i can confirm. . Penis’ -e we say we customer is always right‘ have Hearty never we at with me customer Me have small Ch" Large " me: "Is that for here er to go
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i can confirm

Penis’ -e we say we customer is always right‘ have Hearty
never we at with me customer
Me have small Ch" Large "
me: "Is that for here er to go?'
cue: Ween-‘
we tullym' ter ( usually an valet.
...
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Views: 33881
Favorited: 60
Submitted: 11/06/2013
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User avatar #1 - hektoroftroy (11/06/2013) [+] (16 replies)
The most common one I get is
"Can I get a happy meal"
"What kind?"
"A happy meal."
"Cheeseburger or nuggets?"
"For a boy."
User avatar #5 - iyellatstuff (11/06/2013) [+] (5 replies)
>Work at gun shop
>Guy wants me to collect his brass after he shoots it
>"I don't get paid enough to do that"
>Guy gets mad
>Goes to my boss
>Explains situation
>Boss say "he doesn't get paid enough to do that"
>Guy gets mad and leaves
lel
#6 - myohmyahairylamp (11/06/2013) [+] (1 reply)
>Be waiter.   
>Tell pregnant lady the special is prawns.   
>"I obviously can't have that it's bad for the baby. Another glass of wine please."   
MFW
>Be waiter.
>Tell pregnant lady the special is prawns.
>"I obviously can't have that it's bad for the baby. Another glass of wine please."
MFW
User avatar #8 - lazypaul ONLINE (11/06/2013) [+] (4 replies)
I work in a pub and every day someone comes in and asks for a pint. A PINT OF ******* WHAT? DO YOU GO TO MCDONALDS AND ASK FOR A BURGER?
#23 - motherfuckingkenji (11/06/2013) [+] (2 replies)
"Will this be for delivery or carry-out?"   
"Yeah, I'd like a large pizza."   
"*inner sigh* Alright, what kind?"   
"A large."   
   
It's even worse when they don't already know what they want, so you can hear them yelling "HEY, WHAT KIND OF PIZZA DO YOU GUYS WANT?"   
   
One time someone asked me "This coupon that says 'Wednesday only', can I only use that on Wednesday?"   
   
But hey, delivering pizza is actually pretty great and not as bad as TV would have you believe. One time I delivered to an apartment and inside were like 8 dudes sitting in front of a TV playing Halo or something and they were all wearing various helmets and horse masks and 						****					. The guy who answered the door was wearing a unicorn mask and when he opened the door, all the others stopped playing, turned towards me and started wiggling their arms in the air going "WOLOWOLOWOLOWOLO" until the door closed.   
I got a $10 tip from them. Greatest delivery ever.
"Will this be for delivery or carry-out?"
"Yeah, I'd like a large pizza."
"*inner sigh* Alright, what kind?"
"A large."

It's even worse when they don't already know what they want, so you can hear them yelling "HEY, WHAT KIND OF PIZZA DO YOU GUYS WANT?"

One time someone asked me "This coupon that says 'Wednesday only', can I only use that on Wednesday?"

But hey, delivering pizza is actually pretty great and not as bad as TV would have you believe. One time I delivered to an apartment and inside were like 8 dudes sitting in front of a TV playing Halo or something and they were all wearing various helmets and horse masks and **** . The guy who answered the door was wearing a unicorn mask and when he opened the door, all the others stopped playing, turned towards me and started wiggling their arms in the air going "WOLOWOLOWOLOWOLO" until the door closed.
I got a $10 tip from them. Greatest delivery ever.
User avatar #20 - cdm (11/06/2013) [+] (11 replies)
Work for a production company (stages, lighting, etc)

Me: "So, what kind of lighting do you want?"
Customer: "Black light."
Me: "Blacklight? Oh, you mean ultraviolet?"
Customer: "No, I mean black-colored light."
#101 - LiteninStruckTower **User deleted account** (11/07/2013) [+] (8 replies)
>At gun shop with uncle
>Overhear another customer talking with the shop owner about going on a trip into the yukon
>Then points out a gun
>"I'd like that one"
>"That's a .22 LR Rimfire, sir. What do you want it for?"
>"To protect myself from bears."
>"If you want that one, you're gonna want to remove the iron sight from the end."
>"Why would I do that?"
>"So it'll hurt less when the bear takes it from you and shoves it up your ass."
>mfw
#96 - deathbyseth (11/07/2013) [-]


> Item doesn't scan correctly the first time
> Customer looks up
>"Ma'am don't."
>Cruel smile across her face
>"Ma'am please, no. Not today! PLEASE."
>"But child!" She says
> Tears form, as you know what's coming next.
>"That must mean... ITS FREE!"

