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Drunk cleric gay goblin pantsless dwarf

Views: 11726
Favorited: 38
Submitted: 08/09/2012
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User avatar #54 - thereisaguy (08/10/2012) [-]
I just got into D&D a few months ago after years of interest but I had to move out of state for school. Does anyone know how to hunt down other players?
User avatar #58 to #54 - zdawg (08/10/2012) [-]
mostly just ask around to see if anyone plays, and try to get a few of your friends into it, if you don't mind DMing
User avatar #70 to #58 - thereisaguy (08/10/2012) [-]
Well I did DM but I just moved from FL to VA so I don't really know anybody sadly enough.
#71 to #70 - zdawg (08/10/2012) [-]
**zdawg rolled a random image posted in comment #855 at Stuck in a game... ** Well make some new friends then!
#72 to #71 - thereisaguy (08/10/2012) [-]
**thereisaguy rolled a random image posted in comment #310947 at FJ Pony Thread 14 ** Well today at the comic book store I found out where everyone plays magic the gathering... Almost there.
#73 to #72 - zdawg (08/10/2012) [-]
**zdawg rolled a random image posted in comment #163 at soo much wat ** If you have a comic book store than you probably have D&D players
#76 to #73 - thereisaguy (08/11/2012) [-]
**thereisaguy rolled a random image posted in comment #172387 at FJ Pony Thread 14 ** Yeah they sell all the source books, I found a local place and I'm going to swing by and see when they host stuff.
User avatar #77 to #76 - zdawg (08/11/2012) [-]
User avatar #78 to #77 - thereisaguy (08/11/2012) [-]
yeah turns out its like 25 minutes away, might be worth it.
#53 - zilance (08/10/2012) [-]
>Be DM
>Player is total noob
>Tell him his rolls fail for fun
>Things escalate quickly
>Cover him in Goblin Jizz
>Best Session Ever
#55 to #53 - zdawg (08/10/2012) [-]
**zdawg rolled a random image posted in comment #35913 at Social Board ** I see, sounds like it's a dick move to me!
#61 to #55 - zilance (08/10/2012) [-]
Some DMs are total ******** . Mine, is not.
User avatar #63 to #61 - zdawg (08/10/2012) [-]
my latest DM has been awesome, he has taught me a lot about D&D
#65 to #63 - zilance (08/10/2012) [-]
Lol, I still point things out on occasion to mine when he forgets them. I DM on occasion so I make sure to keep him straight.
User avatar #66 to #65 - zdawg (08/10/2012) [-]
good to have that kind of synergy
#51 - xyle (08/10/2012) [-]
last d&d game i played was with a group of 6, 3 of them were girls who always rolled their dice away from everyones prying eyes, and they ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS rolled either a 19 or a 20, without fail. when the dm said they had to roll on the table they bitched and quit playing.
User avatar #52 to #51 - zdawg (08/10/2012) [-]
yeah i hate playing with bitchy players, and people who decide to only show up once and a while
#43 - ranndom (08/10/2012) [-]
< DM
< DM
User avatar #44 to #43 - zdawg (08/10/2012) [-]
pretty much, he then proceeded to steal my best friend's girl and nearly rip apart my and my best friends friendships
#47 to #44 - ranndom (08/10/2012) [-]
#48 to #47 - zdawg (08/10/2012) [-]
and that, my friend, is just the tip of the iceberg of this *******
User avatar #38 - romanprinsonerr (08/10/2012) [-]
I have a funny dnd story that I made a video for
User avatar #36 - penispenisthree (08/10/2012) [-]
my best moment in DnD. fight with some stone golems, I got this **** . charge in leroy jenkins style against 2 at once, roll too low first few rounds and fail horribly ending up with 2 hp, on my back with my shield broken and one of the golems standing over me hefting a large axe, party aids me from afar with spells and arrows, didnt do **** . I make one last attack my actual convo with the DM
Me "I bring my sword up and try to castrate the stone golem"
DM "hes a stone golem he dosent have any"
Me "i dont care im rolling to hit"
get a natural 20. (if you dont know, nat. 20's pretty much mean you break the rules of the game and automaticly manage to do whatever the **** you wanted to no matter how silly)
DM "*sigh* fine, you cut off his balls, roll for your armor save"
Me "what armor save?"
DM "if a stone golem had balls they'd be ******* huge, and you just cut them off, while he was standing over you, his balls just fell on you"
Me " **** " rolls for armor save and get a nat. 1
DM "his left nut falls right on your face and crushes your skull. You are dead."
me " **** "
User avatar #39 to #36 - zdawg (08/10/2012) [-]
oh damn dude, that is quite depressing, lol. and trust me i know what a nat 20 is
#33 - auesis (08/10/2012) [-]
>Playing NWN online
>Roll a Wizard build
>Server is based on Diablo
>Server-end error
>Spells have no upper damage limit and just get more and more powerful
>I'm the only caster around
>Hit Level 30 (max)
>Unstoppable killing machine that beats everyone in one spell in PvP
>MFW I launch a Maximised Greater Magic Missile at another player
#68 to #33 - nwn (08/10/2012) [-]
**** ... is that a new game? Am I gonna get a lot of notifications now?

