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Embarrasing stories thread

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Views: 35823
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Submitted: 04/25/2012
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Comments(291):

[ 291 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#148 - anon (04/25/2012) [-]
>Be 45
>Son's doing dishes
>Tells me we need new soap
>Why?
>Tells me it smells like semen.
> I smell it, it smells like soap. What a dumbass.
> Mfw I heard him masturbating an hour ago
#141 - Wumbologist (04/25/2012) [-]
>be me, programming class freshmen year of high school   
>playing "the scary maze game" since I'd finished my project   
>the girl jumps out at me   
>i fall for it completely   
>with newfound retard strength, i shriek savagely, ripping off my headphones in a wild panic   
>i turn around and realize i'm in the middle of class   
>everyone's looking at me, either amazed or stifling laughter   
>teacher coolly comments "And that's why we stay on task."
>be me, programming class freshmen year of high school
>playing "the scary maze game" since I'd finished my project
>the girl jumps out at me
>i fall for it completely
>with newfound retard strength, i shriek savagely, ripping off my headphones in a wild panic
>i turn around and realize i'm in the middle of class
>everyone's looking at me, either amazed or stifling laughter
>teacher coolly comments "And that's why we stay on task."
User avatar #150 to #141 - drnothing (04/25/2012) [-]
So. Much. Win.
+35
#26 - squrrillyadamss **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#106 - slumberdonkey (04/25/2012) [-]
>be me
>be 17
>at lake house with girlfriend
>we fall asleep in my bed because family is out drinking
>i get horny
>start fingering her because i thought she was awake
>i finish
>car goes by outside and wakes her up
>she starts freaking out thinking she "sleep masturbated"
>mfw
#98 - Imbtrtenu (04/25/2012) [-]
Mfw people tell stories online and say Mfw and don't use a picture.
#95 - dirtyhornets (04/25/2012) [-]
>7th grade
>holding in massive fart
>book falls off desk
>challengeaccepted.jpg
>clenching my ass cheeks together i go for the book
>let out the biggest loudest fart ive ever heard
>person next to me falls off his chair in fright
>everyone knows it was me


#162 to #95 - atait (04/25/2012) [-]
the same thing happened to my friend as well
#20 - saxal (04/25/2012) [-]
>be 9 at a catholic youth camp
>hundreds of people gathered in the same place
>have bladder infection
>have to take a piss
>ask Counselor take me to the bathroom
>says no
>piss in my pants in front of everyone
>pretend to faint
>mfw


+32
#13 - fappi **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #232 - PkBoolet (04/25/2012) [-]
DIRECTIONS TO CAUSE A CATASTROPHE

1. Go to beach
2. Dig two holes in wet sand, 1 ft. deep, width is negligible,
but they must be 1 ft. apart from each other
3. dig a tunnel under the top layer of sand, connecting the two holes.
fill holes back up with sand, but make sure the tunnel stays intact.
4. Shoot up the hotel you're staying at
User avatar #286 to #232 - krometothadome (04/26/2012) [-]
I dont get it.
#212 - CakemanRPG (04/25/2012) [-]
> Be 17   
> Ending senior year   
> get in my car and go to first raunchy highschool house party   
> Have to park 3 blocks away due to crowded streets   
> Walk thru door   
> partyhard.jpeg   
> grind up on drunk chick   
> she doesn't care, she's so drunk she enjoys it   
> Suddenly horny   
> takes me up to bedroom   
> drunk sex is better than no sex   
> we get naked go to town   
> nailing her for 35 seconds   
> gonna cum   
> BIFF   
> her angry boyfriend kicks down door   
> Feelscaredman.jpeg
> Be 17
> Ending senior year
> get in my car and go to first raunchy highschool house party
> Have to park 3 blocks away due to crowded streets
> Walk thru door
> partyhard.jpeg
> grind up on drunk chick
> she doesn't care, she's so drunk she enjoys it
> Suddenly horny
> takes me up to bedroom
> drunk sex is better than no sex
> we get naked go to town
> nailing her for 35 seconds
> gonna cum
> BIFF
> her angry boyfriend kicks down door
> Feelscaredman.jpeg
User avatar #213 to #212 - CakemanRPG (04/25/2012) [-]
> drags me out of bed
> climax ALL OVER HIM
> He's pissed
> I brace for impact
> dragged forcefully out of house and severely beaten until I black out
> I wake up in dumpster. NAKED.
> Ashamed, I begin sprinting back to my car, still naked.
> finally get to my car, its locked
> realize that my keys, wallet, and cellphone is STILL with my clothes at the party
> GODDAMMIT
> Sprint 3 blocks naked back to party
> cut thru backyard so I won't be seen
> I hop a fence....
> BAM. I run into some cops.
> I desperately plead my case
> they still arrest me for public indecency
> spend the night in jail, w/out any clothes

