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Totaler Avatar Level 310 Comments: Wizard
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Gender: male
Date Signed Up:2/19/2010
Last Login:11/18/2014
Location:Canada
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#33335
Highest Content Rank:#398
Highest Comment Rank:#182
Content Thumbs: 13954 total,  15714 ,  1760
Comment Thumbs: 11049 total,  13419 ,  2370
Content Level Progress: 92.6% (926/1000)
Level 213 Content: Comedic Genius → Level 214 Content: Comedic Genius
Comment Level Progress: 8.8% (44/500)
Level 310 Comments: Wizard → Level 311 Comments: Wizard
Subscribers:17
Content Views:149147
Times Content Favorited:1065 times
Total Comments Made:8517
FJ Points:767
Favorite Tags: facebook (9) | Pokemon (9) | funny (8) | Bieber (7) | fail (7) | meme (7) | win (6) | DnD (5) | Hockey (5) | quotes (5) | comments (4) | girls (4) | highschool (4) | jersey shore (4) | justin (4) | shit (4) | Awesome (3) | awkward (3) | Emo (3) | graphs (3)
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    Uploaded: 07/08/10
    Awesome vs Awkward Awesome vs Awkward
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    Uploaded: 07/04/11
    Typical Emo Girl vs Normal Teenage Girl Typical Emo Girl vs Normal...
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    Clean vs Foul Clean vs Foul
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    Awesome vs Awkward 2 Awesome vs Awkward 2
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    Typical Emo Girl vs Normal Teenage Girl2 Typical Emo Girl vs Normal...
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    Uploaded: 04/05/10
    Meanwhile Meanwhile
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 > >> [ 151 Funny Pictures Total ]
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youtube videos

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    Uploaded: 07/18/12
    Ryan at His Best Ryan at His Best
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    Uploaded: 03/31/10
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sketches

latest user's comments

#339015 - Alright then, peace out cunts.  [+] (1 new reply) 11/18/2014 on Hating - file complaints,... 0
#339016 - Womens Study Major (11/18/2014) [-]
#338871 - No, I'm seeing one of the "3". 11/18/2014 on Hating - file complaints,... -2
#338858 - Yes. 11/18/2014 on Hating - file complaints,... 0
#338857 - Someone needs to sit down with these girls and explain to them…  [+] (3 new replies) 11/18/2014 on Hating - file complaints,... -3
#339084 - iamannon (11/18/2014) [-]
I actually can not tell If you are being serious or ironic, holy fuck this is hilarious
User avatar #338866 - thebestpieever (11/18/2014) [-]
You make so many references to one night stands and "sluts" over your seven billion paragraphs with two sentences each that I'm really surprised you never wondered why no one can see how nice you are. Honestly it seems you're just getting on a bent because these people... exist and have sex with other people that also exist.
User avatar #338871 - Totaler (11/18/2014) [-]
No, I'm seeing one of the "3".
#338852 - No that's amusing.  [+] (5 new replies) 11/18/2014 on Hating - file complaints,... 0
User avatar #338853 - princessren (11/18/2014) [-]
...in a good way?
User avatar #339317 - aherorising (11/19/2014) [-]
you really shouldn't care that much about something as small and insignificant as a phone case.
User avatar #339318 - princessren (11/19/2014) [-]
I was just wondering if all iphones = bad
User avatar #339320 - aherorising (11/19/2014) [-]
Nah. The Iphone in general is still a very decent device, capable of doing everything you realistically would expect a smartphone to be capable of. The hate is rather aimed towards people who feel better for having an expensive brand device, while knowing nothing about it.
I won't hate someone who claims iphone to be better when he/she can give solid arguments and knows his way around the market, nor will I be angry at someone who is simply happy with his phone the way it is. But I will dislike someone who's never dared to touch another brand claiming the iphone is better than all others because it can do something useless/extremely specific.
I do commend the brand for it's simplicity though. As the interface is clear, and simplistic, I'd advice an iphone or ipad to any elder with little experience with technology (including my mom, dad, and grandpa). I personally prefer more customization and tweaking with my device, though.
User avatar #338858 - Totaler (11/18/2014) [-]
Yes.
#338851 - The landscape here, without noise, is rather easy to look at. …  [+] (4 new replies) 11/18/2014 on Hating - file complaints,... -3
User avatar #338857 - Totaler (11/18/2014) [-]
Someone needs to sit down with these girls and explain to them, maybe the reason your boyfriend cheated on you was because he found another girl, thought it was you, and couldn't tell the fucking difference. "Well sorry babe she had the same hair, clothes, phone, voice, personality, name, and everything else as you, I thought it was you I was bending over the table."

