hwut. . it' s runny now science fiction universes so often treat humans as a smog. default everyman species or even the weakest and dumbest I ward to see a set
Home Funny Pictures YouTube Funny Videos Funny GIFs Text/Links Channels Search

hwut

it' s runny now science fiction universes so
often treat humans as a smog. default
everyman species or even the weakest and
dumbest
I ward to see a set it universe where were
actually considered one or the more hideous
and terrifying species
How do we know our saliva and skin oils
wouldn' t be to most other
sapient rates? What if we actually have the
strongest vocal chords and can paralyze or kill
the inhabitants of other worlds lust by
screaming at thorn? Wrist " most sentient the in
the universe toms out to he and
lives in fear or us rare "animal" races who can
move so quickly and chew **** up with our
teeth?
Like that old story “they' re made or meat." only
we' re scarier.
HOLY SHE!" THEY EAT FOR FUN
YOU GUYS I HEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN
A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN
AFTER Yoo SHOOT IT
humans are a proud warrior race with a pantheon
or bloody gods. named. Schwarzenegger. etc
A LIME WILL NOT FATALLY
INCAPACITATE HUMANS; ALWAYS DEST ROY THE
HEAD.
WARNING: HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT
NIGHT BY TRACKING ) NS THROUGH THE
ATMOSPHERE
WARNING: HUMANS CAN AT A
RATE OF 1 PER DESTROY
N LY
THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY
OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAIN
Muscles.
HUMAN BITES CAN BE FAHNAY INFECTIOUS
EVEN TO OTHER Htj MANS
WARNING. HANS CAN AND IMLU USE
WEAPONS SEE CLASSIFIED DATA
LABELED J. CHAN.
HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM
ALMOST EVERY ON THEIR BODY DO
NOT 'NEALE
OH GOD THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR
HANDLES OH GOD OH GOD
More mood sly. humans do have a number or
advantages even among Terrestrial the our endurance-
shock resistance. and ability to recover from injury is
absurdly high compared to almost any other animal. We
often use the phrase "healthy as a horse" to connote
hes moms - but compared to a human. a horse is as
fragile as spun glass There' s mounting evidence that
our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by
following it at a walking pace. without sleep or rest until
it died of exhaustion: it' s called pursuit predation.
Basically. we' re the Denominator.
The only other animal that can sort or keep up with us’?
Dogs Thats why we use them for hunting. And even
then, its only “sort or.)
Now extrapolate that to a galaxy in which most sapient
the did not evolve front mused pursuit
predators;
o our strength and speed is nothing to write home
abate. but we don' t need ta overpower or outrun
you. We Just need to outlast you - and try any
other species‘ standards. we gust plain don' t get
than
o Where a smote broken leg will ca use most
species to go into shock and die. we can recover
from virtually any injury that' s not immediately
fatal. Even train' istic isn' t
Hesse my a injury fora human.
o we heat ohm injuries with extreme rapidity.
recovering in weeks from wounds that would take
others months or years to heal. The results aren' t
pretty - humans have hyperactive scar tissue.
our other traits - but
they' re highly functional.
it Speaking of scarring. look at our medical science.
we developed surgery centuries before
developing even the most
anesthetics or life support in , humans
have been known to whom surgery on
themselves - and survive. Thanks to our
extreme heartedness., we regard as routine medical
procedures what most other species would regard
as inventive forms or ****** We even perform
radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic
reasons.
in essence, we' d be Space on
I do nope you realize t' m going to be pic king up this stud and
running with it right?
outlaws have too many TEETH in mem, so we developed a way
to METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES Bl
OUR my to restructure over the course or years to lit them back
into shape. and then we continue to wear metal in out mouths to
keep them in place.
We romeo consultative relationships with tiny mammals and
Insects we keep at tray from bothering us try death. often using
tithe analog traps.
and m god. we will eat anything
o We use borderline tonic peppers to season our food.
er We expose ourselves to potentially lethal solar radiation in the
pursuit of darkening our skin
it We risk hearing loss tor the opportunity to see our revolte
musicians live.
o We have a game where two people get into an enclosed area
and hit each other until time mos moons or them pass out
it we willingly jump out or planes with only a piece or cloth
to prevent us from splattered against the ground.
o Out response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buildings
in the exact same places.
We climb mountains and risk freezing to death for bragging
owe
it We invented dogs. We took our one time predators and
completely domestic med them
o On a planet hill of lions. tigers and hears. we managed to
advance Mther and taster than any other species on the
planet.
tampons and longed and cries ain' t got **** on us
can we talk about how pursuit predation is ******* terrifying
it' s one thing to face doiing a cheetah, which will slam into you at EU mph
and break your neck
it' s another thing to run very quickly to getaway from a thing. only to have
it just kind or
show up
to have it be intelligent enough to figure out where you are by the for and
feather you' led behind. your footprints and piss and **** . and then you
think you' lost it and you bed down for the night but THERE IT IS
WAITING
WHEN YOU WAKE UP
and you split! again! but it keeps you. always in the comer or
your eye. until you just
is lo
we are scary mothera' i. kers
...
+331
Views: 24577
Favorited: 222
Submitted: 10/03/2013
Share On Facebook
Add to favorites Subscribe to oscarwashere E-mail to friend submit to reddit
Share image on facebook Share on StumbleUpon Share on Tumblr Share on Pinterest Share on Google Plus E-mail to friend

