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#2381751 - alexianary (12/28/2012) [-]
ITT: Who here knows me?
ITT: Who here knows me?
#2381852 to #2381781 - alexianary (12/28/2012) [-]
**alexianary hugs you**
Hi charlie, how are you?
#2381874 to #2381852 - imcharlie (12/28/2012) [-]
I'm good, how are you??
#2381944 to #2381874 - alexianary (12/28/2012) [-]
I'm fabulous~
Thanks for asking.
Watcha been up to?
#2381984 to #2381944 - imcharlie (12/28/2012) [-]
Nothing much, I've been up at my sister's house in Virginia for a week or so, it's pretty boring here though. I've just been watchin' Netflix and stuff. How about you?
#2382301 to #2381984 - alexianary (12/28/2012) [-]
I've been celebrating. A lot.
#2381773 to #2381751 - flutter **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#2381837 to #2381773 - alexianary (12/28/2012) [-]
I'm at home 24/7, the only way you'd know me is if you see me get groceries or go to the same school class as me.
I'm at home 24/7, the only way you'd know me is if you see me get groceries or go to the same school class as me.
#2381855 to #2381837 - flutter **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#2382022 to #2381993 - flutter **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#2382442 to #2382022 - alexianary (12/28/2012) [-]
I'm doing great~
How about you?
sorry for the late reply
#2382514 to #2382442 - flutter **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#2382598 to #2382514 - alexianary (12/29/2012) [-]
That's great to hear~ What have you been up to?
#2382619 to #2382598 - flutter **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#2382634 to #2382619 - alexianary (12/29/2012) [-]
I'm on holidays, so besides celebrating about everyday, nothing else.
#2382666 to #2382634 - flutter **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#2382813 to #2382666 - alexianary (12/29/2012) [-]
Why new years?
#2382963 to #2382813 - flutter **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#2381772 to #2381751 - lordbutthurt (12/28/2012) [-]
LordButthurt, he told me.
#2381860 to #2381772 - alexianary (12/28/2012) [-]
You know him? Tell him I said hi.
#2383903 to #2381860 - lordbutthurt (12/29/2012) [-]
The opposite?
Why would you say/think that?
#2384289 to #2383903 - alexianary (12/29/2012) [-]
It's just a long story.
And I'm afraid if I tell you, you'll avoid talking to me or think I'm mentally unstable.
#2384375 to #2384289 - lordbutthurt (12/29/2012) [-]
Believe me, I've met people here that said the same.
But I'm just not someone who pushes others away, just because of something like that.
It's up to you though, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable.
Just remember, I'll be there to catch you if you fall.
#2384811 to #2384375 - alexianary (12/29/2012) [-]
I'm just going to tell you the most general problem. Because the whole package of my problems is a reaaally long story, it's not something that pops up one day and bothers you for a few weeks, it's pretty much something I've been carrying on my back since I was 7.
I don't like talking to people about my problems, but at the same time I want to scream it out loud or have someone to listen. My will not to bother anyone with my problems is greater than my urge to talk, but at some points I break and show off a piece of my sadness, then I realize what I did and if anyone asks me how I am, I'd say I'm better than ever and not talk about it to anyone again. Especially to thread because I'm supposed to be that happy/nice/innocent person, which I am most definitely not, I'm not happy, I'm not nice, I don't even know what nice is, I just act polite and hope nobody spots the difference, and I am far from innocent.
#2385141 to #2384811 - lordbutthurt (12/29/2012) [-]
Why do you hide behind that mask though?
It's good that you are nice, but why put a mask on at all, you should really rather talk about your sadness and where it comes from.
Suppressing thoughts and feelings like that is never good.
I'm not saying you should not be nice, but you should try and make it genuine.
I hope that makes sense, it's quite late, as you know.
#2385866 to #2385141 - alexianary (12/29/2012) [-]
I hide behind multiple masks. I've been doing it for so long I don't even know who I am anymore.
I don't talk because I don't trust. I've trusted people so many times and they always find new ways to break it, with each new person, a more creative way. Last time I trusted someone was 3 years ago, and it ended horribly, it broke me physically and mentally, pretty much like amanda todd, except I didn't do anything bizarre. And that's when I lost my sense of trust. There are a lot of other things I lost, my sense of what's right or wrong, I can still find out, but only by using a trick, I don't feel pity, I've tried, and partially because of that, I don't like talking to people about my problems, because if I can't feel sorry for anyone, neither should anyone feel sorry for me. I can't get excited, and I'm starting to close myself from loving anyone. Because all I've ever gotten from it is pain, scars and tears. Everyone leaves or neglects, and I feel as if it makes me insane, and it has, multiple times.
You know what I find weird? I can't stand loving or happy people, I don't like being around someone who's constantly excited or nice/sweet or innocent, but that's what I act like the majority of the time I'm on thread because people appreciate it, I don't understand it.
I have nothing against you though, you're one of my favorite users, even though I'm not going to deny that I didn't exactly love you when I first saw you.
#2386087 to #2385866 - lordbutthurt (12/29/2012) [-]
wow, you are a very complex person Lexi and you've been through a lot.
I don't mind that at all. I still feel sorry for, even though you think I shouldn't.
I also think that you should try and not close yourself from loving anyone, it might have gone wrong in the past, but there's always light in the darkness, no matter what happens.
That you don't like loving or happy people is not weird at all, I think, as they might show you something that you think you cannot have yourself, but I'm sure you can.
It could also be because it reminds you of that mask that you are wearing ...

