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Dream On

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Views: 76972
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Submitted: 02/19/2013
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Comments(343):

[ 343 comments ]
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#31 - fuperbooper ONLINE (02/19/2013) [-]
I had a dream that I woke up as a jacket.   
I won't go explain the details, but I'll never know if I'm really human or a jacket.
I had a dream that I woke up as a jacket.
I won't go explain the details, but I'll never know if I'm really human or a jacket.
#217 to #31 - anon (02/20/2013) [-]
i had a dream that i was a truck tire. like a huge construction truck tire. oh wait that wasnt a dream... i was on salvia
#51 to #31 - lmOldGreg (02/19/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#24 - mintea (02/19/2013) [-]
Lick finger
touch finger to her clothes
"let's get you out of them wet clothes."
User avatar #149 to #24 - spysappinmysasha (02/20/2013) [-]
thats actually pretty funny, and done with enough confidence and a snappy attire, would probably ensure that the end result was a naked girl.
User avatar #9 - anomorphous ONLINE (02/19/2013) [-]
I thought it was pretty clever.
User avatar #331 to #9 - anomorphous ONLINE (02/20/2013) [-]
Why is my comment getting hundreds of thumbs I am so confused
User avatar #363 to #331 - fedegon (02/20/2013) [-]
Welcome to funnyjunk, comments you post with a thoughtful meaning are ignored, and stuff like this gets you 315 levels in comments.
User avatar #353 to #331 - SpcRamon (02/20/2013) [-]
He put an opinion that almost everyone agreed on.

Which is a miracle in itself really.
User avatar #53 to #9 - DamnJackieChan (02/19/2013) [-]
I'm saying, why can't I be that smooth in real life?
User avatar #83 to #53 - vuican (02/19/2013) [-]
Dat colour....
User avatar #321 to #83 - magenta (02/20/2013) [-]
I know. ******* Magenta
User avatar #13 - joseeg (02/19/2013) [-]
read lexi, thought porn star
#57 - DamnJackieChan (02/19/2013) [-]
I found out she's dating someone... if she breaks up with him, I'll ask her out. pinky promise, FJ
I found out she's dating someone... if she breaks up with him, I'll ask her out. pinky promise, FJ
0
#70 to #57 - sickedy has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #58 to #57 - Jackimole (02/19/2013) [-]
Don't worry, we're all eagerly waiting for updates on your personal life!
#64 to #57 - endsopanow (02/19/2013) [-]
that 			****		.... 			****		 that. Finally decide, yeah, im gonna ask her out. Oh she has a boyfriend..    
   
   
   
Waiting game initiate.
that **** .... **** that. Finally decide, yeah, im gonna ask her out. Oh she has a boyfriend..



Waiting game initiate.
User avatar #65 to #64 - DamnJackieChan (02/19/2013) [-]
I'm really confused now
#66 to #65 - endsopanow (02/19/2013) [-]
Im not saying dont ask her out lol my bad. Just saying that i too found out she was dating someone else, and i'm now waiting.
User avatar #80 to #66 - taintedangel (02/19/2013) [-]
I to am playing the waiting game, only on the reason that i don't make my move becasue "Once a cheater, always a cheater".

