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Comments(276):

[ 276 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
+263
#61 - bendingtimesucks **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#69 to #61 - kenada (02/19/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#103 to #61 - mooghens ONLINE (02/19/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#99 - jaigurudevaom (02/19/2013) [-]
I've made some rules for when I have kids   
-Make lots of noise on the stairs and walk up slowly (so they can hear me coming up the stairs)    
-Let them lock their door   
-Knock first    
-Let them have a computer in their room    
   
Everyone masturbates
I've made some rules for when I have kids
-Make lots of noise on the stairs and walk up slowly (so they can hear me coming up the stairs)
-Let them lock their door
-Knock first
-Let them have a computer in their room

Everyone masturbates
User avatar #206 to #99 - teakill (02/19/2013) [-]
So, i m not the only one.
User avatar #137 to #99 - friednazi ONLINE (02/19/2013) [-]
I can tell when my mom is going to come in my room because she walks louder than usual up my stairs. I just don't like to think about when I have kids and that they'll do it too.
User avatar #156 to #137 - neokun (02/19/2013) [-]
You can't be disappointed in your kids masturbating when you do the same thing, thats just ******* retarded.
User avatar #246 to #156 - friednazi ONLINE (02/19/2013) [-]
I didn't say I'd be disappointed though. I just said I don't wanna think about it. What parent would want to?
#270 to #99 - anonomoz (02/19/2013) [-]
your family
your family
User avatar #1 - SaNcAlandariel (02/18/2013) [-]
Never stopped me before.
+42
#79 - sixroller **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#3 - mooghens ONLINE (02/18/2013) [-]
A survey have shown that 98% of all people masturbate
Same Survey has also shown that 2% are compulsive liars
#88 to #3 - EdwardNigma ONLINE (02/19/2013) [-]
What about Eunuchs/People who lost their dicks in an accident?
User avatar #102 to #88 - axeul (02/19/2013) [-]
Did you NOT read the statistics? What you think someone would just go on the internet and make up facts? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
#139 to #102 - irvea (02/19/2013) [-]
This image has expired
for future usage *flies away*
#216 to #139 - xnotcreative (02/19/2013) [-]
It's better without the image.
#230 to #216 - irvea (02/19/2013) [-]
This image has expired
okay, my bad i just thought you'd might not have the picture but wanted to use it
have a nice day tho ^^
#220 to #3 - berserkidyot (02/19/2013) [-]
What about Asians with a strong sense of pride?
User avatar #253 to #3 - cadencee (02/19/2013) [-]
I get the joke. But the real percentage (~ 80% of males, I'm not sure about females, but it's not much lower) is still pretty insane.
#279 to #3 - ahitwo (02/19/2013) [-]
I haven't masturbated since September 19, 2012.
#290 to #281 - ahitwo (02/19/2013) [-]
I'm not saying masturbating is bad, or wrong in any way, but as a person, I used to have absolutely no self-discipline when it came to anything. I found this website: www.yourbrainonporn.com, and I realized that porn was ruining my life. If I was going to give up porn, I might as well give up fapping, and I can finally gain a measure of peace with myself for overcoming my own desires.

Plus, after I tossed the habit, my social anxiety has completely gone away, and I have stopped drifting away from my friends. I also have had better luck finding a job.

No, I am not saying masturbation is a bad thing, but it often coincides with porn, and porn literally rots your brain, or at least hinders your ability to operate as a normal human being.

Anyone going through a tough time should try to give it a shot. I don't have anything against masturbation, but it just isn't the right activity for me. I realized that it was taking away from my ability to be myself around others. I hate feminism, but I do realize after almost half a year without masturbating, I really did used to objectify women as sexual objects.

The longer I go without it, the thinner and more invisible the line gets between men and women, and people can tell the difference between the new and old me.

tl;dr - I am not a wizard, I was just tired of being a wallowing betafag and decided to man up and take charge of my own life.
User avatar #223 to #3 - yindragon (02/19/2013) [-]
Recent surveys show that 78% of Americans make up random percentages.
#232 to #223 - mooghens ONLINE (02/19/2013) [-]
Doesn't apply, im Danish, and 138% of danes make up random percentages
User avatar #2 - rossoneri (02/18/2013) [-]
Everyone knows you jerk off, but that doesn't mean they're going to confront you about it, or purposely walk in on you cracking one off. You probably give them signs to confirm you are masturbating, like locking your bedroom door or finding a rock hard sock.
User avatar #21 to #2 - coolioplasm (02/19/2013) [-]
I ussualy wear easy to pull up shorts and have a quick way to close the porn I'm watching incase of emergency. Plus, I never leave a trace and don't od anything suspicious
User avatar #197 to #21 - demcupcakes ONLINE (02/19/2013) [-]
I cant do that its to suspicious to be wearing shorts in 10 degree weather.
User avatar #165 to #2 - smittywrbmnjnsn (02/19/2013) [-]
But, is it not weird for them, when they do a load of underwear, and they have to pick up 6 cum filled boxers in a row?
User avatar #186 to #165 - rokkarokkaali (02/19/2013) [-]
Boxer cumming master race reporting in.
#105 to #2 - stijnverheye (02/19/2013) [-]
the way you said it , beautiful
the way you said it , beautiful
0
#9 to #2 - deadfeds **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#11 to #9 - mtat (02/19/2013) [-]
nope, you aren't the only one.
#150 - aurelianopeachdoor (02/19/2013) [-]
The other day my mom came in my room in the morning (having jerked twice the night before) and she said as she opened the window "Your room smells a lot."
"A lot like what?" I asked.
"......Humanity..." She replied.