And no girls, using a different Instagram filter from your friend does not show your individuality. Although it's at least somewhat helpful in telling you apart.

And I won't even begin to go down the road of talking about the bar scene or party scene. Imagine 200 of the same, drunkenly grinding on whatever she can find in her crop top and short skirt, holding her Smirnoff Ice and, once again, taking another goddamn selfie for Instagram #wasted #ohmygod #Smirnoff #whoisthisguy #hopehebroughtacondom.

The only thing a man can do is hope to fuck he manages to avoid the bitch, become friends with the non-photocopy, and find one of the three who doesn't come with a side order of insanity.
#339084 - iamannon (11/18/2014) [-]
I actually can not tell If you are being serious or ironic, holy fuck this is hilarious
User avatar #338866 - thebestpieever (11/18/2014) [-]
You make so many references to one night stands and "sluts" over your seven billion paragraphs with two sentences each that I'm really surprised you never wondered why no one can see how nice you are. Honestly it seems you're just getting on a bent because these people... exist and have sex with other people that also exist.
User avatar #338871 - Totaler (11/18/2014) [-]
No, I'm seeing one of the "3".
#338842 - And of those identical seven, one provides a shred of hope. Fo…  [+] (12 new replies) 11/18/2014 on Hating - file complaints,... -2
User avatar #338851 - Totaler (11/18/2014) [-]
The landscape here, without noise, is rather easy to look at. Even if they all look the same, at least it's a sea of (mostly) nice butts. The problem, my friends comes with the noise associated with the other end of these creatures.

This is my school's first year with a basketball team. So, a wave of tall, athletic, good looking, mostly black males has appeared here. They're not the problem. They're all rather chill guys. The problem is that every one of those six photocopies wants every single one in her bed, right now. You cannot be near the team without hearing a pack of identical 5'3" sluts talking about how she would fuck any number of them in a heartbeat.

And aside from talking about trying to lure an outstanding young athlete into making a one night mistake, the most common phrases uttered by these things include "oh my God did you hear..." "I can't believe she..." and "ugh I wish I looked like that". Bitch, you do look like that. You and your five photocopied friends look like that other photocopy that just walked by you on her way to Starbucks.

All they talk about is looks, dicks, and clothes. "Oh my God Jenny, where did you get that sweater?" "Well Sarah, I got it the same place as Becky, Meghan, Molly, Erika, and Carly did. You know, the Generic Slut Shop over on Basic Boulevard. My daddy bought it for me because I threatened to smash the iPhone he pays for if he didn't."

TBC

User avatar #338857 - Totaler (11/18/2014) [-]
Someone needs to sit down with these girls and explain to them, maybe the reason your boyfriend cheated on you was because he found another girl, thought it was you, and couldn't tell the fucking difference. "Well sorry babe she had the same hair, clothes, phone, voice, personality, name, and everything else as you, I thought it was you I was bending over the table."

And no girls, using a different Instagram filter from your friend does not show your individuality. Although it's at least somewhat helpful in telling you apart.

And I won't even begin to go down the road of talking about the bar scene or party scene. Imagine 200 of the same, drunkenly grinding on whatever she can find in her crop top and short skirt, holding her Smirnoff Ice and, once again, taking another goddamn selfie for Instagram #wasted #ohmygod #Smirnoff #whoisthisguy #hopehebroughtacondom.

