i can confirm. . Penis’ -e we say we customer is always right‘ have Hearty never we at with me customer Me have small Ch" Large " me: "Is that for here er to go
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Comments(170):

[ 170 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #1 - hektoroftroy (11/06/2013) [-]
The most common one I get is
"Can I get a happy meal"
"What kind?"
"A happy meal."
"Cheeseburger or nuggets?"
"For a boy."
User avatar #29 to #1 - doctorhitmarker ONLINE (11/07/2013) [-]
The thing I hate most about that is that when you ask them what happy meal or whatever they would like, they look at you like you're an idiot and you should know what they want without them saying anything.
User avatar #38 to #1 - doctorhue (11/07/2013) [-]
Here a happy meal is just a burger, unless otherwise specified.
User avatar #127 to #1 - cjtsirhc (11/07/2013) [-]
work at Chipotle
"hello how are you would you like"
"hello I would like the chicken"
bowl or burrito?
bowl
for here or to go?
yes
white or brown rice?
chicken
white or brown rice?
white
black or pinto?
yes
User avatar #132 to #127 - hektoroftroy (11/07/2013) [-]
Poor guy
All the white girls i know love chipotle.
But yeah I feel it. Customers always ask for stuff and either
1) are extremely vague
2) ask for something from another resturaunt
3) ask for something we don't have/can't do
4) don't answer questions properly.

The most common request I get that we can't do is getting a meal with a McFlurry as a drink
User avatar #40 to #1 - ugoboom (11/07/2013) [-]
I work at Wendy's.
"Can we get a chicken nugget happy meal?"
"Nope, but we have a chicken nugger kids meal."
#52 to #40 - pleasantlybaconii (11/07/2013) [-]
mfw Can I have a 5 piece chicken mcnugget?   
   
Bitch, even if you were at McDonald's you couldn't get a 5 piece.
mfw Can I have a 5 piece chicken mcnugget?

Bitch, even if you were at McDonald's you couldn't get a 5 piece.
#81 to #52 - ugoboom (11/07/2013) [-]
For real, I get those all the ******* time. Seriously. The sign says 4 or 6, what the **** makes you think we have 5?
User avatar #105 to #40 - vicsix (11/07/2013) [-]
I thought nugger was the joke and was confused for about 5 minutes.
#169 to #105 - ugoboom (11/08/2013) [-]
It was in fact a typo
User avatar #2 to #1 - chuckbillrow (11/06/2013) [-]
the most common one i get is
"would you like curly fries or potato cakes with that?"
"yes"
"curly fries OR potato cakes?"
*customer realizes what they did
"curly fries"

User avatar #129 to #2 - weirdojones (11/07/2013) [-]
I dont know what a potato cake is but it sounds delicious
User avatar #136 to #129 - chuckbillrow (11/07/2013) [-]
kinda like a hash brown... fries are better
User avatar #124 to #2 - woojestonie (11/07/2013) [-]
I guess im one of the idiots who did these.

Go to in-n-out
"sir would you like it in a bag or box?"
"Yes"

I ate my fast food with shame
#122 to #2 - anon (11/07/2013) [-]
Autism is spreading amongst the population...
Autism is spreading amongst the population...
User avatar #3 to #2 - hektoroftroy (11/06/2013) [-]
Unfortunately the customers who have this problem can't speak English very well, with Russian, Spanish, Chinese, etc. being their first language, so they have a hard time understanding what I'm asking.
User avatar #4 to #3 - chuckbillrow (11/06/2013) [-]
ah, for me the customers can speak English perfectly fine they just stop listening half way through my sentence
#23 - motherfuckingkenji (11/06/2013) [-]
"Will this be for delivery or carry-out?"   
"Yeah, I'd like a large pizza."   
"*inner sigh* Alright, what kind?"   
"A large."   
   
It's even worse when they don't already know what they want, so you can hear them yelling "HEY, WHAT KIND OF PIZZA DO YOU GUYS WANT?"   
   
