no problem. . I will not! You must masturbate once a day (minimum) and if you forget, you die. You become immortal but. I see someone had a loose definition of immortal. masturbating will You press the button com willyoupresstheb
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Comments(295):

[ 295 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#1 - minelava (04/16/2014) [-]
I see someone had a loose definition of immortal.
User avatar #246 to #1 - icameheretotroll (04/17/2014) [-]
The definition of immortal is fine, you just lose your immortality when you stop masturbating
#250 to #246 - minelava (04/17/2014) [-]
Maybe you should message the OP so that he can change it to actually say that on the next one.
#65 to #1 - beerholder ONLINE (04/17/2014) [-]
is that Martin Johnson?
#80 to #1 - schmuxy ONLINE (04/17/2014) [-]
fine then
User avatar #172 to #80 - cards (04/17/2014) [-]
That'd be a nice card to get rid of defenders.
User avatar #232 to #172 - krazzykyle (04/17/2014) [-]
its a good card to get rid of everything
User avatar #262 to #232 - cards (04/17/2014) [-]
Except high damage cards...
User avatar #29 - kodarobo (04/17/2014) [-]
so nothing different, I'd just be immortal
#85 - xfrankie (04/17/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#46 - artvandelay (04/17/2014) [-]
Poor wording, I choose not to masturbate, no consequences.
Poor wording, I choose not to masturbate, no consequences.
User avatar #51 to #46 - lilhanna (04/17/2014) [-]
princess bride. Great movie for anyone with the time to care.
User avatar #217 to #51 - usaexplain (04/17/2014) [-]
I have the time to care, it's one of my favorite movies of all times. Telling people who have never heard of it that it's your favorite movie doesn't always end well, considering the name of it.
User avatar #288 to #217 - lilhanna (04/18/2014) [-]
True, but to be honest I was like the kid throughout the whole movie. Even the kissing scene XD
User avatar #289 to #288 - usaexplain (04/18/2014) [-]
As was I, but generally when you tell people that you like a movie called "The Princess Bride" they respond with, "Eww, that sounds like a girly chick flick you homo."
User avatar #290 to #289 - lilhanna (04/18/2014) [-]
Until they really see it. I learned to judge after certain point.
#64 - nighthawxx (04/17/2014) [-]
I already do this everyday so immortallity is jusy a bonus
I already do this everyday so immortallity is jusy a bonus
#63 - aherorising ONLINE (04/17/2014) [-]
so I'll just become immortal?
so I'll just become immortal?
#26 - dameush (04/17/2014) [-]
I gotta say though.. there are days when I just don't have the enthusiasm
#132 to #26 - robotcomander (04/17/2014) [-]
Once most people think about it, they don't have the enthusiasm to be immortal either.
#2 - bigjinfinity ONLINE (04/16/2014) [-]
>immortal   
>die if you don't masturbate   
Isn't that a paradox?
>immortal
>die if you don't masturbate
Isn't that a paradox?
User avatar #86 to #2 - joaomartins (04/17/2014) [-]
It's not a paradox, it's just something stupid...

This is a paradox : This sentence is fake.
User avatar #209 to #2 - TittyCinnamon (04/17/2014) [-]
why do people use this gif
User avatar #141 to #2 - instalation (04/17/2014) [-]
It's not if you don't masterbate. It's if you forget to.
#148 to #2 - Rascal (04/17/2014) [-]
stupid ******* gif
User avatar #13 to #2 - choobe ONLINE (04/16/2014) [-]
No. If you don't masturbate you regain your mortality, and die.

You're immortal under certain conditions.
User avatar #126 to #13 - rumpelstilzchen (04/17/2014) [-]
Then I already am immortal under certain conditions.
I'm immortal as long as I don't do things that will ******* kill me.
User avatar #243 to #126 - PanicAttack (04/17/2014) [-]
Living counts as something that will kill you (eventually).
User avatar #14 to #13 - bigjinfinity ONLINE (04/16/2014) [-]
Actually, that is not how this button thing works. The good thing doesn't just work if the bad thing happens, they work simultaneously.
User avatar #15 to #14 - choobe ONLINE (04/16/2014) [-]
I see no rules on the site.
User avatar #16 to #15 - bigjinfinity ONLINE (04/16/2014) [-]
And therefore the immortaly isn't limited.
User avatar #18 to #16 - choobe ONLINE (04/16/2014) [-]
This is a problem of definitions. But I will do one last example:


