italian master race reporting in!. Origin wecapo's 9gag account... Grazie!. Two Men And A Woman On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowher jew
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italian master race reporting in!. Origin wecapo's 9gag account... Grazie!. Two Men And A Woman On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowher

Origin wecapo's 9gag account... Grazie!

Tags: jew
Two Men And A Woman
On a group of beautiful deserted islands in
the middle of nowhere, the following people
are stranded:
Two Italian men and one Italian woman
Two French men and one French woman
Two German men and one German woman
Two Greek men and one Greek woman
Two English men and one English woman
Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman
Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman
Two Chinese men and one Chinese woman
Two American men and one American woman
Two Irish men and one Irish woman
One month later on these absolutely
stunning deserted islands in the middle of
nowhere, the following things have
a One Italian man killed the other Italian man
for the Italian woman.
The two French men and the French
woman are living happily together in a
The two German men have a strict weekly
schedule of alternating visits with the
German woman.
The two Greek men are sleeping with each
other and the Greek woman is cleaning and
cooking for them.
The two English men are waiting for
someone to introduce them to the English
The two Bulgarian men took one long look
at the endless ocean and another long look
at the Bulgarian woman and started
o The two Japanese men have emailed Tokyo
and are awaiting instructions.
o The two Chinese men have set up a
store/ restaurant/ laundry, and have gotten
the woman pregnant in order to supply
employees for their store.
The two American men are contemplating
the virtues of suicide, because the
American woman keeps on complaining
about her body, the true nature of
feminism, how she can do everything they
can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the
equal division of household chores, how
sand and palm trees make her look fat, how
her last boyfriend respected her opinion
and treated her nicer than they do, all the
sales she' s missing, how her relationship
with her mother is improving, and how at
least the taxes are low and it isn' t raining.
The American woman, meanwhile, watches
the men fart and scratch.
o The two Irish men divided the island into
North and South and set up a distillery.
They do not remember it sex is in the
picture because it gets sort of foggy after
the first few liters of coconut whiskey. But
they' re satisfied, because at least the
English aren' t having any fun.
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Views: 38461
Favorited: 142
Submitted: 06/29/2014
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #106 - perform (06/30/2014) [+] (1 reply)
stickied by wecapo
What about the Japanese woman?
#3 - doomeythekink (06/29/2014) [-]
>Americans not making guns out of sand and bamboo to give freedoms. 0/10Thats sarcasm incase you're retarded.
>Americans not making guns out of sand and bamboo to give freedoms. 0/10Thats sarcasm incase you're retarded.
User avatar #92 to #3 - rottenman (06/30/2014) [-]
The island didn´t have oil
User avatar #101 to #3 - billywonka (06/30/2014) [-]
mythbufters asctually deplyed the fact that you could make a gun out of sand and bamboos
#120 to #3 - Rascal (06/30/2014) [-]
...thats not sarcastic in the slightest.
#91 to #3 - kamikazikraut (06/30/2014) [-]
Pew pew pew
#89 to #3 - traelos (06/30/2014) [-]
>Americans not already having guns on them when they got to the island

It's like you hate freedom.
#4 - Maroon (06/29/2014) [-]
Lost my 			****		 at the Bulgarian one
Lost my **** at the Bulgarian one
#8 - grama (06/29/2014) [-]
Bulgaria mentioned on funnyjunk
swell with pride and eat sarma
User avatar #12 to #8 - ariplayer (06/29/2014) [-]
ooh i just googled sarma, and we also eat that (im kurdish). but we call it Dolma.
User avatar #16 to #12 - matakeshi (06/29/2014) [-]
We also eat those here in Lithuania, they are called "balandeliai" which if translated directly means little pidgeons
User avatar #46 to #8 - kristovsky (06/30/2014) [-]
She was a gypsy and stole all the men's shiny's.
User avatar #18 to #8 - huffe (06/29/2014) [-]
#79 to #18 - konradkurze (06/30/2014) [-]
did you just say Smeg?
User avatar #23 to #18 - windson (06/29/2014) [-]
you tink you are smart or something
#9 - ninjabadger (06/29/2014) [-]
Irish one was spot on
Irish one was spot on
#54 to #9 - Rascal (06/30/2014) [-]
not really about the borders bit...
User avatar #60 to #9 - kelping (06/30/2014) [-]
I hate that gif.
#80 to #60 - ninjabadger (06/30/2014) [-]
Well, sorry to agitate you with that sexy pouring.
Well, sorry to agitate you with that sexy pouring.
User avatar #19 - rollmeanddie (06/29/2014) [-]
Good lord the Irish one is true.
#1 - robuntu (06/29/2014) [-]
Honest question - do people outside of the US ever think, 'Man, I'd love to date an American woman?' Or do people really think of them as portrayed in this post?
#6 to #1 - Rascal (06/29/2014) [-]
Short answer no
User avatar #7 to #1 - solidderking (06/29/2014) [-]
i never thought about datin an american woman, but you could replease american with almost any other country that doesn't border germany except sweden or spain or russia ( which borders prussia which is germany )

