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#220 - lollane
Reply +104
(06/27/2014) [-]
Okay *******, story time. I work at a restaurant that is pretty large so instead of being a waiter I just run the food to tables and do dishes and ****. I guess you could say I'm a bus boy but we just call it being a runner. Anyway.
>Be working at restaurant for a year and a half now, know everyone, really close
>Friends with kitchen staff so sometimes I go back there and make my own creations
>Well today I was feeling like eating a burrito
>come up with an idea
>Mahi burrito (I work at a seafood place, most people don't know mahi is fish)
>we usually use the mahi for small tacos
>**** that **** I need more
>I'm a grown ass man
>8.oz of grilled mahi, sour cream, rice, pico de gallo, lettuce, black beans
>debate on whether or not to get beans, decide to go for it
>tell the kitchen of my plan, we create the beast
>guy on the grill accidentally makes two packs of mahi
>"sorry anon, it may be too much"
>it will never be too much
>A ******* pound of fish in this burrito god damn
#221 to #220 - lollane
Reply +137
(06/27/2014) [-]
>i see it in its full glory, finished and ready to eat
>round and thick like something that is round and thick
>dripping like a faucet
>I take a bite, and the burrito covers my mouth with its love
>most delicious burrito I have ever had
>get half way through, stomach is doing flips
>manage to stomach the whole thing
>go back to work like nothing happened
>an hour later, I feel it in my loins, the beast fights for freedom
>usain bolt it to the bathroom
>before I can even sit down it erupts like a cajun volcano
>asshole is spewing fire, can physically feel my asshole sweating
>try to flush after the brown monsoon has ended, ******* handle breaks
>leave bathroom immediately and wipe sweat from face
>tell my boss about the bathroom and blame it on the ham planet who went in before me who had already left
>believes me
>makes a co-worker clean it
>MFW I was poopetrator all along
#627 to #221 - oubliette
Reply +3
(06/28/2014) [-]
">round and thick like something that is round and thick "

+1 at that point for me
#690 to #627 - kantieno
Reply +1
(06/28/2014) [-]
I'm glad others found that funny as well, out of all the things, it keeps making me laugh
#233 to #221 - ladyfantabulous
Reply +14
(06/27/2014) [-]
You get one thumb for the story, one for the word 'poopetrator'
#310 to #233 - thatonesouthernkid
Reply +9
(06/27/2014) [-]
I liked how he said, "round and thick, like something round and thick". If that isn't the best simile I've ever seen, then i don't know what is.
#375 to #310 - ladyfantabulous
Reply +2
(06/27/2014) [-]
Haha yeah, how did I not notice that? XD
#415 to #375 - fcrocker
Reply +3
(06/28/2014) [-]
Please don't 'XD'
Not here. Not anywhere.