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ButtonFly

Last status update:
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Personal Info
Gender: female
Age: 22
Date Signed Up:5/25/2009
Location:New York
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#3229
Highest Content Rank:#1546
Highest Comment Rank:#411
Content Thumbs: 3648 total,  4281 ,  633
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Content Level Progress: 39% (39/100)
Level 130 Content: Respected Member Of Famiry → Level 131 Content: Respected Member Of Famiry
Comment Level Progress: 68.4% (684/1000)
Level 324 Comments: Covered In Thumbs → Level 325 Comments: Covered In Thumbs
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Content Views:213406
Times Content Favorited:233 times
Total Comments Made:7119
FJ Points:28163
Favorite Tags: are (10) | monsters (10) | to (10) | me (8) | help (7) | trying (7) | my (5) | kill (4) | the (4) | eat (3) | Good (3) | pants (3) | ate (2) | Cookie (2) | for (2) | lol (2) | monster (2) | name (2) | up (2)
Once, on a dark day, late October, people huddled in their basements dreading that the end of the world was descending upon them that very day. Little did they know, that on that very day, a small baby was born, it was the birth of the end of the world.

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Total unique items point value: 1050 / Total items point value: 1100

Comments(192):

[ 192 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#30 - ButtonFly ONLINE (04/11/2013) [+] (120 replies)
stickied
Nightmare gif dump
Nightmare gif dump
User avatar #214 - ButtonFly ONLINE (06/18/2015) [-]
raverr
You asked me to mention you the next time I upload the video. I've uploaded two since then. The first time I was out of state in an unfurnished house and I was lucky to just get a video up on YouTube, let alone tell anyone that I did.
Then second one, I uploaded just now.
Mystery Illness is called PANDAS Contest
Mystery Illness is Called PANDAS - Pouring a Drink with Twitches
User avatar #216 to #214 - ass ONLINE (06/25/2015) [-]
I has question Buttonfly, why does the dec in the previous two vids say fourteenth vid and fifteenth vid while the last vid, which should be sixteenth, is twelfth?

Pretty sure its a mistake. just letting you know.

I hope you get better, I am rooting for you so hard u dont even know
#211 - Rascal (06/15/2015) [-]
Hello. It's the anon that wrote you the Channing Tatum/Ruby love story. I was just checking in to see how you are feeling/doing.
Hello. It's the anon that wrote you the Channing Tatum/Ruby love story. I was just checking in to see how you are feeling/doing.
User avatar #213 to #211 - ButtonFly ONLINE (06/18/2015) [-]
Hello you creative writer, you.
I'm sorry I didn't write back to you sooner. I noticed you tried to get in contact with me a couple of times but I was recently started on a new medicine that should have helped me but ultimately knocked me completely flat on my back and I haven't had the energy to stay on the computer long enough to write out a reply.

I really appreciate you checking up on me. There have been no improvements thus far but we're starting some new, wacky things that I hope will yield results in the near future. Luckily, this treatment is far gentler than the drugs.
#215 to #213 - Rascal (06/23/2015) [-]
That's too bad things haven't been going well for you. I'm sorry to hear that. I wish you had better news to share, but I hope at least that being " flat on [your] back" means you got some sleep? Fingers crossed! I hope you got some sleep. That would be a silver lining I suppose.

Don't worry about how long it took you to reply. I know it's hard for you to type, and you've got a lot of other stuff going on. I'm glad you appreciated the thought anyway. I really just wanted to check in and give you what little support I could here from internet-land!

So, good luck with everything. I'm sure you hear this a lot, but keep your chin up. Try to stay positive. I'll message you back on your profile from time to time to see how you are and b/s and whatnot, cool? My name is Ryan by the way. I'm an anon so rather than explain who I am every time I comment I'll sign off with my name so you know. Like this...

-Ryan
#210 - musafa (06/14/2015) [-]
So have there been any minor/major improvements since your last youtube video?
User avatar #212 to #210 - ButtonFly ONLINE (06/18/2015) [-]
Deepest apologies, I haven't been on. I was given a new drug that was supposed to help but ultimately didn't agree with me. Needless to say, I've ceased taking it but it took me a long while to get through the side effects.

Unfortunately, I'm still the same. We are experimenting with some pretty wacky stuff that I do hope will yield results in the near future.
I really appreciate that you decided to check up on me.
User avatar #202 - admin (06/02/2015) [-]
so i have to ask

do people make michael j fox jokes around you?
User avatar #203 to #202 - ButtonFly ONLINE (06/02/2015) [-]
Yes, they have.
If there's a joke about twitching then I've probably heard it, Michael J Fox references included. They far from bother me; I made a few Michael J Fox jokes myself.
User avatar #204 to #203 - admin (06/02/2015) [-]
ha

if you don't mind me asking, do you think having strep caused brain damage which helped cause your condition?

