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Satanics

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Views: 26629
Favorited: 232
Submitted: 05/23/2013
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Comments(218):

[ 218 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#5 - Mebeshe (05/23/2013) [-]
Hunh.
Hunh.
User avatar #10 to #5 - SebyMeister ONLINE (05/23/2013) [-]
Name of the animation pls
User avatar #201 to #10 - Mebeshe (05/24/2013) [-]
Wreck-it-Ralph. It's an amazing movie about a video game bad guy that wants to be a good guy. All sorts of cameos are in it.
#28 - dwarfman (05/23/2013) [-]
What's with the flood of Satanist posts lately? Did a swarm of 8th graders learn how to use the internet?
User avatar #30 to #28 - yunablade (05/23/2013) [-]
I think most of funnyjunk had never looked up what satanism actually consist of (me included)

Most of us assumed they where retards soul kamikazes that were betting on a losing horse.

Its impressive and very different from what christinas/catholics paint them as. It even clearer and makes more damn sense...
#35 to #30 - dwarfman (05/23/2013) [-]
Lucifer fell to his pride. If he stands to gain in aiding you, he will. This is the basic rule of Satanism.
User avatar #91 to #35 - captainfuckitall (05/24/2013) [-]
Umm, not really?

Satanists do not consider Satan evil, as a matter of fact, some sects don't even believe him to be real. Regardless, both view him (whether real or as a metaphor) as a man of justice, freedom, truth, and empowerment. These are the 4 pillars of Satanism, and the 4 things a Satanist must always hold themselves by

The ones the christian church thinks of are called 'Devil-Worshippers'. They believe god is ALL forgiving, and thus Satan (evil christian version) is actually the true god of the earth, and try to gain his favour by doing evil.

Pseudo-Satanists are the ones you're thinking of. They're the ones who use the name just to sound cool, edgy, or as an excuse for stupid or weird things
User avatar #103 to #91 - enkmaster (05/24/2013) [-]
I actually know a few Satanists who worship Helios, and one who follows Tyr*, and they are some of the nicest people Ive ever met. They dont take their religion super seriously, but they do practice it.

*Yes, following Helois and Tyr qualify as a form of Satanism. Somehow.
User avatar #113 to #103 - captainfuckitall (05/24/2013) [-]
It's because many Satanists also identify as 'Pagans', and pay homage to the old gods, if out of respect and reverence for their tales if nothing else, whether they truly believe they exist or not
User avatar #119 to #113 - enkmaster (05/24/2013) [-]
They do believe. They do a form of meditation where they channel their presence or some **** and say they can see them. The weird part is that they all describe the exact same thing, down to tiny details that they couldnt remember without actually seeing them.

They also burn offerings of certain herbs in little brass and copper bowl things.
User avatar #121 to #119 - captainfuckitall (05/24/2013) [-]
Ah yes, I actually know that, it's a variation of a 'Thanksgiving ritual', (not the turkey or holiday, but just showing thanks and appreciation)
User avatar #124 to #121 - enkmaster (05/24/2013) [-]
That makes sense. About the meditation thing, though, I was just texting the guy who worships Tyr and he told me how he remembers things like his eye colour (like molten metal) and the number of little runes and stuff on his skin.
User avatar #128 to #124 - captainfuckitall (05/24/2013) [-]
Well, do you believe them? I can't tell you if there's anything beyond this life, or any merit to Satanism, but I can tell you that every bit of merit there is, you put into it yourself
User avatar #133 to #128 - enkmaster (05/24/2013) [-]
Meh. Im not religious. I think its pretty cool and interesting to possibly see some kind of ancient deity, but I prefer to let my actions speak louder than my faith. If there is some kind of god, then it will reward me for being a good person. If he punishes me for my lack of piety, then he isnt a god I want to follow.
User avatar #136 to #133 - captainfuckitall (05/24/2013) [-]
A very good and mature way of thinking
User avatar #137 to #136 - enkmaster (05/24/2013) [-]
Thank you.
User avatar #100 to #28 - thinegame (05/24/2013) [-]
School's out.
#69 - tomainstream (05/23/2013) [-]
4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.   
11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.
4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.
11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.
#104 - neoexdeath ONLINE (05/24/2013) [-]
ATTENTION BITCHES. I AM BROADCASTING THE MATING SIGNAL. ALL OF YOU FINE ASS SLUTS MAY NOW PLEASURE MY COCK AT YOUR LEISURE.
User avatar #23 - itzkarmaturtle (05/23/2013) [-]
Only LeVeyan Satanists follow these. Its a non-theistic sect of Satanism, we don't worship the devil because we don't believe in him nor God.
User avatar #92 to #23 - captainfuckitall (05/24/2013) [-]
Actually, even the Theistic and Spiritual sects of Satanism follow them too, with only slight variations in between. The basic goal of ALL Satanic sects is to become your own god, whether you believe in magic, gods, the paranormal, or not
#141 to #23 - anon (05/24/2013) [-]
"we", faggot detected
+6
#26 to #23 - leveyan **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #64 - happytoaster (05/23/2013) [-]
Dear Diary,
Today, Satan was a pretty nice guy.
#15 - anon (05/23/2013) [-]
Many of these rules encourage isolation, which is a useful tool when starting a cult. They also seem to encourage politeness. I'm not sure what to feel about this.
#42 to #15 - anon (05/23/2013) [-]
I dont think it encourages isolation. i think this site encourages isolation more than all satanists in the world
#85 - CaptainKill (05/24/2013) [-]
I was considering adopting LaVeyan Satanism as my religion, but then I thought, "Hey, If I have been following these rules all my life, why do I need an organization all of a sudden?"

