ladys please. control your orgasms. talyor) So I don' t think those tree condoms universities hand out such; as much as guys say they do Okay- out seriously. If
x
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ladys please

ladys please. control your orgasms. talyor) So I don' t think those tree condoms universities hand out such; as much as guys say they do Okay- out seriously. If

control your orgasms

talyor)
So I don' t think those tree condoms universities hand out such; as
much as guys say they do
Okay- out seriously. If you' re ever considering sexy times with a guy
and he tells you that he can' t wear a condom there is a %
chance that he is a liar, and you should not have sex with
him. Don' t have sex with liars. Have sex with a cute honest people that
wing you ice cream the next morning. Liars do not wing you ice
cream. Anti if they no it' s ice cream made of lies. Ice cream made of
lies is very emotionally Don' t trust liars or their disease-
ice cream.
that was the best tale ever.
...
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Views: 36669
Favorited: 93
Submitted: 10/27/2013
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Comments(105):

[ 105 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #25 - srskate (10/27/2013) [-]
If a guy says he can't use a condom he bought, he's lying.
If a guy says he can't use a condom you bought, he might be telling the truth.

Let's put it this way. Condoms may be stretchy, but they are not a one size fits all thing. The will constrict your dick if you are not of average size.
#53 to #25 - chancevance (10/27/2013) [-]
That's why you always buy your own. Don't leave them in your wallet though, bad idea.

However, the university condoms that Texas State had you not only had to pay for out of the vending machine but they SUCKED. Didn't stretch at all, tore easily, no lube, they sucked bad.
User avatar #101 to #25 - thelivingun (10/27/2013) [-]
exactly, having too small condoms hurt so bad.
User avatar #113 to #25 - onewithpokerface (10/28/2013) [-]
Plus, some crazy bitch might have poked holes in them
User avatar #119 to #25 - srskate (10/28/2013) [-]
Today I learned that funnyjunk is full of well-endowed men.
#48 to #25 - klutzyspy ONLINE (10/27/2013) [-]
i just ask them why women have different sizes of bra's. An a-cup can techically hold a huge boob. It wont be pretty or comfy, but it can.
User avatar #37 to #25 - syntheticdoll (10/27/2013) [-]
I have a friend who actually ****** up really badly on condoms. He bought a pack he thought will be good (most are too small) and he went on a date with that hot girl he was talking about for weeks. They got along pretty well and well, they ended up in her bed and after some taste-test, they wanted to do it, so he pulled out a condom... and it turned out to be too small. Needless to say, she told him afterwards "let's just stay friends".
So no, the guy is not always lying when he says that condom he bought is too small.
#42 to #37 - hawaiikid (10/27/2013) [-]
The last set i bought constrict my dick so bad i go soft in about 30 seconds. It sucks because now i have no idea what to do with them.
User avatar #46 to #42 - romdomcom (10/27/2013) [-]
I think the content has provided a fairly good solution to that problem,
User avatar #91 to #42 - mycatislookingatme (10/27/2013) [-]
Water balloon fight.
User avatar #52 to #42 - dillard1 (10/27/2013) [-]
Yeah, the university's condoms they hand out are too damn small. I took like 6 of them and after 3 I just went down on her. It just wasn't worth it.
#49 to #42 - klutzyspy ONLINE (10/27/2013) [-]
same here.. cant feel **** and it blocks all bloodflow..

unless the girl is a 11/10, i'd rather not have sex that wear a condom she brought
User avatar #77 to #37 - nigeltheoutlaw (10/27/2013) [-]
The girl wasn't that interested if one condom mishap made her give up on a guy entirely.
#2 - seeteufel (10/27/2013) [-]
Is anyone else as tempted to play with a water filled condom as I am?
User avatar #4 to #2 - carlonord ONLINE (10/27/2013) [-]
Stickyourdickinit.jpg

