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Totaler Avatar Level 310 Comments: Wizard
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Gender: male
Date Signed Up:2/19/2010
Last Login:10/22/2014
Location:Canada
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Comment Ranking:#16251
Highest Content Rank:#398
Highest Comment Rank:#182
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Comment Thumbs: 11062 total,  13416 ,  2354
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Level 213 Content: Comedic Genius → Level 214 Content: Comedic Genius
Comment Level Progress: 10.6% (53/500)
Level 310 Comments: Wizard → Level 311 Comments: Wizard
Subscribers:16
Content Views:146863
Times Content Favorited:1065 times
Total Comments Made:8508
FJ Points:775
Favorite Tags: facebook (9) | Pokemon (9) | funny (8) | Bieber (7) | fail (7) | meme (7) | win (6) | DnD (5) | Hockey (5) | quotes (5) | comments (4) | girls (4) | highschool (4) | jersey shore (4) | justin (4) | shit (4) | Awesome (3) | awkward (3) | Emo (3) | graphs (3)
I am leaving, if you wish to reach me, search the same name on deviantART.

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    Awesome vs Awkward Awesome vs Awkward
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    Clean vs Foul Clean vs Foul
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    Awesome vs Awkward 2 Awesome vs Awkward 2
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    Ryan at His Best Ryan at His Best
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sketches

latest user's comments

#71 - Of course the Quebeceur is a dramatic pussy.  [+] (1 new reply) 13 hours ago on Miracle Doctor cures... 0
User avatar #73 - jokexplain (12 hours ago) [-]
he's spanish
#325258 - And my favourite thing? She's a country girl. You're just a cu…  [+] (1 new reply) 10/11/2014 on Hating - file complaints,... 0
User avatar #325296 - adunsaveme (10/11/2014) [-]
what
#325256 - I...I need to go change my pants... 10/11/2014 on Hating - file complaints,... 0
#325255 - For one thing, her nose does not have its own ******* …  [+] (2 new replies) 10/11/2014 on Hating - file complaints,... 0
User avatar #325258 - Totaler (10/11/2014) [-]
And my favourite thing? She's a country girl. You're just a cunt. So instead of having to listen to shitty little "boy" bands like One Direction or whoever the fuck else Simon Cowell can throw together, when I spend time with her I get to hear ACTUAL music, it's a nice change. On that note, we had one of those "oh my God, no way!" moments about what song we want as a wedding song when I Don't Dance by Lee Brice came on, and I said it was going to be my wedding song, no matter what my wife said, and she said that she said the same thing when she heard it.

At least I know if this goes anywhere long term, we won't have to fight over that.

And here's my favourite part, I somehow managed to go through high school without ever having my first kiss. And you knew that, and played to that. You message me one day during my first year going "I've been thinking about it, and I'd like to be your first kiss". Or whatever the fuck you said. Something stupid like that. And then you teased me with it until I said "fuck it" and gave up. So she beat you to that too, bitch.

It's sad, that I am sitting here, bragging about this. But holy fuck, it feels good to be able to tell you to go suck on an anus, and have a thorough explanation as to why I am doing so.

So fuck you, you miserable cunt. Actually being happy, is more fun than I could ever fucking have with you.
User avatar #325296 - adunsaveme (10/11/2014) [-]
what
#325245 - Well, there. Be happy. You're rid of my love, and attention. T…  [+] (14 new replies) 10/11/2014 on Hating - file complaints,... 0
User avatar #325255 - Totaler (10/11/2014) [-]
For one thing, her nose does not have its own fucking zip code. Seriously, your nose is the only thing bigger than your fucking ego. But what is bigger of hers, yeah. She isn't on the A-Team there hunny, or the B or C teams either. I mean really, how does it feel to be unable to fill a bikini at 19? Of course though, I guess a small chest could be explained by your tiny heart. I don't even care about chest size, I just want to rub that in. Remember that time you got a mosquito bite and almost needed to add a third cup to your bra? Mind you, they grow some big mosquitoes at your trailer park up on Lake Noonegivesafuck.

And the eyes, oh man, I thought your eyes would kill me. If you wanted something, on came the puppy eyes and pouty face and my heart melted. Guess what? She does it better. Beat at your own fucking game, bitch. And to boot, she doesn't use it to get anything, just when I'm being "mean" or not saying something. She's cuter, AND nicer about it. Wow, that's a double-dose of "thank fuck I found someone else".