One time someone asked me "This coupon that says 'Wednesday only', can I only use that on Wednesday?"   
   
But hey, delivering pizza is actually pretty great and not as bad as TV would have you believe. One time I delivered to an apartment and inside were like 8 dudes sitting in front of a TV playing Halo or something and they were all wearing various helmets and horse masks and 			****		. The guy who answered the door was wearing a unicorn mask and when he opened the door, all the others stopped playing, turned towards me and started wiggling their arms in the air going "WOLOWOLOWOLOWOLO" until the door closed.   
I got a $10 tip from them. Greatest delivery ever.
"Will this be for delivery or carry-out?"
"Yeah, I'd like a large pizza."
"*inner sigh* Alright, what kind?"
"A large."

It's even worse when they don't already know what they want, so you can hear them yelling "HEY, WHAT KIND OF PIZZA DO YOU GUYS WANT?"

One time someone asked me "This coupon that says 'Wednesday only', can I only use that on Wednesday?"

But hey, delivering pizza is actually pretty great and not as bad as TV would have you believe. One time I delivered to an apartment and inside were like 8 dudes sitting in front of a TV playing Halo or something and they were all wearing various helmets and horse masks and **** . The guy who answered the door was wearing a unicorn mask and when he opened the door, all the others stopped playing, turned towards me and started wiggling their arms in the air going "WOLOWOLOWOLOWOLO" until the door closed.
I got a $10 tip from them. Greatest delivery ever.
User avatar #144 to #23 - drinktogetdrunk (11/07/2013) [-]
Did your uniform turn blue?
User avatar #106 to #23 - vicsix (11/07/2013) [-]
And I'm sure the horny housewives are always a plus.
User avatar #20 - cdm (11/06/2013) [-]
Work for a production company (stages, lighting, etc)

Me: "So, what kind of lighting do you want?"
Customer: "Black light."
Me: "Blacklight? Oh, you mean ultraviolet?"
Customer: "No, I mean black-colored light."
#95 to #20 - toosexyforyou (11/07/2013) [-]
It's called a black light. What's the problem?
User avatar #134 to #95 - adplum (11/07/2013) [-]
black is not a color, there is no black colored light. Black is the reflection/rejection of all colors, therefore black light is an oxymoron.
User avatar #135 to #134 - adplum (11/07/2013) [-]
black colored light* sorry
User avatar #164 to #135 - toosexyforyou (11/07/2013) [-]
It is the name of the item bro. There's not really lava in a lava lamp.
User avatar #165 to #164 - adplum (11/07/2013) [-]
yes but the customer took it as more than just a name. its not called a black colored light it s called a blacklight.
User avatar #166 to #165 - toosexyforyou (11/07/2013) [-]
If you can't figure out that when someone says "black colored light" they mean "blacklight" then I feel sorry for oyu.
User avatar #171 to #166 - cdm (11/08/2013) [-]
To clarify, he meant black-colored light, not blacklight. So I just turned off the lights. He was pleased.
User avatar #168 to #166 - coolcalx (11/07/2013) [-]
he specifically asked if he meant an ultraviolet light (which is what you posted), and the customer replied "no, I mean a black colored light."

