*Private Dick: "SIR! We've located pussy at 12 o clock!
*Me: "Really private? Allow me to investigate, we've had false alarms before."
*Private Dick:"Negative sir, I have located the tits! Target acquired!"
*Me: Hold on just a second private, something doesn't feel right.
*Private Dick: What could you mean sir? I'm about to arm the torpedo, your word is needed sir.
*Me: "No... it can't be... that face.. don't I recognize it?"
*Private Dick: "SIR THE BLOOD FLOW IS GOING TO THE TORPEDO, WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME."
*Me: "That face... it looks familiar.."
*Private Dick: "SIR WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME! THE TORPEDO IS NEARLY ARMED!!!"
*Me:"Could it be... no... it couldn't.."
*Private Dick: "SIR 10 SECONDS UNTIL THE TORPEDO IS FULLY ARMED! WE NEED YOUR WORD!"
*Me: "Oh... Oh no... Pika... IT'S THE PIKACHU!!! It's that *******
Pikachu faggot again! ABORT! THOSE BOOBS ARE FAKE!"
*Private Dick: "Oh hell! How can you tell Captain?"
*Me: "Someone said it was a dude, and I spotted a tell-tale Adams Apple, you've failed me again.."
*Private Dick:" FALSE ALARM! General Balls, disable the torpedo on the stat!"
*General Balls: "Sir yes sir!"
*Me: "Private Dick... I'd fire you, but you're the only man I've got for this mission.. For the love of the crew... don't fail us again. We need you to be our eyes and ears for the nearest piece of pussy we can find, and we can't afford to have any more false alarms. You hear me damn it?"
*Private Dick:" Y-y-Yes sir..."
*Me: "Now go back to the cabin with Commander Balls for disciplinary action. Don't let me see you again until fap time..."