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Rank #2366 on Comments
APURPLEPYTHON Avatar Level 232 Comments: Ambassador Of Lulz
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Personal Info
Gender: male
Age: 23
Date Signed Up:7/21/2009
Last Login:8/21/2014
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#2366
Highest Content Rank:#1489
Highest Comment Rank:#1661
Content Thumbs: 1840 total,  2027 ,  187
Comment Thumbs: 3647 total,  4930 ,  1283
Content Level Progress: 65% (65/100)
Level 114 Content: Funny Junkie → Level 115 Content: Funny Junkie
Comment Level Progress: 68.99% (69/100)
Level 232 Comments: Ambassador Of Lulz → Level 233 Comments: Ambassador Of Lulz
Content Views:96528
Times Content Favorited:64 times
Total Comments Made:1817
FJ Points:3814

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funny pictures

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    Uploaded: 04/14/14
    Yolo Yolo
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funny gifs

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    Uploaded: 04/14/14
    Not Today Not Today
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    Yeah! Yeah!
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    Uploaded: 04/15/14
    Warm Weather? Warm Weather?

latest user's comments

#45 - Actually made me laugh. Thank you. 7 hours ago on I heatd you like this 0
#10 - Sounds like you hammered him. 08/19/2014 on Story time 0
#2 - When I was in highschool a 17 year old kid beat up my 15 year …  [+] (36 new replies) 08/19/2014 on Brothers +412
User avatar #93 - applecopy (08/20/2014) [-]
that was clever
#85 - thesoulseeker (08/20/2014) [-]
Hmm I didn't know you were browsing this site too, brother.
#86 - thesoulseeker (08/20/2014) [-]
My big bro beat the shit out of a bully for me. Though I would have been 10-11 and he 12-13 (my brother, bully was in my class) respectively.
User avatar #77 - psykobear (08/20/2014) [-]
Why does this comment get so many thumbs?
The fuck?
User avatar #50 - randomwanker (08/20/2014) [-]
when I was 16 I punched a 6 year old in the stomach because he spit on my sister shit was cash
User avatar #44 - StewieGGriffin (08/19/2014) [-]
Is that why you got fired as a teacher?
#8 - jamieswhiteshirt (08/19/2014) [-]
You beat the shit out of your own brother?
User avatar #101 - topoftherock (08/20/2014) [-]
actually loled. thank you
#95 - fffffffuuuuuuuuuuu (08/20/2014) [-]
That image and that comment, fucking hilarious
User avatar #11 - gustaforce (08/19/2014) [-]
who do you think was the 17 year old?
User avatar #14 - formidableguy (08/19/2014) [-]
his other brother
#36 - rokulda (08/19/2014) [-]
#4 - europe (08/19/2014) [-]
When I was in elementary three/four kids were often picking on me
Suddenly my eldest brother actually paid some attention to me. I think he just wanted an excuse to beat kids up
#45 - firesky (08/19/2014) [-]
They just make it seem like it.

When the little sister of my best friend came in the age for boyfriends he suddenly went to the fitness center and worked out. Officially to look better and get to know girls.
He did this till he started army service and therefor got a rifle...
User avatar #6 - trollchildxy (08/19/2014) [-]
Nah, its almost a paternal instinct. Big brother's don't much mind what you do so long as you leave them alone and stop being an annoying little prat. The moment someone else starts to give you shit though, they go "NOBODY PICKS ON LITTLE TIMMY BUT ME BITCH!"
#25 - lolzordz (08/19/2014) [-]
thats exactly what it is
User avatar #24 - Tusura (08/19/2014) [-]
This is so fucking accurate.

My older brother used to beat me up every day and pick on me mercilessly.
His friends decided to join in and he cold clocked the first one straight in the jaw with no warning.
"No one gets to mess with Greg but me" was his response, after the friend regained consciousness.

I usually left my brother alone, but one time walking home from school We went different directions as I was going home and he was going to a friends house I saw three dudes just following him and his friend.

I decided to follow them, and when they tried to jump my brother, I took my Calculus textbook and beat one of them over the back of the head knocking him out cold.

3v2 is not cool, so I evened the odds.
Neither of us were ever fucked with again by anyone other than each other.
#106 - badmonkey (08/20/2014) [-]
You fucked with each other?
User avatar #81 - hattheifbatman (08/20/2014) [-]
Those books are heavy
#27 - lolzordz (08/19/2014) [-]
is this from a book youre writing?
User avatar #30 - keltainenlumi (08/19/2014) [-]
It doesn't sound that unbelievable...
#34 - nahbro (08/19/2014) [-]
It could have been, aside from the "my brother knocked out his friend with one punch" and "i knocked the guy out with one hit with my textbook"

Knocking someone out is not as easy as TV shows and movies make it look.
User avatar #110 - Tusura (08/20/2014) [-]
You hit someone full force when they aren't expecting it, and you hit them square on the pressure point line, that person WILL get knocked out.

Also, the back of the head is one of the softest spots on the body, You take a 10+ pound textbook and smack someone unsuspecting over the head and see if it doesn't drop them to the floor, much less knock them out cold.

tl;dr go take an anatomy class
#114 - nahbro (08/20/2014) [-]
Sorry, but no. You're a moron. People have been hit in the head with frying pans and other heavy metal objects and all it did was put them in a lot of pain. You're an idiot if you think hitting someone in the back of the head with a textbook is a guarantee to knock them out.