if he wanted a black light, then he should have said "yes, an ultraviolet blacklight." because that's what they're called.
User avatar #133 to #20 - biggydy (11/07/2013) [-]
That's so racist, you don't call them black lights, they're african-american lights.
User avatar #87 to #20 - coolcalx (11/07/2013) [-]
>sell him a broken light bulb
>???????
>profit
User avatar #8 - lazypaul (11/06/2013) [-]
I work in a pub and every day someone comes in and asks for a pint. A PINT OF ******* WHAT? DO YOU GO TO MCDONALDS AND ASK FOR A BURGER?
User avatar #102 to #8 - thesinful (11/07/2013) [-]
No but they do buy "a pack of smokes"
#155 to #8 - anon (11/07/2013) [-]
yes.... all the ******* time. hell, i even say gimme a cheese burger and a soda. and you know what? they always give me a cheese burger and the largest drink since all sizes are a buck
User avatar #22 to #8 - DisgruntledTomato ONLINE (11/06/2013) [-]
I usually give them the averaged priced lager on tap.
#6 - myohmyahairylamp (11/06/2013) [-]
>Be waiter.   
>Tell pregnant lady the special is prawns.   
>"I obviously can't have that it's bad for the baby. Another glass of wine please."   
MFW
>Be waiter.
>Tell pregnant lady the special is prawns.
>"I obviously can't have that it's bad for the baby. Another glass of wine please."
MFW
#111 to #6 - mitchr (11/07/2013) [-]
There really should be a parenting class or something...
#101 - LiteninStruckTower **User deleted account** (11/07/2013) [-]
>At gun shop with uncle
>Overhear another customer talking with the shop owner about going on a trip into the yukon
>Then points out a gun
>"I'd like that one"
>"That's a .22 LR Rimfire, sir. What do you want it for?"
>"To protect myself from bears."
>"If you want that one, you're gonna want to remove the iron sight from the end."
>"Why would I do that?"
>"So it'll hurt less when the bear takes it from you and shoves it up your ass."
>mfw
#109 to #101 - triggathepirate (11/07/2013) [-]
It hurts to laugh, so I'll smile and quiver at this comment.
It hurts to laugh, so I'll smile and quiver at this comment.
#116 to #109 - volksworgen (11/07/2013) [-]
Are you well?
#117 to #116 - triggathepirate (11/07/2013) [-]
I've slight discomfort and pain in my jaw when I swallow. And the faint taste of mucus teeters at the back of my throat.   
   
I feel I'm developing an infection of some sort.   
   
Must be bad sandvich, I talk to doktor later.
I've slight discomfort and pain in my jaw when I swallow. And the faint taste of mucus teeters at the back of my throat.

I feel I'm developing an infection of some sort.

Must be bad sandvich, I talk to doktor later.
#118 to #117 - volksworgen (11/07/2013) [-]
I hope you feel better hoovy.
#119 to #118 - triggathepirate (11/07/2013) [-]
спасибо
спасибо
#120 to #119 - volksworgen (11/07/2013) [-]
You're going to have to speak up, son.
#96 - deathbyseth (11/07/2013) [-]


> Item doesn't scan correctly the first time
> Customer looks up
>"Ma'am don't."
>Cruel smile across her face
>"Ma'am please, no. Not today! PLEASE."
>"But child!" She says
> Tears form, as you know what's coming next.
>"That must mean... ITS FREE!"