Comments(91):

[ 91 comments ]
Show:   Top Rated Controversial Best Lowest Rated Newest Per page:
Order:

Show All Replies Show Shortcuts
Anonymous commenting is allowed
User avatar #86 - drakonpunch (10/04/2013) [-]
We are much more fragile today than we were in the past. We were much better predator animals way back before civilization. We have however developed a good understanding of how our bodies work which we use to recover more quickly.
User avatar #89 to #86 - lokiwins ONLINE (10/04/2013) [-]
In a manner of speaking, we have parts that are stronger than they were. e.g. immune system. Influenza and cuts were potentially fatal in most cases. Sure antibiotics help but still, most people fight off the cold and infections just by resting.
User avatar #92 to #89 - drakonpunch (10/05/2013) [-]
Our immune system has adapted to new diseases, but it is really not any stronger as a result. Our environment is much more sterile than ever, and as a result we have allergies, which is a result of faulty immune systems.
User avatar #84 - lorddarkskull ONLINE (10/04/2013) [-]
**** YEAH HUMANITY
#83 - taiblockzero (10/04/2013) [-]
ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWER
#81 - bummerdrummer (10/04/2013) [-]
I read this on the front page last week, but I'll be damned if i didnt enjoy reading it again
#80 - sorinshrouds (10/04/2013) [-]
I feel pretty cool just by being  alive now.
I feel pretty cool just by being alive now.
#78 - amegaara (10/04/2013) [-]
GUYS AM I FUNNY YET HUH? AM I FUNNY PLEASE TELL ME my dad beats me up every night
User avatar #77 - instakill (10/04/2013) [-]
normally I would be mad for someone reposting something i posted, however;

1. It wasn't mine to begin with

2. humanity is awesome and this post should be seen by as many people as possible, so thumb for you
#73 - professorhouse (10/04/2013) [-]
lost it at door handles
User avatar #79 to #66 - amegaara (10/04/2013) [-]
no no no no no he said lets kill that with a stick AND! a stone
User avatar #65 - bobebob (10/04/2013) [-]
There is loads of stories from the HFY (Humanity **** Yeah) phase on /tg/, all the good ones are in the archives here:
suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=hfy
#56 - anonymous (10/04/2013) [-]
and we build machines that look and behave exactly like us to work for us
#46 - aceboy (10/04/2013) [-]
Relevant dumping commence
#70 to #48 - dissectedtesticle (10/04/2013) [-]
*******					 love you for posting this one, was searching for it for so long.
******* love you for posting this one, was searching for it for so long.
#87 to #70 - aceboy (10/04/2013) [-]
With pleasure
With pleasure
#45 - klutzyspy (10/04/2013) [-]
these people should watch Dr. Who
#34 - motherfuckingkenji (10/04/2013) [-]
I love these posts, but **** that guy that said humans are hardier than Krogans.
NOTHING is tougher than a Krogan.

