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abiderp

Last status update:
-
Gender: female
Date Signed Up:4/13/2014
Last Login:8/19/2016
Location:Literally three blocks away from the Washougal river
FunnyJunk Career Stats
Content Thumbs: 730 total,  921 ,  191
Comment Thumbs: 2680 total,  2766 ,  86
Content Level Progress: 30% (3/10)
Level 54 Content: Sammich eater → Level 55 Content: Sammich eater
Comment Level Progress: 0% (0/100)
Level 220 Comments: Mind Blower → Level 221 Comments: Mind Blower
Subscribers:1
Content Views:43606
Times Content Favorited:17 times
Total Comments Made:725
FJ Points:2544
Not much to say about me. I like binge-watching cartoons, and I spend far too much time on this website. I have a very very short attention span, which I assume holds true for most of us. I'm in high school.

Text Posts

latest user's comments

#4 - I would kill to see that 06/04/2016 on looks like a bootleg 0
#33 - That's pretty great, and I'm so happy that you were inspired. …  [+] (1 new reply) 05/26/2016 on Lag in real life +1
User avatar
#34 - stickmansam (05/27/2016) [-]
Thanks. Im glad you were here to listen, since ive not gotten a chance tell my story before.
#18 - Well, to put it bluntly, that sucks. I guess I'm practically c…  [+] (3 new replies) 05/26/2016 on Lag in real life 0
#22 - stickmansam (05/26/2016) [-]
I quite when i was too young to really develope a style. Back in elementary school I used a lot of harsh dark lines and drew mostly things from my head, like houses and dragons, that sort of stuff. It all came so easy. Once i began taking art classes and was challanged to draw real things i began to faulter. It was too much pressure and i was too depressed to overcome the anxiety that came with failure. When i was drawing for fun i couldnt fail, but somewhere along the lines it became about achievement and not expression. Its been so long since ive actually expressed myself in my art that i dont even remember how to. At some point i killed myself and replaced me with what i thought everyone wanted to see. I was so scared of failure. My parents were emotionally abusive and beat the origanality out of me. The few friends i had were emotionally dead people. One had aspergers and was a good friend, but wasnt a supportive friend. The other was a narcassist like my parents and only ever put me down and encouraged my fake behaviour. It wasnt until last year that i met a friend who actually cared about me. It was then that i realised what an actual healthy relationship feels like. But, i spent almost 8 years completley ignoring and beating down my emotions. Just when i started to get on the right track to remember who i actually am, bipolar struck. I had been bipolar my whole life, but i had been on a depressed to depressed cycle. A few months ago i had a sudden manaic episode and thats when i was diagnosed. Who i am now is different every 45 minutes , i have no idea what emotions are real and what arent. Ive had several psychotic episodes too. I just have no idea who the hell i actaully am. It will take time before i can sit down and express how i feel rather than how i want others to see me. I may never be able too. I did, after i posted that last commemt feel inspired to draw something. Its the first thing ive drawn since i graduated in 2014.
User avatar
#33 - abiderp (05/26/2016) [-]
That's pretty great, and I'm so happy that you were inspired. If, for whatever reason, you need or just want to talk to me, please message me! You sound like a pretty cool person, even if all we did was talk about our problems. Again, I'm so happy for you that you were inspired! It looks great!
User avatar
#34 - stickmansam (05/27/2016) [-]
Thanks. Im glad you were here to listen, since ive not gotten a chance tell my story before.
