no i didnt cheat... god. nothing against christians, it's just funny. Have you Ever lied to get nut of an awkward situation - was or no? I once he: - of a girl‘
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no i didnt cheat... god

nothing against christians, it's just funny

Have you Ever lied to get nut of
an awkward situation -
was or no?
I once he: - of a girl‘
whated toiger husband _ _ __ _
Views: 44165
Favorited: 72
Submitted: 12/09/2013
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User avatar #66 - doctorprofessornv (12/10/2013) [-]
Christian, still lol'd
User avatar #65 - darksideofthebeast ONLINE (12/10/2013) [-]
All of these butthurt christians...

#63 - dickticklerluv ONLINE (12/10/2013) [-]
Ooh original and so edgy
Ooh original and so edgy
User avatar #60 - randomserb (12/10/2013) [-]
Joke's been around for decades.
Comment has been flagged   Hide Hide All +Fav (0) Reply 0
#59 - orrisic (12/10/2013) [-]
Flagged Comment Picture
This image was flagged 12/10/2013
#54 - anonymous (12/10/2013) [-]
oh boy, another autistic unfunny british comedian who forces his atheist beliefs down everyones throats
and I thought ricky gervais was enough.
User avatar #56 to #54 - anonymoose (12/10/2013) [-]
Something tells me you don't know what autism is.
#42 - sunzet has deleted their comment [-]
#68 to #67 - slothmaster (12/10/2013) [-]
Kill la Kill.
It's ******* great.
#69 to #68 - spanishninja ONLINE (12/10/2013) [-]
#43 to #42 - sunzet has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #46 to #43 - kanduhuskedetder (12/10/2013) [-]
You know... you can delete comments... could also delete your account.
User avatar #41 - thrakerzad (12/10/2013) [-]
except that she didn't have a boyfriend until after she got pregnant, and he was sent by god to make it look like she wasn't having unwed sex
User avatar #58 to #41 - anonymoose (12/10/2013) [-]
"When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost." - Matthew 1:18

She was betrothed to Joseph, just not married yet.
User avatar #51 to #41 - anssi (12/10/2013) [-]
#38 - helenwheels ONLINE (12/10/2013) [-]
This guy is the king of stolen jokes.
User avatar #34 - puscasu (12/10/2013) [-]
ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ ( ͡° ʖ ͡°) ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็

#28 - esmebuffay (12/10/2013) [-]
Carr making fun of religion again, something new and interesting for him. There comes a point when it become more mean spirited than anything else.
User avatar #61 to #28 - anonymoose (12/10/2013) [-]
Jimmy Carr's comedy centres around shock and taboo subjects. It's the style of comedy he's best at, he's not going to do a style of comedy he's uncomfortable with just to please people who don't like him.
User avatar #57 to #28 - tobistrigoivii ONLINE (12/10/2013) [-]
It's almost as if he is behaving like "nothing is sacred".
User avatar #74 to #57 - esmebuffay (12/10/2013) [-]
It's almost like he's beating a dead horse.
#27 - negernizze (12/10/2013) [-]
how come only 7% had done it?
User avatar #23 - monkeysniper (12/10/2013) [-]
The people acting like they are so offended by my opinion those looking to be offended deserve to find it
#19 - kez (12/10/2013) [-]
So many ****** everywhere, its so sad.

The number of people who say they are offended by jokes like it means something.

Its a joke, who gives a **** . No one cares you're offended.

If someone was offended everytime you used the letter "e" in a sentence would you care? It means **** all, stop acting like a little bitch.
User avatar #39 to #19 - helenwheels ONLINE (12/10/2013) [-]
I don't see any one being offended. I see people saying it was a cheap, easy, obvious shot.

Them pointing that out seems to offend you.
Hi, I'm kez, Jimmy Carr is definitely NOT my man crush
User avatar #50 to #39 - TexMex (12/10/2013) [-]
How is it cheap? He doesn't attack anyone personally in any way, there's no insults or nothing.
User avatar #79 to #50 - helenwheels ONLINE (12/10/2013) [-]
Cheap means its been done a million times before.
User avatar #82 to #79 - TexMex (12/10/2013) [-]
Have you watched Jimmy Carr before? Like a lot?
#33 to #19 - anonymous (12/10/2013) [-]
Of course it doesn't mean anything lol XD it's christians who are getting offended.