I hate notifications...
User avatar #69 to #68 - auesis (08/10/2012) [-]
It's nearly a decade old, so no.
#74 to #69 - nwn (08/11/2012) [-]
AAAAAAHHH! Newerwinter Night, of course...
Now that i think about it, that may have been the reason i chose that username in the first place o_o
User avatar #75 to #74 - auesis (08/11/2012) [-]
All I remember apart from that server is the Epic Spells that my character obtained in it, and the lulz I had with them. I would always confuse newcomers to the server by transforming in to a Red Dragon and talking as if I was an NPC. I got a lot of "WOW, A TALKING DRAGON!" But then, I would always summon my familiar (a floating eyeball thing), and I would constantly possess it and make it speak, so it looked like it had a mind of its own and was part of the conversation when talking to other people.

Many, many lulz were had.
User avatar #35 to #33 - zdawg (08/10/2012) [-]
so that's evil
#37 to #35 - auesis (08/10/2012) [-]
Chaotic Evil.
#40 to #37 - zdawg (08/10/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#32 - anonymous (08/10/2012) [-]
Thats why I hate playing DnD. I'm not fond of western style fantasy games in the first place, but I really do find DnD boring and aggravatingely irritating at the same time. I don't like the idea that you have a 5% chance to get a 1 which could ruin whatever you were trying to do.
User avatar #34 to #32 - zdawg (08/10/2012) [-]
that is a bit of an exaggeration, but a lot of the time it REALLY depends on your DM, it can be the difference between having a great session, or a boring ass grindfest
User avatar #28 - Lambda ONLINE (08/10/2012) [-]
I've never played D&D, but it sounds hilarious.
User avatar #30 to #28 - zdawg (08/10/2012) [-]
it is a lot of fun, if you ever get a group of friends and can find the books i would recommend it
User avatar #26 - nousernameisleft (08/10/2012) [-]
>first time playing d&d
>get quest from old lady
>friend asks DM if he can roll to rape her
>DM "why the **** not?"
>rolls 20
>rapes lady
>rolls for damage
>rape does 3 damage
>proceed to kill lady after rape along with ladies brother who was in the room during the rape.
>best game ever
User avatar #27 to #26 - zdawg (08/10/2012) [-]
and that freedom is what makes D&D great
User avatar #29 to #27 - nousernameisleft (08/10/2012) [-]
Indeed it is. Just too expensive to play
User avatar #31 to #29 - zdawg (08/10/2012) [-]
i managed to get most of the 3.5 and pathfinder books on PDF
User avatar #19 - noamk (08/10/2012) [-]
God i loved playing as a dwarf.
when i was 16,i would do dwarven warrior dual wielding a mace and an axe.
No knee-caps were spared when i rolled the sacred D20. not even the dragons stood a chance.
Best moment of that campaign: whole group ****** up a white dragon's knees, ******* paladin killed it and stole my thunder, but i remember just how i was too short to aim for the knees, and busted every single dragon toe in sight. it was a good day for Brunor Fire-beard.
User avatar #25 to #19 - zdawg (08/10/2012) [-]
i'm not that big of fan of dwarves, but lately i have been branching out in my characters, so i may play one again some day
#18 - koditehpro (08/10/2012) [-]
**koditehpro rolled a random image posted in comment #9199 at Reaction Images **
Take this too
#24 to #18 - zdawg (08/10/2012) [-]
thank you! have this in return!
User avatar #15 - biohazardousone (08/10/2012) [-]
*Leaves a green thumb* Ill just leave this with you good sir
#14 - thebrony (08/10/2012) [-]
this isn't 4chan.
this isn't 4chan.
User avatar #22 to #14 - zdawg (08/10/2012) [-]
yes, but it is posted in the D&D channel
#67 to #22 - thebrony (08/10/2012) [-]
but it's the fact that he is trying to go for a green text story.
but it's the fact that he is trying to go for a green text story.
#11 - pineapplepeople (08/09/2012) [-]
Is your DM into midget porn by any chance?
User avatar #20 to #11 - zdawg (08/10/2012) [-]
you know, i'm not sure
#8 - goll (08/09/2012) [-]
your DM is a god amongst men. am am laughing so hard i am crying
User avatar #13 to #8 - kamusioso (08/10/2012) [-]
me too men, me too
User avatar #10 to #8 - zdawg (08/09/2012) [-]
Yeah well too bad he is Olidammara
User avatar #7 - thatnerdyguy (08/09/2012) [-]
Your DM was That Guy.
User avatar #9 to #7 - zdawg (08/09/2012) [-]
yeah, but lat least it makes for a good story
User avatar #5 - YllekNayr (08/09/2012) [-]
This is fantastic.
User avatar #6 to #5 - zdawg (08/09/2012) [-]
Why thank you!
#1 - wolfmac (08/09/2012) [-]
Oh dear Lord, i have not laughed that hard in a long time. But I would love to have that DM (Dungeon Master to anyone who doesnt know), and would find this amazing
User avatar #2 to #1 - zdawg (08/09/2012) [-]
well i have a few more stories like this because of him, and i will probably end up sharing them
#3 to #2 - wolfmac (08/09/2012) [-]
Oh for the love of g-d please do
User avatar #4 to #3 - zdawg (08/09/2012) [-]
will post right now
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