Seriously though, that HAS to feel good.
User avatar #5 to #4 - craaabs ONLINE (10/27/2013) [-]
It's technically MEANT to!
User avatar #54 to #2 - burningsmurfs (10/27/2013) [-]
Don't do it, they smell and the spermicide is pretty gross feeling if it gets on your hands while you're taking it off or something.
User avatar #69 to #2 - mondominiman (10/27/2013) [-]
I remember when I was really young I was at a birthday party for one of my cousins who had turned 21 and his parents had filled some pinata with small liquor bottles and condoms so they just started filling up a ton of them with water and had water balloon fights. I'm sure they still saved tons for later
User avatar #11 to #2 - tmgrskat (10/27/2013) [-]
Fill a ******* glove. On my grandma's, I did that and threw it off the balcony (one-story building with a garden :>), it just bounced without splashing even though it had 1.5Lt of water in it.
#70 to #2 - pulpunderground ONLINE (10/27/2013) [-]
I once slapped my roomate he's not my roomate anymore with a water filled condom... it was great fun
User avatar #32 to #2 - trowlernotparas (10/27/2013) [-]
Not like you're going to use it for anything else
#9 - laxwarriord ONLINE (10/27/2013) [-]
Problem is, there are people who are allergic to the material, and nobody wants a massive rash on their man rod
User avatar #10 to #9 - dedaluminus (10/27/2013) [-]
I'm allergic to latex. They make non-latex condoms. Nitrile, polyisoprene, lots of different materials are available. They cost a little more, but it's worth it. Box of condoms: $20, health insurance copayment on an STD test: $50, average cost of raising a child: $241,080.
User avatar #13 to #10 - randomituseddie (10/27/2013) [-]
your face when your friend gets a girl pregnant, priceless.
User avatar #43 to #10 - mylazy (10/27/2013) [-]
That is actually much cheaper than I expected.
#20 - anon (10/27/2013) [-]
Fun experiment: Fill a condom with water and tie the end, tight. Then squeeze the whole thing and start jacking it off. It'll explode, quickly.

Condoms don't fail because of the stretch, they fail because of rapidly changing of forces on them which wears them out. Oh, and the sizes also go by girth not length - something that a lot of people miss.
User avatar #78 to #20 - jalthelas (10/27/2013) [-]
Exactly, it's friction from intercourse, not stretching the condom.
User avatar #28 to #20 - mrwightproductions (10/27/2013) [-]
This man is correct
User avatar #24 - Zarke (10/27/2013) [-]
In my limited experience, we had more fun trying to get that stupid thing on than actually using it.

I think I need more practice.
#34 - nyxeos (10/27/2013) [-]
Everybody here is talking about condoms and I'm just thinking I should watch Mean Girls again
Everybody here is talking about condoms and I'm just thinking I should watch Mean Girls again
User avatar #89 - pickstar ONLINE (10/27/2013) [-]
I have a small dick and would never lie about size. There. I said it. Please don't thumb this up
#17 - bitchesbanthymine (10/27/2013) [-]
I used to not be able to wear condoms. The problem wasn't that I couldn't physically fit my dick in it, it's usually just a matter of it being really uncomfortable. Some guys have sensitive dicks, and having some latex stretch tightly around it can be a bit of a pain.

