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post your most brutal joke

 
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Views: 79137 Submitted: 06/27/2013
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#1 - xxenriquejuansonxx
Reply +471
(06/27/2013) [-]
How do you know if a girl is too young for you?

You have to make airplane noises to stick your cock in her mouth
#5 to #1 - zestyfiesta
-2
has deleted their comment [-]
#549 to #1 - damphyr
Reply 0
(07/24/2013) [-]
There isnt a reaction image that can possibly sum up the sheer amount of wrong and awesome contained herein.
#462 to #1 - tehpoonages
Reply +1
(06/28/2013) [-]
Jimmy Carr <3
#503 to #1 - socialoutcast
Reply +1
(06/28/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#475 to #1 - dandyhandy **User deleted account**
Reply +2
(06/28/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#399 to #1 - nyawgga
Reply +3
(06/28/2013) [-]
#356 to #1 - haydenmonty
Reply +4
(06/28/2013) [-]
How do you get one hundred babies into a 5 gallom bucket? Blender.
How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.
#279 to #1 - ninjapleazze
Reply +5
(06/28/2013) [-]
#407 to #1 - awomanscorned
Reply +5
(06/28/2013) [-]
MFW reading this.   
This joke was so tasteless, it was delicions :3
MFW reading this.
This joke was so tasteless, it was delicions :3
#228 to #1 - dandannyboyclark
Reply +11
(06/27/2013) [-]
what runs up walls and kills jews?



gass pipes.
#17 to #1 - therealtjthemedic
Reply +15
(06/27/2013) [-]
thats actually kinda hot
#20 to #17 - poncakeforlife
Reply +80
(06/27/2013) [-]
#190 to #1 - noutvissers
Reply +20
(06/27/2013) [-]
How do you make a gay guy **** a woman?

**** in her cunt.

#125 to #1 - kez
Reply +43
(06/27/2013) [-]
Jimmy carrs supposed most offensive joke.

If only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save miiillions... of mosquitos dying needlessly of AIDs.
#22 - puppetstigma **User deleted account**
+374
has deleted their comment [-]
#394 to #22 - chosencausefuckyou **User deleted account**
-3
has deleted their comment [-]
#529 to #394 - puppetstigma **User deleted account**
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#518 to #22 - effort ONLINE
Reply 0
(06/28/2013) [-]
Thought it was like this, a black man and a latino jump off a building, who lands first?

The latino, since the black man was stopped by the rope.
#229 to #22 - dandannyboyclark
Reply +2
(06/27/2013) [-]
there was a black out in my street the other night!



so i went out and shot him.
#402 to #229 - RiflemanFunny
Reply +6
(06/28/2013) [-]
George, I thought you were in court.
#354 to #229 - bladebites
Reply +2
(06/28/2013) [-]
I think you might have gotten that joke across more clearly if you had written "blackout" with no space. I didn't really read that right.
#395 to #354 - PadreRasta
Reply +2
(06/28/2013) [-]
If it was written "blackout", together, it would mean a light shortage, but the way he wrote, can mean both a light shortage and a black man out.
#460 to #395 - dunkleosteus
Reply +3
(06/28/2013) [-]
I didn't read "blackout" either. My thoughts immediately jumped to a black man and then the whole joke becomes rather horrible and racist instead of surprising, funny and racist
#508 to #460 - articulate
Reply +4
(06/28/2013) [-]
Agreed, it just became "I killed a black man because he was black."
#484 to #395 - jamiemsm
Reply +1
(06/28/2013) [-]
i only read it as a black (person) out since there was space betweem tbh
#25 - arthuun
Reply +276
(06/27/2013) [-]
Jokes don't kill people.
Muslims who are offended by jokes kill people.
#311 to #25 - minnesotaids
Reply +4
(06/28/2013) [-]
Your picture = thug life
#92 - crosskill
Reply +253
(06/27/2013) [-]
A woman is giving birth at the hospital and the baby is finally crowning.

"Push! Push!", said the doctor.

After much pushing the baby finally comes out.

The doctor looks at the baby.

Then he starts beating it in the face.

Then he passes the baby to the nurse. The nurse starts kicking the baby like a ball.