User avatar #44 to #1 - shakalakaboomboom (06/30/2014) [-]
I wouldn't, for the fact that I really hate the accent sorry however if an American Supermodel asked me out I wouldn't say no. I just wouldn't go out of my way for one
User avatar #48 to #44 - thebaseballexpert (06/30/2014) [-]
to what accent are you refering? the southern drawl? the Boston accent where they apparently don't know the letter R? the slow speaking of the midwest? The New-yorker accent where they pronounce vowels harder than they should be? the pretentious California way that they speak? the big-talking boisterous Texas talking?
User avatar #50 to #48 - shakalakaboomboom (06/30/2014) [-]
With that list you just answered the question for me
All of the accents
User avatar #86 to #48 - reginleif (06/30/2014) [-]
"pretentious Californian" :/ I literally have never heard this in California outside of LA.
User avatar #97 to #86 - thebaseballexpert (06/30/2014) [-]
have you ever been to San-Fran and "Silicon Valley"?
User avatar #98 to #97 - reginleif (06/30/2014) [-]
I liveive there (SF) , know some buds who are working start ups. Yes they're assholes over there, but the accent itself is normal enough. :/

The Californian accent is pretty nice compared to the grunting going on in the Midwest, or the Texan Yeehadi dialect. :/
#112 to #98 - kungfulouie (06/30/2014) [-]
Wait, your saying the "Oh Em Gee, like totally Sarah, it was like, ugh. You know? Like, I totally can't even" is better then almost any other accent? The midwest has like 3 different accents. The ones that come to mind are the Chicago, the Fargo/Canadian, and the like Nebraskan. All 3 are better than Valley Girl imo, though in it's defense, it probably helps a lot coming out of a California valley girl's mouth. But holy **** dude, I can't stand that accent. Although you do get points for the stoner surfer accent, because it's like, totally chill bro.
User avatar #113 to #112 - reginleif (06/30/2014) [-]
Neither of which are a realistic depiction of Californian accents... Valley girl is exaggerated.

Basically the guys on the news are pretty much the closest thing I can find that compares with the California accent..... it's doesn't stretch syllables, or stress vowels. It's just understandable. :/

Really the worst thing that came out of California is "hella", which is of course hella gay.
#114 to #113 - kungfulouie (06/30/2014) [-]
I believe you. And not to be completely disagreeable, but I have to admit, I think any southern accent out of those southern belles is just sexy as hell. You ever had one of those soft, warm southern waitresses? Leaning over with a summer skirt on, asking "What can I get for you today sugar? Sure thing honey, anything else?" I'll be damned if I don't have to hold back the urge to get lost in her eyes right there. That accent always was one of my favorites.
User avatar #122 to #114 - reginleif (06/30/2014) [-]
You play dirty, bringing up the Southern girls. ;/

#125 to #112 - Rascal (06/30/2014) [-]
I live in LA and absolutely nobody speaks like that ever, it's all ******** popularized by old movies that everyone decided was how we actually speak for some reason
User avatar #128 to #125 - kungfulouie (06/30/2014) [-]
Log in and say that like a Valley girl anon. There was already a whole conversation about that. Though to be fair as culture normally dictates, I bet certain aspects of the dialect blended into the valley strictly because of the tendency for high schoolers to emulate pop culture. A popular movie speaks like that, kids emulate it, more movies are made, more kids copy, ad nauseum. Not ver batum of course, but like, you know, kinda sorta.
#47 to #1 - Rascal (06/30/2014) [-]
As a Canadian, we have enough foreigners here that I would never have to leave my province to see the entire world.
#57 to #1 - Rascal (06/30/2014) [-]
Bonge here, I don't find US accents sexy.
I'd much prefer a French woman...
User avatar #111 to #1 - captainpatters (06/30/2014) [-]
I find american accents on women unbearable.
User avatar #119 to #1 - suikerpapa (06/30/2014) [-]
there is no such thing as "an american" woman. It's just a white chick.
User avatar #123 to #1 - jouten (06/30/2014) [-]
I... really never thought about it. But I don't think I ever had the urge of dating an american woman.
#5 to #1 - pitifulsoul (06/29/2014) [-]
I heard that the biggest appeal American men and women have in Japan is that they're "something different".
A Caucasian American male/female with black hair would be pretty meh in Japan, but a Caucasian American male/female with blonde hair would be different, therefore popular.
However, both the black-haired and blonde-haired Americans wouldn't even be in the same league as an African American male/female in Japan.
#42 to #5 - Rascal (06/30/2014) [-]
Are you delusional?