I'm sorry but I'm going to bed now Lexi. If you like, we can continue this conversation tomorrow.
Goodnight and rest well~
#2381908 to #2381860 - lordbutthurt (12/28/2012) [-]
He says Hi back and asks what you are up to.
#2381977 to #2381908 - alexianary (12/28/2012) [-]
I'm just threading.
Could you ask him to come talk to me in person, I don't want to bother you by making you pass on the messages.
#2382031 to #2381977 - lordbutthurt (12/28/2012) [-]
He's right here now.

Cool, me too and chatting and editing stuff in GIMP/Photoshop.
#2382369 to #2382031 - alexianary (12/28/2012) [-]
sorry for late reply, I was bathroom
I'm thinking of either watching an anime or continuing far cry, jebus far cry's addicting, I woke up at 9:00 AM and played until midnight without any breaks, now my q button fell off and it won't go back on, that's when I stopped to thread.
Watcha editing?
#2382506 to #2382369 - lordbutthurt (12/29/2012) [-]
Just some gifs and images, like this one.
I'm kinda bored.

And yeah I played pretty much 30 hours straight when I got FarCry, only interrupted it for thread hehe.
#2382581 to #2382506 - alexianary (12/29/2012) [-]
If you're bored you could always far cry
If you're bored you could always far cry
#2382596 to #2382581 - lordbutthurt (12/29/2012) [-]
I would, but don't have it on my laptop.
#2382616 to #2382596 - alexianary (12/29/2012) [-]
You could watch black butler.
#2382685 to #2382616 - lordbutthurt (12/29/2012) [-]
My internet here is so slow, remember?
#2382829 to #2382685 - alexianary (12/29/2012) [-]
oh riiiiiiiight.

Could I ask you something?
#2382918 to #2382878 - alexianary (12/29/2012) [-]
And you'll answer 100% honestly, even if it means being offensive?
#2382957 to #2382918 - lordbutthurt (12/29/2012) [-]
Yes, I will answer honestly, I promise
Though I doubt there will be need to be offensive.
#2383014 to #2382957 - alexianary (12/29/2012) [-]
Do you think I act...weird as in too nosy/fake/rude sometimes? If you could choose 3 words to describe me, what would they be?
#2383117 to #2383014 - lordbutthurt (12/29/2012) [-]
Nice, fun and cute.

I don't think you act fake, you are really fun to talk to and an interesting personality.
I've also never seen you being rude in any way.
#2383194 to #2383117 - alexianary (12/29/2012) [-]
**alexianary blushes**
interesting as in?
#2383264 to #2383194 - lordbutthurt (12/29/2012) [-]
Well, we talked a lot about your friends and what you are doing with them, what they ask of you. As well as about your family.
You also draw really good and enjoy playing games.
#2383814 to #2383264 - alexianary (12/29/2012) [-]
Sorry if this came sudden, I just sometimes check from time to time how I am, but I can't really recognize it myself so I ask others.
Also one tiny secret I hope I can trust you with because it's been clawing at the back of my head for years now, I'm probably the opposite of everything you think I am.
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