A wise man bides his time, then strikes when the iron is hot. Don't play by the rules, don't take prisoners, focus only on obtaining the prize.
User avatar #69 to #66 - DamnJackieChan (02/19/2013) [-]
oh, ok lol
User avatar #102 to #69 - cvitza (02/19/2013) [-]
ok guys listen up...i played the w8 game with a girl that i like and let me brake it down 4 u: i won, the point is that u must not always be there 4 them and **** ...be different, tease, don't always care and hit on other girls in their presence... if she is a good girl than not all will be necessary but if she is experienced than u must not play w8 game but "building a foundations" game...good luck, i won't be able to response bcs I'm blocked -.- not trying to sound smart here but there are a lot of beta and gama fags on internet that i would like to help (even though i can't) and on the other hand i have 4 sisters....44444444444444444444 sisters!! so i guess i know little something about them... if you are 2 good to them they will just feed on your aspiration, intentionally or unintentionally but they will...be different, flirt ALOT with other girls...just 4 practice..and maybe some one night stands come in to boost ur confidence...even alfa fags get rejected most of the time...why do u think others would have better score? they are only persistent...k...I'm talking 2 much I'm kinda high right now but i couldn't help but to identify with this story...hope i help and last tip-don't take yourself 4 granted...if she is using u than **** that bitch, or u will be cheated and ******* on...GOOD LUCK :D
User avatar #347 to #102 - coldactill (02/20/2013) [-]
This is very true. I had it work to a kind-of-negative effect with a girl that I dated for over a year. At the end of the relationship, where I was still quite young, I thought i could try to get rid of her and have her dump me by just being a dick to her and not caring about her, turns out that now five years later she still wants me back and we even have sex occasionally, even though I never talk to her (she's the only girl I've ever had sex with, and I'm overly nice to every other girl). Weird though. I still don't fully get it.
#178 to #102 - klotrock (02/20/2013) [-]
Thanks Jesus, that was actually kind of helpful.
Thanks Jesus, that was actually kind of helpful.
#96 - souleatingbunnies (02/19/2013) [-]
Your subconscious is more alpha than you are
User avatar #97 to #96 - DamnJackieChan (02/19/2013) [-]
maybe I should do a bunch of shrooms then ask her out
#110 to #97 - sleepyninja (02/19/2013) [-]
>be younger brother
>older brother and i co-own a small business but he's alpha as **** so he acts like he's the boss of me
>he does drugs too which affects our business but I just work twice as hard to make up for it
>theres also this girl we both like, he's always trying to get with her and trying to get me to help him get with her which bothers me, but she's out of both of our leagues so whatever
>come into work one day he's already on drugs
>he's talking about how he wants to **** this girl so hard, how shes his little princess and the things he would do to her... i just cant repeat without shuddering
>I snap and start yelling at him to respect her more and im tired of all his ******** and he needs to start working harder
>I go back to wrk, trembling and scared of what might happen
>he comes stumbling into my office 30 minutes later and points the gun at me
>take these drugs if you dont want your ******* face blown off, im tripping ball and need someone on my level
>I quickly take the shrooms, first time ive ever done drugs
>nothing happens so I go back to work
>we get a house call and go there to fix a ******* sink
> **** starts to hit me, brother is sitting on the counter next to the sink im working on giggling out of his mind
>i stand up and get so ******* dizzy and disoriented from the drugs
>I start to fall into the sink im working on
>grab my brother to try to stop the fall
>doesnt work and I pull him in
>we keep falling through the pipe, am i tripping the **** out or is this really happening?
>wake up in a strange land with flying turtles
>mfw were on world 1-1 and we have to save the princess for my brother, Mario
#101 to #97 - souleatingbunnies (02/19/2013) [-]
That's the best idea I've heard all week.
#22 - fooljamable (02/19/2013) [-]
I had a dream once in which I had a fully-fledged relationship. We were really happy, we held hands, kissed, we would walk around the high street holding hands, all that stuff. When I woke up, all I felt was sad, because I realised none of it was real and that I was still forever alone.
I had a dream once in which I had a fully-fledged relationship. We were really happy, we held hands, kissed, we would walk around the high street holding hands, all that stuff. When I woke up, all I felt was sad, because I realised none of it was real and that I was still forever alone.
User avatar #42 to #22 - garymotherfinoak (02/19/2013) [-]
ive had that dream one too many times. i feel you..
User avatar #151 to #22 - spysappinmysasha (02/20/2013) [-]
whenever I have those dreams, I never get to be with the girl. I am always trying to find where she is. Its as if in the dream I already was with her at some point, but she mysteriously disappears. In those dreams the sky is always an overcast, and it seems like all the people in the dream are trying to keep her away from me.