> HAHAHAH̗͎̣̘A̷̟̤͛́ͦͫ͊H̠͂͆̉̏À̉҉̹̗Hͥ ̸̥̜̯ͫ̓ͬA͆̇̂́H͎͕͔̣ͦͬ̀͛ͬ̿̅͘͞Aͦ̐̐̉͘ ͕H̘̤͕̲̏̓̅Ạ̸̮̎Ḣ̑́͐́̀Ạ̟̅́ͨ͢͝H̕ ͔̥̘̮̱̲A̲͎̜͕̤͝Ḩ̱̱̜̠͖̱͕̹͘͘A͞҉ ̗̥̪H̲̜̠͎͎̦͔̣A͞҉̮̘̗̯̗̦̟̤̮H̃ͬ ̧̪̠͈͈̤̱̟̯͎͌̽ͤ̀̕͡Ḁ̵̓̋ͦ̽͆̄͑̆̒͊̈́̊̅̍͞ ̥̤͎̦̗H̅̃̇ͮͬ͑̕҉̭͖͕̟̥̤̮̣͞͞A̎̽ͥͤ̽̀̊ ̡̹ͯ̚̕H̷̨̭͖̦ͭ̎͊̐ͤͣ̋͋ͭ͋͛̈̐ͫͥ̚͞ ̯Ą͔̯̔ͭ̉̈̄̒̈́̐͂̅̍͢͝
User avatar #11 - Chizypuff (11/06/2013) [+] (6 replies)
To be fair,
how can you have small and large without a medium?
You either have a medium and a small or a medium and a large
User avatar #16 to #15 - gallusnasus (11/06/2013) [-]
... the realization that neither of us are going to get anywhere with our arguments because all three sizes are described in relation to the other two...
User avatar #98 - gardenmanly (11/07/2013) [-]
I am a customer who often gets a severe case of poo brain and can attest to the accuracy of this.

My most common blunder:

"Enjoy your movie sir!" "Thanks, you too!"
#113 - slumberdonkey (11/07/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Everyone ***** up
>Today at work
>Help customer
>She starts to walk away and says "Thank you"
>I start to say "no problem" and end up saying "no thanks"
>mfw
#39 - ultimateplumsauce (11/07/2013) [-]
Gas station back in the day
"Excuse me, your pump is broken! It doesn't even fit into the tank properly!"
"Maa'm, that's a diesel pump. It's designed that way on purpose so people don't accidentally put diesel into gasoline-engine vehicles."
"Well that's stupid, it doesn't even matter, it's all the same gas!"
User avatar #9 - stargatesturge (11/06/2013) [-]
I work in tourism. A guy came in one time asking how to get to the beach.
"Well, sir, you park at the parking lot in front of the lighthouse, and then the road continues down the hill to the beach."
"No it doesn't."
"...Next to the parking lot, the road turns in front of the lighthouse and leads you down onto the rocks."
"No, it doesn't. There's no road there."
"Directly to your right-"
"We were just there. There's no road."
"...In that case, it's really hard to see, but there's tiny, hidden trail that will take you down onto the shore. It's not marked or anything, and often times just looks like more bushes."
"Okay, thanks."
I went there a few days later. The road was there, clear as day.
User avatar #14 - marohawk (11/06/2013) [-]
Me: You can take the stairs or the elevator and you will see the front office once you are up there.
Dip **** : So is it on the 2nd floor?
Me: There are only two floors so yes.
Dip **** : Oh... so its up the stairs?
Me: Yes.
User avatar #18 - glorinar (11/06/2013) [-]
I had a good one over the summer (in Michigan). Was me and a co-worker restocking stuff and this guy comes up like:

Customer "Hey, can I ask you guys a question?"
Me: "Yeah sure"
Customer: "Are you from Michigan?"
Me: "Yeah, why?"
Customer: "Oh, isn't this an Ohio-based company?"
User avatar #94 - TheStranger (11/07/2013) [+] (1 reply)
I work at a grocery store. A woman asked me since an item was on sale for buy one, get one free if she could take one for free and not buy a second one.

This was NOT an isolated incident
User avatar #56 - leawesomerohan (11/07/2013) [+] (1 reply)
I worked at a Hardee's my entire senior year, this one stood out the most,
Me: Hi, welcome to hardee's what can I get for y--
Customer: HANG ON A SECOND!
Me: Alright mam, order when you're ready. (Easy break? WRONG)
Customer: Hello? HELLO ARE YOU THERE? WE READY TO ORDER (Word for ******* word)
Me: I'm here mam, just order.
Customer: It's MISS, not 'Mam'. I want your 99 cent spicy chicken nuggets.
Me: We..don't have those Miss. We have chicken tenders--
Customer: NO! I SAID NUGGETS!
Me: I understood you Miss, but we still don't have them. (Even my Manager behind me thought she was being a bitch.)
Customer: FINE THEN! **** YOU!
Me: Have a great day Miss.
So this woman floors it, comes to the side door and blocks another guy in to scream at me.
She-Bitch: EXCUSEEE ME. WERE YOU TAKING MY ORDER?!
Me: Yes Mam,
SB: YOU ARE ******* RUDE! WHAT'S YO NAME?!
Me: Rohan.
SB: AND Yo last name! Oooh you fired.
Me: I don't have to tell you that.
SB: Uh. YES, uh, you do boo-boo.
Manager: No he doesn't, would you like our number?
SB: **** you then! Lying to me! And by the way, it's 'Have a BLESSED day."
She turns and my manager waves: Have a great day mam. Thanks for coming to Hardee's.
I ******* hated/loved that job...
User avatar #50 - AlexPaincakes ONLINE (11/07/2013) [+] (2 replies)
The customer is ALWAYS an idiot 98% of the time. My job makes me hate the public more than I thought I could.
User avatar #32 - soule (11/07/2013) [+] (7 replies)
I worked at Taco Bell for 3 years. If I didn't hate people before that job, I truly, really hate people now.

One of the things that annoys me most on drive-thru:
"Yeah, I'll have three bean burritos and a soda."
>and a soda
>A SODA

What, do you want me to give you a cup and you come in and fill it yourself? You're in the drive-thru.
User avatar #44 to #32 - Hybricide (11/07/2013) [-]
I get that a lot where I work....

"Can I get the # 4 combo with chips and drink?" But they never specify what drink or what flavor of chips....

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