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Drunk cleric gay goblin pantsless dwarf

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Submitted: 08/09/2012
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#53 - zilance (08/10/2012) [+] (5 replies)
>Be DM
>Player is total noob
>Tell him his rolls fail for fun
>Things escalate quickly
>Cover him in Goblin Jizz
>Best Session Ever
#33 - auesis (08/10/2012) [+] (7 replies)
>Playing NWN online
>Roll a Wizard build
>Server is based on Diablo
>Server-end error
>Spells have no upper damage limit and just get more and more powerful
>I'm the only caster around
>Hit Level 30 (max)
>Unstoppable killing machine that beats everyone in one spell in PvP
>MFW I launch a Maximised Greater Magic Missile at another player
#37 to #35 - auesis (08/10/2012) [-]
Chaotic Evil.
User avatar #36 - penispenisthree (08/10/2012) [+] (1 reply)
my best moment in DnD. fight with some stone golems, I got this **** . charge in leroy jenkins style against 2 at once, roll too low first few rounds and fail horribly ending up with 2 hp, on my back with my shield broken and one of the golems standing over me hefting a large axe, party aids me from afar with spells and arrows, didnt do **** . I make one last attack my actual convo with the DM
Me "I bring my sword up and try to castrate the stone golem"
DM "hes a stone golem he dosent have any"
Me "i dont care im rolling to hit"
get a natural 20. (if you dont know, nat. 20's pretty much mean you break the rules of the game and automaticly manage to do whatever the **** you wanted to no matter how silly)
DM "*sigh* fine, you cut off his balls, roll for your armor save"
Me "what armor save?"
DM "if a stone golem had balls they'd be ******* huge, and you just cut them off, while he was standing over you, his balls just fell on you"
Me " **** " rolls for armor save and get a nat. 1
DM "his left nut falls right on your face and crushes your skull. You are dead."
me " **** "
#8 - goll (08/09/2012) [+] (2 replies)
your DM is a god amongst men. am am laughing so hard i am crying
#43 - ranndom (08/10/2012) [+] (3 replies)
< DM
< DM
#48 to #47 - zdawg (08/10/2012) [-]
and that, my friend, is just the tip of the iceberg of this *******
User avatar #28 - Lambda (08/10/2012) [+] (1 reply)
I've never played D&D, but it sounds hilarious.
User avatar #30 to #28 - zdawg (08/10/2012) [-]
it is a lot of fun, if you ever get a group of friends and can find the books i would recommend it
User avatar #54 - thereisaguy (08/10/2012) [+] (8 replies)
I just got into D&D a few months ago after years of interest but I had to move out of state for school. Does anyone know how to hunt down other players?
#51 - xyle (08/10/2012) [+] (1 reply)
last d&d game i played was with a group of 6, 3 of them were girls who always rolled their dice away from everyones prying eyes, and they ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS rolled either a 19 or a 20, without fail. when the dm said they had to roll on the table they bitched and quit playing.
User avatar #38 - romanprinsonerr (08/10/2012) [-]
I have a funny dnd story that I made a video for
#32 - anonymous (08/10/2012) [+] (1 reply)
Thats why I hate playing DnD. I'm not fond of western style fantasy games in the first place, but I really do find DnD boring and aggravatingely irritating at the same time. I don't like the idea that you have a 5% chance to get a 1 which could ruin whatever you were trying to do.
User avatar #26 - nousernameisleft (08/10/2012) [+] (3 replies)
>first time playing d&d
>get quest from old lady
>friend asks DM if he can roll to rape her
>DM "why the **** not?"
>rolls 20
>rapes lady
>rolls for damage
>rape does 3 damage
>proceed to kill lady after rape along with ladies brother who was in the room during the rape.
>best game ever
User avatar #27 to #26 - zdawg (08/10/2012) [-]
and that freedom is what makes D&D great
User avatar #19 - noamk (08/10/2012) [+] (1 reply)
God i loved playing as a dwarf.
when i was 16,i would do dwarven warrior dual wielding a mace and an axe.
No knee-caps were spared when i rolled the sacred D20. not even the dragons stood a chance.
Best moment of that campaign: whole group ****** up a white dragon's knees, ******* paladin killed it and stole my thunder, but i remember just how i was too short to aim for the knees, and busted every single dragon toe in sight. it was a good day for Brunor Fire-beard.
#18 - koditehpro (08/10/2012) [+] (1 reply)
**koditehpro rolled a random image posted in comment #9199 at Reaction Images **
Take this too
User avatar #15 - biohazardousone (08/10/2012) [+] (2 replies)
*Leaves a green thumb* Ill just leave this with you good sir
#14 - thebrony (08/10/2012) [+] (2 replies)
this isn't 4chan.
this isn't 4chan.
User avatar #22 to #14 - zdawg (08/10/2012) [-]
yes, but it is posted in the D&D channel
#11 - pineapplepeople (08/09/2012) [+] (1 reply)
Is your DM into midget porn by any chance?
User avatar #20 to #11 - zdawg (08/10/2012) [-]
you know, i'm not sure
#1 - wolfmac (08/09/2012) [+] (3 replies)
Oh dear Lord, i have not laughed that hard in a long time. But I would love to have that DM (Dungeon Master to anyone who doesnt know), and would find this amazing
User avatar #4 to #3 - zdawg (08/09/2012) [-]
will post right now
User avatar #7 - thatnerdyguy (08/09/2012) [+] (1 reply)
Your DM was That Guy.
User avatar #5 - YllekNayr (08/09/2012) [+] (1 reply)
This is fantastic.
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