hwut. . it' s runny now science fiction universes so often treat humans as a smog. default everyman species or even the weakest and dumbest I ward to see a set
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hwut

it' s runny now science fiction universes so
often treat humans as a smog. default
everyman species or even the weakest and
dumbest
I ward to see a set it universe where were
actually considered one or the more hideous
and terrifying species
How do we know our saliva and skin oils
wouldn' t be to most other
sapient rates? What if we actually have the
strongest vocal chords and can paralyze or kill
the inhabitants of other worlds lust by
screaming at thorn? Wrist " most sentient the in
the universe toms out to he and
lives in fear or us rare "animal" races who can
move so quickly and chew shit up with our
teeth?
Like that old story “they' re made or meat." only
we' re scarier.
HOLY SHE!" THEY EAT FOR FUN
YOU GUYS I HEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN
A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN
AFTER Yoo SHOOT IT
humans are a proud warrior race with a pantheon
or bloody gods. named. Schwarzenegger. etc
A LIME WILL NOT FATALLY
INCAPACITATE HUMANS; ALWAYS DEST ROY THE
HEAD.
WARNING: HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT
NIGHT BY TRACKING ) NS THROUGH THE
ATMOSPHERE
WARNING: HUMANS CAN AT A
RATE OF 1 PER DESTROY
N LY
THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY
OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAIN
Muscles.
HUMAN BITES CAN BE FAHNAY INFECTIOUS
EVEN TO OTHER Htj MANS
WARNING. HANS CAN AND IMLU USE
WEAPONS SEE CLASSIFIED DATA
LABELED J. CHAN.
HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM
ALMOST EVERY ON THEIR BODY DO
NOT 'NEALE
OH GOD THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR
HANDLES OH GOD OH GOD
More mood sly. humans do have a number or
advantages even among Terrestrial the our endurance-
shock resistance. and ability to recover from injury is
absurdly high compared to almost any other animal. We
often use the phrase "healthy as a horse" to connote
hes moms - but compared to a human. a horse is as
fragile as spun glass There' s mounting evidence that
our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by
following it at a walking pace. without sleep or rest until
it died of exhaustion: it' s called pursuit predation.
Basically. we' re the Denominator.
The only other animal that can sort or keep up with us’?
Dogs Thats why we use them for hunting. And even
then, its only “sort or.)
Now extrapolate that to a galaxy in which most sapient
the did not evolve front mused pursuit
predators;
o our strength and speed is nothing to write home
abate. but we don' t need ta overpower or outrun
you. We Just need to outlast you - and try any
other species‘ standards. we gust plain don' t get
than
o Where a smote broken leg will ca use most
species to go into shock and die. we can recover
from virtually any injury that' s not immediately
fatal. Even train' istic isn' t
Hesse my a injury fora human.
o we heat ohm injuries with extreme rapidity.
recovering in weeks from wounds that would take
others months or years to heal. The results aren' t
pretty - humans have hyperactive scar tissue.
our other traits - but
they' re highly functional.
it Speaking of scarring. look at our medical science.
we developed surgery centuries before
developing even the most
anesthetics or life support in , humans
have been known to whom surgery on
themselves - and survive. Thanks to our
extreme heartedness., we regard as routine medical
procedures what most other species would regard
as inventive forms or murder We even perform
radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic
reasons.
in essence, we' d be Space on
I do nope you realize t' m going to be pic king up this stud and
running with it right?
outlaws have too many TEETH in mem, so we developed a way
to METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES Bl
OUR my to restructure over the course or years to lit them back
into shape. and then we continue to wear metal in out mouths to
keep them in place.
We romeo consultative relationships with tiny mammals and
Insects we keep at tray from bothering us try death. often using
tithe analog traps.
and m god. we will eat anything
o We use borderline tonic peppers to season our food.
er We expose ourselves to potentially lethal solar radiation in the
pursuit of darkening our skin
it We risk hearing loss tor the opportunity to see our revolte
musicians live.
o We have a game where two people get into an enclosed area
and hit each other until time mos moons or them pass out
it we willingly jump out or planes with only a piece or cloth
to prevent us from splattered against the ground.
o Out response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buildings
in the exact same places.
We climb mountains and risk freezing to death for bragging
owe
it We invented dogs. We took our one time predators and
completely domestic med them
o On a planet hill of lions. tigers and hears. we managed to
advance Mther and taster than any other species on the
planet.
tampons and longed and cries ain' t got shit on us
can we talk about how pursuit predation is fucking terrifying
it' s one thing to face doiing a cheetah, which will slam into you at EU mph
and break your neck
it' s another thing to run very quickly to getaway from a thing. only to have
it just kind or
show up
to have it be intelligent enough to figure out where you are by the for and
feather you' led behind. your footprints and piss and shit. and then you
think you' lost it and you bed down for the night but THERE IT IS
WAITING
WHEN YOU WAKE UP
and you split! again! but it keeps you. always in the comer or
your eye. until you just
is lo
we are scary mothera' i. kers
...
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Views: 24651
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Submitted: 10/03/2013
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Comments(91):