If it were gays or jews being offended you'd be crying about how intolerant we are. Like 90 % neoliberal ***** on this site.
#15 - tanisrapedmygoat (12/10/2013) [-]
I like Jimmy Carr's stand up, but his atheism gets to me. I'm a christian but I have to say logic points towards atheism or being agnostic. But I think its just a cheap joke. Like part of religion is the fact that you can have faith. No need for proof. It's the idea that there is something that cant be explained that helps drive faith. And he is like pointing at it going, no logic haha. Its just the fact that I think its an easy joke. Not clever, not insightful. It just feels lazy. It's the fact that its his go to insult as well just annoys me. Sorry for the rant.
User avatar #62 to #15 - IamSofaKingdom (12/10/2013) [-]
I think it is funny that the origin of the universe is a complete unknown so that even those that believe purely in atheistic or agnostic still need faith in their views towards it but it is always the first thing they point out in traditional faiths.
User avatar #48 to #15 - TexMex (12/10/2013) [-]
I've never seen an Atheist making a religion-based joke without some Christian or something showing up saying that "It's not a good joke, it's not the I'm offended, It's just bad"
That's ******** , learn how to take a joke.
User avatar #76 to #48 - tanisrapedmygoat (12/10/2013) [-]
I don't mind the joke. I just get annoyed that Jimmy Carr seems to do it so often. I just feel its lazy that its his go to joke. You can make fun of my religion all you want. That's your right.
User avatar #81 to #76 - TexMex (12/10/2013) [-]
Okay, I see what you're saying but if you know Jimmy Carr as a comedian, you know that he always acts very offensive and rude. He shouldn't change his entire style just because people can't take his jokes. Jimmy Carr says **** about all people, he mocks them as **** and that's what makes him who he is.
User avatar #97 to #81 - tanisrapedmygoat (12/11/2013) [-]
I get his comedy and actually enjoy it. But I'm just annoyed that his topic is making fun of all the wholes in Christianity. It's not that he's not funny, i just wish he would try something different. But then again he's famous and wealthy and I'm sitting at my computer.
#45 to #15 - anonymous (12/10/2013) [-]
except you know, it's just a joke, if you like it laugh, if you don't then don't
#11 - improbable (12/10/2013) [-]
i see this post so often and i say the same thing everytime.
why isnt this man king of the world, i mean appearently he is all knowing and his word should be taken seriously on all accounts.
#8 - ballerfifteen (12/10/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#7 - anonymous (12/10/2013) [-]
I hate this ******* guy so much. He has no right and no business making fun of peoples beliefs. And there isn't even any evidence that what his saying is true.
#70 to #7 - thempc (12/10/2013) [-]
This image has expired
it's called freedom of speech *******
#53 to #7 - datlaugh (12/10/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#35 to #7 - anonymous (12/10/2013) [-]
He has all rights to be making these jokes. Making jokes is not a crime (not yet at least).
#31 to #7 - antigravitycake (12/10/2013) [-]
its his job.
its his job.
#25 to #7 - neoexdeath ONLINE (12/10/2013) [-]
Not sure if bait

Or just stupidity

Pic related: Those fish are everywhere lately
#22 to #7 - anonymous (12/10/2013) [-]
Actually, he does have the right.
The right to free speech.
#16 to #7 - nonanonnon (12/10/2013) [-]
He has every right to make fun of people. He's a comedian.
#10 to #7 - forbesydemon (12/10/2013) [-]
He's a comedian. He does it because he's funny. Everyone has the right to make fun of the beliefs of others. At least he does it in an entertaining manner.
#9 to #7 - monosgtchan (12/10/2013) [-]
Nor is there any evidence that the bible or any belief system is true. If someone believes in something, they have to have faith whether there's proof or not, and they shouldn't expect others to believe in the same thing. Rather, they should expect to come under fire, because they're the ones who are thinking outside the box. (This comment is entirely neutral, I don't give a **** whether you're a troll, I'm just sick of pointless debate)
User avatar #40 to #9 - lamarisagoodname (12/10/2013) [-]
I'm religious and I strongly support your statement
#37 to #9 - anonymous (12/10/2013) [-]
mmhm and here you are, primed and ready to pounce like the degenerate you are. Proud of that champ? don't see it, do you.
#32 to #9 - gerfox (12/10/2013) [-]
Well, I'm neutral as well - but I feel like I more often see atheists attempting to impose their beliefs on religious people, or mocking it, like Jimmy Carr here.
User avatar #52 to #32 - TexMex (12/10/2013) [-]
Why are those beliefs so "holy"? I believe in evolution and if someone told me that I was stupid for doing that, I'd ******* laugh and go away.
You should be able to criticize any belief without some cockmonglers telling you it's "offensive"
#77 to #52 - gerfox (12/10/2013) [-]
Well, of course, I'm not a Chrstian myself, and you should be allowed to criticize - but I've seen Jimmy Carr ridiculing Christian beliefs in almost any talkshow, or show he's performed in. It becomes too much.
User avatar #80 to #77 - TexMex (12/10/2013) [-]
Yeah but you don't have to watch it, it's not like he's forcing it onto you, also that's his thing. He's known for making offensive jokes and being very rude, and it's funny as long as there aren't people around who doesn't understand sarcasm or his style.
#49 to #32 - bagman (12/10/2013) [-]
Really not trying to start **** here, but I would have to disagree with that. Sects of Christianity will send their followers out in public with bibles/ pickets to attempt to prosthelytize passersby. Laws regarding the equal rights of homosexuals or abortion or vital stetm cell research are quashed almost entirely by indoctrinated Christian ideology; when the passage of laws is hindered by religious dissenters, it's essentially the same as trying to foist Christianity on the entirety of a nation. On an individual level, sure, atheists are more likely to be smug, self-assured cockheads. But it's absurd to say that atheists are bigger zealots than Christians.
#78 to #49 - gerfox (12/10/2013) [-]
Yeah, I agree to some extent. In countries with a huge Christian population there might be a high number of Christians attempting to "spread the Lord" to the population as a whole.