And talking about being nicer, her response to possibly hurting me when I was already sore was to literally try and give me a back massage, as opposed to, well "you deserved it". She may not have a bright future as a masseuse, but hey, it was nice of her to try. In contrast to you being the sole reason a six-week injury stuck around for a year, (an injury that happened because of you, nonetheless).

TBC.
User avatar #325258 - Totaler (10/11/2014) [-]
And my favourite thing? She's a country girl. You're just a cunt. So instead of having to listen to shitty little "boy" bands like One Direction or whoever the fuck else Simon Cowell can throw together, when I spend time with her I get to hear ACTUAL music, it's a nice change. On that note, we had one of those "oh my God, no way!" moments about what song we want as a wedding song when I Don't Dance by Lee Brice came on, and I said it was going to be my wedding song, no matter what my wife said, and she said that she said the same thing when she heard it.

At least I know if this goes anywhere long term, we won't have to fight over that.

And here's my favourite part, I somehow managed to go through high school without ever having my first kiss. And you knew that, and played to that. You message me one day during my first year going "I've been thinking about it, and I'd like to be your first kiss". Or whatever the fuck you said. Something stupid like that. And then you teased me with it until I said "fuck it" and gave up. So she beat you to that too, bitch.

It's sad, that I am sitting here, bragging about this. But holy fuck, it feels good to be able to tell you to go suck on an anus, and have a thorough explanation as to why I am doing so.

So fuck you, you miserable cunt. Actually being happy, is more fun than I could ever fucking have with you.
User avatar #325296 - adunsaveme (10/11/2014) [-]
what
#325250 - leonhardt (10/11/2014) [-]
Bitch ain't no one prettier than I, Leonhardt!
#325326 - finblob (10/11/2014) [-]
hehe
User avatar #325297 - adunsaveme (10/11/2014) [-]
pls no cowlicks
#325277 - xxxsonic fanxxx (10/11/2014) [-]
You look like you'll make for a kindly old father one day.
User avatar #325367 - dumerveil (10/11/2014) [-]
>leonhardt
>kind
But I do agree. I'm conflicted cause he looks like a jolly guy.
User avatar #325264 - dalokan (10/11/2014) [-]
Hey where's fix it felix ralph
#325262 - thebestpieever (10/11/2014) [-]
Michaels are always attractive.
User avatar #325256 - Totaler (10/11/2014) [-]
I...I need to go change my pants...
User avatar #325254 - alexanderburns (10/11/2014) [-]
do me now
User avatar #325252 - majormayor (10/11/2014) [-]
You look kinda weird.
User avatar #325253 - leonhardt (10/11/2014) [-]
I get that
#312855 - And after bitching at me for saying things, she decided to win…  [+] (1 new reply) 08/28/2014 on Hating - file complaints,... +2
User avatar #312917 - bladeboy (08/28/2014) [-]
Awwwwwwwwww yea, totaler rants. Always good to see these little bastards pop up once and a while.
#312849 - And speaking of beating people over the head with books, relig…  [+] (2 new replies) 08/28/2014 on Hating - file complaints,... 0
User avatar #312855 - Totaler (08/28/2014) [-]
And after bitching at me for saying things, she decided to wine about how bad I am at playing pool, and how she hated going after me because I left the cue ball in bad places. I'm sorry that the six times in my life I've played pool haven't provided me with the expertise to leave the ball in the most convenient location for you. I'm sorry the ball I randomly poked with a giant fucking stick took a bad bounce for you after I missed the ball I was aiming for by four fucking feet. Let's go play road hockey so I can yell at you every time you pass the ball to the wrong team, or lay down because your fat ass can't fucking run.