#15 - That sounds like a textbook case of Sensory Processing Disorde…  [+] (5 new replies) 05/26/2016 on Lag in real life 0
User avatar
#16 - stickmansam (05/26/2016) [-]
well, im well known to have issues with my doctor. im bipolar and have GAD as well as some other neurological issues that haven't been named yet. im good at drawing and painting, but unfortunately, due to my bipolar GAD combo i haven't practiced much in since i graduated high-school in 2014 i needed half a math credit and i didnt complete it until the summer of 2015. . even while in school i didn't do most of the art assignments. all through elementary school my teachers would tell me how i was going to be famous one day. one teacher even stole some of my art because she thought it would be worth something someday. the attention made me really cocky and kind of a dick. i went to a small high school and was pretty much the only really talented person in the visual arts department. they actually brought in an actual reknown artist just for me and a few other kids since the art was so abysmal prior to my arrival. i was supposed to be his prized pupal and go on to do great things. i shit all over him and blew off all of the assignments. he tried really hard and never gave up on me, even after i repeatedly shit on his help, i have no idea why. i feel absolutely awful for wasting his time and talent. there were others who could have actually benefited from his guidance. i really didn't deserve him. i pretty much flunked out of junior and senior year because i just didn't do my homework. somehow though, i got it. thats the story of my sad life as a tortured artist. i hope that one day ill be able to practice again, but i dont know if i will.
User avatar
#18 - abiderp (05/26/2016) [-]
Well, to put it bluntly, that sucks. I guess I'm practically compulsive when it comes to art and picking all the skin off my fingershahaha so I'd never really considered the idea of...not doing it. What's your general style? I've had mine compared to Sunday Paper comics. About all of that mess, though; if you want my advice, I've come to realize that people judge me a lot less than I think they do, and I'm certain this man doesn't hold any bad thoughts, and neither do your schoolmates. If you ever get all tangled up thinking about guilty stuff from your past, try taking a step back, a deep breath and saying "It's over and done. There's nothing I can do about then, so now I can move on."
I know I don't have the same problems as you, but that's what helps me to get out of my head about stuff like that.
#22 - stickmansam (05/26/2016) [-]
I quite when i was too young to really develope a style. Back in elementary school I used a lot of harsh dark lines and drew mostly things from my head, like houses and dragons, that sort of stuff. It all came so easy. Once i began taking art classes and was challanged to draw real things i began to faulter. It was too much pressure and i was too depressed to overcome the anxiety that came with failure. When i was drawing for fun i couldnt fail, but somewhere along the lines it became about achievement and not expression. Its been so long since ive actually expressed myself in my art that i dont even remember how to. At some point i killed myself and replaced me with what i thought everyone wanted to see. I was so scared of failure. My parents were emotionally abusive and beat the origanality out of me. The few friends i had were emotionally dead people. One had aspergers and was a good friend, but wasnt a supportive friend. The other was a narcassist like my parents and only ever put me down and encouraged my fake behaviour. It wasnt until last year that i met a friend who actually cared about me. It was then that i realised what an actual healthy relationship feels like. But, i spent almost 8 years completley ignoring and beating down my emotions. Just when i started to get on the right track to remember who i actually am, bipolar struck. I had been bipolar my whole life, but i had been on a depressed to depressed cycle. A few months ago i had a sudden manaic episode and thats when i was diagnosed. Who i am now is different every 45 minutes , i have no idea what emotions are real and what arent. Ive had several psychotic episodes too. I just have no idea who the hell i actaully am. It will take time before i can sit down and express how i feel rather than how i want others to see me. I may never be able too. I did, after i posted that last commemt feel inspired to draw something. Its the first thing ive drawn since i graduated in 2014.
User avatar
#33 - abiderp (05/26/2016) [-]
That's pretty great, and I'm so happy that you were inspired. If, for whatever reason, you need or just want to talk to me, please message me! You sound like a pretty cool person, even if all we did was talk about our problems. Again, I'm so happy for you that you were inspired! It looks great!
User avatar
#34 - stickmansam (05/27/2016) [-]
Thanks. Im glad you were here to listen, since ive not gotten a chance tell my story before.
#12 - It's called Sensory Processing Disorder, and I've got it with …  [+] (7 new replies) 05/26/2016 on Lag in real life 0
User avatar
#13 - stickmansam (05/26/2016) [-]
wow, im just like you, only different. my visual processing speed is slow, but not that slow. i too have trouble understanding people in noisy places and my family drives me crazy too. i have to have a fan running in my room nonstop to block out the sounds. im very sensitive to tastes and i hate a lot of food that people love, like chocolate and pizza, because they taste so strongly. theres certain things that i just cannot touch. magazine paper and the backs of stickers are like nails on a chalk board to me and make me want to vomit. just thinking about the feeling makes me sick. certain parts of my body are sensitive to light touching, like if someone brushes my upper arm gently it drives me nuts. if they press firmly i have no problem with it. its interesting hearing about another person with similar problems to mine. do you have any talents of any kind?
