>In Sainsbury's supermarket
>Desperately need a *****
>"Mum, can I go to the toilet please?"
>"Hold it, we're nearly done"
>15 minutes later woman is still faffing about, beginning to sweat from effort of retaining ****
>"Mum, I REALLY NEED THE TOILET!" "Shut up Anon, we're going to the tills now"
>Pressure is building, release a little with delicate little fart
>Decide I need to reduce pressure further
>Rip-roaring fart followed by a torrent of watery diarrhea, can't close the floodgates
>Oh ****, what do I do?
>People looking at me for producing this horrendous fart, apologise.
>"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SMELL?!"
>Feign ignorance, no-one has to know
>Female finishes buying half the shop and we leave for exits
>"Anon, are the chocolate mousses leaking? There's..."
>She looks in my eyes
>"Mum...it's not chocolate mousse"
>Both run from the shop, watery diarrhea flying from my trouser legs creating a trail of **** through the store and car park.
>14 years later in Sainsbury's buying alcohol
>Baby produces a pretty grim odour
>Cashier "This smell is almost as bad as that boy years ago"
I have never been so ashamed in my life