i can confirm. . Penis’ -e we say we customer is always right‘ have Hearty never we at with me customer Me have small Ch" Large " me: "Is that for here er to go i can confirm Penis’ -e we say customer is always right‘ have Hearty never at with me Me small Ch" Large " me: "Is that for here er to go
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i can confirm

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Penis’ -e we say we customer is always right‘ have Hearty
never we at with me customer
Me have small Ch" Large "
me: "Is that for here er to go?'
cue: Ween-‘
we tullym' ter ( usually an valet.
...
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Views: 34019 Submitted: 11/06/2013
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User avatar #1 - hektoroftroy
Reply +120 123456789123345869
(11/06/2013) [-]
The most common one I get is
"Can I get a happy meal"
"What kind?"
"A happy meal."
"Cheeseburger or nuggets?"
"For a boy."
User avatar #29 to #1 - doctorhitmarker
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
The thing I hate most about that is that when you ask them what happy meal or whatever they would like, they look at you like you're an idiot and you should know what they want without them saying anything.
User avatar #38 to #1 - doctorhue
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
Here a happy meal is just a burger, unless otherwise specified.
User avatar #127 to #1 - cjtsirhc
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
work at Chipotle
"hello how are you would you like"
"hello I would like the chicken"
bowl or burrito?
bowl
for here or to go?
yes
white or brown rice?
chicken
white or brown rice?
white
black or pinto?
yes
User avatar #132 to #127 - hektoroftroy
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
Poor guy
All the white girls i know love chipotle.
But yeah I feel it. Customers always ask for stuff and either
1) are extremely vague
2) ask for something from another resturaunt
3) ask for something we don't have/can't do
4) don't answer questions properly.

The most common request I get that we can't do is getting a meal with a McFlurry as a drink
User avatar #40 to #1 - ugoboom
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
I work at Wendy's.
"Can we get a chicken nugget happy meal?"
"Nope, but we have a chicken nugger kids meal."
#52 to #40 - pleasantlybaconii
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
mfw Can I have a 5 piece chicken mcnugget?   
   
Bitch, even if you were at McDonald's you couldn't get a 5 piece.
mfw Can I have a 5 piece chicken mcnugget?

Bitch, even if you were at McDonald's you couldn't get a 5 piece.
#81 to #52 - ugoboom
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
For real, I get those all the ******* time. Seriously. The sign says 4 or 6, what the **** makes you think we have 5?
User avatar #105 to #40 - vicsix
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
I thought nugger was the joke and was confused for about 5 minutes.
#169 to #105 - ugoboom
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/08/2013) [-]
It was in fact a typo
User avatar #2 to #1 - chuckbillrow
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(11/06/2013) [-]
the most common one i get is
"would you like curly fries or potato cakes with that?"
"yes"
"curly fries OR potato cakes?"
*customer realizes what they did
"curly fries"

User avatar #129 to #2 - weirdojones
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
I dont know what a potato cake is but it sounds delicious
User avatar #136 to #129 - chuckbillrow
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
kinda like a hash brown... fries are better
User avatar #124 to #2 - woojestonie
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
I guess im one of the idiots who did these.

Go to in-n-out
"sir would you like it in a bag or box?"
"Yes"

I ate my fast food with shame
#122 to #2 - anon id: 49cc12c6
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
Autism is spreading amongst the population...
Autism is spreading amongst the population...
User avatar #3 to #2 - hektoroftroy
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/06/2013) [-]
Unfortunately the customers who have this problem can't speak English very well, with Russian, Spanish, Chinese, etc. being their first language, so they have a hard time understanding what I'm asking.
User avatar #4 to #3 - chuckbillrow
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(11/06/2013) [-]
ah, for me the customers can speak English perfectly fine they just stop listening half way through my sentence
User avatar #5 - iyellatstuff
Reply +80 123456789123345869
(11/06/2013) [-]
>Work at gun shop
>Guy wants me to collect his brass after he shoots it
>"I don't get paid enough to do that"
>Guy gets mad
>Goes to my boss
>Explains situation
>Boss say "he doesn't get paid enough to do that"
>Guy gets mad and leaves
lel
User avatar #21 to #5 - wfddfw
Reply -2 123456789123345869
(11/06/2013) [-]
can...can I have some .308 brass?
#130 to #5 - derberner
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
I work at a rifle range and I love it. There's no bending over ass-backwards to appease shooters. Much better than my previous job in retail.
User avatar #19 to #5 - twofreegerbils
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(11/06/2013) [-]
>>work at a gun shop
I love guns, but I feel so bad for you.
#167 to #19 - iyellatstuff
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
I'm actually helping out there but apprenticing with my boss to become a gunsmith
Pic unrelated
User avatar #170 to #167 - twofreegerbils
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/08/2013) [-]
**** the JAE chassis makes me SO HARD. I've always wanted one but
>expensive gun
>expensive chassis
>expensive ammo
>wants expensive scope