Black people are subjected to incredible racism in Japan.
User avatar #43 to #42 - pitifulsoul (06/30/2014) [-]
And incredible interest.

It's sort of double-edged...
User avatar #115 to #5 - kungfulouie (06/30/2014) [-]
So wait. What about blue eyes? I bet I could drown in hot asian women. So ******* awesome. I pick one with straight teeth though, and ask them not to squeek during sex.
User avatar #59 to #1 - narcomancer (06/30/2014) [-]
i wanna put my penus in jada stevens
#62 to #1 - Rascal (06/30/2014) [-]
I'm american and I never think about dating a foreign woman.
#10 to #1 - mcferryn (06/29/2014) [-]
I dont think that because i met american women. Some of them are too crazy to date, and the rest is too damn ugly to date.
#17 to #10 - Rascal (06/29/2014) [-]
your encyclopedic knowledge has touched me deeply.
User avatar #65 to #1 - masterchieflol (06/30/2014) [-]
American celebrities but not your average American woman..At least not here in Australia where our women are pretty similar just with a cooler accent.
User avatar #11 to #1 - Einsty (06/29/2014) [-]
Eurofag here, I met a few. If there would be a reason not to want to date an american girl, it might be because there's just so many of them, as USA and North America in extention is seen as one seamless lump from the old continent. (This would apply to china and russia as well)

That being said, after a number of brief conversations, I'm led to believe there are not only personal differences as anywhere else in the world (maybe except best korea) but also clear distinctions between parts of the US itself, eg. the south, east coast etc.
Anyway, every american I've met so far was a pleasant person.
And to answer the question personaly, I don't really consider nationality a factor here. Less and less factors for me in fact, the lonelier I get.
User avatar #13 to #1 - mummyslittlebitch (06/29/2014) [-]
As someone with an American sister, and who knows many American women, I can say that while many American women "can hang" better than their European counterparts, they also seem to suffer from delusions when it comes to life expectations and dating.
User avatar #14 to #13 - mummyslittlebitch (06/29/2014) [-]
And they neurotically talk about themselves a lot.
#2 to #1 - youxbarstard (06/29/2014) [-]
Thought about it for a while, then I realized I was just thinking about wanting to **** Alexis Texas.
User avatar #52 to #2 - imyourdaddy (06/30/2014) [-]
talk about a very "American" pornstar
User avatar #15 - insertsfunnyname (06/29/2014) [-]
I have a sudden urge to move to Greece.
User avatar #20 to #15 - TheHutchie (06/29/2014) [-]
Give it a few years. The economy's rough out there.

That or find a rich boyfriend with many women cooking and cleaning, and ride it out nice and easy.
User avatar #21 to #20 - insertsfunnyname (06/29/2014) [-]
Rich Boyfriend is all I ever wanted, and people to cook and clean is just the cherry on top :3
User avatar #22 to #21 - TheHutchie (06/29/2014) [-]
Meanwhile I'm stuck here with a girlfriend who just lost her job, and since we can't live together due to lack of money, nobody cooks and cleans for me...

Where's the non-gay version of Greece? I need a new, richer girlfriend who cooks and cleans.
User avatar #24 to #22 - insertsfunnyname (06/29/2014) [-]
Meh, that must be **** :-/

You could probably do fairly well in parts of South America, if you take drug dealing to be an option.
User avatar #25 to #24 - TheHutchie (06/29/2014) [-]
It's okay, she's really nice and out-of-my-league cute. Not the brightest bulb on the light fitting, but hey, nobody's perfect.