Although it is worth pointing out that, through practice, I was able to master the art of putting on a condom without it hurting. It is an ability that comforts me as I sit alone in my room masturbating.
User avatar #22 to #17 - Blargosnarf (10/27/2013) [-]
Don't they have different sizes?
User avatar #55 to #17 - timmity ONLINE (10/27/2013) [-]
roll it on like your meant to, you dont shove your dik i it
User avatar #56 to #55 - bitchesbanthymine (10/27/2013) [-]
I do roll it on you silly goose.
User avatar #57 to #56 - timmity ONLINE (10/27/2013) [-]
fitting your dik in it sounds like you opened it and then tryed to physicly shove your eret dick in it
User avatar #58 to #57 - bitchesbanthymine (10/27/2013) [-]
Of course not, that would be... strange.
User avatar #59 to #58 - timmity ONLINE (10/27/2013) [-]
you know, thats what a lot of people do because they`re ******* idiots who dont know how to use a ******* condom
User avatar #60 to #59 - bitchesbanthymine (10/27/2013) [-]
Really, it's like, printed on the packet usually.
User avatar #61 to #60 - timmity ONLINE (10/27/2013) [-]
but stupid people cant bother to read it
User avatar #3 - maybeimalion (10/27/2013) [-]
To be fair though, I need to use magnums...no matter how stretchy they might be at the end, the little band is still painful to wear for someone like me...plus they don't exactly feel comfortable when they stretch. So maybe if he says something like that have a magnum in your night stand...just in case...for guys like me.
#6 to #3 - anon (10/27/2013) [-]
I have the same issue, but I feel like if I even mention it people will assume I'm lying and trying overcompensate. Truth is they might fit, but they're tight as hell on me and painful. I feel your pain bro.
User avatar #15 to #3 - mchurtstab ONLINE (10/27/2013) [-]
that band is the bane of my existence.
#23 to #3 - anon (10/27/2013) [-]
Same boat here, I buy magnums because the band itself is wider. If I wear regular sized condoms the band cuts the circulation off and I lose my erection. Having a big penis isn't as great as people make it out to be.
User avatar #12 to #3 - captainfuckitall (10/27/2013) [-]
Actually, I heard that a Magnum brand is only slightly bigger than a regular condom brand, so that anyone can wear one for extra price and get a huge confidence boost. Sorry bro.
User avatar #63 to #12 - maybeimalion (10/27/2013) [-]
Well from EXPERIENCE with both styles I can tell you that the band is slightly bigger, and I pay less money because smart people use amazon for that **** . Trust me...I've used every kind of condom you can find in a local drug store.
User avatar #21 to #12 - BIGSEXYISBACKAGAIN (10/27/2013) [-]
Yeah I heard that too. It's just a branding thing. They make men feel better about themselves so they can charge more.
#8 - SupremeJigglyPuff (10/27/2013) [-]
I think anyone that thinks its okay to have completely unprotected sex at this age (teens-twenties) is stupid.
User avatar #18 to #8 - cheastnut (10/27/2013) [-]
i think having sex at that age is stupid
#51 to #18 - klutzyspy ONLINE (10/27/2013) [-]
found the american
User avatar #88 to #51 - tomahawkit **User deleted account** (10/27/2013) [-]
0/10
#47 - bobthedilder (10/27/2013) [-]
They (liars) will also steal your pie.
User avatar #96 to #47 - deathweaver (10/27/2013) [-]
*obligatory stolen bike joke*
#36 - megamolester (10/27/2013) [-]
> got condoms from sex-ed at school
> one normal and one with "nipples"
> fill up the "nippel" condom with water and play with it all day
> mom comes home and see me lying on the couch, water filled condom with "nipples" in hand, watching pokemon
> "don't we have some balls you could play with instead?"
> but this one has "nipples"
> "yeah but it'll burst on ya and then you're wet"
> proceed all evening with condom-play
> it finally pops and big bro screams for mom to come
> mom bursts into room, little kid all wet
her face when
>
User avatar #16 - alreadyexiststho (10/27/2013) [-]
Are condoms really that bad for a guy? My ex would always rather just not have sex than wear one. It was ******* annoying.
#50 to #16 - klutzyspy ONLINE (10/27/2013) [-]
imagine if there was only 1 size bra
User avatar #19 to #16 - Zeigh (10/27/2013) [-]
Personally I've never had a problem with them.
But who knows, maybe it's because he used unlubricated condoms and it tugged too much on his skin, or maybe he had a latex allergy.
User avatar #14 - buttplugmaster (10/27/2013) [-]
the condoms universities hand out are ******* hardcore. we used to fill them up with water in the bio building and then throw them off the second floor of the walkway onto the ground near unsuspecting passersby. one of those ************* just refused to break and rolled around for a ******* hour. i'm very aware of how immature this was, but i regret nothing
#27 to #14 - XxElJuegoxX (10/27/2013) [-]
It was in the name of science. Therefore, it wasn't immature
#79 - kaycie (10/27/2013) [-]
If a guy is telling you he cant wear condoms he is either :   
allergic to latex    
or just doesn't like them because he "cant feel anything"    
both cases are of him telling the truth and not "100.3%" lie.
If a guy is telling you he cant wear condoms he is either :
allergic to latex
or just doesn't like them because he "cant feel anything"
both cases are of him telling the truth and not "100.3%" lie.
User avatar #95 to #79 - DementedDoom (10/27/2013) [-]
Bronson?
User avatar #98 to #95 - kaycie (10/27/2013) [-]
yes
User avatar #99 to #98 - DementedDoom (10/27/2013) [-]
Thumbed you back up, because of the sheer badassitude of bronson.
#62 - heartlessrobot (10/27/2013) [-]
This image has expired
EXCEPT
It's the ring at the opening. If the condom is too small, it cuts off circulation and hurts like a bitch. Also, will probably make him lose his erection.
But they do sell up to XXXL condoms, so the simple solution is to not date centaurs. Or if you do, make sure you're on the pill.
User avatar #73 to #62 - sparkyoneonetwo (10/27/2013) [-]
if you got a Bonner then cut off the circulation( the same thing a cock ring dose) you stay hard longer and it takes you much much longer to cum.
User avatar #102 to #73 - heartlessrobot (10/27/2013) [-]
But if it stays on too long, it can fall off.
User avatar #112 to #62 - friednazi (10/28/2013) [-]
Yeah a tight opening can give you a red ring around your dick. Durex regulars gave me that, but Trojan regulars didn't. Just gotta find the right brand and fit.
User avatar #111 - winsauceiswin (10/28/2013) [-]
this is ******** because the condoms are too tight! it isn't the ******* part that ballooning out it the god damn rubber ring at the base that's too tight. THAT'S THE ******* PART THAT'S TOO TIGHT IT ******* CRUSHES THE GOD DAMN DICK TUBE!!!!!!!
User avatar #38 - frownwarrior ONLINE (10/27/2013) [-]
can not wear condoms I'm allergic to latex
User avatar #39 to #38 - nyxeos (10/27/2013) [-]
A) You can, you just shouldn't.
B) There are condoms made out of materials besides latex.
User avatar #40 to #39 - frownwarrior ONLINE (10/27/2013) [-]
well no i can't it burns my penis off