So funny junk, how was YOUR first time?
+6
#237 to #213 - kelciekupkakes **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#127 - sopsop (04/25/2012) [-]
>reading all these comments
>mfw when I realize they can all be summed up as "I shat"

User avatar #119 - misterklass (04/25/2012) [-]
>Be buying new car
>Find an awesome BMW at the dealership
>Take it for a test drive
>Need to ****
>Hurry back
>Flashing blue lights in rear view mirror
> ************
>Panic and **** my pants
>Proceed to pull over
>Cop Approaches the car
>roll down window
>Officer smells ****
>NOPE.jpg
> ******** .jpg
>Go back to dealership
>"i don't like it"
>Leave in a hurry and never return.
User avatar #90 - mrfourtysevenman (04/25/2012) [-]
>be 9
>its my 9th birthday
>my uncle gives me a present
>it was just what i wanted!
>somethings wrong
>its not what i wanted
>its his penis
>there was no present
>my uncle raped me on my 9th birthday
#47 - sizabledoor (04/25/2012) [-]
>7th grade
> In mass
> Have to fart
>try to make it silent but ass erupts giant fart
> everyone hears it including priest
> MFW i smelt what i had delt
User avatar #22 - italianrambo (04/25/2012) [-]
>be 17
>making dinner at gf's house
>eating dinner with parents
>gf and mom start talking about basketball players
>talk about their body
>dad looks at me
>"See, we can't say stuff like that. We get hit"
>Mom replies "Thats because you talk about boobs and butts"
>Dad says something about gf's boobs
>Mom asks me what I liker about their daughter
>I turn to look at her
>I'm staring right at her chest
>Only word in my mind is BOOBS
>Dont say anything, just blush
>Everyone laughs, never answer question.
>Mom proceeds to tell every family member at reunion
#153 to #22 - XxPieIsGoodxX (04/25/2012) [-]
>the mom's face when
#6 - haydn (04/25/2012) [-]
This image has expired
>Be about 7-9 years old
>Have a bladder condition
>Queuing up for a ride with my brother
> *********************
>Tell older bro I need toilet badly
>He tells me to hold on
>Get in ride, it's a double sharer where one sits in front
>Halfway through I violently fill the cart with hot steamy piss
>Not the worst part
>Grandmother feels for me and says I brought some spare clothes
>She forced me to wear her spare knickers for the rest of the day
>Mfw I wore my grandmothers underwear for an entire day.
#8 to #6 - pikpikmin (04/25/2012) [-]
MMmm that piss
MMmm that piss
#9 to #8 - pikpikmin (04/25/2012) [-]
Comment Picture

#62 to #8 - funnymidget (04/25/2012) [-]
Combo Repair?
Combo Repair?
User avatar #123 - misterklass (04/25/2012) [-]
This one's true.

>Be in7th grade
>Recess, Be outside chilling
>Bell rings, Proceed to go inside
>Decide to fart before going in so people wont have to smell it.
>Shart.
> ************
>run to bathroom
>Need to get **** out of underwear
>No toilet paper
> **** it, use hand.
>Get most of the **** out of the underwear
>Go to wash my hands
> **** no soap
>Decide to smear it on the mirror..noone will ever know it was me
>Someone walks into bathroom
>Sees my smearing **** on mirror
>He runs to the principles office and tells on me
>Sit in principles office smelling like **** with my parents for 2 hours trying to explain why i vandalized the bathroom with **** .
#57 - blackcorsair (04/25/2012) [-]
>bored as **** at home
>browsing FJ
>see newfag trying some green text
>MFW OP doesn't know how to use MFW
User avatar #94 to #57 - darealslim (04/25/2012) [-]
>go on funnyjunk
>see's newfag trying to use greentext?
>.......
>Da fuq
please explain what you mean
+1
#137 to #94 - salmonofwar **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #139 to #137 - darealslim (04/25/2012) [-]
ok i only do it if im telling a story or using an order of speech kind thing i dont go on 4chan
+1
#142 to #139 - salmonofwar **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #27 - foelkera (04/25/2012) [-]
>Age 10
>get first boner
>have to piss
>forget I have massive throbbing erection
>Blast self in mouth with urine
#40 to #27 - qwertyqwertyqwert (04/25/2012) [-]
This is very relevant to my interests!
#124 - ltpraptor (04/25/2012) [-]
>be me, 4 years old   
>at the carnival   
>dad has to pee really bad   
>dad takes me to porto-potty   
>dad starts peeing in side urinal thing   
>I look into the toilet   
>blue looks cool   
>jump into the blue   
>			****		 everywhere   
>Daddy, there's poop in here.   
>MFW
>be me, 4 years old
>at the carnival
>dad has to pee really bad
>dad takes me to porto-potty
>dad starts peeing in side urinal thing
>I look into the toilet
>blue looks cool
>jump into the blue
> **** everywhere
>Daddy, there's poop in here.
>MFW
#177 to #124 - chinchillin (04/25/2012) [-]
<slumdog millionaire
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