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amuzen    

Rank #1587 on Comments
no avatar Level 278 Comments: Ninja Pirate
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Date Signed Up:2/20/2012
Last Login:10/23/2014
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#1587
Highest Comment Rank:#620
Comment Thumbs: 9021 total,  10804 ,  1783
Content Level Progress: 6.77% (4/59)
Level 0 Content: Untouched account → Level 1 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 55% (55/100)
Level 278 Comments: Ninja Pirate → Level 279 Comments: Ninja Pirate
Subscribers:1
Total Comments Made:5166
FJ Points:7916

latest user's comments

#37 - That cat thing is hilarious because cats HATE moving to new places. 09/06/2014 on DYK Comp #35 0
#75 - Now I want a kitten so I can stuff him in vending machines and… 09/06/2014 on pls help meowt +2
#45 - the twelfth comes along and he gives us another notice on our … 09/06/2014 on shit that never happened 0
#44 - Another time more recently, Over the course of a month this la…  [+] (1 new reply) 09/06/2014 on shit that never happened 0
#45 - amuzen (09/06/2014) [-]
the twelfth comes along and he gives us another notice on our door at 6 pm, an order of possession saying if we don't have the place emptied and clean by the 13th at 1, he'll repossess all the shit in the house and the time spent for him repossessing that shit will come out of the damage deposit.
So in order to clean everything out of the house we pull an all nighter, bring all my moms crap and store it in my new place-6 car loads of shit so that we can rent a uhual tommorow and load it the next day. next day he shows up at 1 looks through the window sees the place is empty, and immediately leaves, so I chase him down and say what the hell we're ready for the inspection, and he says, oh what inspection? that's on the 15th we're taking it the rent out of the damage deposit remember?
#43 - I had one landlord who tried to say that the oven -which I nev…  [+] (2 new replies) 09/06/2014 on shit that never happened 0
#44 - amuzen (09/06/2014) [-]
Another time more recently, Over the course of a month this landlord wasn't sober for a single day and he had a continual barrage of people coming over looking for money every day from ex employees he never payed to his ex wife looking for child support, to his 6 year old daughter, all of which he would just leave out side banging on the door while he paced back in forth in the house above us. One day, HIS land lord came and it turns out he was subletting without telling her and he was so drunk that he had forgotten to pay her that months rent, this caused a bit of a fiasco and once resolved her ultimatum was we could all stay until august 15th (two more months) then we were out.
Well what he did after that was he sold all of his big money valuables (his TV, his truck, his boat etc) and he invested all of his money in under the table storage and random bulk buy shit on ebay which he intends to sell as the need arises so no one can come after him for money.
End of july comes around, 30th, we bang on his door trying to pay the half month rent for the end of the august, he doesn' answer, 31st, 1st, 2nd, no answer and we can hear him inside so we know he's home. By the 3rd we've already got the uhaul rented and have to make a trip with half of our stuff a couple islands over to unload some stuff, 4 day trip. He waits until we're pulling out of the drive way to burst out the door and come yelling at us, Hey no I need the rent, I need the rent now. to which we say, obviously we weren't just carrying 1200 dollars on our persons so we tell him he'll have to wait till we get back. we come home and there's an eviction notice on our door for the 13th, so we call the housing authorities next day and apparently you're only allowed to dispute an eviction notice within the first 5 days after its handed and they suggest we broker a deal with him to just take half the rent out of DP so we can stay till the 15th, to which he agrees.
#45 - amuzen (09/06/2014) [-]
the twelfth comes along and he gives us another notice on our door at 6 pm, an order of possession saying if we don't have the place emptied and clean by the 13th at 1, he'll repossess all the shit in the house and the time spent for him repossessing that shit will come out of the damage deposit.
So in order to clean everything out of the house we pull an all nighter, bring all my moms crap and store it in my new place-6 car loads of shit so that we can rent a uhual tommorow and load it the next day. next day he shows up at 1 looks through the window sees the place is empty, and immediately leaves, so I chase him down and say what the hell we're ready for the inspection, and he says, oh what inspection? that's on the 15th we're taking it the rent out of the damage deposit remember?
#20 - or this is why you don't **** with your tenants i…  [+] (4 new replies) 09/06/2014 on shit that never happened 0
User avatar #28 - mymommasallama (09/06/2014) [-]
i actually had a landlord lead me and my friends into thinking we were getting ours back, only to tell us later we wouldnt due to a bunch of minor stuff right after i spent $50 on supplies to spackle a hole in a wall like not properly cleaning an a/c vent. apparently a bit of dust was going to take a good chunk of $600 to fix. ive had really cool landlords, but they weren't one of them.