IF there was a God, and he made you immortal, couldn't he take the immortality away?
User avatar #19 to #18 - bigjinfinity ONLINE (04/16/2014) [-]
We are really overthinking this.
User avatar #20 to #19 - choobe ONLINE (04/16/2014) [-]
Yeah. It's one of the situations where "agree to disagree" is a legitimate conclusion.
User avatar #17 to #16 - bigjinfinity ONLINE (04/16/2014) [-]
"imortaly" wow, i don't even know how
#163 - ButtonFly ONLINE (04/17/2014) [-]
What happens if you consciously decide not to?
What happens if you consciously decide not to?
User avatar #166 to #163 - sabcy (04/17/2014) [-]
**sabcy rolls 76** you die
User avatar #174 to #166 - ButtonFly ONLINE (04/17/2014) [-]
That's only if I forget.
User avatar #192 to #174 - playerdous (04/17/2014) [-]
Good point, just remember every day. Don't even need to do it but why not
#73 - therealslimdavey (04/17/2014) [-]
**therealslimdavey rolls 3** number of times i jack it per day
**therealslimdavey rolls 3** number of times i jack it per day
User avatar #202 to #73 - jefferyboomhauer (04/17/2014) [-]
Breakfast, lunch, and dinner
User avatar #225 to #73 - swampwaterjack (04/17/2014) [-]
**swampwaterjack rolls 20** those are rookie numbers
User avatar #95 to #73 - exclamation (04/17/2014) [-]
**exclamation rolls 3** And for me... this number!
User avatar #127 to #73 - funnyjunkforlife ONLINE (04/17/2014) [-]
amature
User avatar #82 to #73 - youreminenow (04/17/2014) [-]
**youreminenow rolls 884,421,664** A god, I am.
User avatar #102 to #73 - tonkkax (04/17/2014) [-]
**tonkkax rolls 5** + 2 = 6
User avatar #103 to #102 - tonkkax (04/17/2014) [-]
I was never good at maths
User avatar #177 - cazabrow ONLINE (04/17/2014) [-]
I haven't missed a day of masturbation in 9 years...
#181 to #177 - megaicemario (04/17/2014) [-]
filthy casual
#161 - imagamer (04/17/2014) [-]
> be laying on your death bed
> your friends, family, children all there
>none of them want you to die
>begging you not to go
>begging you to jerk off
#147 - extremezone (04/17/2014) [-]
I actually laughed when I read ''if you forget''
I actually laughed when I read ''if you forget''
User avatar #27 - dunkleosteus (04/17/2014) [-]
so if I'm unconscious for more than 24 hours I die?
#117 - mreichenberg (04/17/2014) [-]
SOLD!
#24 - brenten (04/17/2014) [-]
sounds good
sounds good
#25 to #24 - ketsianto (04/17/2014) [-]
well with a speed like that you shouldnt have a problem
#28 to #25 - itsthatguyagain (04/17/2014) [-]
But what if he rips his dick off with that speed?
User avatar #150 - drtrousersnake (04/17/2014) [-]
become a superhero. go up to criminals with your dick in your hand. When the shoot you, laugh and whack it faster. Make them regret their lifestyle choice
User avatar #152 to #150 - heartbleed ONLINE (04/17/2014) [-]
Immortality is not impermeability, you can die if you get shot, you just don't die from your body failing you out of age,
User avatar #193 to #152 - capslockrage (04/17/2014) [-]
There is no set definition, it could easily mean you can't die from being shot.

Maybe it hurts your body but you don't die from it.
User avatar #280 to #193 - heartbleed ONLINE (04/17/2014) [-]
I think a show did that. You could loose your arm, but it wouldn't heal and you wouldn't die. So you were stuck with a missing arm and an open wound that you can feel hurting for the rest of your life. Fun.
User avatar #283 to #280 - capslockrage (04/17/2014) [-]
In the justice league cartoon show there is a character named vandal savage that was born in the caveman era 50,000 years ago and because of his lack of caveman knowledge he slept next to this radioactive meteor that landed and ended up being immortal. He can be torn apart into a million pieces and his body will fix itself
User avatar #167 to #152 - drtrousersnake (04/17/2014) [-]
immortal: not capable of dying
User avatar #171 to #167 - heartbleed ONLINE (04/17/2014) [-]
Immortality: "the ability to live forever; eternal life"
Invincibility: "indomitability: the property being difficult or impossible to defeat"
The way immortality would work in reality is it would top your DNA from getting corrupted, not by allowing you to not die from disease or a bullet.
#36 - underlois (04/17/2014) [-]
>Impling I don't fap already once and sometimes more than once a day..

I still wouldn't press the button..cus **** having to live with all my loved ones death's
#41 to #36 - xcoreyx (04/17/2014) [-]
But then if you had endured too much pain and you were ready to die you could just go a day without jerking off
User avatar #84 to #41 - viperish (04/17/2014) [-]
>you could just go a day without jerking off
User avatar #49 to #41 - underlois (04/17/2014) [-]
Thus making the button pressing useless since it doesn't grant you immortality..
User avatar #52 to #49 - youngneil (04/17/2014) [-]
It's immortality without the commitment.
#98 to #52 - jazzytheferret (04/17/2014) [-]
sounds great to me, I'm a procrastinating twatsickle
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