Jesus Christ it's a fucking game of pool in your basement, and you're the one who invited me to your house to begin with, if you don't want me to come be bad at rich bitch sports, don't invite me to your fucking house.
User avatar #312917 - bladeboy (08/28/2014) [-]
Awwwwwwwwww yea, totaler rants. Always good to see these little bastards pop up once and a while.
#312841 - Which leads me to a third topic, people who don't understand g…  [+] (3 new replies) 08/28/2014 on Hating - file complaints,... +2
User avatar #312849 - Totaler (08/28/2014) [-]
And speaking of beating people over the head with books, religion! There are two types of people who practice religions; normal people, and oppressive cunts. If you've never told someone that they need to find God, never flown a plane into a building for your deity, or never killed someone because they worship a different magic sky man than you, then you're fucking safe. I don't care if you have a shrine to the Pope in every room of your house, if you don't try to force others to do the same, you're fucking chill. A bit of a fucking whackjob, but a chill whackjob.

My friend pulled out her antique, gold-plated, Texas-sized Bible today, and when I commented "holy crap, if you hit someone with that, you'd kill them!" She took it as an insult to the religion. Because I said that hitting someone with the giant, metal plated book would fucking knock their brain into their anal cavity. She bitched for an hour that I insulted the Bible. No. I did not. I don't care if it's a gold-plated, 60lb copy of The Adventures of Roger Rabbit, you drill someone on the head with it, they're fucking dead. This was just one of the things she picked the shit out of me for. Another being the fact that I swore.

People swear, we're adults, fucking get over it. I dropped something I was doing and said "aw fuck" because I had just got it set up. And she goes "you swear for the most unnecessary reasons, I'm not trying to change you or anything Mike, I'm just saying."

Yes, I swear. Because I'm a goddamn angry bastard who's lived a fucking miserable life in low-income Canada, being treated like shit by even my closest friends for the majority of it. I'm a grouchy asshole because all I've ever dealt with is miserable cunts. I'm sorry that my family can't afford a gold-plated murder weapon to bash me over the head with until I'm oblivious to the things going on around me.

TBC
User avatar #312855 - Totaler (08/28/2014) [-]
And after bitching at me for saying things, she decided to wine about how bad I am at playing pool, and how she hated going after me because I left the cue ball in bad places. I'm sorry that the six times in my life I've played pool haven't provided me with the expertise to leave the ball in the most convenient location for you. I'm sorry the ball I randomly poked with a giant fucking stick took a bad bounce for you after I missed the ball I was aiming for by four fucking feet. Let's go play road hockey so I can yell at you every time you pass the ball to the wrong team, or lay down because your fat ass can't fucking run.

Jesus Christ it's a fucking game of pool in your basement, and you're the one who invited me to your house to begin with, if you don't want me to come be bad at rich bitch sports, don't invite me to your fucking house.
User avatar #312917 - bladeboy (08/28/2014) [-]
Awwwwwwwwww yea, totaler rants. Always good to see these little bastards pop up once and a while.
#312834 - Next up, Ebola. People lost their **** when infec…  [+] (4 new replies) 08/28/2014 on Hating - file complaints,... +5
User avatar #312841 - Totaler (08/28/2014) [-]
Which leads me to a third topic, people who don't understand geography. You're fucking stupid. Not even climates and shit. I'm talking about the dumb cunts who look at a map and can't name shit. If you look at a map of Europe and don't know that the fucking giant country that takes up half of the map is Russia, you're probably fucking retarded. I'm not saying you need to be able to name every fucking country down to fucking Kiribati, but you really ought to fucking know a few. For fuck's sake new countries don't form that often, look at a map every few years and you're fucking good to go. If you're asking what state Canada is in, I will shove an atlas into your fucking large intestine. If you think the capital of Europe is Poland, just fucking kill yourself (it's obviously France).

There is no fucking excuse for being ignorant to geography. It's not some complicated theory to figure out what the big floating island next to the Shire is, you just look at a fucking map and read the word "Australia". It's not that fucking complicated you goddamn dundernuts.

And if you can't read "Australia" then you're fucking stupid, too! If I can win an argument with you just by using a word that contains more than seven letters, I will beat you over the head with a goddamn dictionary, and then read you the thesaurus explaining that you are; stupid, idiotic, empty-headed, dumb, dopey, dense, moronic, simple, or just plain fucking retarded. There is no reason in today's society for someone of full mental capacity living in a first world country to be without a large vocabulary. It's pathetic if you can't spell pathetic, and embarrassing if you can't spell embarrassing. And it is definitely a problem if you think it's defiantly going to rain tomorrow.