The only thing a man can do is hope to fuck he manages to avoid the bitch, become friends with the non-photocopy, and find one of the three who doesn't come with a side order of insanity.
#339084 - iamannon (11/18/2014) [-]
I actually can not tell If you are being serious or ironic, holy fuck this is hilarious
User avatar #338866 - thebestpieever (11/18/2014) [-]
You make so many references to one night stands and "sluts" over your seven billion paragraphs with two sentences each that I'm really surprised you never wondered why no one can see how nice you are. Honestly it seems you're just getting on a bent because these people... exist and have sex with other people that also exist.
User avatar #338871 - Totaler (11/18/2014) [-]
No, I'm seeing one of the "3".
User avatar #338844 - princessren (11/18/2014) [-]
is it bad that I have an iphone if it is an iphone 4 with an R2D2 cover
User avatar #338852 - Totaler (11/18/2014) [-]
No that's amusing.
User avatar #338853 - princessren (11/18/2014) [-]
...in a good way?
User avatar #339317 - aherorising (11/19/2014) [-]
you really shouldn't care that much about something as small and insignificant as a phone case.
User avatar #339318 - princessren (11/19/2014) [-]
I was just wondering if all iphones = bad
User avatar #339320 - aherorising (11/19/2014) [-]
Nah. The Iphone in general is still a very decent device, capable of doing everything you realistically would expect a smartphone to be capable of. The hate is rather aimed towards people who feel better for having an expensive brand device, while knowing nothing about it.
I won't hate someone who claims iphone to be better when he/she can give solid arguments and knows his way around the market, nor will I be angry at someone who is simply happy with his phone the way it is. But I will dislike someone who's never dared to touch another brand claiming the iphone is better than all others because it can do something useless/extremely specific.
I do commend the brand for it's simplicity though. As the interface is clear, and simplistic, I'd advice an iphone or ipad to any elder with little experience with technology (including my mom, dad, and grandpa). I personally prefer more customization and tweaking with my device, though.
User avatar #338858 - Totaler (11/18/2014) [-]
Yes.
#338835 - I hate movies with generic background characters. I hate gener…  [+] (15 new replies) 11/18/2014 on Hating - file complaints,... -3
User avatar #338977 - rokkarokkaali (11/18/2014) [-]
Are you mad that girls are using yoga pants. Ha gay
User avatar #338872 - teoberry (11/18/2014) [-]
you sound really bitter that even with an 11:1 ratio you cant get your dick wet for shit
User avatar #338842 - Totaler (11/18/2014) [-]
And of those identical seven, one provides a shred of hope. For though she may lok the same with her Lulus and her iPhone, if you get to know her, there is a unique individual in there alongside the Starbucks and whatever gluten-free, sugar-free, fat-free, taste-free paste she ate for breakfast.

So let's break this down; eleven women will comprise of the one bitch, three human beings, six generic photocopies pretending to be human, and one normal person who just dresses like a basic bitch. So if we write this out in a win-loss-overtime manner that's 3-6-1-1 (the bitch gets a point for being different enough to be a cunt). That's a horrific record. That is a .333 win percentage. That is below the Bills, the Hornets, and the Oilers in their respective leagues.

As I sat in class today, I looked around at the women in the room. And I figured the pH of the class to be approximately 13.5, it was saddening. And if you think looking at a sea of yoga pants and bandeaus is bad, it only gets worse. You might also be slightly homosexual, but this is Canada, we're ok with that.

TBC
User avatar #338851 - Totaler (11/18/2014) [-]
The landscape here, without noise, is rather easy to look at. Even if they all look the same, at least it's a sea of (mostly) nice butts. The problem, my friends comes with the noise associated with the other end of these creatures.

This is my school's first year with a basketball team. So, a wave of tall, athletic, good looking, mostly black males has appeared here. They're not the problem. They're all rather chill guys. The problem is that every one of those six photocopies wants every single one in her bed, right now. You cannot be near the team without hearing a pack of identical 5'3" sluts talking about how she would fuck any number of them in a heartbeat.

And aside from talking about trying to lure an outstanding young athlete into making a one night mistake, the most common phrases uttered by these things include "oh my God did you hear..." "I can't believe she..." and "ugh I wish I looked like that". Bitch, you do look like that. You and your five photocopied friends look like that other photocopy that just walked by you on her way to Starbucks.