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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#1 - anonymous (10/03/2013) [+] (4 replies)
While some of this may be true in ancient wild humans, modern domestic humans are weak willed saps that would die of exposure in teh wilderness. Except for the very few survivormen out there.
User avatar #2 to #1 - nuciferatu (10/03/2013) [-]
The survival instinct is alive and well in all humans. It just takes the right circumstances to get it going.
#29 - hudis (10/04/2013) [+] (1 reply)
User avatar #6 - urikhi (10/04/2013) [+] (24 replies)
I could post all the Awesome humanity stories I have.... any takers?
#21 - miia ONLINE (10/04/2013) [+] (3 replies)
Let's compare ourselves to aliens by comparing ourselves to animals that evolved on the same planet as us

That doesn't sound retarded at all, right?
#27 to #21 - thechosentroll (10/04/2013) [-]
Actually, it doesn't. The idea is that we're weak compared to the shit on our own planet, but could be incredibly dangerous for things that evolved elsewhere. We consider animals that can disembowel you with a single hit, massive temperature variations, floods, tornadoes, flesh-eating parasites and wars perfectly normal, but they could actually be extremely rare in the universe.
#66 - sergeantpopeye (10/04/2013) [+] (1 reply)
#59 - felixjarl ONLINE (10/04/2013) [-]
#19 - whyunofeellucky (10/04/2013) [+] (4 replies)
I have said this so many times but...
glorious Orc master race
#28 to #19 - thechosentroll (10/04/2013) [-]
Daz a naic opinian an all and Imma letz ya finish, but da boyz is da best orkz out dere. Orks a'n't panzies laik dose lil' orcs. Dere'z a difrens.
#3 - oosulley (10/03/2013) [+] (2 replies)
Reminded me of this for some reason
#34 - motherfuckingkenji ONLINE (10/04/2013) [+] (7 replies)
I love these posts, but fuck that guy that said humans are hardier than Krogans.
NOTHING is tougher than a Krogan.

They have every advantage humans have, but they evolved on a world that is even more harsh and unforgiving than Earth has ever been. This makes them far stronger, tougher and more resilient.
Their skin is so tough it takes a blade able to cut metal like butter to even be able to scratch them.
They have 4 testicles (referred to as their "quad") and breed like rabbits if rabbits bred like rabbits.
In order for a Krogan to be considered slightly more than a child, they must prove it by killing a LOT of varren with their bare hands or by doing some other task that would make the ancient Spartans look like pussies.
Humans will raise even physically or mentally retarded children to adulthood, but if a Krogan child is too weak to even kill a varren, they just let them die.
You know what that varren thing I mentioned is? Picture a saber-tooth tiger covered in incredibly tough scales and with the ability to survive on almost any world and tear apart metal with little effort and even eat said metal to survive (to a degree). They are treated as dogs or vermin by the Krogan.
Krogans have multiples of just about every organ. For example, they have 2 hearts and 3 livers. That way if one of them fails or you somehow manage to tear open a Krogan's chest and rip out his heart, he could still get up, slap a Bandaid over the hole and murder your whole family.
Krogans don't have a brain. They have an electro-chemically conductive circulatory system. This allows them to never be paralyzed. By anything.
Krogans have an obvious hump like a camel's that stores water and nutrients. The larger the hump, the more manly, more capable and strong they are.
If a Krogan dies in battle, the family (if there is one) doesn't cry about it, they just say they were too weak to be worthy of being called a Krogan.
Humans live to be 100 if they're lucky. A Krogan can live to be over 1,000.
#4 - captainganto (10/03/2013) [-]
Warhammer 40,000. thats essentially the premise of this post
#46 - aceboy (10/04/2013) [+] (11 replies)
Relevant dumping commence
#32 - lalalaidarr (10/04/2013) [+] (2 replies)
This would make a good book, subverting all those scifi tropes and whatnot. Anybody know of something like this?
This would make a good book, subverting all those scifi tropes and whatnot. Anybody know of something like this?
#81 - bummerdrummer (10/04/2013) [-]
I read this on the front page last week, but I'll be damned if i didnt enjoy reading it again
#78 - amegaara (10/04/2013) [-]
GUYS AM I FUNNY YET HUH? AM I FUNNY PLEASE TELL ME my dad beats me up every night
User avatar #77 - instakill (10/04/2013) [-]
normally I would be mad for someone reposting something i posted, however;

1. It wasn't mine to begin with

2. humanity is awesome and this post should be seen by as many people as possible, so thumb for you
#74 - xsist (10/04/2013) [+] (2 replies)
User avatar #65 - bobebob (10/04/2013) [-]
There is loads of stories from the HFY (Humanity Fuck Yeah) phase on /tg/, all the good ones are in the archives here:
suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=hfy
#56 - anonymous (10/04/2013) [-]
and we build machines that look and behave exactly like us to work for us
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