**** South America, there are some seriously ****** up people in those parts. I'm talking Far Cry 3 style sex and drug trafficking, murdering psychopaths. I've watched too many documentaries about the gangs there.
User avatar #26 to #25 - insertsfunnyname (06/29/2014) [-]
It's good to stay hopeful I guess

Um... Cyprus isn't really doing any better is it? Italy seems to be doing okay...
User avatar #27 to #26 - TheHutchie (06/29/2014) [-]
Lots of corrupt authorities in Cyprus. Italy seems like a nice place.

Or Spain. If you get rich in Spain you can do whatever you want so long as you bribe the right people.
User avatar #28 to #27 - insertsfunnyname (06/29/2014) [-]
I thought Spain's economy had gone to **** to, or maybe just for some of the population...
User avatar #29 to #28 - TheHutchie (06/29/2014) [-]
Yeah, we live in difficult times I guess. I think I'll stick to my current life.
User avatar #30 to #29 - insertsfunnyname (06/29/2014) [-]
Well theatrically it should pick up in the coming years.
User avatar #31 to #30 - TheHutchie (06/29/2014) [-]
Technically, and I stress technically, the USA, Germany and the UK are now officially out of the recession. It won't make much of a difference to anything but a few economical figures for some time though.
User avatar #33 to #31 - insertsfunnyname (06/29/2014) [-]
I guess it's something, my understanding is that a lot of the worse of it is gone (or will be soonish).
User avatar #34 to #33 - TheHutchie (06/29/2014) [-]
We'll see, my friend. We'll see.
User avatar #35 to #34 - insertsfunnyname (06/29/2014) [-]
Hopefully at least.
User avatar #95 to #15 - basicargentinian (06/30/2014) [-]
das gei
User avatar #82 - enclavexremnant (06/30/2014) [-]
I feel like the author has had some bad experiences in the past with American women.
User avatar #88 to #82 - tiredofthis (06/30/2014) [-]
I will say that, though I love my girlfriend, many of these issues are absolutely true.
User avatar #99 to #82 - brokenhalf (06/30/2014) [-]
alot of the american women are usually pretty good, but you get the people that just can't except the fact that they aren't special stars, and basically throw an adult tantrum
#55 - jokersaysamuseme (06/30/2014) [-]
As a person from London, I can confirm the English outcome as accurate.
#36 - Indoknight (06/29/2014) [-]
What's wrong with Bulgarian women? European Union pls explain
#37 to #36 - silenttortoise (06/29/2014) [-]
Hubba hubba.
User avatar #38 to #37 - Indoknight (06/30/2014) [-]
User avatar #53 to #38 - warzon (06/30/2014) [-]
**warzon begins to swim**
User avatar #138 to #38 - hattheifbatman (07/01/2014) [-]
I really hope that she won't move to us
#39 to #38 - silenttortoise (06/30/2014) [-]
These are the most popular girls' names in Bulgaria for 2010:
Ivanka (I wanka)
Jordanka (you're dank, uh?)
Penka (this one just sounds dirty)
Daniela (a normal name! Reserved for the 1% of normal Bulgarian women)
Petja (Pete? Ja.)
Desislava (Dis is lava?)
User avatar #56 to #39 - gongthehawkeye (06/30/2014) [-]
Elena's a nice name.
User avatar #40 to #39 - Indoknight (06/30/2014) [-]
I can't stop saying Disislava with a retared accent lol
#41 to #40 - silenttortoise (06/30/2014) [-]
I see my job here is officially done then.
#49 to #40 - thebaseballexpert (06/30/2014) [-]
Dis meat-a-ball is-a so a-spicy, I-a think desislave
#117 to #37 - Rascal (06/30/2014) [-]
What's wrong with them?
#78 - lionti (06/30/2014) [-]
I thought the American guys would have just clapped and tipped the woman.
#83 to #78 - xcoreyx (06/30/2014) [-]
...Have neckbeards really become the stereotype for Americans in general?
#84 to #83 - lionti (06/30/2014) [-]
No, I thought the stereotype for Americans is that they clap a lot and tip people for everything. Nothing about being neckbeards
#85 to #84 - xcoreyx (06/30/2014) [-]
Oh I'm retarded. Somehow I read "tip the woman" and though he meant tipping fedoras at the women.
User avatar #121 to #84 - leglesslegolegolas (06/30/2014) [-]
I thought the American stereotype is that they're obese and love guns and MUH FREEDOMS
#131 to #121 - lionti (06/30/2014) [-]
its obvious that we need to all sit down and have a meeting about this
#102 to #78 - PVTDickStryker (06/30/2014) [-]
Now when you say tipped.........
#64 - Persistence (06/30/2014) [-]
The two black men fight each other every day while the black woman twerks her way into both of their pants every night.