#43 - amuzen (09/06/2014) [-]
I had one landlord who tried to say that the oven -which I never used- was left dirty and he reached up on top of the cupboards and pulled up some dust and an old food package that wasn't even mine and said yeah no you didn't even clean up here I can't rent like this, this is unacceptable, he tried to take my entire damage+pet deposit (I ended up not even having a pet because after I moved in to the supposedly cat friendly house he introduced me to his giant ass guard dog who was conveniently being watched by a friend while I looked at the house the first time that would attack everything that moved myself included and told me if the dog ever saw the cat he'd maul him to death) When I pulled up the point with the stove, he pulled his 4 year old son into the conversation and was like Mommy came and cleaned the stove right before you moved in, "you remember don't you eliza" was like trying to pull his 4 year old son into the conversation.
In the end I said, hey if you want to keep that damage deposit you're gonna have to call up the housing offices and bring and inspector in here, it's 50 dollars for who ever's in the wrong and I'm 100% sure that cobwebs in the corners fall into 'acceptable wear and tear' and he got all dodgy and eventually we settled for him taking only 25 out of it, still a huge douche bag.
#44 - amuzen (09/06/2014) [-]
Another time more recently, Over the course of a month this landlord wasn't sober for a single day and he had a continual barrage of people coming over looking for money every day from ex employees he never payed to his ex wife looking for child support, to his 6 year old daughter, all of which he would just leave out side banging on the door while he paced back in forth in the house above us. One day, HIS land lord came and it turns out he was subletting without telling her and he was so drunk that he had forgotten to pay her that months rent, this caused a bit of a fiasco and once resolved her ultimatum was we could all stay until august 15th (two more months) then we were out.
Well what he did after that was he sold all of his big money valuables (his TV, his truck, his boat etc) and he invested all of his money in under the table storage and random bulk buy shit on ebay which he intends to sell as the need arises so no one can come after him for money.
End of july comes around, 30th, we bang on his door trying to pay the half month rent for the end of the august, he doesn' answer, 31st, 1st, 2nd, no answer and we can hear him inside so we know he's home. By the 3rd we've already got the uhaul rented and have to make a trip with half of our stuff a couple islands over to unload some stuff, 4 day trip. He waits until we're pulling out of the drive way to burst out the door and come yelling at us, Hey no I need the rent, I need the rent now. to which we say, obviously we weren't just carrying 1200 dollars on our persons so we tell him he'll have to wait till we get back. we come home and there's an eviction notice on our door for the 13th, so we call the housing authorities next day and apparently you're only allowed to dispute an eviction notice within the first 5 days after its handed and they suggest we broker a deal with him to just take half the rent out of DP so we can stay till the 15th, to which he agrees.
#45 - amuzen (09/06/2014) [-]
the twelfth comes along and he gives us another notice on our door at 6 pm, an order of possession saying if we don't have the place emptied and clean by the 13th at 1, he'll repossess all the shit in the house and the time spent for him repossessing that shit will come out of the damage deposit.
So in order to clean everything out of the house we pull an all nighter, bring all my moms crap and store it in my new place-6 car loads of shit so that we can rent a uhual tommorow and load it the next day. next day he shows up at 1 looks through the window sees the place is empty, and immediately leaves, so I chase him down and say what the hell we're ready for the inspection, and he says, oh what inspection? that's on the 15th we're taking it the rent out of the damage deposit remember?
#40 - that bridge isn't to high above the water, given I don't know …  [+] (2 new replies) 09/06/2014 on DYK Comp #34 0
#55 - xxxsonic fanxxx (09/06/2014) [-]
and did you not consider how deep and cold the water could be and that some children may not be very good swimmers
User avatar #43 - chrisel (09/06/2014) [-]
Well, how about the speed of the water? That can easily drag you away if you slip.
#24 - also that fake golden looking material feels a little cheesy, … 09/05/2014 on beautiful 0
#22 - if it weren't for goofy looking long ass 'tongue' that looks k…  [+] (2 new replies) 09/05/2014 on beautiful +3
User avatar #23 - zenthos (09/05/2014) [-]
I was thinking the same thing
#24 - amuzen (09/05/2014) [-]
also that fake golden looking material feels a little cheesy, iron would've probably been better.
#37 - someone else had the idea doesn't mean google isn't the one wo… 09/05/2014 on (untitled) 0
#13 - cat's have a pretty good understanding of death. 09/05/2014 on little buddy +2
#4 - without a picture of the actual clouds I don't want to pass ju… 09/05/2014 on (untitled) -2
#22 - when they say pumpkin flavored they usually mean pumpkin spice… 09/05/2014 on Prepare for fall! 0
#33 - that humming bird probably looks so sad because the birds and … 09/05/2014 on Nature is scary 0
#36 - lol at the 'only in murica' Although on a side note, … 09/05/2014 on Tyrone powered up with KFC +1
#4 - I like how it has two openings, one for her face and one for h…  [+] (1 new reply) 09/04/2014 on Welcome to Anime 0
#6 - xxxsonic fanxxx (09/04/2014) [-]
How else would we know if she was naked or not?
