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Rank #3705 on CommentsLevel 252 Comments: Contaminated Win
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|Last status update:|| |
|Date Signed Up:||9/23/2010|
|Funnyjunk Career Stats|
|Highest Content Rank:||#11139|
|Highest Comment Rank:||#1816|
|Content Thumbs:||12 total, 54 , 42|
|Comment Thumbs:||6134 total, 6855 , 721|
|Content Level Progress:|| 30.5% (18/59) |
Level 0 Content: Untouched account → Level 1 Content: New Here
|Comment Level Progress:|| 84% (84/100) |
Level 252 Comments: Contaminated Win → Level 253 Comments: Contaminated Win
|Times Content Favorited:||1 times|
|Total Comments Made:||2041|
|Favorite Tags:||thread (2)|
- Views: 1302FJ thread at it's best
17 7 Total: +10
- Views: 1388My favourite
15 5 Total: +10
- Views: 963Nailed it!
2 0 Total: +2
- Views: 911Perfect shirt for...
5 6 Total: -1
- Views: 1164But they're so cute!
4 6 Total: -2
latest user's comments
|#43 - Jesus ******* Chist.||15 hours ago on Lion, Tigers & Bears||+4|
|#34 - I don't want to click it but now I'm really curious what it is… [+] (10 new replies)||18 hours ago on Lion, Tigers & Bears||+4|
#38 - assrocket (17 hours ago) [-]
Probably the reason two once young, enthusiastic, loving parents have spent the past 20-30 years crying themselves to sleep. Oh God, they had so much promise. George had just gotten a new job. Martha was keeping their new apartment nice and tidy, preparing for the little bundle of joy. They were so excited to be brand-new parents. They thought they were ready. They wanted to be ready.
But it quickly became apparent that something was wrong.
Well... not wrong. After all, their baby was the most precious thing in the entire world. They worked so hard to give him the best life possible. He's always been so... well. Special?
He was theirs. And they loved him.
And that's what matters, isn't it?
George blamed the Sonic games. Martha blamed the Korean cartoon books. Truthfully, I don't think either of them knew where it started. It all happened so fast. First it was those 'pokeymans'. Then it was that show with the noisy ninja in the orange pyjamas. (At least he started running more at that time. With his hands way behind his back. George had always wanted him to take up football. He was just happy to see his dear boy running about.) They thought their son's interest in other cultures was a good thing at first, but when they couldn't understand half the words he said anymore, it put a strain on their relationship with the boy. They just didn't understand those Asian languages.
What is "kawaii"?
What does "hentai" mean?
With the loss of communication with their son and the recent need for George to work longer hours in order to pay for new video games, Martha began to feel like the family was falling apart. She stopped trying to urge the boy out of his room for dinner, instead letting him eat in his room, where he was most comfortable with his animu and mangos. George wasn't home until very late most nights so she ate alone. She stopped wearing her lipsticks. Her hair went unwashed for weeks. And George started to lose interest in her.
When she caught him with a prostitute, Martha holed herself up in her room to cry. George slept out at a mate's house, drinking himself into a stupor most nights. The boy barely noticed the crying through the walls. He turned his dating sim music up louder to cover any strange noises. But the boy grew hungry. He knocked on his parent's door, asking for chicken nuggies. It was motherly duty that finally brought his mother out. And she bought him all the chicken nuggies he could eat.
The divorce papers were signed within the week. George moved out and removed himself from the boy and Martha to build a new life on his own.
To compensate for the lack of a father, Martha tended to her boy's every whim. Chicken nuggies, MLP figurines, the occasional plush toy 'hand puppet', and Yu-gi-oh cards galore. However, due to the high cost of maintaining a child with such 'diverse interests', Martha had to take up two different jobs.
The housework was too much at that time, so she allocated 'good boy points' to her son when he helped out. But 5 months into this routine, and she grew tired of it.
Washing those strange stains out of his pony toys became a strain.
That damn fox costume he wore all the time made it hard for her to invite friends around.
But the worst was those fucking pictures he drew. They disgusted her. He posted them on a site he called 'le funnyjunk'. They always had the same theme: furry baby animals with diapers leaking with piss and shit, with a strange homoerotic undertone that frankly permeated her boy's entire being at this point in his life.
And it made her cry at night and wonder: Where did I go wrong?
#111 - thinemother (10 hours ago) [-]
but 9/10 good read tho
#140 - funpunk (8 hours ago) [-]
But not by stuff like unplugging the tv before they can save, that shit is evil.
#145 - thinemother (7 hours ago) [-]
I think the most important thing, even though it sounds fucking stupid, is for a kid to find best friends with different interests of their own. I mean if I had buddies that just talked about games all the time with no change of subject, i'd be pretty sub par socially and wouldn't get anywhere. But I suppose we can only try our hardest and do what's best for our kids.
#39 - anonymous (17 hours ago) [-]
|#78 - Picture||03/25/2015 on Emi's Hairstyles||+1|
|#77 - Picture [+] (1 new reply)||03/25/2015 on Emi's Hairstyles||+8|
|#76 - Katawa Shoujo related post. finally get to post these. [+] (2 new replies)||03/25/2015 on Emi's Hairstyles||+4|
|#33 - <--- Perfect Donnie impersonator||03/25/2015 on [Inarticulate Yelling]||-6|
|#57 - Can I be added to the mention list too, please?||03/25/2015 on Boozle: Chapter 3||0|
|#94 - Same.||03/24/2015 on The little sea cow||+1|
|#166 - Already had it, sorry man.||03/20/2015 on Sharing your fetishes||0|
|#92 - mfw "Ta-tideli-ta-tideli" in the first one||03/20/2015 on Music Webm Comp 2||0|