Belgians and Germans

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Submitted: 07/19/2013
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User avatar #44 - fantomen (07/20/2013) [-]
later that week
>The stupid Belgians are tossing hand grenades at the Germans
>Germans get annoyed
>Germans pick op the Belgian grenades, pull the pins and throw them back.
User avatar #49 to #44 - shadowhorn (07/20/2013) [-]
I heard this one as a blonde joke.
#79 to #49 - rothingham (07/20/2013) [-]
Well then it seems us Belgians are the country equivalent of the blonds...
#95 to #79 - anon (07/20/2013) [-]
Maybe the Belgians from Antwerp/Kempen? I see them capable of **** like that.
User avatar #105 to #95 - patronanvers (07/20/2013) [-]
Eerder West-Vlaanderen, iedereen weet dat Antwerpenaren slimmer zijn
#135 to #105 - anon (01/07/2015) [-]
User avatar #15 - Lambda ONLINE (07/19/2013) [-]
This joke literally predates the radio. Not to say it isn't funny.
User avatar #75 - tiltaz (07/20/2013) [-]
>Germans fightin russian on the eastern front
>Both sides low on supplies
>Russians dont even have enough weapons for every soldier
>Russian general send his unarmed troops to the front lines:
>"The germans dont know you dont have guns, just make some shooting noises and you'll be fine
>Russians charge "Tra tra tra tra tra!"
>Germans retreat.
>German generals comes up with a plan.
>"Men, the russians have us outgunned we need to buy time, just go to the front lines and make tank noises, so that they think that we have tanks!"
>German soldiers go to make tank noises
> German soldier runs into a Russian
> Russian says "Stay back i have a weapon" (tra tra tra)
>German replies "I dont give a **** im in a tank"
User avatar #104 to #75 - warwolfrider (07/20/2013) [-]
hmmm sounda alot like one of my jokes link to when i posted comment
>be 22
> in war zone
> run out of ammo
> go to commander
> request ammo
> he says we don't have any to spare
>commander says just point your finger at them and say BANG BANG IM A SOLDER
>Do as he says
> HOLY **** IT WORKS .jpg
>dropping enemies left and right
> go back to commander
> tell him how it works and ask if theirs anything better i can do
> he tells me hold your hands up like your holding a M16 and say RAT A TAT TAT im a machine gunner
>do as he says
>killing so many enemies
>gonna be a war hero
> see one coming down mid field i point at him and say rat a tat tat im a machine gunner
> nothing happens
> stand up and fire everything i got
> hes coming close
>keep shooting no use
>guy gets right in front of me
>says CLICK CLANK IMA TANK www.funnyjunk.com/funny_gifs/4656777/How+does+one+tank/75#75
User avatar #33 to #23 - RefrainFromTouchin (07/20/2013) [-]
Damn, that pic actually looks like the one Belgian girl I know
User avatar #78 to #33 - fuzzyballs (07/20/2013) [-]
there aren't any sort of features besides long brown hair
it looks like half the women in ******* Europe
#54 to #33 - anon (07/20/2013) [-]
Plot Twist It's actually a dude
User avatar #80 to #23 - stijnverheye (07/20/2013) [-]
Belgium masterrace
User avatar #36 to #23 - smokekusheveryday (07/20/2013) [-]
That's cause you belgiums make some ******* damn good chocolate

tell me your secrets
User avatar #52 to #36 - holycrapimacupcake (07/20/2013) [-]
The blood of our enemies and the souls of the damned.
#102 to #36 - spetsnazvymple ONLINE (07/20/2013) [-]
and some sexy ar's
User avatar #126 to #102 - smokekusheveryday (07/20/2013) [-]
FNC had some issues with it's safety in that anime if i remember
User avatar #111 to #36 - stijnverheye (07/20/2013) [-]
And dont forget weaponry like the p90/m249(minimi)/FAL/scar
User avatar #71 to #36 - Midirr (07/20/2013) [-]
Don't forget about the fries and beer man!
Best beers in the world!
User avatar #127 to #71 - smokekusheveryday (07/20/2013) [-]
How could i!
#53 to #36 - jari has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #77 to #53 - fuzzyballs (07/20/2013) [-]
belgiƫ maakt de beste zwitserse chocolade?
******* mongool....
#57 to #53 - anon (07/20/2013) [-]
last time i checked, french fries are american. i know you didn't mention pizza but pizza was invented by an italian immigrant in america. mmmmm pizza.
User avatar #58 to #57 - prisonerzero ONLINE (07/20/2013) [-]
French Fries are in fact, Belgian. So are saxophones. As well as chocolate. Invented in Belgium
#64 to #58 - dragemit (07/20/2013) [-]
Belgium was a part of the netherlands when chocolate was invented
#96 to #64 - anon (07/20/2013) [-]
Still counts as Belgian, just not country Belgium but province Belgium.
#72 to #58 - prisonerzero has deleted their comment [-]
#106 to #57 - anon (07/20/2013) [-]
man you need to get your sources checked... how was pizza invented in the states ?
#131 to #106 - anon (07/21/2013) [-]
You know like everything good was invented in Amurrica amirite?
#73 - anon (07/20/2013) [-]
All anons should be named Chefke from now on.
#63 - crazyolitis (07/20/2013) [-]
Belgians' FW sort of
#7 - anon (07/19/2013) [-]
Chefke? I've never seen or heard of anyone in Belgium named like this.
Jefke... maybe.
User avatar #8 to #7 - screencleaner [OP](07/19/2013) [-]
Friend of mine from Belgium is named Chef, I added "ke" behind it to make it sound a little more Belgian. Chef comes from "Joseph" btw.