When you become a gunsmith, turn some ******* Krink barrels off a lathe with a 1:6 twist and do all the people that have been dying to do a Krink build but couldn't find barrels a favor.
#6 - myohmyahairylamp
Reply +77 123456789123345869
(11/06/2013) [-]
>Be waiter.   
>Tell pregnant lady the special is prawns.   
>"I obviously can't have that it's bad for the baby. Another glass of wine please."   
MFW
>Be waiter.
>Tell pregnant lady the special is prawns.
>"I obviously can't have that it's bad for the baby. Another glass of wine please."
MFW
#111 to #6 - mitchr
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
There really should be a parenting class or something...
User avatar #8 - lazypaul
Reply +42 123456789123345869
(11/06/2013) [-]
I work in a pub and every day someone comes in and asks for a pint. A PINT OF ******* WHAT? DO YOU GO TO MCDONALDS AND ASK FOR A BURGER?
User avatar #102 to #8 - thesinful
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
No but they do buy "a pack of smokes"
#155 to #8 - anon id: ab5d96d1
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
yes.... all the ******* time. hell, i even say gimme a cheese burger and a soda. and you know what? they always give me a cheese burger and the largest drink since all sizes are a buck
User avatar #22 to #8 - DisgruntledTomato
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(11/06/2013) [-]
I usually give them the averaged priced lager on tap.
#23 - motherfuckingkenji
Reply +40 123456789123345869
(11/06/2013) [-]
"Will this be for delivery or carry-out?"   
"Yeah, I'd like a large pizza."   
"*inner sigh* Alright, what kind?"   
"A large."   
   
It's even worse when they don't already know what they want, so you can hear them yelling "HEY, WHAT KIND OF PIZZA DO YOU GUYS WANT?"   
   
One time someone asked me "This coupon that says 'Wednesday only', can I only use that on Wednesday?"   
   
But hey, delivering pizza is actually pretty great and not as bad as TV would have you believe. One time I delivered to an apartment and inside were like 8 dudes sitting in front of a TV playing Halo or something and they were all wearing various helmets and horse masks and ****. The guy who answered the door was wearing a unicorn mask and when he opened the door, all the others stopped playing, turned towards me and started wiggling their arms in the air going "WOLOWOLOWOLOWOLO" until the door closed.   
I got a $10 tip from them. Greatest delivery ever.
"Will this be for delivery or carry-out?"
"Yeah, I'd like a large pizza."
"*inner sigh* Alright, what kind?"
"A large."

It's even worse when they don't already know what they want, so you can hear them yelling "HEY, WHAT KIND OF PIZZA DO YOU GUYS WANT?"

One time someone asked me "This coupon that says 'Wednesday only', can I only use that on Wednesday?"

But hey, delivering pizza is actually pretty great and not as bad as TV would have you believe. One time I delivered to an apartment and inside were like 8 dudes sitting in front of a TV playing Halo or something and they were all wearing various helmets and horse masks and ****. The guy who answered the door was wearing a unicorn mask and when he opened the door, all the others stopped playing, turned towards me and started wiggling their arms in the air going "WOLOWOLOWOLOWOLO" until the door closed.
I got a $10 tip from them. Greatest delivery ever.
User avatar #144 to #23 - drinktogetdrunk
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
Did your uniform turn blue?
User avatar #106 to #23 - vicsix
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
And I'm sure the horny housewives are always a plus.
User avatar #20 - cdm
Reply +36 123456789123345869
(11/06/2013) [-]
Work for a production company (stages, lighting, etc)

Me: "So, what kind of lighting do you want?"
Customer: "Black light."
Me: "Blacklight? Oh, you mean ultraviolet?"
Customer: "No, I mean black-colored light."
#34 to #20 - soule
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
#95 to #20 - toosexyforyou
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
It's called a black light. What's the problem?
User avatar #134 to #95 - adplum
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
black is not a color, there is no black colored light. Black is the reflection/rejection of all colors, therefore black light is an oxymoron.
User avatar #135 to #134 - adplum
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
black colored light* sorry
User avatar #164 to #135 - toosexyforyou
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
It is the name of the item bro. There's not really lava in a lava lamp.
User avatar #165 to #164 - adplum
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
yes but the customer took it as more than just a name. its not called a black colored light it s called a blacklight.
User avatar #166 to #165 - toosexyforyou
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
If you can't figure out that when someone says "black colored light" they mean "blacklight" then I feel sorry for oyu.
User avatar #171 to #166 - cdm
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/08/2013) [-]
To clarify, he meant black-colored light, not blacklight. So I just turned off the lights. He was pleased.
User avatar #168 to #166 - coolcalx
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
he specifically asked if he meant an ultraviolet light (which is what you posted), and the customer replied "no, I mean a black colored light."

