/2015) [-]
Yes
#116 - John Cena (03/09/2015) [-]
That was what I thought too.
#71 - Where, how? I need it, whatever it is  [+] (1 new reply) 03/05/2015 on Fruit 0
User avatar #86 - VincentKing (03/05/2015) [-]
not sure where, but the z-soul works when your health gets below 50%
#261 - Managed it a few days ago. My advice is (and this works for pr… 03/05/2015 on Expand level over 9000 +1
#51 - Xenoverse is so ******* good, but Jesus Christ can they…  [+] (4 new replies) 03/05/2015 on Fruit 0
#68 - John Cena (03/05/2015) [-]
Wait till you get to the Bardock mission, have fun with that shit
User avatar #57 - VincentKing (03/05/2015) [-]
I won it because of the elder guru z-soul constantly healing me
User avatar #71 - auesis (03/05/2015) [-]
Where, how? I need it, whatever it is
User avatar #86 - VincentKing (03/05/2015) [-]
not sure where, but the z-soul works when your health gets below 50%
#12 - Here's the full thing 03/05/2015 on desc. +1
#241 - It's kinda useless until you hit high levels and you have tons… 03/05/2015 on Expand level over 9000 +1
#168 - It takes advantage of two things: 1) The time it take… 03/04/2015 on DnD +2
#20 - I don't remember the version of DnD, but there was a technical…  [+] (5 new replies) 03/03/2015 on DnD +63
#159 - thetarget (03/04/2015) [-]
How can you have a physics glitch in a tabletop game? Do you keep track of the acceleration while passing the object?
User avatar #168 - auesis (03/04/2015) [-]
It takes advantage of two things:

1) The time it takes to complete a single "round" (6 seconds)
2) A GM that doesn't give a fuck

If you bring together hundreds or thousands of NPCs and have them all participate, taking a turn in the round, you can theoretically have it so that an object is passed between them all in a window of 6 seconds. Miles upon miles upon miles traveled in that short space of time turns your projectile in to a meteorite.

There are ways for a GM to refuse this to happen, for example, just plain common sense in that this couldn't happen in 6 seconds (that's why you need a flexible GM that doesn't really care and is in it for fun). If they also knew anything about physics, they would know that the friction and speed generated by the object would cause at least one peasant down the line to miss it, drop it or get vaporised by the force of it, and the object itself would probably get ripped to shreds from the heat generated.
#89 - John Cena (03/04/2015) [-]
User avatar #30 - IceIfritSIXSIXSIX (03/04/2015) [-]
That's the peasant railgun from 3.5.
The standard is two miles of peasants. The guy at the back has a spear and the one at the front readies an action to throw spear. Everyone else passes the spear from the back to front. Of course applying real world physics this spear travels two miles in six seconds(one round) which would obliterate anything at that speed.
User avatar #27 - miia (03/04/2015) [-]
youtu.be/YBC1Qob27sM?t=1m17s
For your consideration:
The Meat Rail
#30 - I wouldn't worry too much about that, there's a disproportiona…  [+] (1 new reply) 03/03/2015 on dirty anus prequel 0
User avatar #66 - compared (03/04/2015) [-]
Thanks for using a comparison, hope you are well.
#72 - SSD with 200+ mods and still have this 1st-world problem. … 02/28/2015 on PC Gamer Problems 0
#70 - Eh, I've jampacked my Skyrim with hundreds of mods including 4…  [+] (1 new reply) 02/28/2015 on PC Gamer Problems 0
User avatar #74 - thepinkestofthepie (02/28/2015) [-]
I only have Windows on my SSD, and while windows 7 seemed to load in seconds, windows 8 takes a load of time to load for some reason
#74 - The paintball range we went to had some great punishments, dep… 02/27/2015 on Looks Fun 0
#91 - Picture 02/27/2015 on Tags 0
#10 - "Tewwww sexeee fur my clothez" 02/27/2015 on Brotherhood of steel are... 0
#391 - **auesis used "*roll 1, 0-999999999*"** **auesis rolls 215,… 02/26/2015 on Free Games +1
#390 - Comment deleted 02/26/2015 on Free Games 0
#120 - They waited a few years before removing it. It's quite insigni…  [+] (1 new reply) 02/25/2015 on Let your freak-flag fly! 0
User avatar #132 - miknab (02/26/2015) [-]
Thats still pretty cool. Idk if you ever heard of the movie. Not a big fan of it, but in Gattica a man has six fingers and is the only one able to play a certain piece of music on a piano because of his extra digit.

items

Total unique items point value: 1050 / Total items point value: 1050

Comments(93):

auesis has disabled anonymous comments.
[ 93 comments ]
#94 - fdemcavs (11/07/2012) [-]
what is the source to the girl jiggling her ass? please man
User avatar #95 to #94 - auesis (11/07/2012) [-]
No clue, sorry. It was just in my **** folder.
#92 - legitturtle **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#93 to #92 - auesis (08/07/2012) [-]
Thank you!
User avatar #90 - infiniteduress (07/20/2012) [-]
saw your comment about harley, thought you might enjoy these if you haven't seen them

4.bp.blogspot.com/-2mzJumilIoU/T6lAT3pEDoI/AAAAAAAAA8Y/LxJZkjort6g/s1600/59_Harley_Quinn.jpg

You need to login to view this link
#89 - atma (06/24/2012) [-]
Well now you just go ahead and have a wonderful day.
#88 - BluFlynn (06/24/2012) [-]
Have a nice day!
Have a nice day!
User avatar #86 - hamzaisanigger (06/24/2012) [-]
Have a great day man.
#83 - holyturkey (06/24/2012) [-]
have a great day , i hope its fun
#82 - locke (06/24/2012) [-]
DUDE, i just want to let you know that i hope you have a great day.
#81 - pedochuu **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #80 - larska (06/24/2012) [-]
have a faptastic day my friend!
#79 - mermoona (06/24/2012) [-]
Have a nice day!
User avatar #78 - jakedefense (06/24/2012) [-]
We all love and support you, have a good day.
User avatar #77 - snuffff (06/24/2012) [-]
Have a good day my friend!
User avatar #76 - toasthemost ONLINE (06/24/2012) [-]
have a nice day
User avatar #75 - alexthepro (06/24/2012) [-]
Have an amazing day :)
#74 - orangecrowbarman (06/24/2012) [-]
Have a great day!
User avatar #72 - trollerxx (06/24/2012) [-]
I hope you have a nice day
User avatar #71 - wargeneralwest (06/24/2012) [-]
Have A Nice Day
#70 - iibzducky (06/24/2012) [-]
Have a nice day.
[ 93 comments ]
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