User avatar
#15 - abiderp (05/26/2016) [-]
That sounds like a textbook case of Sensory Processing Disorder, especially the part about light brushing. If you've got the time I'd take a look through the adolescent/adult checklist at the bottom of this link www.spdfoundation.net/about-sensory-processing-disorder/symptoms/ If you're checking off more than a couple, you could bring it up with your doctor next time you get a checkup (Or tell your parents I don't know how old you are)
Talents? Not much besides the ability to get annoyed at literally any sound ever. My hearing's pretty sharp, I guess. I can pick up a lot of things. I just can't understand the puddle of mush my brain turns it all into. I'm pretty okay at drawing and writing.
What about you?
User avatar
#16 - stickmansam (05/26/2016) [-]
well, im well known to have issues with my doctor. im bipolar and have GAD as well as some other neurological issues that haven't been named yet. im good at drawing and painting, but unfortunately, due to my bipolar GAD combo i haven't practiced much in since i graduated high-school in 2014 i needed half a math credit and i didnt complete it until the summer of 2015. . even while in school i didn't do most of the art assignments. all through elementary school my teachers would tell me how i was going to be famous one day. one teacher even stole some of my art because she thought it would be worth something someday. the attention made me really cocky and kind of a dick. i went to a small high school and was pretty much the only really talented person in the visual arts department. they actually brought in an actual reknown artist just for me and a few other kids since the art was so abysmal prior to my arrival. i was supposed to be his prized pupal and go on to do great things. i shit all over him and blew off all of the assignments. he tried really hard and never gave up on me, even after i repeatedly shit on his help, i have no idea why. i feel absolutely awful for wasting his time and talent. there were others who could have actually benefited from his guidance. i really didn't deserve him. i pretty much flunked out of junior and senior year because i just didn't do my homework. somehow though, i got it. thats the story of my sad life as a tortured artist. i hope that one day ill be able to practice again, but i dont know if i will.
User avatar
#18 - abiderp (05/26/2016) [-]
Well, to put it bluntly, that sucks. I guess I'm practically compulsive when it comes to art and picking all the skin off my fingershahaha so I'd never really considered the idea of...not doing it. What's your general style? I've had mine compared to Sunday Paper comics. About all of that mess, though; if you want my advice, I've come to realize that people judge me a lot less than I think they do, and I'm certain this man doesn't hold any bad thoughts, and neither do your schoolmates. If you ever get all tangled up thinking about guilty stuff from your past, try taking a step back, a deep breath and saying "It's over and done. There's nothing I can do about then, so now I can move on."
I know I don't have the same problems as you, but that's what helps me to get out of my head about stuff like that.
#22 - stickmansam (05/26/2016) [-]
I quite when i was too young to really develope a style. Back in elementary school I used a lot of harsh dark lines and drew mostly things from my head, like houses and dragons, that sort of stuff. It all came so easy. Once i began taking art classes and was challanged to draw real things i began to faulter. It was too much pressure and i was too depressed to overcome the anxiety that came with failure. When i was drawing for fun i couldnt fail, but somewhere along the lines it became about achievement and not expression. Its been so long since ive actually expressed myself in my art that i dont even remember how to. At some point i killed myself and replaced me with what i thought everyone wanted to see. I was so scared of failure. My parents were emotionally abusive and beat the origanality out of me. The few friends i had were emotionally dead people. One had aspergers and was a good friend, but wasnt a supportive friend. The other was a narcassist like my parents and only ever put me down and encouraged my fake behaviour. It wasnt until last year that i met a friend who actually cared about me. It was then that i realised what an actual healthy relationship feels like. But, i spent almost 8 years completley ignoring and beating down my emotions. Just when i started to get on the right track to remember who i actually am, bipolar struck. I had been bipolar my whole life, but i had been on a depressed to depressed cycle. A few months ago i had a sudden manaic episode and thats when i was diagnosed. Who i am now is different every 45 minutes , i have no idea what emotions are real and what arent. Ive had several psychotic episodes too. I just have no idea who the hell i actaully am. It will take time before i can sit down and express how i feel rather than how i want others to see me. I may never be able too. I did, after i posted that last commemt feel inspired to draw something. Its the first thing ive drawn since i graduated in 2014.
