Rank #7198 on CommentsLevel 239 Comments: Ambassador Of Lulz
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|Last status update:|| |
|Date Signed Up:||3/31/2010|
|FunnyJunk Career Stats|
|Highest Content Rank:||#2584|
|Highest Comment Rank:||#2522|
|Content Thumbs:||1827 total, 2901 , 1074|
|Comment Thumbs:||4451 total, 4782 , 331|
|Content Level Progress:|| 26% (26/100) |
Level 118 Content: Funny Junkie → Level 119 Content: Funny Junkie
|Comment Level Progress:|| 50% (50/100) |
Level 239 Comments: Ambassador Of Lulz → Level 240 Comments: Doinitrite
|Times Content Favorited:||54 times|
|Total Comments Made:||959|
|Favorite Tags:||thumb (2) | thumbs (2)|
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- Views: 1967Essay on the FunnyJunk community
24 12 Total: +12
- Views: 2341Bitches Love Pokemon
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- Views: 4575EFG Zombie Survival Kit
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5 9 Total: -4
latest user's comments
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#30 - anon (03/22/2016) [-]
At first I thought I was dreaming...
My hands shaking as the ak-47 brushed past my cheek.
I knew then almost for certain it was over for me as I heard laughter from the men accompanied by calls of "infidel".
Then suddenly...I heard what sounded like a bull moose... a mighty roar and then a tremendous explosion.
I winced as my captors turned around with the fury of 1000 frightened goats.
A lone tank bearing the symbol of a maple leaf crashing through the hole in the wall.
Roars of "allahu ackbar" were silenced when what looked like...a lumber jack popped out of the tank cover and threw an axe which cleanly embedded into the skull of the leader of my captors.
"I'M SORRY!!!" He bellowed as he swigged a drink of whisky....no....it was maple syrup...
My eyes began to water as I gazed upon the beauty of this mans beard...I knew I was safe now.
The terrorists began to panic...each man now frenzied and attacking the tank in a bullet storm.
The lumberjack hid back inside the hull as the terrorists began to halt fire in order to figure a plan of attack. I wiggled to a safer spot as my ropes slid across the room unnoticed.
Thank god I did for then another resounding crash was heard. A man riding upon a moose playing the trumpet careened into the backs of the remaining enemies accompanied by the mounties. Two men were slowly gored on his mighty antlers. I knew then that this was their general. Fearless, unwavering tenacity like that of a wolverine, a sword forged in flapjacks and quenched in the Canadian winter. A beard even more magnificent than the lumberjack before.
"SOOOOOOOOOOORRRY!!!!!!" He unleashed a roar as his battle cry inspired his men to join the fray. What was witnessed there can only be described in two colours. Red and white...red the colour of all the blood spilt that day and white as in the all purifying muzzle flashes from their rifles.
When all was said and done this small unit of five had taken the compound from 15 men.
I was saved. The men brought me on their convoy and offered me a drink of maple syrup.
It was that day I realised it wasn't they who were sorry...
It was me...
I was sorry...
#21 - betars (03/22/2016) [-]
"What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo."
#17 - anon (03/22/2016) [-]
I don't think gorilla warfare counts, especially with one's bear hands.
|#48 - "Dang it!" -Space Man||03/18/2016 on Classic Quotes||+1|
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