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Drunk cleric gay goblin pantsless dwarf

Views: 12003
Favorited: 38
Submitted: 08/09/2012
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#53 - zilance (08/10/2012) [+] (5 replies)
>Be DM
>Player is total noob
>Tell him his rolls fail for fun
>Things escalate quickly
>Cover him in Goblin Jizz
>Best Session Ever
#33 - auesis (08/10/2012) [+] (7 replies)
>Playing NWN online
>Roll a Wizard build
>Server is based on Diablo
>Server-end error
>Spells have no upper damage limit and just get more and more powerful
>I'm the only caster around
>Hit Level 30 (max)
>Unstoppable killing machine that beats everyone in one spell in PvP
>MFW I launch a Maximised Greater Magic Missile at another player
#37 to #35 - auesis (08/10/2012) [-]
Chaotic Evil.
User avatar #36 - penispenisthree (08/10/2012) [+] (1 reply)
my best moment in DnD. fight with some stone golems, I got this shit. charge in leroy jenkins style against 2 at once, roll too low first few rounds and fail horribly ending up with 2 hp, on my back with my shield broken and one of the golems standing over me hefting a large axe, party aids me from afar with spells and arrows, didnt do shit. I make one last attack my actual convo with the DM
Me "I bring my sword up and try to castrate the stone golem"
DM "hes a stone golem he dosent have any"
Me "i dont care im rolling to hit"
get a natural 20. (if you dont know, nat. 20's pretty much mean you break the rules of the game and automaticly manage to do whatever the fuck you wanted to no matter how silly)
DM "*sigh* fine, you cut off his balls, roll for your armor save"
Me "what armor save?"
DM "if a stone golem had balls they'd be fucking huge, and you just cut them off, while he was standing over you, his balls just fell on you"
Me "fuck" rolls for armor save and get a nat. 1
DM "his left nut falls right on your face and crushes your skull. You are dead."
me "FUCK"
#8 - goll (08/09/2012) [+] (2 replies)
your DM is a god amongst men. am am laughing so hard i am crying
#43 - ranndom (08/10/2012) [+] (3 replies)
< DM
< DM
#48 to #47 - zdawg (08/10/2012) [-]
and that, my friend, is just the tip of the iceberg of this fuckery
User avatar #28 - Lambda ONLINE (08/10/2012) [+] (1 reply)
I've never played D&D, but it sounds hilarious.
User avatar #30 to #28 - zdawg (08/10/2012) [-]
it is a lot of fun, if you ever get a group of friends and can find the books i would recommend it
User avatar #54 - thereisaguy (08/10/2012) [+] (8 replies)
I just got into D&D a few months ago after years of interest but I had to move out of state for school. Does anyone know how to hunt down other players?
#51 - xyle (08/10/2012) [+] (1 reply)
last d&d game i played was with a group of 6, 3 of them were girls who always rolled their dice away from everyones prying eyes, and they ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS rolled either a 19 or a 20, without fail. when the dm said they had to roll on the table they bitched and quit playing.
User avatar #38 - romanprinsonerr (08/10/2012) [-]
I have a funny dnd story that I made a video for
#32 - anonymous (08/10/2012) [+] (1 reply)
Thats why I hate playing DnD. I'm not fond of western style fantasy games in the first place, but I really do find DnD boring and aggravatingely irritating at the same time. I don't like the idea that you have a 5% chance to get a 1 which could ruin whatever you were trying to do.
User avatar #26 - nousernameisleft (08/10/2012) [+] (3 replies)
>first time playing d&d
>get quest from old lady
>friend asks DM if he can roll to rape her
>DM "why the fuck not?"
>rolls 20
>rapes lady
>rolls for damage
>rape does 3 damage
>proceed to kill lady after rape along with ladies brother who was in the room during the rape.
>best game ever
User avatar #19 - noamk ONLINE (08/10/2012) [+] (1 reply)
God i loved playing as a dwarf.
when i was 16,i would do dwarven warrior dual wielding a mace and an axe.
No knee-caps were spared when i rolled the sacred D20. not even the dragons stood a chance.
Best moment of that campaign: whole group fucked up a white dragon's knees, fucking paladin killed it and stole my thunder, but i remember just how i was too short to aim for the knees, and busted every single dragon toe in sight. it was a good day for Brunor Fire-beard.
#18 - koditehpro (08/10/2012) [+] (1 reply)
**koditehpro rolled a random image posted in comment #9199 at Reaction Images **
Take this too
User avatar #15 - biohazardousone (08/10/2012) [+] (2 replies)
*Leaves a green thumb* Ill just leave this with you good sir
#14 - thebrony (08/10/2012) [+] (2 replies)
this isn't 4chan.
this isn't 4chan.
User avatar #22 to #14 - zdawg (08/10/2012) [-]
yes, but it is posted in the D&D channel
#11 - pineapplepeople ONLINE (08/09/2012) [+] (1 reply)
Is your DM into midget porn by any chance?
User avatar #20 to #11 - zdawg (08/10/2012) [-]
you know, i'm not sure
#1 - wolfmac (08/09/2012) [+] (3 replies)
Oh dear Lord, i have not laughed that hard in a long time. But I would love to have that DM (Dungeon Master to anyone who doesnt know), and would find this amazing
User avatar #4 to #3 - zdawg (08/09/2012) [-]
will post right now
User avatar #7 - thatnerdyguy (08/09/2012) [+] (1 reply)
Your DM was That Guy.
User avatar #5 - YllekNayr ONLINE (08/09/2012) [+] (1 reply)
This is fantastic.
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