User avatar
#33 - abiderp (05/26/2016) [-]
That's pretty great, and I'm so happy that you were inspired. If, for whatever reason, you need or just want to talk to me, please message me! You sound like a pretty cool person, even if all we did was talk about our problems. Again, I'm so happy for you that you were inspired! It looks great!
User avatar
#34 - stickmansam (05/27/2016) [-]
Thanks. Im glad you were here to listen, since ive not gotten a chance tell my story before.
#6 - Sometimes I drop something, and I don't hear the sound it made…  [+] (9 new replies) 05/25/2016 on Lag in real life 0
User avatar
#8 - stickmansam (05/26/2016) [-]
really? whats it called? how does it affect your life?
User avatar
#12 - abiderp (05/26/2016) [-]
It's called Sensory Processing Disorder, and I've got it with hearing, vestibular and and touch. Other people can have issues with other senses, including But I'm lucky enough to get it pretty mild. (Babbling about my issues in hidden text)
Basically, it means my brain has issues sorting out issues from my sensory nerves. It really just means I can be ultra-sensitive or under-sensitive to things I hear and see, and what I do hear and see doesn't always make sense.
For example, I find it basically impossible to understand somebody who's speaking in a crowded room unless I focus really hard. But then at night I can hear every sound my siblings make, and it drives me so far up the wall I have to play brown noise every night to get to sleep. I used to spend hours as a little kid spinning in circles because I craved the vestibular input, and sometimes I catch myself rocking still. I'm a complete and utter sucker for swingsets and merry-go-rounds, and I could spend literally all day on a swing. Not doing anything, just swinging. As for touch, I'm really undersensitive so anything that puts pressure on me, especially my legs, feels just heavenly. I'm constantly mashing my fingertips because it just feels good. Also the little stretch of skin between my thumb and forefinger bothers me for no reason, and it's doing that as I type, and the more I think about it, the worse it gets. (Fucking kill me, that one's new and I hate it so much.)
It fluctuates a lot too, and recently it's been a little bit worse than I remember. I didn't used to be so bothered by noise, or even need anything playing at night. But I should count myself lucky, as mine's really only a couple of small irregularities, compared to a full-blown disorder in my opinion. I'd really suggest researching more, especially on sensory meltdowns, which sound terrifying. I think I had a couple of those when I was small.

User avatar
#13 - stickmansam (05/26/2016) [-]
wow, im just like you, only different. my visual processing speed is slow, but not that slow. i too have trouble understanding people in noisy places and my family drives me crazy too. i have to have a fan running in my room nonstop to block out the sounds. im very sensitive to tastes and i hate a lot of food that people love, like chocolate and pizza, because they taste so strongly. theres certain things that i just cannot touch. magazine paper and the backs of stickers are like nails on a chalk board to me and make me want to vomit. just thinking about the feeling makes me sick. certain parts of my body are sensitive to light touching, like if someone brushes my upper arm gently it drives me nuts. if they press firmly i have no problem with it. its interesting hearing about another person with similar problems to mine. do you have any talents of any kind?
User avatar
#15 - abiderp (05/26/2016) [-]
That sounds like a textbook case of Sensory Processing Disorder, especially the part about light brushing. If you've got the time I'd take a look through the adolescent/adult checklist at the bottom of this link www.spdfoundation.net/about-sensory-processing-disorder/symptoms/ If you're checking off more than a couple, you could bring it up with your doctor next time you get a checkup (Or tell your parents I don't know how old you are)
Talents? Not much besides the ability to get annoyed at literally any sound ever. My hearing's pretty sharp, I guess. I can pick up a lot of things. I just can't understand the puddle of mush my brain turns it all into. I'm pretty okay at drawing and writing.