> HAHAHAH̗͎̣̘A̷̟̤͛́ͦͫ͊H̠͂͆̉̏À̉҉̹̗Hͥ ̸̥̜̯ͫ̓ͬA͆̇̂́H͎͕͔̣ͦͬ̀͛ͬ̿̅͘͞Aͦ̐̐̉͘ ͕H̘̤͕̲̏̓̅Ạ̸̮̎Ḣ̑́͐́̀Ạ̟̅́ͨ͢͝H̕ ͔̥̘̮̱̲A̲͎̜͕̤͝Ḩ̱̱̜̠͖̱͕̹͘͘A͞҉ ̗̥̪H̲̜̠͎͎̦͔̣A͞҉̮̘̗̯̗̦̟̤̮H̃ͬ ̧̪̠͈͈̤̱̟̯͎͌̽ͤ̀̕͡Ḁ̵̓̋ͦ̽͆̄͑̆̒͊̈́̊̅̍͞ ̥̤͎̦̗H̅̃̇ͮͬ͑̕҉̭͖͕̟̥̤̮̣͞͞A̎̽ͥͤ̽̀̊ ̡̹ͯ̚̕H̷̨̭͖̦ͭ̎͊̐ͤͣ̋͋ͭ͋͛̈̐ͫͥ̚͞ ̯Ą͔̯̔ͭ̉̈̄̒̈́̐͂̅̍͢͝
User avatar #5 - iyellatstuff (11/06/2013) [-]
>Work at gun shop
>Guy wants me to collect his brass after he shoots it
>"I don't get paid enough to do that"
>Guy gets mad
>Goes to my boss
>Explains situation
>Boss say "he doesn't get paid enough to do that"
>Guy gets mad and leaves
lel
User avatar #21 to #5 - wfddfw (11/06/2013) [-]
can...can I have some .308 brass?
#130 to #5 - derberner (11/07/2013) [-]
I work at a rifle range and I love it. There's no bending over ass-backwards to appease shooters. Much better than my previous job in retail.
User avatar #19 to #5 - twofreegerbils (11/06/2013) [-]
>>work at a gun shop
I love guns, but I feel so bad for you.
#167 to #19 - iyellatstuff (11/07/2013) [-]
I'm actually helping out there but apprenticing with my boss to become a gunsmith
Pic unrelated
User avatar #170 to #167 - twofreegerbils (11/08/2013) [-]
**** the JAE chassis makes me SO HARD. I've always wanted one but
>expensive gun
>expensive chassis
>expensive ammo
>wants expensive scope

When you become a gunsmith, turn some ******* Krink barrels off a lathe with a 1:6 twist and do all the people that have been dying to do a Krink build but couldn't find barrels a favor.
User avatar #98 - gardenmanly (11/07/2013) [-]
I am a customer who often gets a severe case of poo brain and can attest to the accuracy of this.

My most common blunder:

"Enjoy your movie sir!" "Thanks, you too!"
#113 - slumberdonkey (11/07/2013) [-]
Everyone ***** up
>Today at work
>Help customer
>She starts to walk away and says "Thank you"
>I start to say "no problem" and end up saying "no thanks"
>mfw
0
#114 to #113 - Orc has deleted their comment [-]
#39 - ultimateplumsauce (11/07/2013) [-]
Gas station back in the day
"Excuse me, your pump is broken! It doesn't even fit into the tank properly!"
"Maa'm, that's a diesel pump. It's designed that way on purpose so people don't accidentally put diesel into gasoline-engine vehicles."
"Well that's stupid, it doesn't even matter, it's all the same gas!"
User avatar #9 - stargatesturge (11/06/2013) [-]
I work in tourism. A guy came in one time asking how to get to the beach.
"Well, sir, you park at the parking lot in front of the lighthouse, and then the road continues down the hill to the beach."
"No it doesn't."
"...Next to the parking lot, the road turns in front of the lighthouse and leads you down onto the rocks."
"No, it doesn't. There's no road there."
"Directly to your right-"
"We were just there. There's no road."
"...In that case, it's really hard to see, but there's tiny, hidden trail that will take you down onto the shore. It's not marked or anything, and often times just looks like more bushes."
"Okay, thanks."
I went there a few days later. The road was there, clear as day.
User avatar #14 - marohawk (11/06/2013) [-]
Me: You can take the stairs or the elevator and you will see the front office once you are up there.
Dip **** : So is it on the 2nd floor?
Me: There are only two floors so yes.
Dip **** : Oh... so its up the stairs?
Me: Yes.
User avatar #18 - glorinar (11/06/2013) [-]
I had a good one over the summer (in Michigan). Was me and a co-worker restocking stuff and this guy comes up like:

Customer "Hey, can I ask you guys a question?"
Me: "Yeah sure"
Customer: "Are you from Michigan?"
Me: "Yeah, why?"
Customer: "Oh, isn't this an Ohio-based company?"
User avatar #94 - TheStranger (11/07/2013) [-]
I work at a grocery store. A woman asked me since an item was on sale for buy one, get one free if she could take one for free and not buy a second one.