Also, you're just wrong if you think the back of the head is soft. Try poking it. Go on. Now poke your stomach. Or your thigh. Or your sides. It's not as strong as the front of the skull, but it's not soft either.
User avatar #115 - Tusura (08/20/2014) [-]
The back of the head is the softest part of the skull other than the very top dip.
It is also the closest to the Medulla which runs your motor functions. A well placed strike from training for 6+ years with a heavy hard object to the base of the skull is an almost guaranteed knockout.

Yes, people can get hit in the head with hard metal objects and have few adverse effects, but as I said before, my brother and I have been doing Mixed Martial Arts since we were 8 at the request of our uncle who is a Secret Service member and has been for 20+ years

I know EXACTLY where to hit someone to put them out. I also know where to hit people to incapacitate them, knock the wind out of them, break specific bones without maiming. I know pressure points and where to hit to stop blood flow, or constrict tendons.

tl;dr stop talking out your ass.
#116 - nahbro (22 hours ago) [-]
Your reading comprehension needs some work.

Please read, re-read and look over the several times where I've said that your story is POSSIBLE, BUT SOUNDS HIGHLY UNLIKELY.


User avatar #62 - trollchildxy (08/20/2014) [-]
You are mostly right. A hit to the back of the head with a text book is probably a pretty low chance to knock the guy out. But if it knocked him down and he whacked his head on the ground it could K.O. him.

As for the jab to the jaw, that is one of the most common moves in pretty much any fighting sport. Such as boxing, they go for the jaw because the leverage it applies to the head will rattle the brain inside the skull, causing a T.K.O.
#64 - nahbro (08/20/2014) [-]
Key word here being could. Considering he was a younger brother and smaller and weaker than his brother, and the dudes following him were probably his brother's age, it becomes more unbelievable.

Sure, it's a common move in fighting, but I find it hard to believe that the brother is strong/skilled enough to deliberately knock someone out with one punch.

Not saying it's an impossible story, just really unlikely.
User avatar #111 - Tusura (08/20/2014) [-]
Mixed Martial Arts training since 8 years old can put some power in punches, regardless of how "big" you are.

I've seen a 4 foot tall person knock out a 6 foot tall person in 1 hit.

Knocking someone out is NOT hard, it just requires placement.
User avatar #69 - trollchildxy (08/20/2014) [-]
I met a man who fell face forward to the ground after being pushed from behind. His forehead hit the concrete (due to being intoxicated his reflexes were too slow for him to catch himself first). He now has to hold his right arm to keep it from violently spasming (To demonstrate he held an open bottle of water in that hand and his arm shook so bad it emptied the bottle within like 10 seconds), and has a severe speech impediment.

While I understand your skepticism, i do, nothing in his story was unbelievable to me. The only unbelievable thing is simply that it was posted on the internet and there is no actual proof of it happening. the contents of the story are highly plausible with how they were described.
User avatar #71 - trollchildxy (08/20/2014) [-]
Besides, he said Calculus textbook. One hit from that book could probably K.O. a linebacker.
User avatar #112 - Tusura (08/20/2014) [-]
Sorry it was Pre-calculus Which I took as a sophomore and I was tired when writing this.
User avatar #72 - trollchildxy (08/20/2014) [-]
Oh, also, i've never heard of anyone (aside from south korean exchange students) below the age of 14 learning calculus. So he more than likely had enough strength to put the required force for said textbook to K.O. someone caught unawares.
User avatar #31 - lolzordz (08/19/2014) [-]
not so much that its unbelievable but it sounds like a really cliche/cheesy story you'd find in a comic book
User avatar #28 - Tusura (08/19/2014) [-]
No, this is an actual event that happened a decade ago.
#3 - anonymous (08/19/2014) [-]
#6 - If you think thats crazy go look at Kanye. He has like 8 tweet…  [+] (2 new replies) 08/19/2014 on my followers are your... +4
#8 - antoniospaghettio (08/19/2014) [-]
You mean Kanye West? I checked - 82 tweets and 10 M followers.

Only 1 page following though - what a dick.
User avatar #16 - hashtronaut (08/19/2014) [-]
ah, it's that Kardashian chick. I legitimately had to make sure he wasn't following a 2nd kanye west page.
#83 - **** em hard. 08/19/2014 on Fuck Vegans 0
#46 - What a bunch of dicks. 08/19/2014 on Physics! 0
#25 - Picture 08/19/2014 on Steven Spielberg -3
#212 - He is actually part of the reason you see all the crazy hair o…  [+] (1 new reply) 08/19/2014 on bullied by zahnrad 0
User avatar #215 - joshlol (08/19/2014) [-]
I do too
#64 - Joshlol hows it feel to be the next DSend?  [+] (4 new replies) 08/18/2014 on bullied by zahnrad +4
User avatar #103 - Sperit (08/18/2014) [-]
but Dsend wasn't terrible
User avatar #94 - joshlol (08/18/2014) [-]
didn#t he make oc?
#212 - APURPLEPYTHON (08/19/2014) [-]
He is actually part of the reason you see all the crazy hair on some of the OC comics around the site. I've been here a long time. Seen a lot of different posters. You arent facing anything new. This is what happens to all the famous funny junkers. People are going to try and push you out of the site just like they did Dsend for no good reason. I really liked Dsend and I do like you too. You're the only person on the site right now that everyone talks about. There used to be a few big guys. Dsend got famous for getting more thumbs then the "Like This If You Arent Gay Post" I miss old FunnyJunk.
User avatar #215 - joshlol (08/19/2014) [-]
I do too
#155 - **** you Laura Morton. 08/17/2014 on Is the t silent? 0
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User avatar #1 - EpicAnon ONLINE (04/11/2014) [-]
Cincinnati master race?
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