They have every advantage humans have, but they evolved on a world that is even more harsh and unforgiving than Earth has ever been. This makes them far stronger, tougher and more resilient.
Their skin is so tough it takes a blade able to cut metal like butter to even be able to scratch them.
They have 4 testicles (referred to as their "quad") and breed like rabbits if rabbits bred like rabbits.
In order for a Krogan to be considered slightly more than a child, they must prove it by killing a LOT of varren with their bare hands or by doing some other task that would make the ancient Spartans look like pussies.
Humans will raise even physically or mentally retarded children to adulthood, but if a Krogan child is too weak to even kill a varren, they just let them die.
You know what that varren thing I mentioned is? Picture a saber-tooth tiger covered in incredibly tough scales and with the ability to survive on almost any world and tear apart metal with little effort and even eat said metal to survive (to a degree). They are treated as dogs or vermin by the Krogan.
Krogans have multiples of just about every organ. For example, they have 2 hearts and 3 livers. That way if one of them fails or you somehow manage to tear open a Krogan's chest and rip out his heart, he could still get up, slap a Bandaid over the hole and ****** your whole family.
Krogans don't have a brain. They have an electro-chemically conductive circulatory system. This allows them to never be paralyzed. By anything.
Krogans have an obvious hump like a camel's that stores water and nutrients. The larger the hump, the more manly, more capable and strong they are.
If a Krogan dies in battle, the family (if there is one) doesn't cry about it, they just say they were too weak to be worthy of being called a Krogan.
Humans live to be 100 if they're lucky. A Krogan can live to be over 1,000.
User avatar #38 to #34 - ghettoham (10/04/2013) [-]
And all that means **** all in game against Shepard right?
User avatar #40 to #38 - motherfuckingkenji (10/04/2013) [-]
Shepard is a ******* genetically-enhanced cyborg wearing the most advanced armor in the galaxy capable of administering copious amounts of the miraculous (and technically illegal according to intragalactic Citadel law, little fun fact) **** called Medi-Gel at any moment healing pretty much any wound he receives. His bones are reinforced with metals that make titanium seem like paper and even his skin is packed with a super-dense weave of fibers that's like diamond spider silk that can also administer Medi-Gel wherever and whenever.

And yet if a Krogan gets a good punch on him, his **** gets wrecked just as easily as any other human that got hit by a train.


That and it's a video game, so physics don't have to make sense to allow for gameplay 12-year-olds won't bitch about.
#41 to #40 - ghettoham (10/04/2013) [-]
And what about the first ME? I still remember wrecking Krogans like no other 						************					 on the planet as a plain human. I agree with ya, Krogans are awesome and all that... but you seem a little uh... obsessed with them.   
   
Besides, humans can do this. <<<
And what about the first ME? I still remember wrecking Krogans like no other ************ on the planet as a plain human. I agree with ya, Krogans are awesome and all that... but you seem a little uh... obsessed with them.

Besides, humans can do this. <<<
#42 to #41 - motherfuckingkenji (10/04/2013) [-]
Again, just a gameplay thing that doesn't have much to do with in-game lore and whatever. Krogans in the first game also rushed you and beat you down with little effort.... though maybe it's just because I play on Insanity.   
   
   
THE POINT IS!!!!!!!!   
   
Krogans are awesome and they have adorable little stubby tails that seem to serve no purpose. There's no reason not to be obsessed with them.
Again, just a gameplay thing that doesn't have much to do with in-game lore and whatever. Krogans in the first game also rushed you and beat you down with little effort.... though maybe it's just because I play on Insanity.


THE POINT IS!!!!!!!!

Krogans are awesome and they have adorable little stubby tails that seem to serve no purpose. There's no reason not to be obsessed with them.
#43 to #42 - ghettoham (10/04/2013) [-]
But humans man...


huuuuumaaaaannnnssssss.
#44 to #43 - motherfuckingkenji (10/04/2013) [-]
humans r dum an i hate them
glorious golden krogan master race
#60 to #44 - ghettoham (10/04/2013) [-]
Bro... humans are the best.   
   
Theres not a Krogan alive who can do this one.
Bro... humans are the best.

Theres not a Krogan alive who can do this one.
#32 - lalalaidarr (10/04/2013) [-]
This would make a good book, subverting all those scifi tropes and whatnot. Anybody know of something like this?
This would make a good book, subverting all those scifi tropes and whatnot. Anybody know of something like this?
#58 to #32 - delivering (10/04/2013) [-]
Well, there are those "Humanity **** Yeah" short stories that someone will eventually start posting here.
#39 to #32 - jesseholdeman (10/04/2013) [-]
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
[ 91 comments ]
Leave a comment
 Friends (0)