Hey there FJ. I'm rather bored, so I thought I might regale you with stories of my lunatic ex-boyfriend's mother.
This woman was your usual land whale type, had a habit of shouting, felt she was always right, liked to think she was intelligent whereas in fact she ahd the IQ of a fig, and believed in Wicca. For the record, I have no problem with Wicca, but this woman reallt took it to a new level. I don't even know if it was real Wicca she was practicing! She also believes in god and is an avid Christian (I think) Her hobby and obsession was making potions for illnesses etc from herbs and, oddly, vodka. Srangely, none of these remedies worked. Ever. She was obsessed with cleaning herself (she'd shower about four times a day) but her house was an absolute pigsty. She'd leave food to go off and mouldy and wonder why her kids got sick.
Anyway, the first story I can think of that you may enjoy is this. It is 100% true.
It was summer, and we were all sitting in the garden (myself, my ex, his mother and his three siblings). I was suffering from some pretty bad backache, and would flinch every now and again. This fruitloop of a woman insisted on my taking some of her magic juice and not to put "any of that garbage" (medicine) in my body. Eventually, to stop her jabbering, I accepted and took a spoonful of vodka with bits of grass in it. About half an hour passes and my back's no better, so she decides to give me another dose. Same thing happens. She then gets this mad idea that I'm being possessed by a deamon (my back occasionally spasmed causing the pain) and insists I go through an exorcism.
I had to sit there for two hours while her and her loony crew danced around, waving sticks and chanting some nonsense.
Please tell me I'm not the only one with a crazy ex-or-current partner's parent? Tell me some stories in the comments