This was NOT an isolated incident
#104 to #94 - mitchr (11/07/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #56 - leawesomerohan (11/07/2013) [-]
I worked at a Hardee's my entire senior year, this one stood out the most,
Me: Hi, welcome to hardee's what can I get for y--
Customer: HANG ON A SECOND!
Me: Alright mam, order when you're ready. (Easy break? WRONG)
Customer: Hello? HELLO ARE YOU THERE? WE READY TO ORDER (Word for ******* word)
Me: I'm here mam, just order.
Customer: It's MISS, not 'Mam'. I want your 99 cent spicy chicken nuggets.
Me: We..don't have those Miss. We have chicken tenders--
Customer: NO! I SAID NUGGETS!
Me: I understood you Miss, but we still don't have them. (Even my Manager behind me thought she was being a bitch.)
Customer: FINE THEN! **** YOU!
Me: Have a great day Miss.
So this woman floors it, comes to the side door and blocks another guy in to scream at me.
She-Bitch: EXCUSEEE ME. WERE YOU TAKING MY ORDER?!
Me: Yes Mam,
SB: YOU ARE ******* RUDE! WHAT'S YO NAME?!
Me: Rohan.
SB: AND Yo last name! Oooh you fired.
Me: I don't have to tell you that.
SB: Uh. YES, uh, you do boo-boo.
Manager: No he doesn't, would you like our number?
SB: **** you then! Lying to me! And by the way, it's 'Have a BLESSED day."
She turns and my manager waves: Have a great day mam. Thanks for coming to Hardee's.
I ******* hated/loved that job...
#68 to #56 - halcyonix (11/07/2013) [-]
At least you have a good manager (from what I can tell there).
User avatar #50 - AlexPaincakes (11/07/2013) [-]
The customer is ALWAYS an idiot 98% of the time. My job makes me hate the public more than I thought I could.
#151 to #50 - shrolen (11/07/2013) [-]
Even if I end up falling into that 98% a lot of the times, I still try to be polite as possible, knowing that they have to deal with megasupercuntbitch soccer moms on a daily basis.
User avatar #158 to #151 - AlexPaincakes (11/07/2013) [-]
And honestly that goes a lot farther than you think. I live for the nice people. They don't come as often as they should but they still can brighten my day up.
#142 - diddlydum (11/07/2013) [-]
Tips for anyone who doesn't want to seem like a total ******* /douchebag when ordering a pizza or whatever - From the point of view of someone who takes alot of the orders at a busy ass pizza place.

1. Know what the **** you want before you order. Holy **** . I've got work to do, and I'm supposed to listen while you yell at your family for 10 minutes? Thanks, asshat.
2. Keep it simple. Splitting toppings half and half on a pizza is fine, but don't ask for 4 extra toppings, less cheese, cooked longer, more sauce, and the blood of an unborn fetus. I have to write this **** on a ticket as you're talking, and the cook is probly gonna miss something, so you're gonna end up with something wrong, and it's your own damn fault.
3.If you're pizza is wrong, please, tell us, but don't be act like an entitled piece of **** when you do it. It's pizza, you're really gonna go on a ******* rampage and storm around like a child over it? Oh, and if you've ever uttered the words, "is your job really that hard?", you deserve to be shot. Accidents happen, especially on weekends when pizza places are busy. Get over it. We'll remake your pizza for you, but don't expect me to ******* bow to you.

Sorry, but that **** annoys the hell out of me, and don't gimme the "customer is always right" ******** . Sure, we try to make the customer as happy as possible, but most people take that as an opportunity to treat the people behind the counter like **** , and you don't wanna be that person, because everyone in the store hates, and remembers that person.
Does the golden rule not apply when it comes to retail or food service employees? Or are you just supposed to treat them like **** ?