I live in a secular country, where most people are atheists - and this reflects on my opinion regarding this. Almost all atheists I know usually have no respect for neither religion nor tradition (for instance bashing Christmas, even though, for me at least, it's not about the religion, but more of a tradition). And they'll let you hear about it every single ******* time, while the few Christians I know never talk to me about religion, never would try impose their beliefs on me or anyone else.

Perhaps we can conclude and say that as individuals atheists are more condescending and attemptive to impose their beliefs on others than what Christians are, but as a group it's the other way around.
User avatar #12 to #9 - elitehacker (12/10/2013) [-]
i'm not the anon btw
antagonizing ≠ burden of proof
while this is a joke picture, it is still mockery of someones belief and can easily be taken as such. if a picture mocking atheism by saying "you really think your life, with all its intricacy and magnitude, was chance?" or "when you die you become part of the environment, a ******* plant." or "when the universe implodes you cease to exist altogether? if so, what's the point of life. kill yourself right now. it will make no difference."........ nah that would be taken really bad wouldn't it? sounds hypocritical to me.

point it, while you were trying to show a different angle to the ignorant anon, you yourself spread the same hate christians spew from an different religion/lack thereof point of view.

so, by your viewpoint, and equal fairness to both parties.. both sides should constantly come under fire and show outright hatred towards each other because they can't prove that the imaginary baseball does or doesn't exist? or is it that we should all just bag on Christianity because it's easy and you hate it because you can't fathom it in your head? which is it?

not trying to start a debate about religion, just wanna know why you think it's ok for one side to be burdened and strained and not the other.. no religion discussion plox. thanks you. please explain this to me. i'm having a hard time to understand how one way can be right but the other can't. you have to have faith in most of these things, athiesm and any religion/theism/polytheism (whatever else)... you don't know what happens after death. no one does except those already dead. so how can you judge one fallacy more harshly than the other? (modern revolution proves those leviticus butt munches wrong, gods alteration of space and time can alter parts of genesis, and several other things that can easily be proven equally right or wrong)
#84 to #12 - monosgtchan (12/10/2013) [-]
(P.S. I showed no bias towards either side, I merely stated that everyone has the right to belief and shouldn't get so butthurt, which you clearly ignored and only read "hurr durr haes insiltin mah buleefs".
User avatar #90 to #84 - elitehacker (12/11/2013) [-]
Im not a Christian tho, way to be judgmental. I was just talking about equality amongst attacking of athiesm and religion in general. No need to message me out of your need to be overly hostile
#92 to #90 - monosgtchan (12/11/2013) [-]
You said "both sides should constantly come under fire and show outright hatred towards each other because they can't prove that the imaginary baseball does or doesn't exist? or is it that we should all just bag on Christianity because it's easy and you hate it because you can't fathom it in your head?". You started a confrontation, I'm not being overly hostile, but obviously it's aggravating so see someone be that ignorant.
User avatar #94 to #92 - elitehacker (12/11/2013) [-]
Ao i summed up most of the religious problems with religion and athiests in an analogy and worded around your ignorance of why they hate each other.