During this the mother is freaking out.

"What the hell is going on!?", she screams.

After slam dunking the baby into the floor the doctor looks up at the woman and says, "April Fools it was already dead!"
#368 to #92 - anon
Reply 0
(06/28/2013) [-]
The version I hear also has him dribbling the baby down the hallway...
#443 to #92 - superanonymouspers
Reply +2
(06/28/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#448 to #92 - harshy
Reply +4
(06/28/2013) [-]
doctor looks up and says "**** you, i do what i want"
#527 to #448 - anon
Reply 0
(06/30/2013) [-]
"I'm a doctor! I know what I'm doing!"
#102 to #92 - monsterderp
Reply +21
(06/27/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#23 - whycanticaps
Reply +165
(06/27/2013) [-]
Did you guys know Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment
#331 to #23 - golbot
Reply +3
(06/28/2013) [-]
What do pink floyd and princess diana have in common?

Their last big hit was The Wall.
#332 to #331 - whycanticaps
Reply +5
(06/28/2013) [-]
Did Princess Diana drive a Ford or a Mercedes?

A Mercedes, she wouldn't get caught dead in a Ford
#6 - blackscales
Reply +160
(06/27/2013) [-]
Statistically speaking, 4 out of 5 people enjoy gang rape.
#48 to #6 - anon
Reply 0
(06/27/2013) [-]
i thought it was nine out of ten?
#202 to #48 - stardustdragonlord ONLINE
Reply +11
(06/27/2013) [-]
19 out of twenty agree more people more fun
#388 to #6 - anon
Reply 0
(06/28/2013) [-]
3 out 5, her dad is having second thoughts
#9 - damphyr
Reply +144
(06/27/2013) [-]
How do you kill a retard?
Give him a knife and ask him "Who is a special guy?"
#10 to #9 - damphyr
Reply +4
(06/27/2013) [-]
i'm going to hell for this
#303 to #10 - anon
Reply 0
(06/28/2013) [-]
I dont get it
#31 to #9 - trojandetected
Reply +7
(06/27/2013) [-]
put poison on his shoulder
#26 - cluttershy
Reply +136
(06/27/2013) [-]
Have you ever had Ethiopian food?

Neither have they.
#420 to #26 - nigeltheoutlaw
Reply +4
(06/28/2013) [-]
I went to an Ethiopian restaurant once. That was the most I've ever payed for an empty plate in my life.
#99 - barbwirepain
Reply +134
(06/27/2013) [-]
A little girl is in the shower with her mom, she looks up and sees her moms breasts. Mommy mommy, what are those? she asks. The mother says those are my breasts. The little girl asks, when will i get them? The mother responds, when you're older.

A few days later the little girl is in the shower with her father. She looks and sees his penis and asks. Daddy daddy, what's that? The father responds, that's my penis dear. The little girl asks, when will I get one? The father replies, oh when your mom leaves for work.
#502 to #99 - Vickkersss
Reply -4
(06/28/2013) [-]
Same base of joke, different ending.

A little girl is in the the shower with her mom, she looks points to her breasts and says "Mommy, what are those?" Her mother replies "Those are my head lights" The little girl then points to her mothers vagina and asks "What is that?" Her mother replies "that is my bush"

The next day the little girl is in the shower with her father she points to his penis and asks "what is that?" Her father replies "my snake"


Later that night the girl had a bad dream and asked her parents if she could sleep with them. A while later the little girl screams "Mommy quick turn on your head lights the snakes going into the bush!"
#380 to #99 - sweateagle
Reply +8
(06/28/2013) [-]
#39 - BerryLicious
Reply +121
(06/27/2013) [-]
Women's rights.
#289 to #39 - ninjapleazze
Reply -3
(06/28/2013) [-]
Civil Rights Movement
#435 to #39 - fuckingtrolls
Reply +3
(06/28/2013) [-]
#327 to #39 - itsdasp
Reply +5
(06/28/2013) [-]
Sorry about the size.
#434 to #327 - xxleeroyjenkinsxx
Reply +3
(06/28/2013) [-]
havent you heard? size doesnt matter!