At the same damn time.
#58 - tigery (06/30/2014) [-]
I have a weird thing for filipinos.... I do not try to be I just always seem to have an attraction : |....   
Close friends.... 4/7 filipino   
Relations have been 2/3 filipino....   
I do not get it : | ... It is not like I try
I have a weird thing for filipinos.... I do not try to be I just always seem to have an attraction : |....

Close friends.... 4/7 filipino
Relations have been 2/3 filipino....

I do not get it : | ... It is not like I try
User avatar #71 to #58 - hairysmellyanus (06/30/2014) [-]
You must be childish gambino
#77 to #71 - tigery (06/30/2014) [-]
My cover has been blown
My cover has been blown
#103 to #77 - megayoming (06/30/2014) [-]
If Gambino then how yo alive is aposle?

Oh shat puck grab my Caska and healz me Shirphro Us Wind slice Womans Use magic Monkey child Make a joke about my Clarence of Parental praportions

And magic son do thing that you do and Armor u trn 2 trick me again?
User avatar #61 - unncommon (06/30/2014) [-]
You have to be a man to handle an American woman. Otherwise they're a disaster. If you're a man to then they'll follow you to hell and back, put out when ever you want, and have only an appetite for you.
If you don't man the **** up then the woman runs the relationship, and prepare for her never being in the mood to please her man and ready to tell you everything you've done wrong.
#69 to #61 - Rascal (06/30/2014) [-]
I'm pretty sure relationships are built on compromise . . .   
I'm pretty sure relationships are built on compromise . . .
#70 to #61 - Rascal (06/30/2014) [-]
As a woman, I back this 100%. You be a strong man (this Ron Swanson) for me, I'll be one loyal-ass woman for you who will willingly cook and clean and produce your babies.
#66 to #61 - Rascal (06/30/2014) [-]
If by "being a man" you mean treat her like a person and talk to her, then yes
#81 - noschool (06/30/2014) [-]
i know this is irrelevant but they have the ability to email japan for instructions on how to handle a woman but they didn't email someone and tell them they were stranded.
#105 to #81 - amuzen (06/30/2014) [-]
for some reason I thought it just said mailed which made a lot more sense because in my head it played out as them just tossing a message in a bottle titled 'to tokyo' and were waiting indefinitely for tokyo to get to them on that.
User avatar #67 - donttasemebro (06/30/2014) [-]
**donttasemebro rolls 6** if i roll a 5 i'll suck my own dick
User avatar #68 to #67 - donttasemebro (06/30/2014) [-]
User avatar #72 to #68 - DontDeleteMeAgain (06/30/2014) [-]
**DontDeleteMeAgain rolls 44** not so fast
User avatar #73 to #72 - donttasemebro (06/30/2014) [-]
**donttasemebro rolls 5** if i roll a 5 i'll suck my own dick
User avatar #74 to #73 - donttasemebro (06/30/2014) [-]
User avatar #94 to #90 - cmcmrfunny (06/30/2014) [-]
record it
#96 to #94 - classlessfaggot (06/30/2014) [-]
I'm not the one doing it, it's donttasemebro. I'm just saying yes because let's face it, if a guy could suck his own dick, he'd only ever leave his home if he had to.
#132 to #96 - donttasemebro has deleted their comment [-]
#133 to #132 - classlessfaggot (06/30/2014) [-]
were you any good?
#134 to #133 - donttasemebro has deleted their comment [-]
#135 to #134 - classlessfaggot (06/30/2014) [-]
I see, you should try to use more lip and less tooth next time. and get a good chiropractor.
User avatar #136 to #135 - donttasemebro (06/30/2014) [-]
Note taken.
User avatar #108 to #96 - cmcmrfunny (06/30/2014) [-]
sorry replied to wrong person
#109 to #108 - classlessfaggot (06/30/2014) [-]
#45 - baxterfax has deleted their comment [-]
#63 to #45 - Rascal (06/30/2014) [-]
you had these feelings before or after watching anime?
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