No need to be a crybaby and think im attacking you, youre not that important, youre a random stranger on the internet. Dont think so highly of yourself.
#83 to #12 - monosgtchan (12/10/2013) [-]
Actually, if you didn't read that far into my words like an overachieving english major, I literally mean that everyone has a right to their own belief, and that they shouldn't get pissed off if others question their beliefs. The reason I said this, was because the anon was trying to spark debate, a debate which has been heard and said countless times on the internet. Rather than arguing (which you seem intent on doing) I was attempting to simply state that everyone needs to chill the **** out.
User avatar #88 to #83 - elitehacker (12/11/2013) [-]
Kk. Can you shut up now. Youre annoying.
#89 to #88 - monosgtchan (12/11/2013) [-]
You're the annoying one, everything was fine until you took the comment personally and ******* pissed me off.
User avatar #91 to #89 - elitehacker (12/11/2013) [-]
I didnt take it personally. Read it again. I said be more equally hostile to all you hatefilled man. Ktjxbye.
#93 to #91 - monosgtchan (12/11/2013) [-]
Originally, I wasn't hostile. Then you started spouting nonsense.
User avatar #95 to #93 - elitehacker (12/11/2013) [-]
Yet i could insult you, i wont any further than i did, which was very little and mainly about your lack of understanding this situation..

Please stop being an outright dick and insulting at every corner, it doesnt sink into my head, just makes me think you are a mean cynical person.
#96 to #95 - monosgtchan (12/11/2013) [-]
If my meaning is lost on you when I use angry language, I wish to politely inform you that I did not reply to the comment that you have just sent me a link of. Rather, I replied to the comments in which you called me ignorant, and put words into my mouth (so to speak, as we are online).
User avatar #71 to #64 - elitehacker (12/10/2013) [-]
not even i care anymore, but obviously more than 55 people care enough to thumb up someone who did.

fj is full of children anyway, time to move on from this site.. let you kids play with your toys and trolls.
#85 to #71 - monosgtchan (12/10/2013) [-]
What? Everyone else is ******** ? Anyone with "hacker" or "elite" in their online alias is a complete tool. You have both. Don't act so offended when I literally said "everyone should stop getting so offended". (Paraphrasing)
User avatar #73 to #71 - nigeltheoutlaw (12/10/2013) [-]
Oooh, you're so ****** . Have fun being offended by humor on a humor site.
User avatar #75 to #73 - elitehacker (12/10/2013) [-]
i'm not offended, i said they were stupid for telling someone not get offended because each demographic will get offended in someway. they blatantly put out there that christians should be constantly underfire without mentioning any other religion.

yes, so ****** , very offend, much doge, whatever the **** you want.
#86 to #75 - monosgtchan (12/10/2013) [-]
Are you ******* retarded? Nowhere in my comment did I mention christianity! I said "everyone with a belief system". That does not mean exclusively christians. Go **** yourself.
User avatar #87 to #86 - elitehacker (12/11/2013) [-]
Based off the content it refers to Christianity more than any other religion.. besides i dont care. Leave me alone plox
#36 to #12 - certifiedidiot ONLINE (12/10/2013) [-]
I'm too fecking tired to read all that and understand it at the same time so I'll just say this, beliefs can be anything.

You can have the belief that the cockroaches have been stealing uranium and plans to enrich it in order to make their own nuclear bomb and start the nuclear holocaust in order to become the sole rulers of Earth - OR - You can believe in Christianity, Islam, Jewudo, that tiny invisible fairies carry electrical charges to light bulbs in order for them to work or whatever, just because more people believe it or for a long time, doesn't suddenly make it any more legit.

And here's a very rough medical explanation of what happens, you die, you stop breathing, don't get that yummy oxygen that your entire being needs to sustain itself, including your brain, heart stops and all, and your brain, that lil' mass of fat inside of your head will begin to shutdown as well, and that brain, if you've ever heard of it, happens to be who you are.

Based on what we roughly know of how the human body works then if you took a computer and just blew it the **** up, you'd have a pretty good idea what would also happen to a humans consciousness if it died.

It'd be ******* gone.
User avatar #14 to #12 - drldrl (12/10/2013) [-]
There's plenty of people that make fun of atheism. And Buddhism. Islam, Judaism, every religion that has ever existed. Why does it cause such an uproar when it's Christianity?
User avatar #17 to #14 - elitehacker (12/10/2013) [-]
yeah, but every demographic of each religion and lack thereof will have a few that do get offended. some people take humor as a direct attack both ways.. it's pointless to fued it out when it'll just continue to happen again and again... there will always be someone else that gets offended and doesn't take it as a joke.
User avatar #29 to #17 - hanabro (12/10/2013) [-]
The whole point of having beliefs and opinions is to pit them against other opinions in order to either verify your beliefs, or be proven wrong so you can change your opinion to something that makes sense. The problem comes when people are too stuck up to change their own opinions because of their own arrogance.
#24 to #17 - anonymous (12/10/2013) [-]
If people weren't allowed to make jokes that offend people, we would have no jokes.
Get the sand out of your ****** and laugh like a regular human being.
User avatar #13 to #12 - elitehacker (12/10/2013) [-]
*wouldn't be taken really bad.... woops.. it's too late... i can't type so goods
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