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SCP

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Views: 1487
Favorited: 1
Submitted: 08/22/2012
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#2 - oliviliv (08/22/2012) [+] (1 reply)
"Addendum: Test Log 69-1   
   
Dr. Hitler: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Hitler, and I am about to test SCP-69's reaction to Lemon. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Butt?   
Dr. Butt: Yes sir, ready to begin test.   
   
Dr. Hitler: Excellent! I am now introducing the Lemon to 69... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.   
   
Dr. Butt: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.   
   
Hitler: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN Anus! IT'S GOT MEIN Anus! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!"
"Addendum: Test Log 69-1

Dr. Hitler: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Hitler, and I am about to test SCP-69's reaction to Lemon. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Butt?
Dr. Butt: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Hitler: Excellent! I am now introducing the Lemon to 69... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. Butt: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Hitler: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN Anus! IT'S GOT MEIN Anus! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!"
User avatar #1 - mariochat (08/22/2012) [-]
Item #: ************

Object Class: ******

Special Containment Procedures: ************ is to be kept in a ************ containment chamber located in ****** , where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than ****** ****** armed with ****** .

In the event that ************ ever begins ****** its ****** , ****** is to ****** ************ until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force ******* 7 ('' ******** ) is to be dispatched to ************** last known location.

Description: ************ is a ****** ****** . Like most members of its species, it is able to ****** , and regularly eats twice its own weight in ****** each day.

************** unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with ****** , which causes it to turn into ****** . Whenever this happens, all ****** within a ****** kilometer radius will begin to ****** uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to ****** . Whether or not this is at all related to ************** anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: ************ was first located in ****** where the ****** were using it in order to ****** . Thankfully, Mobile Task Force ******* 7 ('' ******** ) was able to recover the object with only ****** civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log ******* 1

Dr. ****** : Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr ****** , and I am about to test ************ reaction to ****** . Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr ****** ?
Dr. ****** : Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. ****** : Excellent! I am now introducing the ****** to ****** ... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.
Dr. ****** : Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.
****** : Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN ****** ! IT'S GOT MEIN ****** ! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!
END LOG
User avatar #7 - thedestroyerbob (08/23/2012) [+] (1 reply)
Item #: SCP-whatsoever-J

Object Class: whatsoever

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-whatsoever-J is to be kept in a whatsoever-lined containment chamber located in whatsoever, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than whatsoever whatsoever armed with whatsoever.

In the event that SCP-whatsoever-J ever begins whatsoever its whatsoever, whatsoever is to whatsoever SCP-whatsoever-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force whatsoever-7 (''whatsoever'') is to be dispatched to SCP-whatsoever-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-whatsoever-J is a whatsoever whatsoever. Like most members of its species, it is able to whatsoever, and regularly eats twice its own weight in whatsoever each day.

SCP-whatsoever-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with whatsoever, which causes it to turn into whatsoever. Whenever this happens, all whatsoever within a whatsoever kilometer radius will begin to whatsoever uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to whatsoever. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-whatsoever-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-whatsoever-J was first located in whatsoever where the whatsoever were using it in order to whatsoever. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force whatsoever-7 (''whatsoever'') was able to recover the object with only whatsoever civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log whatsoever-1
User avatar #8 to #7 - thedestroyerbob (08/23/2012) [-]
Addendum: Test Log whatsoever-1

Dr. whatsoever: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr whatsoever, and I am about to test SCP-whatsoever's reaction to whatsoever. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr whatsoever?
Dr. whatsoever: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. whatsoever: Excellent! I am now introducing the whatsoever to whatsoever... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. whatsoever: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

whatsoever: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN whatsoever! IT'S GOT MEIN whatsoever! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG
User avatar #6 - jesusmcbatmanjones (08/23/2012) [-]
CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-█

Item #: SCP-7-J

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-7-J is to be kept in a pizza-lined containment chamber located in a 7-11 bathroom, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 13 milkmen armed with wirehangars.

In the event that SCP-7-J ever begins seeking its pinky, Dr. Gears is to penetrate SCP-7-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force Beta-7 (''Seinfeld'') is to be dispatched to SCP-7-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-7-J is a sexy zebra. Like most members of its species, it is able to suck dick, and regularly eats twice its own weight in pizza each day.

SCP-7-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with cheese-sticks, which causes it to turn into hat. Whenever this happens, all poops within a 6 kilometer radius will begin to fail uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Morgan Freeman. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-7-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-7-J was first located in Grapesville where the Miami Dolphins were using it in order to steal the Statue of Liberty. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force Beta-7 (''Seinfeld'') was able to recover the object with only 1579 civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 7-1
Dr. Googenheimer: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Googenheimer, and I am about to test SCP-7's reaction to toddler. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Vega?
Dr. Vega: Yes sir, ready to begin test.
Dr. Googenheimer: Excellent! I am now introducing the toddler to 7... hmm, zhe subjectseems to have already figured out zhe test material.
Dr. Vega: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.
Googenheimer: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN dick! IT'S GOT MEIN dick! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!
END LOG
User avatar #5 - ififeellikeit ONLINE (08/22/2012) [-]
CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-█

Item #: SCP-183-J

Object Class: Enochian

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-183-J is to be kept in a meat-lined containment chamber located in fort Knox, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 2 blacksmiths armed with cereal.

In the event that SCP-183-J ever begins climbing its leg, Gordon Freeeman is to grab SCP-183-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force lambda-7 (''Grimm'') is to be dispatched to SCP-183-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-183-J is a small cat. Like most members of its species, it is able to crawl up walls, and regularly eats twice its own weight in meat each day.

SCP-183-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with glass, which causes it to turn into carl. Whenever this happens, all moose within a 6 kilometer radius will begin to climb uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Hugh Laurie. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-183-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-183-J was first located in turnervill where the steelers were using it in order to take over the world. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force lambda-7 (''Grimm'') was able to recover the object with only 9999999 civilian casualties.
Addendum: Test Log 183-1
Dr. Volks: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Volks, and I am about to test SCP-183's reaction to dog. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Hynson?
Dr. Hynson: Yes sir, ready to begin test.
Dr. Volks: Excellent! I am now introducing the dog to 183... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.
Dr. Hynson: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.
Volks: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN ARM! IT'S GOT MEIN ARM! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!
END LOG
#3 - crazybomber (08/22/2012) [-]
seems legit
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