mods. . thatg) :1 original creeper D E-: : -s: dunwall: ajust gave a goblin an accidental handjob in D& D I' m For anyone curious, I tried to rip his dick off a
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thatg) :1 original creeper D E-: : -s:
dunwall:
ajust gave a goblin an accidental handjob in D& D I' m
For anyone curious, I tried to rip his dick off and then
botched my roll. Now our caravan won' t stop calling me the
Hand of Mercy?’
Well-.. Did he at least stop trying to kill you?
He started crying. We had blinded him and attacked him and I was
fondling his junk. It was overall an upsetting experience for the poor guy.
18. 255 notes
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Submitted: 01/30/2014
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#8 - mikhailovych ONLINE (01/31/2014) [+] (61 replies)
What was the worst thing that ever happened to one of your characters funnyjunk?
One of my characters (male) who was a dragon rider (also in love with his dragon, so he was a rider in more ways than one) was mind-controlled, forced to kill his dragon and was then turned into a female and made into a sex slave
My DM is a bit of a weirdo
#15 to #8 - zeldapronmaster (01/31/2014) [-]
My character was a rouge so naturally i was good at seeing bull **** , traps, disguises, and so on. Well I was at a Royal dinner party when my friend's character comes in and we never met before but something was up so i roll, and find out HES A GODDAMN BEAR. He was noble too. So I roll and call him out on it and no one else sees it but me. They call the guards, they take me outside and execute me.
User avatar #3 - revoll (01/30/2014) [+] (7 replies)
"I tried ripping his dick off"
Why would you do that?
#12 - TRINDADE ONLINE (01/31/2014) [+] (4 replies)
Rolling, how does it work?
#104 - holeinone (01/31/2014) [+] (8 replies)
>Play skyrim with sex mods
>go to bandit camp
>Go to sneak kill ppl slowly
>Sneak up to male bandit
>choose rape
>Deer lord WHY
>Other Bandits watch and cheer (mod glitch)
>mfw when dragonborn man handles bandit while his brothers watch for 30sec
#5 - jakoar (01/30/2014) [+] (1 reply)
Had a similar experience with D&D.
Was running a D&D 3.5 campaign with a friend of mine.He made a halfling rogue.Not a bad all around character(8 wisdom doh).So far so good.Asks if he could use rakes as weapons.K.Gets 1 regular rake,3 throwable rakes and a expandable rake AND a couple of goat intestines stiched on one side.This mofo asking me for condems.Give him 100 for **** and giggles.What could possibly go wrong?Names Character Jim''Rake''Herpes(dafuq brah).Fastforward to the beginning of the journey.Rake is travelling through a swamp.All is chill in the hood till a goblin shows up.Confronts Rake and tells him to give up all his valuables.Rakes 's having none of his **** .Knocks his ass out.Loots him and then said''I'm going to rape this goblin''.I can't even.After 15 minutes of non-stop ******** happy time with mister green he finally finishes.Roll CON check.Rolls a 18 and passes.With a relieve I urge for us to continue.''Wait I ain't done.I take the goblins knife a circumcise him''.Oh by the Emperor why?Leaves the goblin on the road with his green newly circumcised penis dangling free while I'm just standing there trying to figure what just happened.
#49 - shadew (01/31/2014) [+] (2 replies)
I got nagged into trying one of these roll playing games by my boyfriend.    
First real battle we had, there were a couple of bandits outside our tents, threatening some farmers. I got good rolls and shot out of my tent like a lightning bolt, cleaving apart both of the bandits with my halberd before they knew what hit them. Everyone then took a perception check because something was watching us from the forest. It was only then that my character realized that he was bare-ass naked and had forgotten to get dressed.
I got nagged into trying one of these roll playing games by my boyfriend.
First real battle we had, there were a couple of bandits outside our tents, threatening some farmers. I got good rolls and shot out of my tent like a lightning bolt, cleaving apart both of the bandits with my halberd before they knew what hit them. Everyone then took a perception check because something was watching us from the forest. It was only then that my character realized that he was bare-ass naked and had forgotten to get dressed.
User avatar #99 - Endofzeeworld ONLINE (01/31/2014) [-]
This one time I was GM for a party in an underground Goblin lair. We went through a few rounds of combat with the goblins, and it came back to the fighter. He said, "Im gonna **** the goblin!" (In a tone that obviously meant he wanted to attack the goblin). I stared at him with a smile on my face to which he replied, "Wait no I didn't me-"
"YOU MADE YOUR CHOICE, NOW MAKE A TOUCH ATTACK ROLL"
He succeeded.
The goblin joined the party.
The two have been lovers ever since.
#70 - amalnourishedcow (01/31/2014) [+] (7 replies)
Corruption of Champions.
User avatar #1 - shinymawile (01/30/2014) [+] (3 replies)
Yep that's pretty much D&D in a nutshell, I know some people bitch when it's not a very serious campaign but I think it makes it more entertain when **** like this goes down.