Also, I'm opposed to joining a religion because it inevitably leads to most conflicts in our society's history.
User avatar #96 to #85 - pockyrin (05/24/2013) [-]
Pretty much my own train of thought yeah. The only reason to join up or label yourself is if you want to convert other people, and why bother, they'll have completely different views and that's cool
#88 to #85 - tallzed (05/24/2013) [-]
I agree with you but it makes sense to become a satanist.
#41 - apeytona (05/23/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #3 - kidddraco (05/23/2013) [-]
This is actually from Laveyan Satanism, people of this religion count themselves as their own gods.
User avatar #94 to #3 - captainfuckitall (05/24/2013) [-]
That's actually the main point of nearly every Satanic sect (also, whether they are theistic or not, nearly all of them share these same rules with only slight variations)
+7
#4 to #3 - lauryn **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #25 to #4 - itzkarmaturtle (05/23/2013) [-]
So what is your religion? Suitheisim?
0
#163 to #25 - lauryn **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #11 - honeybiscuit (05/23/2013) [-]
So pretty nice people, but damn do they escalate quickly.

If a guest in your lair annoys you, NO MERCY.

If someone bothers you ask him to stop, if he doesn't DESTROY HIM (and possibly all that he loves)
#19 to #11 - insanefreak (05/23/2013) [-]
Quite simple: the Satanic people are supposed to be headstrong, and move slowly, politely, but also with a determination to crush any opposition.

It's like the American army armed with good intentions as well as a ******** of firepower (comical reference). They'll come to help you (food, water, medicines, rebuilding, etc.), but if you put up resistance, they'll bomb everything.
User avatar #73 - lamarsmithgot (05/23/2013) [-]
This is basically just the regular moral code, only 11 year olds like to read it and call themselves satanists.
User avatar #115 to #73 - captainfuckitall (05/24/2013) [-]
Not necessarily. The Satanic code focuses more on honour and common decency, while many major religions (try to) focus on compassion and mercy

Besides, Satanism isn't so much a religion as it is a philosophy
User avatar #147 to #115 - lamarsmithgot (05/24/2013) [-]
i don't understand why followers have to drop a name like "satan", when he literally has nothing to do with the philosophy, or mindset.
User avatar #158 to #147 - captainfuckitall (05/24/2013) [-]
He actually has a lot to do with it if you look at it a certain way. You have to remember that Satanists do not see Satan as evil, they see him as a being of compassion and equality in all things, representing Freedom, Truth, Justice, and Empowerment, and it is these 4 things that Satanists actively try to cultivate in themselves in order to ascend to 'god-hood'. That's why he's included, because Satan is seen as the ultimate antagonist to destiny and injustice, as it is also in human nature to fight with everything you have, even against the inevitable. Satan simply embodies that
User avatar #150 - pennyxD (05/24/2013) [-]
Today, i didn't know i was satanic...
+2
#159 to #150 - lauryn **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #148 - monkeysniper (05/24/2013) [-]
These are actually pretty reasonable
#145 - devastationator (05/24/2013) [-]
Mfw apparently I've been living a Satanist life style without knowing
+1
#166 to #145 - lauryn **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #127 - ronyx (05/24/2013) [-]
No **** they're nice rules, they came up with them on 1967 not the ******* stone age like the bible when it was considered cool to stone women.
User avatar #78 - psykobear (05/23/2013) [-]
Number eleven.
If he does not stop, destroy him.
Best one.
#67 - typeonegative (05/23/2013) [-]
I hate to say it but I like these rules better...so yeah
I hate to say it but I like these rules better...so yeah
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