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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #1542 to #1521 - SyntaxError (09/03/2012) [-]
That's not how the breakup works, but that poem works.

Anyway, shoot.
User avatar #1543 to #1542 - xblthatguy (09/03/2012) [-]
I know, it just came to me. :P

I'm making poems with a Greek theme, mainly referring to Greek concepts and gods, can you help me out a bit?
User avatar #1546 to #1545 - SyntaxError (09/03/2012) [-]
Well, how do I help?
#1547 to #1546 - xblthatguy (09/03/2012) [-]
Well, any ideas, criticisms, stuff like that!
Well, any ideas, criticisms, stuff like that!
User avatar #1548 to #1547 - SyntaxError (09/03/2012) [-]
First things first: Greeks were identical to you. They wrote poems about the same things. They're drop the afterlife at the same frequency that you would.

Above all, if you want to make ancient Greek-themed poetry, you need to be an ancient Greek. You seem to be forcing yourself to use rudimentary Greek concepts.
User avatar #1549 to #1548 - xblthatguy (09/03/2012) [-]
Okie dokie.

Ancient Greek? The first poem was kinda just an experimental one. The second one was inspired, I've always loved the concept of Eudaimonia.
User avatar #1550 to #1549 - SyntaxError (09/03/2012) [-]
Close enough :P

Anyways, I'll probably go to bed. See you later.
User avatar #1551 to #1550 - xblthatguy (09/03/2012) [-]
Speak to you later Syntax! ^_^

Smile, you're wonderful!
User avatar #1523 to #1522 - xblthatguy (09/01/2012) [-]
Hiya Syntax, how are you?
User avatar #1524 to #1523 - SyntaxError (09/02/2012) [-]
I'm cool. In a little dilemma.
User avatar #1525 to #1524 - xblthatguy (09/02/2012) [-]
What happen? D:
User avatar #1526 to #1525 - SyntaxError (09/02/2012) [-]
It's this story I'm writing.
It's a really weird dilemma.
There's this lesbian character in this story, and I want to cut her out of it because I don't want to look like she's shoehorned in to put some "sex scenes" or something, but she's a genuinely useful character, and naturally, there are a lot of lesbians and bisexuals in the real world, so it logically makes sense.

I didn't think I'd have such stupid conflicts as a writer.
User avatar #1527 to #1526 - xblthatguy (09/02/2012) [-]
Doesn't seem that silly to me. It's a genuine concern, and I understand actually. :P
User avatar #1528 to #1527 - SyntaxError (09/02/2012) [-]
Well, what would you do?

Does it make sense to pair her with the main character?
Does it make sense to pair them in college? (I hate this stereotype of "experimental college girl", but that's where it is)
User avatar #1529 to #1528 - xblthatguy (09/02/2012) [-]
Well, how much of an impact does it have on the story? How do you want the story to end?
User avatar #1530 to #1529 - SyntaxError (09/02/2012) [-]
Absolutely none. They break up before the story really takes off.
User avatar #1531 to #1530 - xblthatguy (09/02/2012) [-]
D:

Hmm... That's a tough one...
User avatar #1532 to #1531 - SyntaxError (09/02/2012) [-]
Well, here's something to help. There's a pretty elaborate sex scene pretty early on, and that exact moment is the one that feels shoehorned, but the problem is, if I make them "hold hands sexually"... that's simply not how lesbians work. College lesbians have sex after a while, you know?
User avatar #1533 to #1532 - xblthatguy (09/02/2012) [-]
I'd say try for the pairing with the main character.
User avatar #1535 to #1534 - xblthatguy (09/02/2012) [-]
Well, you said it wouldn't have much impact on the overall story right? Since they break up before the story really takes off, I think it'd kinda mesh in with what you're going for.
User avatar #1536 to #1535 - SyntaxError (09/02/2012) [-]
Well, that makes sense. I just don't want people to leave thinking that's what the story actually is :P
User avatar #1537 to #1536 - xblthatguy (09/02/2012) [-]
Yeah, I can see the problem there, but you can pull it off. :3
User avatar #1538 to #1537 - SyntaxError (09/03/2012) [-]
What makes you so sure?

How would you approach it?
User avatar #1539 to #1538 - xblthatguy (09/03/2012) [-]
Because you and Quixote are excellent at your craft. :3

I dunno, I'm a poet, not a writer. :P
User avatar #1540 to #1539 - SyntaxError (09/03/2012) [-]
1. How do you know that?

2. Not exclusive. How would you approach this in a poem?

I'm not trying to be demanding or anything, I'm just wondering what you think.
User avatar #1541 to #1540 - xblthatguy (09/03/2012) [-]
I can tell, it's from how you type, you just have something about you in that I think you'd be a good writer.

A poem wouldn't be as descriptive, but it would follow along the same lines. Here's something I kinda just thought of on the spot. About the breakup part:

I thought I loved her, with all my heart
And I would love to hold her hand
The same one that I used to pull flowers apart.
But, then reality takes back command.
So now, life goes on for me
Goodbye, my lovely.

Oh please, you're not. I understand. :3

Actually, can you help me with something?
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