User avatar #205 to #204 - ButtonFly ONLINE (06/02/2015) [-]
Well there's no real theory to how it's all caused yet. Most doctors often presume PANDAS is completely made up.
PANDAS can be caused by more than just strep. I actually first got it through pneumonia. Specialists liken the phenomena to Rheumatic Fever, an autoimmune disorder triggered by strep throat infections as well as other things.
In every bacterial infection, the body produces antibodies against the invading bacteria, and the antibodies help eliminate the bacteria from the body. However in Rheumatic Fever, the antibodies mistakenly recognize and "attack" the heart valves, joints, and/or certain parts of the brain.
The same happens in PANDAS, the antibodies get confused and attack the wrong parts of the body. Most cases of PANDAS happen overnight. I went to sleep one day and the next, I woke up and started twitching. By the next day the twitching had spread and was far more noticeable, the day following that I got ataxia which is losing the ability to walk and of course, right after that, I was put in the hospital.
When I was mute, it was the vagus nerve that was being attacked. The vagus nerve moderates your heart rate, digestion, appetite and the ability to talk and vomit. It was a pretty important nerve to stop functioning properly but it's also why so many of my problems cleared up with the tonsillectomy.
The movements are a horse of a different color entirely and are obviously being stationed somewhere else. We can't pinpoint the specific area that is being attacked because if doctors want to properly monitor my brain, they have to knock me out which gets me to cease moving but if I were to get an MRI or whatever while conscious, the movements mess everything up and doctors can't read the results.
My case is somewhat unique in the sense that nearly all of my problems have physical manifestations. My cognitive abilities hardly suffered; even in my darkest hours I'm still able to function and string thoughts along as anyone normally would. In most cases of PANDAS, nearly all of the problems lead to cognitive problems; the Basal Ganglia is probably one of the more common regions to be attacked by antibodies which deteriorates mood, behavior, the person affected can develop OCD, ADHD and severe anxiety problems. I do have many of the issues listed but to a lighter degree and none are my primary concern.

In a way, yes, strep, as well as other diseases and infections, develops the antibodies which attack certain areas of the brain as well as nerves however, it won't necessarily cause brain damage. Think of it more as the antibodies are pressing a button over and over again; it won't harm the button in anyway but whatever the button controls will be affected each time that button is pressed.
It's really just a matter of getting the rogue antibodies to stop pressing that button however, once that is found out, the affected person will be cured with no long term damages.
User avatar #206 to #205 - admin (06/03/2015) [-]
That was very interesting. Thanks.

Are you mad at the world or feel like any sort of victim over what happened to you? Meaning how do you feel emotionally about it?
User avatar #207 to #206 - ButtonFly ONLINE (06/03/2015) [-]
I've gone through a long range of emotions when it comes to my ordeal.
I've definitely felt mad. I don't think I've ever felt particularly victimized, maybe a bit more like "why me?"
I was always that annoying girl that had a plan for everything and nothing puts a damper on plans than being forced into a three year standstill. It hurt quite a bit to watch all of those plans fall through.
I think the thing that gave me the biggest emotional upheaval was those YouTube videos. People would always remark about how happy I looked in those videos and it soon became a huge stressor for me; "All these people are watching me, they can't ever know that I'm sad."
I became obsessed with the happiness of others and it wasn't particularly healthy. I would go out of my way to ensure that everyone always had a smile on their face and that whenever anyone saw me, I would have a smile on mine. At the same time, I would get messages around the world from people who've watched my videos saying "I'm scared, I'm depressed, I'm thinking of suicide, please help." I'd write to them, talk about their problems, about what they can do to perk themselves up or at least distract themselves but at the same time all that's ringing in my head is "I don't know, I just don't know."

I don't regret making those videos, not for a second. Those videos have helped a lot of people and even rescued a few kids from mental hospitals; that's a really good feeling to come with them. I made those videos so others wouldn't be sad and that they weren't alone, a notion I had for several years beforehand.
There's a big difference between feeling like the only person in the world who has this and then being the happy girl who helped this massive group of people who were just like here.
When I was alone, I was more openly upset about my ordeal. I didn't blame anyone, there wasn't anyone to blame. I was just dealt a very bad hand. When I started making those YouTube videos, this whole community came to light and while it was fantastic to no longer be alone, I felt like I could no longer be upset for fear of letting so many people down which took a huge mental and emotional toll on me.

