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Aspirin    

Aspirin Avatar Level 272 Comments: Ninja Pirate
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Date Signed Up:9/08/2010
Last Login:11/27/2013
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Thumbs: 42 total,  52 ,  10
Comment Thumbs: 7199 total,  9171 ,  1972
Content Level Progress: 77.96% (46/59)
Level 0 Content: Untouched account → Level 1 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 0% (0/100)
Level 272 Comments: Ninja Pirate → Level 273 Comments: Ninja Pirate
Subscribers:0
Content Views:3676
Times Content Favorited:1 times
Total Comments Made:2849
FJ Points:7820
Oh, just your usual FunnyJunk user, who's in point of fact a tryhard scrub who tries very hard to post witty comments on everyone's content (and fails).

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latest user's comments

#17 - "Manuel Te Regarde" = "Manuel is watching you&q… 08/20/2013 on Grand Theft 4chan +1
#86 - Same question goes to you pal  [+] (2 new replies) 04/06/2013 on girls play with robots ... 0
User avatar #87 - kingrayne (04/06/2013) [-]
Pretty sure DJ 4DM1N made it so if you made your account pre-2011, your name is solid blue, and pre 2012 light blue
User avatar #92 - junkyjunkers (04/06/2013) [-]
i made my account three years ago..hope my name is in solid blue too
#37 - Member older than two years?  [+] (8 new replies) 04/06/2013 on :() :| :() :| :() :| :() :|... +1
User avatar #40 - buttlord (04/06/2013) [-]
it could be
User avatar #41 - Bradiboo (04/06/2013) [-]
Apparently orange is before items came along.
User avatar #44 - buttlord (04/06/2013) [-]
i was before they came along.
User avatar #47 - Bradiboo (04/06/2013) [-]
Well I don't know really all I know is that orange names are rare.
User avatar #48 - buttlord (04/06/2013) [-]
damn. i want colored text too. why do some people get all the good shit.
User avatar #49 - Bradiboo (04/06/2013) [-]
Colored text is get the most amount of thumbs on any of the major boards.
User avatar #50 - buttlord (04/06/2013) [-]
oh. to the boards i go
User avatar #80 - ganaloththedragon (04/06/2013) [-]
Welp I like my name color just how it is
#82 - Be reborn as a cyborg? Yes, yes please.  [+] (4 new replies) 04/06/2013 on girls play with robots ... 0
User avatar #85 - kingrayne (04/06/2013) [-]
why the hell is your name solid blue
User avatar #86 - Aspirin (04/06/2013) [-]
Same question goes to you pal
User avatar #87 - kingrayne (04/06/2013) [-]
Pretty sure DJ 4DM1N made it so if you made your account pre-2011, your name is solid blue, and pre 2012 light blue
User avatar #92 - junkyjunkers (04/06/2013) [-]
i made my account three years ago..hope my name is in solid blue too
#46 - ...equal to charge times field intensity? 04/06/2013 on There are two types of nerds 0
#32 - Rihanna -> Giraffa? 04/06/2013 on TWINS! +1
#31 - Comment deleted 04/06/2013 on TWINS! 0
#161 - You guys seem to know a lot about it. 04/06/2013 on Seems legit 0
#159 - I guess you can't make her ****** then. 04/06/2013 on Seems legit -2
#108 - What I still don't get is how the author still makes the story… 08/20/2012 on Take your pick, big or... 0

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#5 - robertsmash **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#6 to #5 - robertsmash **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
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User avatar #3 - badboywantsu (07/31/2011) [-]
i'll do that deal same as before but i lost everything on my computer so do tell me again.
User avatar #4 to #3 - Aspirin (07/31/2011) [-]
Okay, here it goes:

A rich, powerful, and very pious lord is packing his weapons and supplies for the Crusade.
As he is going, he installs on his wife a chastity belt: a device, usually made of leather, designed to prevent people from having sexual intercourse by blocking access to the ****** . However, this one is specifically made to not prevent intercourse, but PUNISH it, by the use of a built-in guillotine.
When the lord comes back from the Crusade, he orders every single man in the castle and on his lands, from the other nobles to the simple, poor peasant, to line up in the castle's courtyard and drop his pants. Much to his surprise, thinking he was surrounded by loyal men for all these years, everyone's PENIS was missing, due to the guillotine. Well, except for the blacksmith, who lost his due to an unfortunate accident a few years back... but let's not go into details.
As he is inspecting, he sees that someone's PENIS was intact, in pristine condition. It was a manservant, that has been assigned the low, degrading tasks of the castle, such as cleaning the toilet, for as long as anyone can remember.
The lord, very surprised, and glad, approaches the manservant and says to him: "Ah! Finally someone I can count on! I find it surprising that a simple manservant could be the only person who did not betray me! As a reward, you will be offered to marry my daughter, and become an officer in my army! Say, now, lad, what is your name? We've got some paperwork to do."
Astonished, the manservant does not answer, and looks at the lord pitifully.
The lord, impatient, asks nervously: "What? Did someone cut off your tongue or something?"
User avatar #1 - edzeppelin (04/05/2011) [-]
"I have a cunning plan!"
"Bawldrick...if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open he wouldn't find enough inside to cover a small water biscuit!"
User avatar #2 to #1 - Aspirin (04/06/2011) [-]
"Baldrick, your brain is as empty as an ******** underpants."
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