TBC
User avatar #312849 - Totaler (08/28/2014) [-]
And speaking of beating people over the head with books, religion! There are two types of people who practice religions; normal people, and oppressive cunts. If you've never told someone that they need to find God, never flown a plane into a building for your deity, or never killed someone because they worship a different magic sky man than you, then you're fucking safe. I don't care if you have a shrine to the Pope in every room of your house, if you don't try to force others to do the same, you're fucking chill. A bit of a fucking whackjob, but a chill whackjob.

My friend pulled out her antique, gold-plated, Texas-sized Bible today, and when I commented "holy crap, if you hit someone with that, you'd kill them!" She took it as an insult to the religion. Because I said that hitting someone with the giant, metal plated book would fucking knock their brain into their anal cavity. She bitched for an hour that I insulted the Bible. No. I did not. I don't care if it's a gold-plated, 60lb copy of The Adventures of Roger Rabbit, you drill someone on the head with it, they're fucking dead. This was just one of the things she picked the shit out of me for. Another being the fact that I swore.

People swear, we're adults, fucking get over it. I dropped something I was doing and said "aw fuck" because I had just got it set up. And she goes "you swear for the most unnecessary reasons, I'm not trying to change you or anything Mike, I'm just saying."

Yes, I swear. Because I'm a goddamn angry bastard who's lived a fucking miserable life in low-income Canada, being treated like shit by even my closest friends for the majority of it. I'm a grouchy asshole because all I've ever dealt with is miserable cunts. I'm sorry that my family can't afford a gold-plated murder weapon to bash me over the head with until I'm oblivious to the things going on around me.

TBC
User avatar #312855 - Totaler (08/28/2014) [-]
And after bitching at me for saying things, she decided to wine about how bad I am at playing pool, and how she hated going after me because I left the cue ball in bad places. I'm sorry that the six times in my life I've played pool haven't provided me with the expertise to leave the ball in the most convenient location for you. I'm sorry the ball I randomly poked with a giant fucking stick took a bad bounce for you after I missed the ball I was aiming for by four fucking feet. Let's go play road hockey so I can yell at you every time you pass the ball to the wrong team, or lay down because your fat ass can't fucking run.

Jesus Christ it's a fucking game of pool in your basement, and you're the one who invited me to your house to begin with, if you don't want me to come be bad at rich bitch sports, don't invite me to your fucking house.
User avatar #312917 - bladeboy (08/28/2014) [-]
Awwwwwwwwww yea, totaler rants. Always good to see these little bastards pop up once and a while.
#312827 - Today's rant is the result of, well, everything ever pissing m…  [+] (5 new replies) 08/28/2014 on Hating - file complaints,... +1
User avatar #312834 - Totaler (08/28/2014) [-]
Next up, Ebola. People lost their shit when infected international workers started being evacuated to receive treatment. Both because "omg there bringing ebola to da us were all goin 2 die" and "why should they receive special treatment unlike all the locals?" Both of these arguments are forwarded by brainless cunts. Ebola is spread via contact with a patient's bodily fluids. For the first group, tell me, when the careworkers landed, how many of you went up and licked them? How many of you drove to Atlanta for the opportunity to rub their shit on your skin? None of you!? Oh my God no way! They're in fucking isolation units at one of the top medical facilities in the county, and this is a fairly fucking simple disease to not contract in this situation. Don't go give them a big "welcome home" hug or become blood brothers with them and you ought to be just fucking fine.

As for the second group, they're US (and British/Spanish) citizens. That means it is in the governments', and their organizations' interests to ensure their well being, and, to be brutally honest, they have a hell of a lot better treatment centre in Atlanta, London, or Madrid than they do in a third world country where over half of the population lives below the poverty line. And it would look pretty fucking bad on them if they didn't do it, because you want people in that line of work to know that they're going to be in good hands if things take a fucking turn South. Nobody is going to want to work for an organization who looks at someone who falls ill while on a mission and goes "well isn't that unfortunate, hope you enjoy your prolonged stay in Monrovia".