I'm actually writing a book loosely based off my ordeal and at one point the main character is upset and wants out. I had another character explain to him "This wasn't prophesied and you're not the Chosen One. You're just another person who got dealt just another bad hand. There's nothing inherently special about you, no powers you were born with, no cosmic force dictating where you should go. You can give up now and the world will keep spinning just as it had long before you were even a possible speck on it.
"What makes everyone believe you are special, what makes you special are your actions. You could have lied down and do nothing. You could have just accepted this as fate and let it destroy you; so many others have done the same already. The world would keep spinning and you would have just been another face in the crowd.
"You're special because you decided to do something. You're special because you're paving the way for others in need. You're doing what no one else is doing because you made the conscious decision to do it, not because some prophecy told you to do so. You can give up now and more than likely, someone will pick up the slack for you; there are plenty of others--or, you can stick it out to the very end. Giving up will never change the world but pushing forward, no matter what's thrown at you, will change it and it can only change it for the better."

Clearly it still needs quite a bit of work but I wrote this little excerpt while I was in a bad mood and severely depressed. Somehow, looking at those words made me feel better. They're terribly cliche but they helped all the same.

And Admin, thank you for putting up my story for the rest of FunnyJunk to see. It meant a lot. The fact that so many people wanted to celebrate with me was amazing.
User avatar #208 to #207 - admin (06/03/2015) [-]
No problem. That's pretty strong of you not to be mad or blame the world. That's exact what I'd do if the same thing happened to me. I'd hate everyone probably.

You kinda remind me of this guy: www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbBszeUvsUc
User avatar #209 to #208 - ButtonFly ONLINE (06/04/2015) [-]
That's incredibly sweet, thank you. Watching that video made me smile the whole way through.

And as for getting mad at the world, there was nothing I could have done to make this a different outcome. There was no specific point in time that I can pinpoint and say "If this other thing had happened, I could have avoided everything else." There's no where to put the blame so focusing in on it will be useless.
I'm just going to be happy that after three years, I found something that helped instead of wishing that I could have avoided something I truly couldn't.
User avatar #201 - potatovillain (06/01/2015) [-]
You are now my inspirational person of the year.
#199 - catzor (06/01/2015) [-]
Hey.
I just wanted to say good job.
Your videos made me sad/happy for you.
They kinda encourage me.
I've been going through a hard time recently walk in the park compared to what you have though. and it really helped to see your videos.

Not sure why I comment here...
You just made me feel.
and it was a good feel.
and I wanted you to know.
So thank you so much, and I hope you'll get better soon
I have tears in my eyes now, and not the manly kind of tears, and I never cry cant cry, more or less.

but yeah... Thanks, and good job. C:
User avatar #200 to #199 - ButtonFly ONLINE (06/01/2015) [-]
I'm glad I managed to help you in some small way.
I hope that whatever it is you're going through passes and you come out magnificently on the other side.
Thank you for your kind words; they mean a lot to me.
#198 - garymotherfingoak (05/31/2015) [-]
I remember you way back when. I'm very glad that you've been improving and finding help, you've been doing a great job.
I remember you way back when. I'm very glad that you've been improving and finding help, you've been doing a great job.
#197 - alfonshister (05/31/2015) [-]
Oh wow   
   
Glad to see your situation is getting better   
   
Love your voice and in case  anyone says you're ugly i will tell them otherwise  dear god this is more homo than telling a guy he looks good    
   
However, Have an awesome day!
Oh wow

Glad to see your situation is getting better

Love your voice and in case anyone says you're ugly i will tell them otherwise dear god this is more homo than telling a guy he looks good

However, Have an awesome day!
User avatar #195 - ass ONLINE (05/31/2015) [-]
Thank you for inspiring me.
User avatar #194 - hankhillofthe ONLINE (05/31/2015) [-]
You're awesome.
User avatar #193 - garymotherfingoak (08/28/2014) [-]
Hey there, glad to see you're still around.
User avatar #191 - mudkipfucker (02/27/2014) [-]
So it was. thank you
#190 - Proximity (02/16/2014) [-]
Oh hey look I have some anime here
Oh hey look I have some anime here
#185 - cookiecoketwo has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #189 to #185 - arnolddusk (01/22/2014) [-]
sit hick boy
#182 - cookiecoketwo has deleted their comment [-]
#181 - cookiecoketwo has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #121 - ryanfitzy (05/24/2013) [-]
Sent you 99 dubz in Items, I need more 0s. Accept plz?
#111 - laspussy (05/17/2013) [-]
hey thar
hey thar
User avatar #100 - dragonicangel (04/21/2013) [-]
Well hello there.
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