sure but they are damn expensive (in my country 3 are 15CHF so about... 16-18$) I'm happy that my GF does the save thing, and never talks to me, worked so far great
User avatar #41 to #40 - nyxeos (10/27/2013) [-]
Again. Yes, you can. You just shouldn't, if it's made of latex.

You are physically capable of having a condom on your penis.

I cannot (properly) wear a condom. Because I am a girl, I have no penis to put it on.
#65 to #41 - anon (10/27/2013) [-]
You're just being a pedantic **** .
#67 to #65 - nyxeos (10/27/2013) [-]
That's quite a big word for a Bieber Fan.
That's quite a big word for a Bieber Fan.
#115 to #41 - grandogger (10/28/2013) [-]
how to wear a condom
#117 to #115 - nyxeos (10/28/2013) [-]
Instructions weren't clear. I suffocated.
User avatar #66 to #41 - theavatar (10/27/2013) [-]
Are you saying he could wear a latex one if h had to or saying he could by getting the non latex ones? because im allergic to latex and cant wear them. but i ue the other ones.
#71 to #66 - nyxeos (10/27/2013) [-]
I'm honestly not sure how to explain this any better.   
   
Did you ever ask a teacher, "Can I go to the bathroom?" And then they responded, "I don't know, can you?" because they're expecting you to use the word "may" instead of "can."    
   
You, and frownwarrior, are capable of wearing a condom. The material doesn't change your ability to put on the condom. The material only changes the outcome for you, ie. a burning rash instead of plain old safe sex.   
   
In short, I said both that he could wear a latex condom and that he could wear one of a different material. I hope that clarified my comments. If not, then I give up.
I'm honestly not sure how to explain this any better.

Did you ever ask a teacher, "Can I go to the bathroom?" And then they responded, "I don't know, can you?" because they're expecting you to use the word "may" instead of "can."

You, and frownwarrior, are capable of wearing a condom. The material doesn't change your ability to put on the condom. The material only changes the outcome for you, ie. a burning rash instead of plain old safe sex.

In short, I said both that he could wear a latex condom and that he could wear one of a different material. I hope that clarified my comments. If not, then I give up.
#86 to #71 - Darianvincent (10/27/2013) [-]
And I could cut somebodies head off with a sword naked and run through the streets yelling "I HAVE THE POWERRRR!". Oh wait I shouldn't.
User avatar #90 to #86 - nyxeos (10/27/2013) [-]
That is correct.
#120 to #71 - applecrash ONLINE (10/28/2013) [-]
I have no idea why someone would thumb you down so thumb for you.
#93 - anon (10/27/2013) [-]
This is the stupidest **** ever. Ofcause males with a larger penis than normal dont want his dick crushed by a condom that is to tight. It is a very sentitive area and I have even seen people say that they can get the condom around their foot so why cant males use it ... yeah cause we dont have bones in our.. boner.

Personally I have this problem. The regular size just feels like its crushing me, and is really hard to feel good with it.
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