But then again I have some strange, unsettling dreams all the time.
#326 to #22 - anon (02/20/2013) [-]
Reminded me of "A Bittersweet life". A very touching movie, i consider you check it out :)
User avatar #354 to #22 - cumwhore (02/20/2013) [-]
I had a dream that for some reason, my crush was forced to marry me. She was not happy about it.
User avatar #45 to #22 - xyaleon (02/19/2013) [-]
Maybe you're just having a precognitive dream and it will happen. :)
User avatar #50 to #22 - turtlewithashotgun ONLINE (02/19/2013) [-]
I **** you not, I had that dream last week.
#121 to #22 - josep (02/20/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#134 to #121 - fooljamable (02/20/2013) [-]
I didn't ask you to read it, I was just sharing a passing dream I had.
I didn't ask you to read it, I was just sharing a passing dream I had.
#213 to #22 - jasoncreed (02/20/2013) [-]
So i'm not the only one that dreamed that, god it is really awful...
So i'm not the only one that dreamed that, god it is really awful...
#315 to #22 - torexofthenight (02/20/2013) [-]
I know how that is...I don't know if this is some type of condition, and if it is please enlighten me. Although when I dream sometimes they last for years, not literally. Real life its only 6 hours, but in the actual dream it feels like I'm trapped in whatever world this is for years. One time I had a dream I met this wonderful girl, her name was Jacquelynne. We grew close, and I feel for her in every which way, yet I never thought she felt the same way. One day I'm talking to one of her friends, Kandace, and she asks if I like Jacquelynne....I don't know why I told the truth, but I did. I told Kandace exactly how I felt about Jacque, and when she tells me Jacque talks about me the same way. I grabbed my phone, dialed her number, and asked her out. We were together for 2 years after that. I loved her so much....Then one day, I lay down to go to sleep, and I wake up two years before hand. None of it had happened, and I was alone, in my bed, realizing what just happened.....

I became depressed after that, but honestly there is a bright side to this...Jacquelynne exists, and I'm with her now. I don't know how to explain it, but a month after the dream I actually met her....It was the happiest moment of my life. I love her more than life its self, we've been together for nearly a year now. Yet for me, I've been with her for 3 years. I won't lie, I'm sometimes scared that I'm going to wake up, in that bed again, 2 years from now.....

TL:DR had a precognitive dream taking me to my soul mate.
User avatar #59 to #22 - RisenLichen ONLINE (02/19/2013) [-]
That's why I hate waking up
#198 - curtisbentley (02/20/2013) [-]
I had a dream once about having my first sexual experience.   
   
>Me: "Hey babe, you think it's time?"   
>Hot red-head, 9/10: "I think so."   
> Me: "So you want me to go down there and uh'..."   
> Hot red-head: "Mhm-hm. Go on?"   
> Start getting nervous as I look at her dream-thighs...   
> Me: "I-... I could give you the..."   
> Increasingly hot red-head: "Give me the D--   
> "The old lickaroo?"
I had a dream once about having my first sexual experience.

>Me: "Hey babe, you think it's time?"
>Hot red-head, 9/10: "I think so."
> Me: "So you want me to go down there and uh'..."
> Hot red-head: "Mhm-hm. Go on?"
> Start getting nervous as I look at her dream-thighs...
> Me: "I-... I could give you the..."
> Increasingly hot red-head: "Give me the D--
> "The old lickaroo?"
#281 to #198 - Weekendman (02/20/2013) [-]
"The Old Lickaroo". FJ is 			*******		 up sex. Even in dreams.
"The Old Lickaroo". FJ is ******* up sex. Even in dreams.
User avatar #36 - freedomreturns (02/19/2013) [-]
In my dream my dog turned into this girl I liked, then she turned in to Hulk Hogan, and then me and him beat up an 8 year old.
User avatar #38 to #37 - freedomreturns (02/19/2013) [-]
Well I can't exactly prove you wrong.
User avatar #34 - infinitereaper ONLINE (02/19/2013) [-]
That was actually pretty smooth dude.
#146 - qxangelxp (02/20/2013) [-]
I thought that boyfriend material line was pretty neat.
I thought that boyfriend material line was pretty neat.
#33 - graknab (02/19/2013) [-]
>Girl I like
>Ask her out
>She tells me she doesn't like me
>Wake up
>Remember that some ******** asked her to school dance 2 hours before I did and now they're probably *******
>Remember that I'm such a sack of **** that I cant get with anyone, even in my dreams

fast forward 1 year

>She's finally single
>Frends convince me to take her on a date
>Grow a pair and ask her out
>She says yes
>During the date, she doesn't talk almost at all, pays for her own food and refuses to let me walk her to her car
>Despite me being able to make her laugh, she barely speaks to me, it's awkward
>Later get a text saying that she's not into me
>mfw I am a psychic and can see into the future

