When I was little, I used to have the Hot Wheels Car Wash. On either side of the device there where two pumps. One pump you would fill with water, the other side you would fill with any soap you could find.
So, being little I never could lift this thing up into the sink to have it filled, nor did I even think about asking my mom and dad for a glass of water. So, I decided I was going to pee into the water pump. To my surprise, it worked very well.
This went on for days. My victim would drive up into the car wash, only to be flooded with my soapy piss, and then later scrubbed off by 2 foam rollers. I am the master commander, literally playing in my own piss for hours a day.
To hide the fact that I was playing in the piss, I would act as if I had only peed my pants, causing the piss aroma that infused with everything in my room.
Feeling like a champion, I took things a step further when I had ran out of hand soap for the second pump. I remembered making pizza dough with my dad once, so I went into the kitchen, got a bag of flower, and proceeded with my master plan. First, I would pour the flower into the pump, then I would piss on the flower creating a thick material with the same viscosity of the soap. This could not fail. I began vigorously pumping my piss dough through the contraption, and then watching as it slowly oozed out of the nozzles all over my hot wheel cars, just to be drowned in piss showers.
However.. this is the part where my empire had fell. Some of the piss dough had solidified inside of the tubes, clogging my contraption. I remember very clearly the exact moment I figured this out. I had gone to press the pump down when the cap had burst off from the pressure, sending a tidal wave of piss dough on a bukkakke mission. I was covered in my own piss bread.
I began furiously crying. My perfect car wash empire was ruined! Startled by my crying, my parents entered the room.. What they saw they can never live down. I was lying on my back with piss bread all over my face, while laying in a pile of piss from when I had become frustrated and pissed myself crying.
Two things came out of this:
1. Every time I had to use the restroom I needed to ring a gay little bell on the wall.
2. When the movie Shark Tale came out, I was terrified. A movie about a car wash.
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