TBC
User avatar #312841 - Totaler (08/28/2014) [-]
Which leads me to a third topic, people who don't understand geography. You're fucking stupid. Not even climates and shit. I'm talking about the dumb cunts who look at a map and can't name shit. If you look at a map of Europe and don't know that the fucking giant country that takes up half of the map is Russia, you're probably fucking retarded. I'm not saying you need to be able to name every fucking country down to fucking Kiribati, but you really ought to fucking know a few. For fuck's sake new countries don't form that often, look at a map every few years and you're fucking good to go. If you're asking what state Canada is in, I will shove an atlas into your fucking large intestine. If you think the capital of Europe is Poland, just fucking kill yourself (it's obviously France).

There is no fucking excuse for being ignorant to geography. It's not some complicated theory to figure out what the big floating island next to the Shire is, you just look at a fucking map and read the word "Australia". It's not that fucking complicated you goddamn dundernuts.

And if you can't read "Australia" then you're fucking stupid, too! If I can win an argument with you just by using a word that contains more than seven letters, I will beat you over the head with a goddamn dictionary, and then read you the thesaurus explaining that you are; stupid, idiotic, empty-headed, dumb, dopey, dense, moronic, simple, or just plain fucking retarded. There is no reason in today's society for someone of full mental capacity living in a first world country to be without a large vocabulary. It's pathetic if you can't spell pathetic, and embarrassing if you can't spell embarrassing. And it is definitely a problem if you think it's defiantly going to rain tomorrow.

TBC
User avatar #312849 - Totaler (08/28/2014) [-]
And speaking of beating people over the head with books, religion! There are two types of people who practice religions; normal people, and oppressive cunts. If you've never told someone that they need to find God, never flown a plane into a building for your deity, or never killed someone because they worship a different magic sky man than you, then you're fucking safe. I don't care if you have a shrine to the Pope in every room of your house, if you don't try to force others to do the same, you're fucking chill. A bit of a fucking whackjob, but a chill whackjob.

My friend pulled out her antique, gold-plated, Texas-sized Bible today, and when I commented "holy crap, if you hit someone with that, you'd kill them!" She took it as an insult to the religion. Because I said that hitting someone with the giant, metal plated book would fucking knock their brain into their anal cavity. She bitched for an hour that I insulted the Bible. No. I did not. I don't care if it's a gold-plated, 60lb copy of The Adventures of Roger Rabbit, you drill someone on the head with it, they're fucking dead. This was just one of the things she picked the shit out of me for. Another being the fact that I swore.

People swear, we're adults, fucking get over it. I dropped something I was doing and said "aw fuck" because I had just got it set up. And she goes "you swear for the most unnecessary reasons, I'm not trying to change you or anything Mike, I'm just saying."

Yes, I swear. Because I'm a goddamn angry bastard who's lived a fucking miserable life in low-income Canada, being treated like shit by even my closest friends for the majority of it. I'm a grouchy asshole because all I've ever dealt with is miserable cunts. I'm sorry that my family can't afford a gold-plated murder weapon to bash me over the head with until I'm oblivious to the things going on around me.

TBC
User avatar #312855 - Totaler (08/28/2014) [-]
And after bitching at me for saying things, she decided to wine about how bad I am at playing pool, and how she hated going after me because I left the cue ball in bad places. I'm sorry that the six times in my life I've played pool haven't provided me with the expertise to leave the ball in the most convenient location for you. I'm sorry the ball I randomly poked with a giant fucking stick took a bad bounce for you after I missed the ball I was aiming for by four fucking feet. Let's go play road hockey so I can yell at you every time you pass the ball to the wrong team, or lay down because your fat ass can't fucking run.

Jesus Christ it's a fucking game of pool in your basement, and you're the one who invited me to your house to begin with, if you don't want me to come be bad at rich bitch sports, don't invite me to your fucking house.
User avatar #312917 - bladeboy (08/28/2014) [-]
Awwwwwwwwww yea, totaler rants. Always good to see these little bastards pop up once and a while.

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User avatar #648 - lissiexoxobear (05/20/2013) [-]
what do you want for the demonic arm?
User avatar #649 to #648 - Totaler (05/20/2013) [-]
Right now I need 500 Tokens and Cucumbers.