if he wanted a black light, then he should have said "yes, an ultraviolet blacklight." because that's what they're called.
User avatar #133 to #20 - biggydy
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
That's so racist, you don't call them black lights, they're african-american lights.
User avatar #87 to #20 - coolcalx
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
>sell him a broken light bulb
>???????
>profit
#101 - LiteninStruckTower **User deleted account**
Reply +31 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
>At gun shop with uncle
>Overhear another customer talking with the shop owner about going on a trip into the yukon
>Then points out a gun
>"I'd like that one"
>"That's a .22 LR Rimfire, sir. What do you want it for?"
>"To protect myself from bears."
>"If you want that one, you're gonna want to remove the iron sight from the end."
>"Why would I do that?"
>"So it'll hurt less when the bear takes it from you and shoves it up your ass."
>mfw
#143 to #101 - improbablyyourdad
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
#123 to #101 - doctorprofessornv
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#109 to #101 - triggathepirate
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
It hurts to laugh, so I'll smile and quiver at this comment.
It hurts to laugh, so I'll smile and quiver at this comment.
#116 to #109 - volksworgen
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
Are you well?
#117 to #116 - triggathepirate
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
I've slight discomfort and pain in my jaw when I swallow. And the faint taste of mucus teeters at the back of my throat.   
   
I feel I'm developing an infection of some sort.   
   
Must be bad sandvich, I talk to doktor later.
I've slight discomfort and pain in my jaw when I swallow. And the faint taste of mucus teeters at the back of my throat.

I feel I'm developing an infection of some sort.

Must be bad sandvich, I talk to doktor later.
#118 to #117 - volksworgen
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
I hope you feel better hoovy.
#119 to #118 - triggathepirate
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
спасибо
спасибо
#120 to #119 - volksworgen
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
You're going to have to speak up, son.
#96 - deathbyseth
Reply +17 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]


> Item doesn't scan correctly the first time
> Customer looks up
>"Ma'am don't."
>Cruel smile across her face
>"Ma'am please, no. Not today! PLEASE."
>"But child!" She says
> Tears form, as you know what's coming next.
>"That must mean... ITS FREE!"

> HAHAHAH̗͎̣̘A̷̟̤͛́ͦͫ͊H̠͂͆̉̏À̉҉̹̗Hͥ ̸̥̜̯ͫ̓ͬA͆̇̂́H͎͕͔̣ͦͬ̀͛ͬ̿̅͘͞Aͦ̐̐̉͘ ͕H̘̤͕̲̏̓̅Ạ̸̮̎Ḣ̑́͐́̀Ạ̟̅́ͨ͢͝H̕ ͔̥̘̮̱̲A̲͎̜͕̤͝Ḩ̱̱̜̠͖̱͕̹͘͘A͞҉ ̗̥̪H̲̜̠͎͎̦͔̣A͞҉̮̘̗̯̗̦̟̤̮H̃ͬ ̧̪̠͈͈̤̱̟̯͎͌̽ͤ̀̕͡Ḁ̵̓̋ͦ̽͆̄͑̆̒͊̈́̊̅̍͞ ̥̤͎̦̗H̅̃̇ͮͬ͑̕҉̭͖͕̟̥̤̮̣͞͞A̎̽ͥͤ̽̀̊ ̡̹ͯ̚̕H̷̨̭͖̦ͭ̎͊̐ͤͣ̋͋ͭ͋͛̈̐ͫͥ̚͞ ̯Ą͔̯̔ͭ̉̈̄̒̈́̐͂̅̍͢͝
User avatar #11 - Chizypuff
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/06/2013) [-]
To be fair,
how can you have small and large without a medium?
You either have a medium and a small or a medium and a large
User avatar #13 to #11 - gallusnasus
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(11/06/2013) [-]
I'm sorry, but how does that make any sense?

definition of medium as an adjective
"about halfway between two extremes of size or another quality."

The two extremes that we're talking about in this particular situation are small and large.
User avatar #15 to #13 - Chizypuff
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(11/06/2013) [-]
Small
-Of a size that is less than normal or usual
If you dont have normal you can't have small or large
User avatar #16 to #15 - gallusnasus
Reply +14 123456789123345869
(11/06/2013) [-]
... the realization that neither of us are going to get anywhere with our arguments because all three sizes are described in relation to the other two...
User avatar #17 to #16 - Chizypuff
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(11/06/2013) [-]
yep
Shake hands and tip hats then
User avatar #24 to #17 - achphoenix
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
i love you two
#70 to #13 - anon id: 289ca328
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
The KFC's I've been to have medium, large, and way too ******* much as their options inb4 ******, I get my drugs from a pharmacy
User avatar #98 - gardenmanly
Reply +12 123456789123345869
(11/07/2013) [-]
I am a customer who often gets a severe case of poo brain and can attest to the accuracy of this.

My most common blunder:

"Enjoy your movie sir!" "Thanks, you too!"