What about you?
User avatar
#16 - stickmansam (05/26/2016) [-]
well, im well known to have issues with my doctor. im bipolar and have GAD as well as some other neurological issues that haven't been named yet. im good at drawing and painting, but unfortunately, due to my bipolar GAD combo i haven't practiced much in since i graduated high-school in 2014 i needed half a math credit and i didnt complete it until the summer of 2015. . even while in school i didn't do most of the art assignments. all through elementary school my teachers would tell me how i was going to be famous one day. one teacher even stole some of my art because she thought it would be worth something someday. the attention made me really cocky and kind of a dick. i went to a small high school and was pretty much the only really talented person in the visual arts department. they actually brought in an actual reknown artist just for me and a few other kids since the art was so abysmal prior to my arrival. i was supposed to be his prized pupal and go on to do great things. i shit all over him and blew off all of the assignments. he tried really hard and never gave up on me, even after i repeatedly shit on his help, i have no idea why. i feel absolutely awful for wasting his time and talent. there were others who could have actually benefited from his guidance. i really didn't deserve him. i pretty much flunked out of junior and senior year because i just didn't do my homework. somehow though, i got it. thats the story of my sad life as a tortured artist. i hope that one day ill be able to practice again, but i dont know if i will.
User avatar
#18 - abiderp (05/26/2016) [-]
Well, to put it bluntly, that sucks. I guess I'm practically compulsive when it comes to art and picking all the skin off my fingershahaha so I'd never really considered the idea of...not doing it. What's your general style? I've had mine compared to Sunday Paper comics. About all of that mess, though; if you want my advice, I've come to realize that people judge me a lot less than I think they do, and I'm certain this man doesn't hold any bad thoughts, and neither do your schoolmates. If you ever get all tangled up thinking about guilty stuff from your past, try taking a step back, a deep breath and saying "It's over and done. There's nothing I can do about then, so now I can move on."
I know I don't have the same problems as you, but that's what helps me to get out of my head about stuff like that.
#22 - stickmansam (05/26/2016) [-]
I quite when i was too young to really develope a style. Back in elementary school I used a lot of harsh dark lines and drew mostly things from my head, like houses and dragons, that sort of stuff. It all came so easy. Once i began taking art classes and was challanged to draw real things i began to faulter. It was too much pressure and i was too depressed to overcome the anxiety that came with failure. When i was drawing for fun i couldnt fail, but somewhere along the lines it became about achievement and not expression. Its been so long since ive actually expressed myself in my art that i dont even remember how to. At some point i killed myself and replaced me with what i thought everyone wanted to see. I was so scared of failure. My parents were emotionally abusive and beat the origanality out of me. The few friends i had were emotionally dead people. One had aspergers and was a good friend, but wasnt a supportive friend. The other was a narcassist like my parents and only ever put me down and encouraged my fake behaviour. It wasnt until last year that i met a friend who actually cared about me. It was then that i realised what an actual healthy relationship feels like. But, i spent almost 8 years completley ignoring and beating down my emotions. Just when i started to get on the right track to remember who i actually am, bipolar struck. I had been bipolar my whole life, but i had been on a depressed to depressed cycle. A few months ago i had a sudden manaic episode and thats when i was diagnosed. Who i am now is different every 45 minutes , i have no idea what emotions are real and what arent. Ive had several psychotic episodes too. I just have no idea who the hell i actaully am. It will take time before i can sit down and express how i feel rather than how i want others to see me. I may never be able too. I did, after i posted that last commemt feel inspired to draw something. Its the first thing ive drawn since i graduated in 2014.
User avatar
#33 - abiderp (05/26/2016) [-]
That's pretty great, and I'm so happy that you were inspired. If, for whatever reason, you need or just want to talk to me, please message me! You sound like a pretty cool person, even if all we did was talk about our problems. Again, I'm so happy for you that you were inspired! It looks great!
User avatar
#34 - stickmansam (05/27/2016) [-]
Thanks. Im glad you were here to listen, since ive not gotten a chance tell my story before.
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