All they talk about is looks, dicks, and clothes. "Oh my God Jenny, where did you get that sweater?" "Well Sarah, I got it the same place as Becky, Meghan, Molly, Erika, and Carly did. You know, the Generic Slut Shop over on Basic Boulevard. My daddy bought it for me because I threatened to smash the iPhone he pays for if he didn't."

TBC

User avatar #338857 - Totaler (11/18/2014) [-]
Someone needs to sit down with these girls and explain to them, maybe the reason your boyfriend cheated on you was because he found another girl, thought it was you, and couldn't tell the fucking difference. "Well sorry babe she had the same hair, clothes, phone, voice, personality, name, and everything else as you, I thought it was you I was bending over the table."

And no girls, using a different Instagram filter from your friend does not show your individuality. Although it's at least somewhat helpful in telling you apart.

And I won't even begin to go down the road of talking about the bar scene or party scene. Imagine 200 of the same, drunkenly grinding on whatever she can find in her crop top and short skirt, holding her Smirnoff Ice and, once again, taking another goddamn selfie for Instagram #wasted #ohmygod #Smirnoff #whoisthisguy #hopehebroughtacondom.

The only thing a man can do is hope to fuck he manages to avoid the bitch, become friends with the non-photocopy, and find one of the three who doesn't come with a side order of insanity.
#339084 - iamannon (11/18/2014) [-]
I actually can not tell If you are being serious or ironic, holy fuck this is hilarious
User avatar #338866 - thebestpieever (11/18/2014) [-]
You make so many references to one night stands and "sluts" over your seven billion paragraphs with two sentences each that I'm really surprised you never wondered why no one can see how nice you are. Honestly it seems you're just getting on a bent because these people... exist and have sex with other people that also exist.
User avatar #338871 - Totaler (11/18/2014) [-]
No, I'm seeing one of the "3".
User avatar #338844 - princessren (11/18/2014) [-]
is it bad that I have an iphone if it is an iphone 4 with an R2D2 cover
User avatar #338852 - Totaler (11/18/2014) [-]
No that's amusing.
User avatar #338853 - princessren (11/18/2014) [-]
...in a good way?
User avatar #339317 - aherorising (11/19/2014) [-]
you really shouldn't care that much about something as small and insignificant as a phone case.
User avatar #339318 - princessren (11/19/2014) [-]
I was just wondering if all iphones = bad
User avatar #339320 - aherorising (11/19/2014) [-]
Nah. The Iphone in general is still a very decent device, capable of doing everything you realistically would expect a smartphone to be capable of. The hate is rather aimed towards people who feel better for having an expensive brand device, while knowing nothing about it.
I won't hate someone who claims iphone to be better when he/she can give solid arguments and knows his way around the market, nor will I be angry at someone who is simply happy with his phone the way it is. But I will dislike someone who's never dared to touch another brand claiming the iphone is better than all others because it can do something useless/extremely specific.
I do commend the brand for it's simplicity though. As the interface is clear, and simplistic, I'd advice an iphone or ipad to any elder with little experience with technology (including my mom, dad, and grandpa). I personally prefer more customization and tweaking with my device, though.
User avatar #338858 - Totaler (11/18/2014) [-]
Yes.
#333992 - Comment deleted 11/05/2014 on Hating - file complaints,... 0
#71 - Of course the Quebeceur is a dramatic pussy.  [+] (1 new reply) 10/22/2014 on Miracle Doctor cures... 0
User avatar #73 - jokexplain (10/22/2014) [-]
he's spanish

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Comments(541):

[ 541 comments ]

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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #648 - lissiexoxobear (05/20/2013) [-]
what do you want for the demonic arm?
User avatar #649 to #648 - Totaler (05/20/2013) [-]
Right now I need 500 Tokens and Cucumbers.