Unrelated, anyone who says that if you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything is full of ****
User avatar #62 to #33 - RisenLichen ONLINE (02/19/2013) [-]
were they hearty laughs? Or like chuckles.
User avatar #84 to #62 - graknab (02/19/2013) [-]
Giggles
#183 to #33 - lambocj (02/20/2013) [-]
<----- when you become rich.
<----- when you become rich.
#272 to #33 - anon (02/20/2013) [-]
i find that tryying the funny option usually leads to freindzones or at least for me
#46 to #33 - anon (02/19/2013) [-]
you're obviously either ugly as **** , or not funny, i guess both.
#131 to #46 - lamarisagoodname (02/20/2013) [-]
I hope that made you feel better about yourself, you useless sack of ****
0
#85 to #46 - graknab has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #132 to #33 - lamarisagoodname (02/20/2013) [-]
same situation here, man. some girls are ice queens, but you can't stop thinking about them.
User avatar #15 - thatguywhohasbacon ONLINE (02/19/2013) [-]
I mean, it could work, making a girl laugh is never step AWAY from becoming her boyfriend...
#342 to #15 - llamatt (02/20/2013) [-]
I can think of one time that it would.
User avatar #231 - Zaivia (02/20/2013) [-]
Two of my friends had a dream about me last night:
One
> Went to friend's house
> "Hey man what's up?"
> "Not much."
> "Heh...D."
> "What?..."
> "D. Like D as in dick. Heh....dick."
> "Haha, yeah. Dick."
> *end of dream*

Two
> Playing video game with friend
> We are inside the game
> I piss her off
> She shoots poison at me
> I die
> Laying there
> Her: "Oh god, I killed him"
> All my friends start chanting around my body
> I'm alive again.
User avatar #228 - mikepetru (02/20/2013) [-]
>Be me about 7 years old
>Dream I'm floating in space
>Fat Albert's head slowly flies across my field of vision
> Give me an elongated "Heeeeeey Heeeeeey Heeeeeeey"
>Wake up crying
#332 - midorichaos (02/20/2013) [-]
**midorichaos rolled a random image posted in comment #20 at Moody's point ** Oh My
#135 - lamarisagoodname (02/20/2013) [-]
could have been worse, you could have offered the old lickaroo
-6
#122 to #116 - commondorozor **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #124 to #122 - jimmyprice (02/20/2013) [-]
well i do remember bits and pieces of the dreams but i remember almost all parts of my nightmares
#340 to #116 - chlrst (02/20/2013) [-]
...Remember all the awesome dreams just to wake up and realize that your life is crap
#113 - jimmyprice (02/19/2013) [-]
i had a dream a few days after i finally got over my girlfriend breaking up with me that she wanted to get back together and everything was perfect, i then woke up and felt sad again
wtf brain
#137 to #113 - kietzu (02/20/2013) [-]
Last night I dreamt I was yelling at an old &quot;acquaintance&quot;.   
I yelled &quot;Fat, disgusting, worthless, whore, that needs to crawl into the darkest pits of the universe and die&quot;.   
Still in my top ten list of things I've done in my dreams.
Last night I dreamt I was yelling at an old "acquaintance".
I yelled "Fat, disgusting, worthless, whore, that needs to crawl into the darkest pits of the universe and die".
Still in my top ten list of things I've done in my dreams.
#29 - highfocus (02/19/2013) [-]
I had dreamed that i´ve found my old pokémon cartridges

This moment was just pure pleasure
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