(helps having that one ******** in the group who wants to do all the retarded stuff that you know will get the whole group killed)
User avatar #120 - kirkbot ONLINE (01/31/2014) [-]
>attempting self harm by slamming my head into a nearby wall
>bad roll
>trip over first aid kit on my way to the wall
>accidentally healed myself
#11 - jonathankitty (01/31/2014) [+] (14 replies)
Holy 						****					, it's like Corruption of Champions but with multiplayer!   
   
 Corruption of Champions is a sex literacy game with fighting and rape and all that. Including weird fetishes that shouldn't be mentioned. I will not let the spider lay eggs in my ass.
Holy **** , it's like Corruption of Champions but with multiplayer!

Corruption of Champions is a sex literacy game with fighting and rape and all that. Including weird fetishes that shouldn't be mentioned. I will not let the spider lay eggs in my ass.
#56 - baka ONLINE (01/31/2014) [+] (2 replies)
>Playing An Evil campaign 3.5
>Being a Bugbear Cleric with a bro Bugbear rogue
>Everyone wants to murder paladins, general evil stuff. Bro stealing stuff that's even nailed down.
>"I'm going to start a cult to the Dark Sun."
>Everyone looks at me like I'm weird, despite having murdered an entire village, including children, one of kolboids ate a child.
>My bugbear's face at that time
#86 - turbosalami (01/31/2014) [+] (5 replies)
Is there a page that explains D&D because everytime I read one of these posts there is some weird **** happening or can someone just care to explain how does the game work?
#94 to #86 - akhar (01/31/2014) [-]
"or can someone just care to explain how does the game work?"

Son, the FunnyJunk comment character limit is a mighty stretch too small for that.
User avatar #73 - unncommon (01/31/2014) [+] (2 replies)
I don't understand D&D enough to dispute this...
#112 - CrowbarNinja (01/31/2014) [-]
****					 like this is why i DM, 100% for teh lulz games make my so upset.
**** like this is why i DM, 100% for teh lulz games make my so upset.
User avatar #54 - traks (01/31/2014) [+] (4 replies)
All this D&D stuff recently
Is there anywhere I can play online, or do I need friends to do that?
#4 - trollerfin (01/30/2014) [+] (2 replies)
Warhammer 40k : Dark heresy: Teammates start throwing knives on the only board that keeps our ship in one piece, DM decides the wall gives up sucking the rest of us in warp before anything had even proper start. FML
Warhammer 40k : Dark heresy: Teammates start throwing knives on the only board that keeps our ship in one piece, DM decides the wall gives up sucking the rest of us in warp before anything had even proper start. FML
#179 - johrny (01/31/2014) [+] (3 replies)
I play the "The Dark Eye" and there is one im my group that can't stop picking up corpses. When once fighted against a ogre and the only thing he had in mind was trying to fling orc heads into the ogre mouth.
Or the dwarf in our team. This guy is desprate for dwarf sex. I don't know why...
Or my favorite: The elf in our group that prepares the bow for shooting, ties his shoes, eats a piece of breed and aims at a teammate.... everything at once..
MF everytime i dare to play with those guys
User avatar #29 - Lintutu ONLINE (01/31/2014) [+] (6 replies)
I'm recently trying to get interested in DnD. Making character sheets is so boring, but i can't wait to actually start playing
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