But I'll pretty much take whatever you want to sell because I don't want the Doll parts.
User avatar #650 to #649 - lissiexoxobear (05/20/2013) [-]
how many 500 tokens?
User avatar #651 to #650 - Totaler (05/20/2013) [-]
I only need 10, but send whatever you want. Like I said I'll pretty much accept anything for them.
User avatar #654 to #651 - lissiexoxobear (05/20/2013) [-]
thank you =3
User avatar #655 to #654 - Totaler (05/20/2013) [-]
No problem. :3
#646 - ldottvssm (05/20/2013) [-]
here ya go sir! and thank you very much
User avatar #647 to #646 - Totaler (05/20/2013) [-]
Thanks! And Welcome.
User avatar #640 - laspussy (05/20/2013) [-]
what else does the dragon need?
User avatar #641 to #640 - Totaler (05/20/2013) [-]
That one actually only needs Cabbage.

What the others need is in their description (which is on my profile).
User avatar #642 to #641 - laspussy (05/20/2013) [-]
oh wow, it does...sadly I don't think i'll be able to help out too much :/
User avatar #643 to #642 - Totaler (05/20/2013) [-]
That's alright! Thanks anyways.
User avatar #644 to #643 - laspussy (05/20/2013) [-]
cabbages are rare D:
User avatar #645 to #644 - Totaler (05/20/2013) [-]
Somewhat.
User avatar #639 to #638 - Totaler (05/19/2013) [-]
Thanks!
#622 - mygems (05/17/2013) [-]
500's done well
User avatar #623 to #622 - Totaler (05/17/2013) [-]
Thanks man.
User avatar #621 to #620 - Totaler (05/16/2013) [-]
Gracias.
#617 - MrMysteriousMagic has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #618 to #617 - Totaler (05/15/2013) [-]
I'm actually hoarding them to make a trade with someone else, sorry. :/
#619 to #618 - MrMysteriousMagic has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #615 - AreYouBlessed (05/15/2013) [-]
Thank you
User avatar #616 to #615 - Totaler (05/15/2013) [-]
Welcome!
User avatar #611 - nevermentioned (05/13/2013) [-]
How much for the pride egg?
User avatar #613 to #611 - Totaler (05/13/2013) [-]
Would you be willing to change the Slendermen in the offer? As you can see, I have a surplus.
User avatar #614 to #613 - nevermentioned (05/13/2013) [-]
Yeah I can. Sorry I went to sleep.
User avatar #612 to #611 - Totaler (05/13/2013) [-]
I have no idea what they go for, because I just came back yesterday, and someone gifted me 4 eggs.
#608 - Womens Study Major (12/17/2012) [-]
I just looked around 100 pages backwards in the hating board and saw some posts you made.

I got a feel
User avatar #609 to #608 - biofatso (12/17/2012) [-]
whoops
this is my account
User avatar #610 to #609 - Totaler (01/06/2013) [-]
Thanks for the message. :P
User avatar #607 - Izen (11/25/2012) [-]
I dont know you...but ill miss you
#606 - thats **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#604 - xxalphaomegaxx **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#599 - pizzaplanet (11/15/2012) [-]
Just wanted to say thanks for accepting all my trades, made my day and doubled my bank!
User avatar #600 to #599 - Totaler (11/15/2012) [-]
No problem. :)
#597 - trollistrollinderp **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #598 to #597 - Totaler (11/15/2012) [-]
Welcome bro. :)
User avatar #595 - magikarpforlife (11/15/2012) [-]
thanks man
User avatar #596 to #595 - Totaler (11/15/2012) [-]
No problem.
User avatar #594 - sacredmatrix (11/15/2012) [-]
Thank you very much.
User avatar #585 - itemguy (11/15/2012) [-]
wHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR THE GOLD GOBLIN OR FRANK TORSO? i REALLY WANTED BOTH i'LL TRADE ANYTHING!
User avatar #591 to #585 - Totaler (11/15/2012) [-]
The Frank Torso is still there.
User avatar #588 to #585 - Totaler (11/15/2012) [-]
I'm giving stuff away, unfortunately, they go very fast.
User avatar #583 - theplazaknight (11/15/2012) [-]
Can I have your presidents? :)
User avatar #584 to #583 - Totaler (11/15/2012) [-]
I just gave away a ******** of them, so send a request if any are left.
User avatar #581 - iluvhalo (11/15/2012) [-]
thanks for the frogs
User avatar #582 to #581 - Totaler (11/15/2012) [-]
No problem.
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