But I'll pretty much take whatever you want to sell because I don't want the Doll parts.
User avatar #650 to #649 - lissiexoxobear (05/20/2013) [-]
how many 500 tokens?
User avatar #651 to #650 - Totaler (05/20/2013) [-]
I only need 10, but send whatever you want. Like I said I'll pretty much accept anything for them.
User avatar #654 to #651 - lissiexoxobear (05/20/2013) [-]
thank you =3
User avatar #655 to #654 - Totaler (05/20/2013) [-]
No problem. :3
#646 - ldottvssm (05/20/2013) [-]
here ya go sir! and thank you very much
User avatar #647 to #646 - Totaler (05/20/2013) [-]
Thanks! And Welcome.
User avatar #640 - laspussy (05/20/2013) [-]
what else does the dragon need?
User avatar #641 to #640 - Totaler (05/20/2013) [-]
That one actually only needs Cabbage.

What the others need is in their description (which is on my profile).
User avatar #642 to #641 - laspussy (05/20/2013) [-]
oh wow, it does...sadly I don't think i'll be able to help out too much :/
User avatar #643 to #642 - Totaler (05/20/2013) [-]
That's alright! Thanks anyways.
User avatar #644 to #643 - laspussy (05/20/2013) [-]
cabbages are rare D:
User avatar #645 to #644 - Totaler (05/20/2013) [-]
Somewhat.
User avatar #639 to #638 - Totaler (05/19/2013) [-]
Thanks!
#622 - mygems (05/17/2013) [-]
500's done well
User avatar #623 to #622 - Totaler (05/17/2013) [-]
Thanks man.
User avatar #621 to #620 - Totaler (05/16/2013) [-]
Gracias.
#617 - MrMysteriousMagic has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #618 to #617 - Totaler (05/15/2013) [-]
I'm actually hoarding them to make a trade with someone else, sorry. :/
#619 to #618 - MrMysteriousMagic has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #615 - AreYouBlessed (05/15/2013) [-]
Thank you
User avatar #616 to #615 - Totaler (05/15/2013) [-]
Welcome!
User avatar #611 - nevermentioned (05/13/2013) [-]
How much for the pride egg?
User avatar #613 to #611 - Totaler (05/13/2013) [-]
Would you be willing to change the Slendermen in the offer? As you can see, I have a surplus.
User avatar #614 to #613 - nevermentioned (05/13/2013) [-]
Yeah I can. Sorry I went to sleep.
User avatar #612 to #611 - Totaler (05/13/2013) [-]
I have no idea what they go for, because I just came back yesterday, and someone gifted me 4 eggs.
#608 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/17/2012) [-]
I just looked around 100 pages backwards in the hating board and saw some posts you made.

I got a feel
User avatar #609 to #608 - biofatso (12/17/2012) [-]
whoops
this is my account
User avatar #610 to #609 - Totaler (01/06/2013) [-]
Thanks for the message. :P
User avatar #607 - Izen ONLINE (11/25/2012) [-]
I dont know you...but ill miss you
#606 - thats **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#604 - xxalphaomegaxx **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#599 - pizzaplanet (11/15/2012) [-]
Just wanted to say thanks for accepting all my trades, made my day and doubled my bank!
User avatar #600 to #599 - Totaler (11/15/2012) [-]
No problem. :)
#597 - trollistrollinderp **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #598 to #597 - Totaler (11/15/2012) [-]
Welcome bro. :)
User avatar #595 - magikarpforlife (11/15/2012) [-]
thanks man
User avatar #596 to #595 - Totaler (11/15/2012) [-]
No problem.
User avatar #594 - sacredmatrix (11/15/2012) [-]
Thank you very much.
User avatar #585 - itemguy (11/15/2012) [-]
wHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR THE GOLD GOBLIN OR FRANK TORSO? i REALLY WANTED BOTH i'LL TRADE ANYTHING!
User avatar #591 to #585 - Totaler (11/15/2012) [-]
The Frank Torso is still there.
User avatar #588 to #585 - Totaler (11/15/2012) [-]
I'm giving stuff away, unfortunately, they go very fast.
User avatar #583 - theplazaknight (11/15/2012) [-]
Can I have your presidents? :)
User avatar #584 to #583 - Totaler (11/15/2012) [-]
I just gave away a ******** of them, so send a request if any are left.
User avatar #581 - iluvhalo (11/15/2012) [-]
thanks for the frogs
User avatar #582 to #581 - Totaler (11/15/2012) [-]
No problem.
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