#1 - Would've made a lot more sense, everything left up to presumpt… 09/04/2014 on LOK Book 3 Alternate... 0
#1 - woulda been in awesome character in something like bojack hors…  [+] (3 new replies) 09/04/2014 on catman +40
#18 - endospore (09/05/2014) [-]
I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed Bojack Horseman
User avatar #3 - trolljunkusa (09/05/2014) [-]
Or trip tank
User avatar #2 - thesticklebricks (09/05/2014) [-]
Ugly Americans! fuck I love that, needs a network or something to pick it up because 2 seasons is not enough!
#34 - you might have a disability but that's ok. 09/04/2014 on I am apalled +6
#8 - also she's resting it on her shoulder and she doesn't have to …  [+] (1 new reply) 09/04/2014 on Meanwhile in Scotland +46
#26 - firesky (09/04/2014) [-]
I still think it's impressive to carry it alone
#3 - plot twist, there actually are no prostitutes there and it's j…  [+] (1 new reply) 09/04/2014 on Good to know +6
#4 - zzzszz (09/04/2014) [-]
Im pretty sure I've seen this before and what happened was the home used to be used as a brothel but not anymore and people keep going to the house assuming its still running a brothel. I could be wrong
#79 - Ummm I know my grandpa on my moms side of the family is 100% e… 09/04/2014 on What race are you? 0
#1 - The intial logic before the **** nevermind only m…  [+] (6 new replies) 09/04/2014 on Every Single One of Them +2
User avatar #2 - sewallman (09/04/2014) [-]
I'd rather be able to dry my hands without using 12 paper towels. Public restrooms just buy shit quality shitwipe though.
#3 - slackerbro (09/04/2014) [-]
Dude, how huge must your hands be for you not to be able to dry them with less than 3 pieces of paper towel?
I use 2, including closing the faucet and opening the door with the second one.
User avatar #6 - azraelthemage (09/04/2014) [-]
then the public restrooms where you live must have some super absorbent stuff, because I need like 7 sheets at minimum just to get my hands remotely dry.
#10 - slackerbro (09/05/2014) [-]
User avatar #4 - sewallman (09/04/2014) [-]
I'm allergic to fluorine, I get itchy if I leave my hands any bit wet.
User avatar #5 - sewallman (09/04/2014) [-]
And also, they are pretty big hands now that I look at them..
#82 - It's not really, unless they're bringing you into the activity… 09/04/2014 on yes. yes it is. +1
#15 - weeaboo just means white non Japanese people trying to act lik…  [+] (2 new replies) 09/04/2014 on Big Hero 6 -7
User avatar #62 - jiboia (09/04/2014) [-]
You are a mistake.
#48 - xxxsonic fanxxx (09/04/2014) [-]
Oh, good to know that it's just us being overly sensitive. Obviously we should have known that you weren't using that derogatory term in a derogatory fashion. I'm going to use that explanation next time I want to use the word nigger when in the company of large black males. I'll come back and post the results when I get out of the fucking hospital.
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #15 - maybetraffy (07/12/2014) [-]
you're zen
User avatar #6 - konradkurze ONLINE (03/08/2014) [-]
dick
User avatar #7 to #6 - erubetie (03/21/2014) [-]
goes in the ass
User avatar #8 to #7 - konradkurze ONLINE (03/21/2014) [-]
your ass
User avatar #9 to #8 - erubetie (03/21/2014) [-]
no
User avatar #10 to #9 - konradkurze ONLINE (03/21/2014) [-]
prepare your anus
im going in dry as the sahara desert
User avatar #11 to #10 - erubetie (03/21/2014) [-]
To bad I don't have a ass
#12 to #11 - konradkurze ONLINE (03/21/2014) [-]
plan B then
#13 to #12 - erubetie (03/21/2014) [-]
I'm slime I could kill you at any moment
User avatar #3 - enderslayer (11/27/2012) [-]
Did you ever get around to that witch with the templar markings on her chest drawing?
#4 to #3 - amuzen (11/28/2012) [-]
I got the witch part down but then my sketchbook got destroyed in a **** storm and my computer got in so i started practicing my 3d modeling for college, it ended up being put on my 'to do' list
User avatar #5 to #4 - enderslayer (11/28/2012) [-]
Well, you got around to doing it at least.
User avatar #1 - enderslayer (09/16/2012) [-]
Hello.
#2 to #1 - amuzen (09/17/2012) [-]
howdy.
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