/rant
User avatar #157 to #142 - huntergriff ONLINE (11/07/2013) [-]
I always ask for a light cheese, extra sauce, and if i want to get two i'll just add the same but with pepperoni....is that too much? I mean I always tip them well.
#159 to #157 - diddlydum (11/07/2013) [-]
nah, that's pretty manageable, it's when people have multiple pizzas, each with a list of special instructions that annoys me. If it's a slow weeknight or something, whatever, but it's when people do this stuff at 6 o'clock on a friday night and expect they're stuff to be done within 20 minutes, even though there's 30 orders in front of theirs.
User avatar #160 to #159 - huntergriff ONLINE (11/07/2013) [-]
ah, see usually I'll get two at most...Maybe some cheesy bread too..and only on like a special occasion like my birthday...but nothing too complicated.
#162 to #142 - lesolan (11/07/2013) [-]
I remember the one time I ordered pizza in the actual place instead of over the phone. Had my order taken by one of the nicest black dude's I've ever met by the name of Jim. The pizza was a 16", olive and onion, garlic crust. Having ordered, I sat down at the corner in the front, looking out the giant windows. Some time later, and I hear some arguing going on behind me at the counter. Brain auto-tunes in as ranting customer screams about how he deserves a free something or other because 'the negroid service attendant' was trying to ' ********** him out of his 'hard earned money'. I turn around and there is this 350 lb, 5'4" neckbeard, who obviously has never worked for any money in his life if his straining fat-people go-kart has anything to say about it. I took a moment to look around for any cameras, but didn't find any. Pulled out my folding knife, leaned over in front of him, then stabbed his front tires. Standing back up, I turned to the counter, then dropped the tip jar i front of his kart. Glass and loose change everywhere. Look straight at the neckbeard as he screams he's calling the police. "Hey Jim. I just saw this fat reject throw your tip jar onto the floor and then try to roll over the broken glass. Is that what you saw too?" Turning back to him, I see him staring real hard at the fat manchild. "Yeah, I saw the same thing. He must be real stupid if he's gonna call the cops for something so silly." Fat-ass left after that, raging hard.

After helping Jim pick up the glass, one of the guys in the back brought my pizza from the back. I shared some with Jim and the rest of the crew.

<MFW that pizza was the best pizza I've ever had.
User avatar #147 to #142 - elbrysobrony (11/07/2013) [-]
I've never worked at any place like that. Can't you just pull a sign that says "We have the right to refuse service" or something like that and be like "Go **** yourself?"
#150 to #147 - diddlydum (11/07/2013) [-]
I'd most likely lose my job if I told a customer to go **** themself, but if I feel like the person is being too rude or whatever, yes, I can hang up on them, but when they're in the store, it's a whole different ballgame. I live in a town with a **** load of meth, and the people who order the most pizza, also tend to be the most white trash, burnt out pieces of **** you see around.
User avatar #145 to #142 - fizzor (11/07/2013) [-]
>unborn fetus as a pizza topping

Thanks for the mental image bruv
#146 to #145 - diddlydum (11/07/2013) [-]
Blood of an unborn fetus.
I mean come on man, I'm not sick.
User avatar #148 to #146 - fizzor (11/07/2013) [-]
I know it was blood, but then I imagined the whole fetus as a topping and well... Lets say that isn't the best way to start a day.
#153 to #148 - diddlydum (11/07/2013) [-]
You start your day at an odd time, friend.
User avatar #154 to #153 - fizzor (11/07/2013) [-]
Not when you live in Finland, it's about 9 in the morning here.
#156 to #154 - diddlydum (11/07/2013) [-]
Ha, I live in Iowa (middle of the US basically) and it's just past midnight. Have a good day then.
User avatar #161 to #156 - fizzor (11/07/2013) [-]
You as well, mate.
#108 - robertito (11/07/2013) [-]
**robertito working in grocery store, stocking aisle 1**
Customer: Where are the chips at?
Me: Those are gonna be in aisle 2
Customer: Alright. Wheres that at?
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