MFW she said that.
User avatar #224 to #150 - imabser (02/19/2013) [-]
Oh gawd the humanity!
User avatar #164 to #150 - mycatislookingatme (02/19/2013) [-]
My mum always says "Teenage boys" when that happens to me.
#90 to #82 - anon (02/19/2013) [-]
*masturbating
#159 - Desdenne (02/19/2013) [-]
Just like you know your parents have sex and you just pretend they dont. Or that blow jobs come with sex and maybe just one time in your life your mother kissed you good night after Bjing your Dad.
#146 - unncommon (02/19/2013) [-]
It's hard to not to when I always scream "AANNDD boom goes the dynamite." after climax.
#178 to #146 - ferbisboy (02/19/2013) [-]
i dont... just.. **** that's funny
#27 - anon (02/19/2013) [-]
Unless your parents are retarded, they know.

Nobody wants to get involved with it though.
#250 - baconbiscuits (02/19/2013) [-]
Go visit dad every summer during break (parent's divorced at birth). Go to see cousin, Aunt greets me: "Hey! How are ya, Sweetie! Cameron's in the bathroom! He's been in there for almost an hour. He's been in there a lot lately. I think he's constipated. :( " MFW
#71 - dollydagger (02/19/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#72 to #71 - samoaspider (02/19/2013) [-]
not giving a darn i assume?
not giving a darn i assume?
#91 - snakefire (02/19/2013) [-]
Its true.   
   
I've always known it was true
Its true.

I've always known it was true
+12
#73 - thatguynobodylikes **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #86 to #73 - comickrew (02/19/2013) [-]
You know my mom always knocks, but my dad just barges the **** in. You would think of all people he would know.
User avatar #106 to #73 - stijnverheye (02/19/2013) [-]
test it , leave the door open next time
#56 - bollingezonfre (02/19/2013) [-]
"IF"

I make sure they know.
User avatar #4 - ffx (02/18/2013) [-]
Well for boys, every time the door is locked they're going to assume we're masturbating.
User avatar #14 to #4 - talvash ONLINE (02/19/2013) [-]
establish the respect for your silence, no one comes into my room when im inside

or.. no one likes me
#10 to #4 - grimmapple (02/19/2013) [-]
But, I always lock my door...
User avatar #18 to #10 - Grammar Hitler (02/19/2013) [-]
Therefore, you are always masturbating.
#235 to #18 - grimmapple (02/19/2013) [-]
What? But... I mean, no I- .... yeah. Yeah okay. Alright. You got me.
What? But... I mean, no I- .... yeah. Yeah okay. Alright. You got me.
#26 to #10 - zeevalkyrie (02/19/2013) [-]
Oh deer indeed...
Oh deer indeed...
#35 - anon (02/19/2013) [-]
ofcourse they know jackass.. you know your parents have sex but you dont confront them or talk about it..
#38 to #35 - shadowreid (02/19/2013) [-]
I did, but they never confronted me jacking off, buuuuuut they confronted my sex when i found my girl.
#48 to #38 - happybutler (02/19/2013) [-]
What did they say. I'm pretty sure my parents know about me and my girl but I'm not sure. I'm just curious as to what to expect...
#107 to #48 - shadowreid (02/19/2013) [-]
more or less practice safe sex. i'm pretty sure they were uncomfortable talking about it so i wasn't surprised that it comes up rather rarely. over the two years we've been doing the deed it's been brought up by parents perhaps five times.
#295 to #107 - happybutler (02/20/2013) [-]
Exactly the same thing my parents keep telling me. I don't think they care that much though....
#297 to #295 - shadowreid (02/20/2013) [-]
If they didn't care, they wouldn't tell you that.. Or I hope they care.. My parents do.
#298 to #297 - happybutler (02/21/2013) [-]
I mean they don't mind that it's happening. They aren't against it or anything. They just want me to be safe while I do it.
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