Chefke sounded Flemish to me and Heinrich sounded German to me, so that's why.
User avatar #9 to #8 - thearchitectt (07/19/2013) [-]
never heard of a guy from my country named chef
#11 to #8 - anon (07/19/2013) [-]
Yeah me neither, but hey these days who knows.
But the more common name is Jeff.
Also belgian and germans were kinda bro's until versaille, they even offer flemish soldiers to cross over without being shot, this was while they were winning ofc. Because the first few years of the war they were winning big time! There hadn't been a foreign boot on German soil, and then the money flow ran out.
#14 - occamsrazor (07/19/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #50 - belgiumguy (07/20/2013) [-]
...welll damn
User avatar #118 - whistleandrun (07/20/2013) [-]
Belgium is the Hufflepuff of Europe...
#84 - anon (07/20/2013) [-]

The waffle warriors
#97 to #84 - vincetacular (07/20/2013) [-]
Belgium Waffle masterrace!
User avatar #81 - stijnverheye (07/20/2013) [-]
Lets all not forget that Belgium had the least casualties compared to the 4 other Countries

i am not offended by the way
User avatar #90 to #81 - flybager (07/20/2013) [-]
Probably because there were a lot less of us to begin with
#93 to #90 - anon (07/20/2013) [-]
Albert 1 didn't want to let the Belgians fight out of the country (as Belgium is a neutral country) so in the final attacks against the Germans the Belgians didn't have to leave the trenches and didn't suffer many casualties at that point. During the defense however they had one of the worst parts of the front to defend (Ypres) with one of the smaller armies with quite outdated gear so it all came down to technique. One shouldn't underestimate their importance and effort in the war.
#99 to #93 - anon (07/20/2013) [-]
You're forgetting the huge number of British soldiers also there.
Also, I've been to Ypres, they are nice. They gave me chocolate for being in the British Army and I approve of this.
User avatar #101 to #99 - flybager (07/20/2013) [-]
The british helped the belgian army roughly after the biltz-krieg was halted. They were trying to wait it out at first, but (after I assume realizing that the belgian shores were about to be occupied by the enemy) they decided to help in full force.

The reason behind them not helping europe at first is because the british never had it for the french, that's one, and because they were feeling deceived by belgium after finding out about the belgian forces massacring the african tribes in Congo, even though they promised it wouldn't be a colony, but a re-civilization center. (or whatever)
User avatar #100 to #93 - flybager (07/20/2013) [-]
Partially correct,

Belgium was supposed to be neutral, but the deal was that if Belgium were to be attacked, surrounding countries would help defend it. Germany, Netherlands, GB and France signed that.

The thing was that nobody really gave a flying one about fighting on and for Belgian soil at the last months before the 'great' war started. so Albert I decided to make underground fortresses and defensive structures to make as much of a force out of that tiny army we were allowed to have (about 70k men, I believe)

when the germans had broken trough these defensive structures, either by force or by using tricks, they were halted at the 'Ijzer'. On which the german 'blitz-krieg' was halted. and even though the currently commanding french general asked Albert I to retreat behind french borders, he refused to give up due to wanting to keep on fighting on belgian soil, and also because there was a french general (Foch) who massacred a lot of french soldiers for pretty much nothing. (he even got a statue for that.(leading men to their death by the thousands)) and didn't want their men to have the same fate.

the reason their gear was outdated is because they didn't have the chance to try and research any new weaponry. mainly due the german wehrmacht had occupied roughly 85% of Belgium already. and were shelling the remaining 15% on daily basis,

I've been through that in history class too.
#48 - insanefreak (07/20/2013) [-]
I heard the same joke with Italians.

Oh, and it's Jefke, not Chefke. I can't think of any Belgian name that starts with a Ch (except Charlotte, but women weren't allowed to fight then)
#123 - crazyoljew (07/20/2013) [-]
I love historical jokes
I love historical jokes
#91 - anon (07/20/2013) [-]
Only there wasn't a single Chefke in Belgium that time, there would have been a ton of Jefkes but not a single Chefke.
#3 - domperman (07/19/2013) [-]
guessed right ;D
#12 to #3 - anon (07/19/2013) [-]
>Not replying to him
ffs sake and you've got a blue name!
User avatar #76 - fuzzyballs (07/20/2013) [-]
it's Jefke by the way
#134 - haydentheviking (07/24/2013) [-]
If there all called the same? is at some insane inbreeding? (pic is there cause why not)
#94 - sofarsogoodsowhat ONLINE (07/20/2013) [-]
that's funny, we have the same joke in Israel, only with a Jew and an Arab...
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